When Henry caught the ball, he felt like a star, he felt like Seulgi. For a moment in time, he felt like yeah, Dan is in the hospital, his favorite couple aren’t together anymore, but hey! He caught the ball. He was going to spike the ball, but that was something Seulgi did, he didn’t want to be a copycat, so he just turned around and smiled. But when he turned, his wide smile had been reduced to a scared frown. 

What's going on? 

He sprinted up the field, paramedics were rushing the field. Once again, Henry felt like he had a week ago. Hopeless, scared, worried. What happened this time!  

“Hey, Seul. Just squeeze my hand if you’re okay” Joy was on the field, holding Seulgi’s hand. Coach Bae and Irene were just making it onto the field too. Henry counted down the seconds till Tiffany Kang made her appearance.  

“Seulgi?” Henry looked between Irene and Seulgi, the little girl in him was squealing.  

Seulgi’s eyes were wavering, fluttering, she smiled. Henry smirked, concussed and still smooth.  

“Am I dead? I think I see an angel.” the Kang parents had just made it onto the field in time to hear their daughter’s line.  

“Alright, I think she’s fine. Just a nice little bump to the head. She'll get examined, Kibum, get us that field goal. Defense, get ready.” Coach Bae helped Seulgi up, Tiffany wanted to get a better look at her daughter because nobody was going to tell her how her daughter was.  

Seulgi stood up with the help of her friends, her mother wrapped an arm around her waist and together everyone went to the sidelines. “How you do you feel baby?” Seulgi shrugged, not truly paying attention to her mother, rather, she was staring at Irene. Irene was biting her nails, slowly making her way to the mother, daughter duo. 

“Mah, I pinkies I'm okay. But I need to talk to Irene. Can you give me a chance?” Tiffany shook her head. 

“No, absolutely not. Last time I let one of you just walk away my baby boy started seizing.” Seulgi smiled at her mother.  

“Mah, just stay right here then. I'm going to go right there, ten feet in front of you. Promise.” The mother of three sighed.  

“Fine, ten feet. And ten minutes young lady.” Seulgi nodded, gave her mother a kiss on the forehead and walked hesitantly up to Irene. Irene had her arms crossed, rubbing her arms up and down her arms.  

“H-hey Irene.” Seulgi swallowed hard, scratching at her neck just to have something to do with his hands. 

“Hey”, Irene whispered. 

“Um, t-thanks for coming to the game. I didn’t think you would come.”  

“I wasn’t gonna come, but I couldn’t really keep myself away.” Seulgi smiled, her heart relieved to know the love of her life missed her just as musch as she missed Irene. “Look” 

“Look”. 

They giggled a school girl laugh at having spoken at the same time. “You go first” Seulgi smiled. 

“Listen, I know I hurt you. I said some harsh stuff. And, I" locked up, “i just, I didn’t mean it. I just, um. Gah!” Seulgi smiled as Irene ruffled her hair, face bright red. ”Listen, I love you. And you’re an idiot, and I don’t want you to be a QB. But I can’t imagine my life without you, this has literally been the longest two days of my life. And if you think being a Quarterback will make you feel like you belong then okay. But please just promise me you’ll be okay.” 

Seulgi went to respond, went to hug Irene, but Irene was still a fumbling, jumbling, mumbling mess. She just looked too cute, so Seulgi just watched. Eyes filled with love, veins pumping with nothing but adoration.  

“I just, I don’t know Seulgi. I just love you. And oh my god, I haven’t even asked you if you want to still be my girlfriend oh my god”.  

Seulgi continued to watch, to stare, to gawk. 

“I hurt you, but honestly. You should just take me back, like look at us. We were perfect! Still are” she continued rambling. And Seulgi continued staring.  

“Marry me”.  

“I’m a catch Seulgi! They were mean words, sure, but. Wait. What did you just say to me?” Seulgi grinned, and finally did what she had been wanting to do since Irene had left. 

Irene ignored the dirt on Seulgi’s jersey, and let herself be pulled into a tight hug. Tears about to fall. “Seulgi, how are you going to ask me to marry you with no money!” Irene cried out, shoulders shaking as she cried. 

“We’re gonna wing it baby girl, just like I wing everything else.” Seugli pulled back, cupping Irene’s tear stained cheeks. “Listen’ere little lady. I will love you till kingdom come, and that’s all that matters we’ll figure everything else out later.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

Seulgi took a deep breath, all eyes on her. She looked around, everything felt so slow, yet so fast. Jimin was holding number 13 back, it didn’t look like he would hold long. Henry was being covered by three different defenders, no way she could get to him. Minho was making his way to the endzone quick, he seemed opened, I don’t trust his speed. He can’t run long distances, we can’t afford him getting tired and us losing this game during overtime. I can run it, I can run 80 yards, oh Irene and Mah are going to kill me!  

Seulgi tucked the ball into her chest, ducked her head and ran.  

Despite her greatest effort, her game winning throw didn’t mean anything if the other team managed to score themselves a point to. She had been blissfully happy, ready to remind herself what it meant to love on Irene Bae, right up until Jackals QB scored his team a point too. Stupid son of a ! Seulgi had thought as she watched wide eyed. And now, Seulgi found herself sprinting for dear life. 

Seulgi had always been running as a child, she often thanked her father for that. They fought a lot, sure, but everything she was, was owed to her father. When she was 8, her father taught her how to swim. He but a mask on her face, to make breathing hard, but he had told her it would give her superpowers; she had believed him. When Taeyeon had strapped the black mask onto Seulgi’s face she realized three things right away. 1. she couldn’t breathe, well, no, she could. It was just hard. 2. she was now nervous; don’t freak she had told herself. The 3rd thing she had noticed was her father was not nervous at all. Like he knew what was going to happen. 

Taeyeon smiled at her, and she smiled too, just to pinch herself because her father couldn’t see her. He walked up to Seulgi, hugged her, and promptly pushed the 8-year-old into the 12-foot-deep end of the YMCA pool.  

She was panicking, her hands were flailing, and she was sinking. She yelled and yelled, flailed and flailed, and just kept sinking. Her father’s image was blurry as she continuously fell back under the water. Why won’t he help me!  

“Help! Help---me!” Seulgi fell back under the water.  

People must have come to help, because her father was yelling at someone to her left. But whatever he was saying made them stop, but she didn’t understand. she clearly needed help, why won’t he help?  

“Seulgi”. 

“Da--addy!” 

“Seulgi!”  

“Help!” 

“Seulgi! Stop panicking!” 

What! Seulgi wanted to stare at her dad and ask him what drugs he was on. She wanted to just swim to him, and slap him. But what she did do, was sink again. 

“Seulgi! Kick!” huh? “Kick Seulgi. Kick your legs!” what does that even mean!  

Kick he had said, kick.  

“If you kick! You won’t sink!” so she kicked, and kicked, and kicked. 

She didn’t sink, she still couldn’t breathe right though. Her breathing was labored, but it just wouldn’t come out right, it wouldn’t come in right. Something wasn’t right. 

“In, out Seulgi. In. Out.” she tried to calm down, tried to kick and breath. Kick, kick, in, out.  

Kick, kick. 

In, out. 

“As long as you focus on moving your legs, you’ll never sink. As long as you breathe, your legs will keep kicking, and if your legs keep moving, you’ll never sink, and you’ll be able to breathe. So just keep moving.”  

It was these words that carried Seulgi through everything. 

Break ups?  

Just keep moving, and you’ll keep breathing, and you’ll be okay. 

Scary movie? 

Just keep moving your eyes, you’ll keep breathing through the scary , and you’ll be okay. 

Scoring the last point in a playoff game, just keep moving your own goddamn legs Seulgi, and you’ll keep breathing, and you’ll be able to continue your movement to the endzone.  

Her breathing calmed, and her legs continued flying. “Get her!” someone yelled. 

“Keep going!” Someone else had yelled.  

“Touchdown!” she yelled.  

“Panther win!” the loud speaker said. 

Seulgi looked around, everyone was smiling, and for the first time in years. She felt like she had made it out of the deep end again, her knees crumbled. 

I did it. 

The team was running to her, but all Seulgi could do was look at her hands. I did it. She hadn’t even realized she was crying. I did it Daniel. I ing did it. 

In room 202 lie Daniel Kang, and his entire hospital team staring up at the television showing the football game. The TV was on a 20 second lag time, so Daniel was watching his sister just catch the snap.  

“Who do you think she’ll throw it to?” Daniel shook his head unsure, eyes glued to the screen. 

“I have no idea. But I know she can do anything. After that Hail Mary pass, she’s superwoman.” 

“Yeah, but she went down hard. She could be rattled.” Daniel sneered at the male nurse next to him. 

“She’s a Kang. Kang’s do not get rattled.” 

“Yeah, but this is her first time, she’s a girl.” Daniel went to look at his nurse and tear him a new , only his sister had suddenly started darting down the field. “Oh my god, what is she doing?” 

Daniel sat up in his bed, “Holy , she’s running the ball on her own.” 

He couldn’t believe his eyes, his little sister, his sunshine was running. His eyes stung, and he didn’t even know why. “Why is she running! She’ll never make it.” 

Daniel shook his head. “No, she will make it. Seulgi can do anything.” 

When Daniel was 10, he saw his sister defy the odds for the first time. As children they were in several sports, he was in pee-wee football, and baseball. Seulgi was in kids track and field. 

After a rough two years, the Kang family decided the only way to calm their problem child, was to give her an outlet. Seulgi had already been kicked out of three schools, her ADHD too early to diagnose, and her father never trusted doctors anyway, so when Seulgi couldn’t read something properly, and would then throw a fit, Taeyeon thought, discipline, not, to get his child tested for a learning disability. After so many beatings, even that didn’t seem to be denting Seulgi’s outburst, her brother called her happy feet, she couldn’t sit still. The kids in school called her stupid, she couldn’t figure out the word, ‘there’. It just looked three sometimes. The contant fighting, soon took a turn for the worse on Mr. And Mrs. Kang. Tiffany felt like maybe talking was better, maybe Seulgi needed help, not a belt. Taeyeon felt like Tiffany babied Seulgi, it was about time she was aquinted with the belt. It was in Seulgi’s fourth school that a neighbor, Mrs. Bae said, “Why don’t you put her in sports? I bet having an outlet would really help her”. 

Taeyeon had never said yes so fast in his life, if he had known the Bae’s would continue to bless his life and three children; he’d have become their friends even sooner. 

Nine-year-old Seulgi wasn’t sure why she felt the way she felt, but she always felt antsy. The tag on her shirt was itchy, the denim of her jeans was sticky, her underwear band felt too tight, her deodorant felt weird, the perfume was too strong, the pencil too loud, her shoes too loose. The clock ticking was annoying, the kids talking was creating a wind gust, she felt cold. Her forehead felt dry, her lips chapped. Her glasses felt heavy. Everything just felt like too much. 

Home . The floorboards creaked, mom and dad are fighting. Kibum won’t share the remote, mom’s crying. Daniel keeps saying, that ‘there’ is T-H-E-R-E, it looks like theer, three, sometimes it even looks like ether. 

Seulgi blamed herself for her mother’s cries, her father’s late-night storming out. So, when she joined the Track and Field team, she felt like she could make it better. After two months in the team, Seulgi’s temper had gotten better, her grades improving with a tutor, her parents we’re still fighting though. After tripping, and breaking the big toe in her left foot, she had to stop, the fighting got worse. In the last month of the season, Seulgi was able to run again, she felt weird when she ran. Her parents didn’t watch her anymore, her parents didn’t talk anymore. 

But maybe, maybe if she won. If she won, maybe everything would be okay again. Maybe, hopefully.  

She was nervous, she was always nervous before a meet. Always sweating all over, always pacing and nervous.  “You’ll do fine”, he had assured. 

“Nu’uh”, Seulgi shook her head. Lips coming up in a nervous cringe, her two front teeth missing. “You don’t know that!” 

Daniel had hugged his sister, tucked her little head under his chin. “I do know that, you’re a Kang little lady.” Seulgi had huffed, Daniel’s chest felt the warmth of her breathe.  

“I can’t come last”.  

“It’s alright if you do, as long as you do your best. Mommy always says that.” 

“No, I have to win.” Daniel hugged his sister tighter. 

“Why?” 

“So, daddy will love me again.” Daniel bit his lip. He didn’t know how to tell his baby sister that she wasn’t retarded, she was dyslexic. She wasn’t stupid, she had ADHD. She wasn’t weird, just misunderstood.  

“Forget daddy. Forget everything, when you go out there, I want you to think about one thing. Those feet. Don’t be afraid of anything, don’t think about what people might think. Just run. Because you, are loved. And when you’re scared, and you think your legs won’t work, remember that I'm right there with you. I will always be right there with you. Because I love you Seulgi, I love you all the way to the moon and back.” 

They had hugged for a long while, swaying back and forth. Both trying to stifle their tears, hoping the other wouldn’t hear.  

They both heard it, felt the shaking.  

You, are loved.  

Seulgi looked around, her heart pounding. Just run. That was all she had to do. She looked up, her parents weren’t looking at her, only Daniel, Kibum was too focused on the eyeball of his Spiderman ice cream.  

Daniel’s heart sped as the man on the side yelled the start of the race. Seulgi took off, his little sister looked celestial running into the horizon like that. Daniel couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched his sister pass another person. Her hair was all over the place, her hands wide as she sprinted around the corner.  

Just a little more Seul, you’re halfway there. Seulgi was just about to pass someone else, but she tripped on seemingly nothing, skidding across the track. No! Seulgi stayed down, hand’s grasping at her knee. For the first time in months, Taeyeon and Tiffany were looking at their child. On the floor, crying out.  

Daniel jumped up, running to the sidelines. Seulgi was on her back now, the runners passing her. “Seulgi! You have to get up.” her brows were scrunched in pain. “Seulgi c’mon!” 

The last runner passed her, Seulgi couldn’t find it in herself to stand. I'm so stupid! She hit her head, still on her back. Tears falling down her face, her brother’s silhouette blurry. “Seul c’mon, you can do this. I know you can! I believe in you!” 

Seulgi shook her head, I can’t do this.  

“Seulgi! You need to move those legs, and show everyone that you are who I know you are. Get up!” Seulgi to her stomach, “C’mon! Show them you’re the best!” Seulgi gritted her teeth as she bent her good knee to stand up. “C’mon! I love you!” She stood, limping forward, tears still falling, she begged whatever god there was. her brother still screaming, still telling her she could do it. Right up until she believed it herself.  

First it was just one foot, slow. Then another. And then Daniel couldn’t even see right anymore, the tears were in his eyes, and yeah seul, run! Daniel ran alongside her, following her from the sidelines. “I’m right here Seul! Just keep moving.” 

The race was long over, but Seulgi would finish this race. She would move, head held high.  

“I’m right here little lady, right here!” her knee was pounding blood trailing down her leg. But she just kept going. “You can do this, I promise!” runners from the race were suddenly back, running behind Seulgi again.  

“I love you Seul! I'll be waiting at the finish line!” Seulgi just kept moving, limping. The finish line looked so far away. Seulgi looked up, her brother standing at the finish line, arms wide open. “C’mon Seul. Come to me! You can do this, I'm rigth here”.  

She nodded, gritted teeth. The kids next to her were saying something, she wasn’t sure. Just get to Danny, I can do this. Just run. Just keep on moving. She had picked up speed, she hadn’t noticed it. But what was originally a snail's pace, for the kids behind her, had become a walk, to a speed walk, until it was a slow jog. 

And then they were running, “You got this Seul!”  

Daniel fell back from the sheer force of Seulgi colliding into him. His legs barely catching up in time to stop their fall. “I did it Danny. I did it”.  

“You can do anything Seulgi, I'll always be right here.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Daniel felt like he was ten again, watching his sister run. “No way”. 

“She can do this. Run Seul. Just keep running.” His heart leapt watching Seulgi run into the endzone, her legs giving out as fell, ball tucked into her chest as she cried.  

“I knew she could do it”. The room was loud with cheering. Excitement for the young new Quarterback.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Seulgi stood in the locker room, her team long gone. All smiles, all hugs, all congratulations. “I’m proud of you Seul”, said girl turned around. 

“Y’know dad. I always felt like Mah babied me, because you hated me.” Taeyeon eyes darted up to the brown eyes that mirrored his own. 

“I don’t hate you Seul, I've never hated you.” 

“I always felt like you thought there was something wrong with me. Always so ready to hit me, to yell at me, to tell me I was messing up. It took me years dad, years to realize I wasn’t stupid, or retarded, or a waste of space, or a mistake, or some weirdo. I had actual problems and all I needed was help. Why wouldn’t you help me?” Seulgi gripped her helmet, hands shaking as she stared up at her father. “Why wouldn’t you help me?”  

The man took long strides to his daughter, ripping the helmet from her hand and shoving his daughter against the lockers behind her. He gripped his daughters face, hard. Eye balls shaking. “Now you listen to me little girl. You, are the blood that pumps through my goddamn veins. The beat to my ing heart. The oxygen in my lungs, the pain in my . And one of the biggest loves of my life. I am not, a perfect man. And I am not a perfect father, or husband. But I ing love you, so you get it out of your head that I don’t. That I hate you, or that I think your stupid, retarded, a waste of space, a mistake, or some weirdo. You are strong, brave, beautiful, honest, loving, and most importantly. You are my goddamn child. And there is nothing, absolutely nothing I would not do to protect you, help you, or raise you in the way I feel will make you a better person. You, your brothers and your mother are my world. And I ing love you”, Seulgi’s lips trembled as she looked at her father. “I love you Seulgi, do you understand me?” She nodded, tears finally falling as her father pulled her into a tight embrace. His shoulders shaking as he held his middle child against his chest. “You are my sun, my moon, my rock. I love you, don’t you ever forget that. Daddy loves you”. 

She wrapped her arms around her father, gripping the back of his shirt. She held tight, incase this was all a dream. “I love you so much”. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Daniel grinned as his father came into the room, “Hey Daddy!” 

“What’s up son”, Daniel shrugged, reaching forward with his good arm and hugging his father.  

“Whatcha doing here?” 

The man shrugged, “Been getting bad headaches. Your momma says she wants me to get checked out. I keep telling her, I'm fine.” Daniel chuckled. 

“Better safe than sorry daddy. You know how mah is, if I had listened, I wouldn’t be here.” Taeyeon waved at his son. 

“Don’t talk like that. You could be headless, and you’d still be my perfect boy.” Danie shook his head, eyes glancing to his unmoving arm. “Daniel, can I ask you something?” 

“Go for it pop.” 

“Did you know your sister thought I hated her?” Daniel sighed.  

“I think deep down, she knew you loved her. But on the surface, she felt like you favored Kibum and I.” The man leaned back in his seat, rubbing his head. 

“You know I don’t hate her right?” 

“Of course, I know that. But you’ve always been harder on her. “ 

“That’s because she never listened. My daddy taught me with an iron fist, it was all I knew. I was hard on you too.” Daniel nodded, a soft smile on his face. 

“I know, I know. But just because  PawPaw taught you with an iron fist, doesn’t mean you had to. She didn’t mean to act up dad, she had problems.” 

“I didn’t know!” 

“I know dad, I know. But she didn’t know either, she just thought you hated her. She just wanted you to hold her, read her a bedtime story, give her a kiss on the cheek.” 

“The men don’t do that son, we discipline. The women love.” 

“It’s the 21st century daddy. Maybe it’s time you change your thinking. Because, we’re all in our twenties still calling you daddy.” Taeyeon shot forward smacking his son upside the head.  

“Boy, I am your daddy. And when your old, I'll still be your daddy. What's my name?” 

Daniel chuckled, a stupid grin on his face. “Daddy.” 

“Damn right, and daddy loves you. Understood?” 

“Yes, daddy loves me.” 

“Damn skippy boy. Well, I gotta go it’s about that time for my appointment. I'll be over afterwards.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Taeyeon shook the doctor’s hand, a gentle smile on his bearded features. “Alright Mr. Kang. I'm going to ask you to change into this robe. And meet the technician for an MRI” Taeyeon nodded, grabbing the robe. 

“pink?” 

“We’re out of blue, sorry sir.” Taeyeon nodded heading to the other room. He switched out, do I keep my underwear on? He shrugged, unsure, and slipped out of his underwear. Tied the robe and stepped out.  

A nurse in a light blue pair of scrubs smiled at Taeyeon, “Right this way, oh.” Taeyeon followed the woman’s line of sight, his face bright red as he covered his crotch. 

“I uh. Sorry. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to keep them on or not.” The woman gulped, nodding. 

“Not to worry sir. Right this way.”  

“Ohh, it’s a wee bit nippy innit?” Taeyeon joked. I can literally feel my balls shriveling up right now!  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Taeyeon was once again seated with the doctor, a manila folder in front of them. “Mr. Kang. There can be many different reasons for your headaches, I don’t want you to think the worst.” The doctor opened the folder, pulling out snapshots.  

For a moment everything was just a blur, “Now listen, we’ve caught it early” 

Mr. Kang stared down at the photo the doctor was showing him. Words like, remission, survival rate, and early, were being thrown around. His head was spinning.  

For the first time in Taeyeon’s life, he was scared.  

“What are you saying?” 

“You have a tumor. we do not know if it’s benign or maligant. We need to do a procedure to find out.” 

“Procedure?” Taeyeon’s mind was a haze of confusion and fear. “I don’t wanna die doc. I gotta watch my son gets his arm back, and my daughter, I gotta watch her grow to be the best human I know she will be. I gotta watch my baby boy kick a field goal for the NFL. I, I-I-I gotta kiss my wife, grow old with her. I gotta die with her, in caskets beside each other.”  

The doctor sighed, “Listen to me. We do not know what this is. It could be completely harmless, something pushing against something else, that’s giving you a headache.” 

“Or it could be cancer.” 

“Mr. Kang. Do not worry yourself like that. Stress is bad.” 

“I don’t want to die Doc.” 

“You aren’t going to die. We're going to schedule the procedure to find out what kind of tumor it is. Talk with your family, I'll call you for dates to schedule.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` 

Next time on “Hike!” 

“Kibum! C’mon bro. Put the gun down.” Kibum shook his head, hands shaking as he waved around the gun, tears pouring down his face. 

“She killed him!” 

“Kibum, c’mon baby boy. Don’t do this!” 

“please don’t shoot me!” The blonde was balled up, hands out. “Please”. 

“You shut your mouth!”