Chapter 1

With a faint screech of its brakes the train stops at Seongsu-Station and opens the doors to her new life in Korea. Song Yuqi steps off the train into the warm light of the morning sun. Looking around her she can already spot the logo high up on the distant building. Letting the crowd carry her down the stairs and up on the streets she exits the station.

She feels an excitement that is in equal parts ecstatic and concern. She had done it. Well, not quite yet. But the first steps were done. The audition passed, the journey to Korea completed. But she knew very well that the hard part was still to come. Lost in thought Yuqi navigates through the streets towards the Cube headquarters still visible over the roofs. She was surprised how different and yet similar Seoul feels to her neighborhood back in Beijing. Similar low buildings, clean streets and every other corner a different small shop. She can't help but feel a small stab of homesickness. Not even 48 hours and I already miss home. Ridiculous. She thought to herself. Then her stomach drops. She can't see her destination anymore and a quick look on her phone tells her that she is expected in five minutes.

Walking to the next street corner she reads the street sign and enters it into her map app. Tough luck that she has not yet gotten a Korean SIM card. Without internet and in too close proximity to see the building over the roofs she has to rely on her coordination skills. And she knew very well that she had next to none of those. Four minutes to go! With determined steps, her suit case rattling behind her on the pavement, she walked down the next best street. Wherever she needed to go she might as well do it fast. At least she was close. She was so hectic she almost missed the young woman jogging on the opposite site of the street. She wore a medical mask and sportswear. But most importantly a white T-Shirt with a blue cube on it.

"Excuse me!", she exclaims as she runs towards the surprised looking woman. "Could you tell me how to get to Cube Entertainment?", she asks. "I am not from here and slightly lost." Impatiently she hobbles on the spot waiting for the woman to reply. Said woman still looks at her with a confused look. Embarrassed Yuqi realizes that in her hectic she has mumbled her sentences twice as fast and with horrible pronunciation. "Uuh...uh...how...where", she stumbles over her words. Flailing her arms in frustration she tries to collect herself to articulate in the foreign language.

"Are you Chinese?", the jogger asks her with an amused tone. "Yes." "Well let's try that then.", the stranger replies in Cantonese.

"Uh you are Chinese?", Yuqi asks happily. "Is it okay if I speak Mandarin? I need to get to the Cube Entertainment headquarters as fast as possible. I have", Yuqi peeks on her phone, "3 minutes".

"Better go fast then", the woman replies and starts jogging down the street towards the direction Yuqi came from. "Follow me. I am Elkie by the way." Dragging her suitcase behind her the soon-to-be trainee follows her. They come towards a busier street. Right above it and following its path on thick pillars are the train tracks. The whole area has a rough urban charm to it. And Yuqi has to admit that she likes it. Elkie notices her content gaze on the architecture.

“It looks kinda cool huh? Well just wait until you have trained for 10 hours straight and try to fall asleep while the trains are driving past the window every 15 minutes.”, she laughs. “Come on let’s go inside.”

Surprised that they already reached the company Yuqi looks up the building front. At the bottom a glass walled café is located. Over it are multiple floors and on the right side of the building an elegantly curving wood-structure is installed. It looks just like you would imagine the headquarters of one of Koreas leading entertainment companies to look like. Sleek, modern yet built with a sense for taste and functionality.

Elkie leads the way through the glass doors into a foyer that is only occupied by a gatekeeper that looks up as they enter. Elkie smiles at him and pushes Yuqi in front of her. “This is Yuqi”, she reveals to him. “I’ll get going then. See you sometime soon.”

Yuqi walks up to the desk: “I am the new trainee. Song Yuqi.”, she timidly introduces herself. The man is broad and short. He seems like he could easily win a boxing fight against an angry bull and eat half of it afterwards. Despite his intimidating appearance he comes off as a gentle and likeable man.

“Good morning Yuqi. My name is Park Chulmoo. This is your schedule”, he replies and slides a sheet of paper towards her. “I am the gatekeeper here. Which not only means I keep people out, but also you guys in here. Also, I’ll need you to hand over your cellphone. Sounds like prison so far doesn’t it?”, he says with a broad smile. “No worries. More often than not I am the one letting you poor souls off the hook if I catch you sneaking out at night or during training time. If you need anything at all ring me up.” He scribbles a phone number on her schedule. “Now you might wonder how to call anyone without a phone. I am ordered to take your phone away, but I can’t stop you from buying a new one and hiding it.”

A mischievous smirk appears on his face and Yuqi gets the impression that he finds great joy in helping the trainees break every rule in the book. “This is the key to your dorm room. And if I read your schedule correctly your dancing class starts in a bit. You should bring that suitcase of yours to the dorms and get changed and into the practice room for introductions and warm up. Any more questions?” Yuqi is a bit overwhelmed with all the information being thrown at her.

“Uhm no questions. Thank you very much”, she replies and grins back at him. “Oh, where are the dorms?”

“The dorms are down this floor and through the double doors towards the yard and this sign points you in the right direction with everything else.” He indicates a sign next to the elevators depicting the various levels and what was located on them.

“Thank you”, she says again and starts walking towards the dorms.

“Hold up young lady”, Chulmoo stops her. “You still have to turn your phone in. I’ll not let you off this easily”, he says in a cheerful voice and holds open a plastic bag. Urgh, I knew this moment would come. But parting from my phone still feels horrible. At least I'll get it back once a week to update everyone back home. With a grim look she turns her phone off and slides it into Chulmoo's bag.

Taking the folded paper out of the back-pocket of her trousers, Yuqi looks at her schedule for the day. Dance – Beginners, practice room 3.2 - 7:30am it says there. Walking past Chulmoo and down the path he described to her she comes on the yard behind the company building. It was separated from the street behind by the walls of various small buildings at its sides and a bigger one to the left with a sign over the broad entrance reading Dorms. The entrance was separated in two. One for each side of the dorm building and a small cubicle just past it. Yuqi pushed the door leading to the female dorms open and heaved her suitcase over the small step.

Her search for the room number on her key lead her to room 6 in the back. Eager to see her room and home for the coming years she opened the door. First thing she saw was a brown-haired girl shooting through the room with a small squeak. Fast the girl pulled a sweater over her bra-clothed upper body and turned around again. Yuqi felt the heat shoot into her head. “I…I’m sorry!”, Yuqi apologized.

“It’s alright. I am Minnie your roommate.” The girl introduces herself. “You aren’t from Korea, are you?”

“I’m from China”, Yuqi answers shortly. “Sorry my Korean speaking isn’t good”

“Do you speak English?”, Minnie asks her.

“Yes! And way better than Korean”, Yuqi answers happily while switching to the other language.

“They probably didn’t tell you that we will share a room huh?”, Minnie asks.

“Yeah. Sorry to barge in like that. I’ll knock next time”, Yuqi answered contrite. “I didn’t know that you were in here. No one told me that I have a roommate.”

“Oh, it’s alright. If I knew it was you, I would’ve relaxed. I mean we’re both girls and roommates after all”, Minnie shrugs. “You also have dance class now or not? You should hurry up we gotta get going.”

Yuqi opens her suitcase and pulls out the next best clothes suited for dancing. She hesitates before turning her back on Minnie to change fast, all the while avoiding eye contact. Afterwards both hurry out of the dorms and back to the elevator. With a silent ping it arrives at ground level and both enter. Minnie impatiently closes the door by hammering on the button. Then she presses the number three.

A comfortable silence spreads in the elevator while they go up. Yuqi would have to remember to use all the right honorifics. Especially with the instructors and trainers. She always struggled with those back in school. And actually, talking and using them would not be any easier. I could just use formal language for everyone. Using it too much can’t be worse than using it one time too few. Besides I don’t even know who’s an artist and who’s a trainee or staff. I really should have learned a couple names and faces. And better try to stay close to Minnie. Just do what she does and try not to embarrass yourself more than you already did.

They stepped out on the third floor and Minnie lead them into a large, windowless practice room to the left. There were already other female trainees warming up and stretching.

Yuqi shyly nods towards no one in particular and retreats into a free corner where she begins to stretch.

After class Yuqi goes back to the dorms to hit the showers. She enters their room, after knocking and giving Minnie more than enough time to make herself known. Minnie isn’t there and Yuqi let’s herself fall on the bed. For the first time she can take in her environment. There are two beds on each side of the room and opposite the door is a window with a table and two stools under it. It’s all very simple and functional. But the walls are painted in a soft eggshell white reflecting the sunlight from outside. And just past the window stands a gingko tree, which has a piercing green colour the now in autumn slowly turns to a dull yellow. Next to the beds are wardrobes for clothing and small cupboards for toiletries and similar small belongings. Looking at those Yuqi remembers that she still has to unpack. Dancing class was exhausting. While the dancing itself is something she is used to the strength exercises they did are not.

My body is already aching all over and it’s only the first day. I really should’ve tried to stay a bit more in shape. Well no time to laze around. She jumps off the bed. Dancing was hard but I didn’t come here to lie around in bed. Time to unpack fast, shower and then get to vocal classes. I really look forward to those.

After she was done Yuqi hurried out of the showers at the end of the tiled floor. Multiple trainees pass her by and she tries to avoid eye contact. Not knowing their names or how to greet them she hurries past without acknowledging their presence and they do the same.

Holding onto her schedule for orientation she decides to take the stairs next to the elevator. Time to take myself up on my word and get in shape. Elevators are for lazy people who don’t want to debut. Then again maybe I don’t need to debut that fast. Those stairs are steep as hell and I need to get to the seventh floor. But entering the elevator on the fifth floor is also stupid. I’ll just take the elevator up and the stairs down next time.

Out of breath Yuqi pushed open the fire door and came to a row of doors behind which sound isolated, small vocal rooms were located. She looked on her schedule and entered the mentioned room. Waiting for her was a small and thin woman in a long knit-dress. She smiled warmly at her.

“Hello Yuqi. An Mija”, she extends her hand. “I’ll be your vocal trainer for the near-future.”

Yuqi shakes the offered hand and gives a little bow. “Song Yuqi. Nice to meet you.” She smiles faintly.

“Alright Yuqi. You can read and speak Korean or not? What I need you to do is take these lyrics. Listen to the song I’ll play for you once and try to sing after it as good as you can. We’ll see where we’re starting out after that.”

Yuqi grabs paper and headphones patiently waiting for the music to set in.

“Well. I’ll have to ask you to stand before the microphone and sing into it”, Mija smiles.

Yuqi blushes. “Ah…yes, sure. Sorry.” With a deep breath she walks before the microphone and waits for the music. A Korean trot song comes on. Yuqi hates it. And the woman crooning in her ear really didn’t sing all that clear. After listening to the song once Yuqi tries to imitate the singer. Reading off the lyric sheet is hard though and she falls behind after the first few lines. Irritated she stops and carefully looks at the trainer.

“No worries. Let’s try something else. Maybe Korean is too hard for now. You can learn that in Korean classes, here it’s about singing. So we’ll give you something you can sing. Let’s try American pop songs for now.”

Dua Lipa starts playing and Yuqi feels more at home with that.

Yuqi happily leaves the practice room after her vocal lessons. Mija had complimented her work and begun to assist her in developing a singing voice fitting to her register and abilities. Singing to Dua Lipa had been fun and her head was filled with new ideas of singing and she could already tell that with time and endurance she would be able to sing like a real performer.

It was high time for dinner and Yuqi went to the eating hall. At midday she had only eaten some of the provisons she still had from her travel. But now she craved a warm meal. Entering the vast room on the second floor she was surprised and slightly overwhelmed by the amount of people in it. She could've guessed that this big of a building would offer space for a lot of employees. But just now the huge scope of running a music label hit her. And how she was just a small part of it. Just like everyone else. Once again, she decides to work extra hard. She feels like letting down all those hard-working people would be worse than anything she could have to put up with in the future.

She gets a steaming bowl of ramyeon at the counter and walks along the tables. The trainees seem to mostly sit in the back and Yuqi decides to do the same. While looking out for a secluded spot she sees Elkie waving at her. With a hesitant smile Yuqi approaches her. “Hey. Thanks again for showing me the way this morning. I would’ve been too late on my first day without your help”, she greets the older girl.

“Don’t mention it. I wanted to ask you if you would like to join me on my early-morning jogging route? I usually start at half past five.”

“Oh. If you’ll have me. Sure”, Yuqi answers. She was pleasantly surprised at the offer. She felt a little bit lonely without friends or family in a foreign country. And Elkie was quite nice. Also, she enjoys talking in her mother tongue with her.

“Great. I’ll meet you at the dorm entrance”, replies Elkie with a warm smile.

“I’ll be on my way then”, Yuqi excuses herself and keeps walking towards the back of the room.

“See you tomorrow!”, Elkie yells after her.

Yuqi carefully approaches a table with some of the girls from her dancing class. “Excuse me. Is this place taken?”, Yuqi asks quietly.

One of the girls on the table pointed to the chair opposite to her: “Take a seat.”

“Thank you”, Yuqi replied and pulls the chair out.

“You arrived today didn’t you? I’m Soojin. What’s your name?”

“Yuqi,” she answers. “I’m from Beijing.”

Soojin takes a bite of her food and chews. “How do you like it here so far? Did you have dancing with the others this morning?”

Yuqi nods. “Yes, it was really exhausting but I guess that’s the point”.

“Well they go hard on the people in the beginner class. But once you get more advanced, they focus on actual dancing and choreo. So, if you’re any good at it you should be out of there in a month or two.”

Two months of this! It’ll be hard but just another reason to work on my dancing. I just wish they’d actually let us do something else but endurance and strength exercises. “Well I haven’t done much dancing up to this point”, Yuqi mentions.

“Don’t worry. They want to get you on a basic level of fitness first, so you can actually pull off the dance moves they try to teach you. No point in teaching you something when you’re limited by your body strength.”

“Makes sense. Are you good at dancing?”

“I guess. I am in the advanced class and can usually pick up the moves after two or three tries. But that’s what they expect you to be able to do. So not much to brag about I am afraid.”

“Sounds harsh.” Yuqi became increasingly anxious about the performance demanded from her.

“It is. But then again that’s why only the best get to debut. If they go easy on anyone, they’ll have a mediocre group, and no one likes or pays for those. If you’d like I can help you with dancing. I usually train with Soyeon in a free practice room after classes.”

“Jeon Soyeon? She was on Produce 101 or not?”, Yuqi asks interested. She watched that show religiously earlier that year. “But yes. If you’ll have me, I’d love to join. But I’ll probably only be in your way”, she ads apologetical.

“Oh, that’s alright. We need more people to practice actual choreographies and with teaching the basics we also refine them. Besides Soyeon is currently on another survival show and practicing alone isn’t any fun. How about I meet you at eight in the yard and we see if we can find a free room?”.

“Sounds great.” Yuqi is relieved that she already met someone she can spend her free time with. Or what is considered free time when being a trainee. If she would not spend her free time practicing there'd be no way to ever get good enough to pass her first couple evaluations, not even mentioning leaving an impression to get into the debut team.

Happy that she already got a few acquaintances on her first day in Korea, Yuqi digs into her ramyeon.

After dinner she goes back to the dorms and, after knocking, enters Minnie’s and her room. Minnie sits at the table munching on a sandwich and seems rather unhappy. Startled by Yuqi entering, Minnie raises from the chair and turns towards her.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you”, Yuqi utters reassuringly. “Were you not at dinner?”, she asks carefully. Minnie really seems down. Did she sit up her only eating that sandwich? And she hasn’t even eaten much of it. I can’t tell for sure, but she looks like she cried. Wonder what’s wrong. “Are you alright?”, she asks softly.

Minnie looks up and hesitates. “I’m…”, she stops. “I don’t know.” With a frustrated expression she sits down on the floor, her back against the bed. “No. No I’m not alright. Sometimes I am questioning whether becoming a trainee was the right decision. Sure, everyone here has that dream of becoming a singer, and I do too. But looking at all those people who are not making it every year I am wondering if I have what it takes. On the good days I try my hardest to make that dream come true and on the bad days, well I sit here and brood.”

Yuqi sits down next to her. “I am not sure what to say or how to help. But next time you have a bad day talk to me. Ok?”

I’ll try. Thank you Yuqi,” Minnie gives her a faint smile.

“I am meeting up with Soojin in half an hour to practice. You can join us, if you want to?”, Yuqi offers.

“Sounds good.” Minnie says and jumps up with a happy smile to pull comfortable clothes out of her closet. “Soojin is really good at dancing. I am sure we can learn a lot from her. Wonder what she plans to practice. The last dance we did in dancing lessons was way too simple. Then again they probably want to get us on a solid foundation. And I must admit that I am far from that. Only thing I am good at is singing. But that alone doesn’t get you in the debut team. It’s actually so nice that Soojin is offering to help us out. She always seemed shy to me, not like the type that reaches out to new people you know. Then again I am not much better so who am I to talk.” Minnie turns around to Yuqi. “What?”, she asks, seeing Yuqi’s amused look.

“Oh, nothing!”, Yuqi replies in a cheeky tone and starts to go through her cabinet.

After both are changed it is ten before eight and, after filling their water bottles in the bathrooms, the two of them walk onto the yard.

In the middle of the yard is a water basin with benches on the side. Now in the middle of September the water is let out. After time and time again someone caught a cold jumping into it, with less than ideal outside temperatures to do so, it is almost never filled. Behind the water basin is a tall tree that at daytime throws its shade onto the tiled ground. Now with the sun down the two lamps standing left and right of the basin are lit and give everything surrounding them a faint dark yellow tone.

Minnie and Yuqi sit down on the bench and wait for Soojin. Ten minutes later Soojin comes out of the main building, outfitted in sportswear and with a towel and water bottle in hand. Yuqi rises and walks towards her. “Hello. I brought Minnie with me. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. Like I said the more the merrier”, Soojin smiles at Minnie. “Alright let’s check in with Chulmoo and see if he can point us to a free room.” She leads them back into the foyer and walks to the counter. “Hi Chulmoo. Are there any free practice rooms?”

“Ah, hello Soojin. I was wondering when you’d start picking up the dancing again,” Chulmoo grabbed the computer mouse behind the counter. “Let me check. Room 3.4 A is free. And make sure to close the window this time around or I’ll bust you next time I catch you climbing walls”, he said with a stern expression that was betrayed by the slightly raised corners of his mouth.

Soojin laughs, “Don’t worry, we’ll close them all and double check when we leave.”

The three of them go up to the practice room. It is a small one, separated with a movable wall from the room next to it, and has a mirror covered wall on the far side. Soojin peeks behind the false wall. “Good we’re alone. It’s annoying when we don’t have the room for ourselves and they start blasting music from the other side.”

Minnie walks up to the stereo and a catchy beat starts playing on medium volume. After warming up they start doing basic dance moves under the direction of Soojin. And after both Minnie and Yuqi pick those up quite fast they go to more advanced steps. “Use the mirrors and look at yourself”, Soojin remarks. “If it looks like you’re watching cable TV you’re doing something right.”

Yuqi looks at herself dancing. I am looking at my feet all the time trying to see if I do the right steps. And I look less than confident. And my moves look kind of wobbly. I guess confidence is key. Yuqi decides to ignore doing it right for a moment and instead tries to get in the right mindset. You debuted. You are standing on the stage of the year end awards and millions of people are watching. You already won 10 rookie awards and it’s time to do what you always do. Dance until the fangirls in the first row pass out. She stands still for a few seconds and takes a deep breath. Then she lets herself fall into the music.

After a moment Minnie and Soojin stop practicing and observe her with a look of surprise and astonishment. “Wow. How did you do that?”, Minnie asks when Yuqi finishes.

Yuqi slowly comes back to reality and realizes that both her training partners are staring at her like she grew a second head. “Uh, well I…”, she blushes under the astonished looks. “I realized that I had to be more confident. So, I imagined I had already debuted and was on the big stage and all that. And that I had done this over and over and it gave me the right emotions to just let go and dance.” Yuqi smiles happily. “I really feel like I figured something out today. Without Soojin saying that we should look at the mirror and try to dance like professionals I would’ve never gotten there. But I still need to practice and learn so much.” She looks eagerly at Soojin.

“Well let’s keep going then”, Soojin says and picks another song. They keep practicing until late that night. And while it’s exhausting and Yuqi can still feel her sore muscles from the dance classes early this morning she is more motivated than ever. It’s just my first day here and I already feel like I have learned so much and advanced quite a bit. Soojin and Minnie are so nice too. And everyone here is striving to be a better performer. I really think I made the right decision. I’m in the right place to work hard for my dream.

At half past eleven they close the windows and leave the room. “Thank you so much for letting me join”, Minnie thanks Soojin. “This was the first time in a while that dancing was fun for me.”

“Really? I love dancing, well I guess everyone has their preferences. You’re more than welcome to join again next time. You too Yuqi.”

“I’d love to.” Yuqi answers happily. Minnie nods in agreement. “When is Soyeon coming back? Her dancing on Produce was great.” Yuqi asks towards Soojin.

“I am not sure depends how far she makes it in the show. But I think the filming should be over towards the end of the month. So that’s when she should be back at the latest. I really hope she wins. She’s incredibly talented. Everyone in the company says so.” Soojin praises her friend.

“What did Chulmoo back then mean when he said he wouldn’t let you off the hook for climbing walls?” Minnie asked curiously.

“Oh that.” Soojin laughs. “From time to time we hang around on the roofs and the only way to get there is to climb up the yard wall. The guys have access to the roofs over their windows. They throw a rope over the wall, so the others can climb up there. We try to time it, so we get out when Chulmoo is making his turns at ten. But he isn’t dumb. He knows we’re sneaking out. He can even hear us talking and laughing from his cubicle at the dorms. But as long as we don’t drink or fall off the roof he leaves us alone. He’s pretty chill. It’s a miracle how he hasn’t gotten fired considering his job is to bust us whenever he can”, Soojin sniggers. “If you want you can also come to that.”

“When is the next one?”, Yuqi asks?

“I am not sure but probably soon. If you give me your phone numbers I can text you when I know the date.”

“Sure, I’ll give you my number tomorrow at breakfast ok?”, Minnie replies. “Do you already have a new phone Yuqi?”, she turns to her.

“No, not yet. But I might be able to get one before breakfast tomorrow.”

“Alright then that’s settled”, Soojin declares as they reach the ground floor. “See you guys tomorrow!”, she waves as she walks towards the lockers to get her stuff. They both wave at her and wish her a good night.

“Do only foreign trainees live in the dorms?”, Yuqi asks Minnie.

“Yes, mostly. And the Korean ones living too far away from Seoul.”

“Where are you from? I think I never asked.”

“Thailand”, Minnie answers.

“Hmm. I am so tired”, Yuqi mumbles.

“That makes two of us. Let’s wash up and go to bed. We’ll need the sleep.” After doing just that they fall into their beds and bid each other a good night. I am so tired. It was a hard day. But I think I can get used to this. And Minnie and Soojin are nice. I hope I can become friends with them. Yuqi thinks contently before passing out.

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This work can also be found under the same title/author on Archive of Our Own.