This is ridiculous. 

Utterly and insanely ridiculous. 

I've heard tragic tales about best friends who fall in love with each other., that the prospect of a relationship between best friends is doomed to fail. They say it's better to be safe than sorry. That it's better to just keep your mouth shut and watch your best friend from afar, love them and cherish them while you still can. I'd say that people who said those must have moved on or actually ended up with the love of their life. 

Not me though. 

I had wished though. 

I had hoped, that maybe, it was going to happen. That one day she'd wake up and call me for a different reason than just to make sure I don't stay in bed all day. That she'd come over, accept my confession and love me just as I loved her.

I still do.

And I think it's just one more thing in my life that I have to let go. 

I think it's time to let go. 

I think this as I fiddle with my hands, fingers shaking and leg bouncing. 

Everyone in the dressing room is rushing about, a commotion loud enough to make me wince. Make up artists and hair dressers are piled into the room with my best friend who's obscured by the wall divider across the room. She told me that it's a surprise, that she wanted to make sure that she looked good for him. 

She doesn't have to look good because she already does. 

But she'd rather hear it from her fiancee than me. 

He is her groom after all.

And I'm just her best friend. 

That's all I've ever been. 

Reaching into my pocket, I pat around for my phone only to freeze as I feel the box that I've thrown against the wall so many times before lodged into my suit pants.

Oh, right. I never exactly proposed.

But it's not like we were dating.

Defensively, I just knew that she was the one that I wanted to marry.

Looking up at the crowd of people ignoring my existence, I tug it out of my pocket out of  pure sadness. I didn't know what I was really thinking when I  walked into that shop one day. 16 year old me must have thought that if I showed this to her, she'd accept me but I was too much of a coward to even confess.

That was years ago.

I'm 26 years old.

I'm so far into my mind that I didn't notice that one of my friends had already sat down beside me. Well, looking up - it's multiple friends. 

Our circle of friends since childhood, my cousin Victoria, our little like-sister Sulli and our popular social butterfly that is Luna. They're all staring at me with pity in their eyes, eyes previously trained to the velvet box that I have firmly covered in my hands. I'm not hiding it per se, just making sure that it won't get lost in the reception anywhere. It'd be a big disaster if somehow it got mixed up with the actual rings. And besides, they all know that I've Soojung since we were kids. 

Victoria sends me a look that says that she's sorry for me. 

Sulli only snuggles closer to me, her head placed on my shoulder.

However, Luna can't look at me. She's the reason why Soojung had met Kai, being the best matchmaker she is.  At one point, I could have hated her but I won't because I'm not that petty. Sulli whispers gently, sending words of reassurances and I thank her even though we both know that nothing is going to stop the wedding from happening. 

That is if I speak. 

But I won't. 

Soojung, a few feet away, is squealing happily. Praises of the bride's beauty and glowing aura reaches the ears of my friends and I. 

We all look at each other. 

She's done.

They all stand up to greet her as I hastily make sure that the box is where it is. Hidden away, unknown to the very person it is for.

When I'm done, I glance up to look at the most beautiful person on the planet. I feel tears sting my eyes at how beautiful this woman is, for she is not mine and I have no say to even change that. She rushes over to us, her hands arm wide and when she finally engulfs me, sees me crying, she probably think that it's happy tears. 

Even when it's not. 

Her father walks her down the aisle with calculated steps. 

Every night leading up to that, I was the person who practiced walking down her aisle. It was a painful reminder that I wasn't going to be at the end of it all, waiting for her. This time, it's no different as everyone watches her reach her dreams. The man of her dreams as she's told me many times before. 

Key, the bestman is grinning widely. 

The maid of honor, Luna, is smiling despite the earlier awkwardness we had with each other. 

On the other hand, Kai, the groom, is smiling that handsome smile that probably won Krystal over so many times.

She once told me that I had the greatest smile she's ever seen. 

But I guess it wasn't enough for her. 

That thought alone makes my heart ache. 

The world disappears as they stare at each other lovingly. 

My heart breaks every second that I watch it unfold in front of my very eyes. 

It breaks a little bit more as the priest asks if anyone wants to object. 

Simulatenously, most of my friends turn to look at me. 

I clench my teeth, willing myself to stay put as the coutndown starts. 

Then it finishes.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!"

I unclench, loosening my fists as I lean my forehead against the chair in front of me. 

It's over. 

Just like I knew it would. 

To be continued..