when dawon casually mentions the annual town winter carnival while everyone’s cramped into the small dorm room she shares with luda, she doesn’t expect it to become a thing.

she doesn’t expect to see juyeon and jinsook jump up immediately, the two girls trying to shout over the other about how they should all take some time out of the week to go.

she doesn’t expect to hear sojung sigh from where she’s sprawled across the beanbag in the corner, reach into her bag and pull out the planner she takes everywhere and start scribbling into it—from the way soobin claps beside her and smacks at her shoulder, dawon can only assume that sojung has changed some of her “important plans” around to fit this group excursion into her day.

she doesn’t expect jiyeon, yeonjung, and xuan yi to pull up the towns calendar to check and see what attractions and rides they’ll have this year, but xuan yi’s quick mei qi, they’ll have the churros you keep asking about this year! and mei qi’s responding squeal as she hops up from the floor to double check makes dawon smile regardless.

what dawon does expect though is hyunjung’s near silent hum of muted interest from beside her as she takes a sip from her coffee, the older girl settling further back into the pillows they’re leaning against. hyunjung says nothing else as everyone starts to move around them (she only lets out an exasperated sigh when dayoung accidentally kicks her in the side from shock when mei qi’s squeal pitches just slightly higher when she notices they’ll have chocolate churros), but she does settle her head on dawon’s shoulder lazily, eyes shutting after a moment.

how hyunjung is always able to tune them out at their loudest, dawon will never know—she assumes it comes with years of practice from being around sojung, soobin, and jiyeon practically her whole life.

“do you even want to actually go to the carnival?” hyunjung asks after a few quiet moments, eyes still closed but head burrowing deeper into dawon’s shoulder, “i know you aren’t the biggest fan of being out in the cold for too long like we would be if we took a group trip.” dawon smiles at that, because she remembers back to high school, back when the older girl was the unattainable, chic senior and dawon was nothing more than a sophomore who admired from afar.

(dawon’s sat on the bleachers in the cold, fresh flakes of newly falling snow settled on her head and shoulders, watching on as luda runs back and forth across the soccer field. the shorter girl had begged dawon to stay behind for her, something about needing moral support to finish her practice, and dawon had begrudgingly agreed after luda had promised to treat her to movies and hot chocolate over the weekend. but that was an hour and a half ago and practice has another thirty minutes to go despite the snow and dawon is freezing.

“you’re dawon, right?”

she glances up at the voice, breath catching in when she comes face to face with none other than kim hyunjung. she knows of the older girl, everyone in the school does: senior vice president, lead in both the fall and winter musicals, ¼ of the schools most notorious friend group, and now the person actively talking to dawon.

dawon nods slowly after a few seconds of tense silence, and the smile of recognition that blooms across hyunjung’s face has dawon choking on a breath that gets caught in embarrassingly fast. hyunjung is quick to intervene, gloved hand swatting at dawon’s back as she hacks and coughs, despite dawon’s raspy wheezes of protest.

hyunjung chuckles softly when dawon finally recovers after a few more seconds, the sound traveling through dawon’s ears and settling inside her erratically beating heart (oh no, oh no, oh no), “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you into a near death experience.”

dawon shakes her head quickly in protest, wanting to deny ever being scared by hyunjung, wanting to assure her that none of it was her own doing but was dawon’s own incompetence at not being able to properly be around pretty girls, but hyunjung’s hand gently tapping the top of her head stops her immediately, eyes wide and mouth ajar.

“still, i’m sorry. but i came up here for a reason.” she hooks her thumb over her shoulder, nodding toward the windows of the student council office across the way, “we were finishing some last minute scheduling and i happened to glance out and saw you freezing out here. you know it’s winter, right? scarves and gloves are kind of needed.”

dawon bites at her lower lip, pretends the heat she feels scorching across her cheeks and what must be a pink tint to her skin is from the biting cold and not at the implication of hyunjung worrying about her wellbeing.

“so i brought you something, just to help you out until your friend is done.” hyunjung slips her backpack off her shoulder and digs into it, pulling out a gray scarf and a matching pair of mittens and holding them out to a still star struck, wide-eyed dawon. “i know it isn’t much—like say, a hot coffee or some soup—but it’ll do, right?”

dawon nods dumbly, feels her heart pound harder against her chest, and takes the scarf to wrap around her neck. hyunjung takes it upon herself to grab at dawon’s hands once she’s done, frown pulling the corner of her lip down and dawon wants to scream because a frown doesn’t look right on kim hyunjung’s mouth. then, as she’s tugging the mittens onto dawon’s hands herself, “i can feel how cold you are through my gloves. make sure you keep them on until you get home, okay? wouldn’t want them falling off.”

when hyunjung seems satisfied that dawon isn’t shivering nearly as much as she was when the older girl first got to her, she nods and slings her bag back over her shoulder, giving the sophomore a small smile and a wave over the shoulder as she turns to head back down to where sojung and jiyeon are chatting at the bottom of the stairs.

“wait!” dawon finally shouts after her, fingers curling into fists in her lap as hyunjung turns again, the same smile on her lips, “how do i get this back to you?”

hyunjung laughs again and dawon feels her heart swell and press against her ribcage, “don’t worry about it, dawon. you’ll pay it forward someday.”)

dawon shrugs now, hears hyunjung whine at being jostled on her shoulder, and smiles to herself. “it shouldn’t be too cold out. and besides, everyone wants to go, so i can’t be the one to ruin the fun of the plans.”

hyunjung hums again as she sits up properly when sojung mentions how late it is and that everyone should head to bed, turning to dawon with that same smile from years ago as she slides off the bed to stand, “make sure to bundle up at least, okay? for me. still wouldn’t want your fingers falling off.”

dawon nods as hyunjung reaches out and pats at her head tenderly, the younger girl fighting the urge to nuzzle into her hand, then smiles when hyunjung makes sure to be the last to leave just so she can send a final smile her way before the door shuts behind her.

she groans as she falls back against her bed, feet kicking childishly at the stuffed bear tucked away into the corner at the end. she turns after a moment and comes face to face with luda squatting down beside her head, devilish smile on her lips and a teasing question in her eye.

“still haven’t told hyunjung you’ve been in love with her since you saw her, huh? poor, poor, dawonie, forever the bridesmaid, never the bride.” she chuckles as dawon turns away from her again, reaching out to slap at her back playfully when she mumbles for luda to shut up, “i’m just saying, you should tell her. i mean, we’ve known her for years now and i’ve never seen her do the things she’s done for you to anyone else—not even for sojung.”

it’s quiet for a moment, luda waiting for dawon to answer and dawon, ever stubborn and unwilling to talk about this again, pretending to obnoxiously snore, before luda sighs and goes to turn off the lights. there’s no other sounds aside from her quiet good night, dawon and the rustle of her sheets before dawon is left in silence again.

she turns back onto her other side, staring outside the window beside her bed. there’s a street light that shines just so into their room and if she squints hard enough through the dark yellow-orange glow that washes over the floor, she can see the first snow falling.

maybe it’s time she finally paid it forward.