Kyungsoo is blocked by something, or rather someone when he tries to turn over and realizes that he is not the only one in his bed. He’s not pressed flush against Baekhyun, but he’s laying so only his head is close enough to fall right against Baekhyun’s shoulder. He almost forgot about everything last night, and it takes him a few seconds to process that Baekhyun is sleeping next to him in his own bed. 

 

He sits up, quickly, but quietly as to not wake the CEO and rubs at his eyes, and checks the time. It’s Saturday, meaning he’s busy today and Baekhyun probably isn’t. Once he comes to, and thinks back to yesterday’s turn of events, he’s glad he can take today to himself and try to figure things out, though he has a feeling he won’t be doing it alone. There’s someone next to him who is very insistent on helping, and getting Kyungsoo to finally, finally accept that help has taken many weeks of building trust. 

 

Kyungsoo quietly pushes himself out of bed, washes up in the bathroom, gets dressed, and begins prepping breakfast in the kitchen. Baekhyun is probably exhausted, especially after last night, and the last thing Kyungsoo wants to do is wake him up. 

 

He fills the silence with music to listen to quietly as he moves around the kitchen to get things out. He hums along, moves back a few steps to take a sip of coffee, then goes back to it. It’s nice to be able to make food for someone in his own home, and not his business. It’s a different feeling for some reason. Maybe the domesticity of it, he isn’t really sure.

 

All while he’s cooking and getting everything ready, he can’t help but wonder about what it is Baekhyun has in mind to help him. Last time he tried this it ended up with Kyungsoo making a scene in the lobby of his company, and then yelling at him in his office. Not that it’s going to end up that way this time, but it’s Baekhyun, who is always unpredictable, even when he doesn’t mean to be. 

 

The more Kyungsoo thinks about it all, the more lost he gets in his thoughts, and ends up losing track of time. When he gets a text from Jongin that interrupts his music, he scoffs. It’s a picture from a blog article about the new location kickoff party at G-Light last night. Of course the first picture under the introduction is Baekhyun and… Him. Holding hands. Baekhyun looking clean and confident and Kyungsoo looking… Quite the opposite. 

 

After sending too many emoji’s and exclamation points, Jongin writes, 

 

From: Jonginnie 9:30

 

> Look!!! My favorite hyung looks so handsome!!!!!! 

 

> You and CEO hyung make a really cute couple

 

> If youre a thing and haven’t told me i’ll be really sad:(

 

9:31 

> Stop leaving me read ARE YOU GUYS DATING OR NOT???????

 

Kyungsoo has to convince Jongin three times that no, him and Baekhyun are not dating, that the holding hands thing was initiated by Baekhyun and he just followed suit. Jongin was still not convinced but told Kyungsoo he wants to hear everything tomorrow when he stops by.

 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and promises Jongin he’ll get to hear everything in detail tomorrow. 

 

“Whose got you all smiley?” 

 

Kyungsoo looks up to see a very sleepy, bed headed Baekhyun shuffle into the kitchen. He yawns and rubs at his eyes as he leans up against the counter. Kyungsoo puts his phone down and tries to ignore the little jumps his heart does at the soft sight in front of him, “It’s Jongin. He saw pictures of us last night and is gushing like a little fanboy.”

 

Baekhyun giggles, “He’s a cutie.” Sleep is still very evident in his voice, and it absolutely makes Kyungsoo want to melt. 

 

“It smells heavenly, by the way. I should just hire you as my personal chef already.”

 

Kyungsoo laughs and gets some plates and bowls down for them. If this was what he got to see every morning, he’d take up that offer in an instant. 

 

“Sorry for waking you up last night… I hope you still slept alright.” Kyungsoo hands Baekhyun his breakfast without looking at him. The CEO shakes his head, “I slept the best I have in a while. I’m more worried about you.”

 

Kyungsoo huffs, his back is against Baekhyun as he gets his own food, “I’m fine. I just… There’s a lot on my mind.” 

 

“I know… Speaking of which we need to… Talk.” Baekhyun eases the sentence out cautiously, almost as if saying it too casually would cause Kyungsoo to completely fall apart. 

 

They sit down at the table, Baekhyun is right across from Kyungsoo. 

 

It’s quiet for a moment, just the two of them eating in silence. Kyungsoo keeps anticipating for when Baekhyun going to bring this up and that’s probably creating a bit of tension. He shouldn’t be nervous. Yet for some inexplicable reason, he is. It feels strange, but not wrong. There’s too many things to take in. 

 

One being Baekhyun, still sleepy eyed and face a little puffy. His shoulders are wide and completely fill up the shirt Kyungsoo offered. It’s like he doesn’t look bad in anything, somehow he just manages to make whatever he wears look good. 

 

Number two being the topic of discussion. There’s too many possibilities, too many ways this could go and too many ways to say it. Kyungsoo silently hopes Baekhyun didn’t steal a glance at the papers he was half-assedly trying to protect, that would mean bad news. Kyungsoo doesn’t need more of that right now. 

 

Too many things to look at, twice as many to think about, and Kyungsoo can only stare at his plate in silence. 

 

“I guess we should discuss the… Elephant in the room, if you will.” It’s like Baekhyun read his mind, and Kyungsoo doesn’t look up. He keeps his head down to his plate and nods silently. 

 

“Where have you been looking for gigs at?” There’s a poke into Kyungsoo’s shin, and he glances under the table to see Baekhyun’s socked foot messing at his leg. He looks up, Baekhyun’s head is resting in his hand as he waits patiently for Kyungsoo to answer. 

 

“Everywhere that I’m not qualified for,” Kyungsoo says finally, looking back down and taking a nervous sip of coffee when he sees the way Baekhyun’s lips part as if he’s about to ask a question, and continues, “Everything is either too sophisticated or… The opposite.”

 

“Kyungsoo, if you weren’t all the way out on the edge of the city I’m pretty sure you’d be like, a four star michelin Japanese cuisine chef or something. People would line up for miles to taste what you can make. Don’t put yourself down.”

 

“It’s not that,” Kyungsoo breathes, “It’s just that… No one wants a failed business owner? I mean... “

 

“Did you ever go to university?”

 

Kyungsoo blinks, and he feels himself hesitate. Baekhyun seems to notice too, and smiles knowingly, taking a big bite of rice and kimchi, “No?” He answers for him. 

 

“I spent my half of my twenties trying to make this place function and take care of my dad… So… I couldn’t. It didn’t interest me anyways.” Kyungsoo’s hand instinctively comes up to tug at his ear. He hates getting so personal like this. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Baekhyun, it’s just that he can’t seem to get past his immense fear of being judged by anyone that so much as looks in his direction. Baekhyun is barely and exception.

 

Baekhyun looks a bit sympathetic and swallows, “I see,” He says quietly. The two of them fall silent, and Kyungsoo can tell Baekhyun is thinking really hard about this, “So what’d you do? Stay here?”

 

Kyungsoo swallows and shakes his head. It’s not like he had a choice. Yes, he had ideas, and things he wanted to do. But when push came to shove, Kyungsoo prioritized more important, personal matters that have now piled up onto his own burdens in the form of papers on his desk. 

 

“I was trying to go to culinary school but… Dad got sick so… I stayed back.” He mutters. 

 

He’s quiet for a few seconds and huffs, staring at the grain of the table to avoid the pair of eyes across from him, “I guess learning from your dad who had spent nearly a decade of learning from someone else doesn’t really count.” Kyungsoo shrugs. 

 

Baekhyun chuckles, “You may not have a certificate to prove it, but you sure have the skill to.” Baekhyun is oddly enthusiastic about all of this. ‘Oddly’ as in something Kyungsoo isn’t used to. 

 

“My dad wasn’t a professional, stupid.” Kyungsoo breathes.

 

“Whatever, I know you better than anyone,and I say that you could be good enough to be considered as much.” Baekhyun’s legs are completely outstretched under the table now, both of his feet hit Kyungsoo’s knees simultaneously and he waves back and forth.

 

“I think you should try the culinary school thing again. It’d be cool.” Baekhyun shrugs, “But, the real point here is that you’re trying to get out of here soon, and I promised to help you as long as you cooperate. Remember what I said yesterday?”

 

Kyungsoo sighs and nods. Yesterday feels like a long time ago. It doesn’t feel like Junmyeon was in here only yesterday telling him that his time has been cut in half.

 

“Good, just hear me out, okay?”

 

“I hate this already.”

 

“Since you don’t really have the certification to really do what you want somewhere else, you’re kind of limited on options, especially with no university too.” Baekhyun taps the mug of his coffee as he stares down into it.

 

“Yeah, if that wasn’t the case I’d probably be out of here by now.” Kyungsoo says, letting his head fall into his hand on the table. 

 

“If you were a little more open you could have given me more time to help, but your stubborn refused to until a months time. Now be quiet and let me finish.” Baekhyun stares straight-faced at Kyungsoo, making him sink back into his chair a little. If he was dressed in a suit as opposed to Kyungsoo’s own clothes right now, he’d be a little intimidated. 

 

Baekhyun sighs, “I’m guessing since you’ve pretty much been approved to leave, that all that technical fancy has been taken care of, right?”

 

Kyungsoo nods, “I’ll be getting it all back within a few weeks.”

 

“Good,” Baekhyun takes another sip of coffee, “So that means you’ll have something to get by to maybe… I dunno,” He shrugs, “Go to culinary school, get certified and then start from scratch.”

 

Kyungsoo scoffs at how disgustingly easy Baekhyun just made all that sound. 

 

“Yeah, it sounds great until you remember that I’d still be homeless and unemployed.”

 

“I’m getting there, okay?” Baekhyun clears his throat, and adjusts himself in his chair, “Stubborn.” He breathes. 

 

“You have certification that you owned and operated a business, right? So you may not be working in the kitchen but you could definitely help manage.” Baekhyun waves his chopsticks towards Kyungsoo as he takes another bite. 

 

Yeah, he could. Kyungsoo has hardly touched his plate and only finds himself staring at it more than anything, listening to everything Baekhyun has to suggest. It’s very possible, but knowing how soon he’d have to get out of here, that eats at him. As much as he says he hates this place, Kyungsoo can’t really bring himself to really hate it. This is home, it’s all he’s ever known. 

 

“Hey, Soo.” Another tap on his shins again. Kyungsoo hesitates to look up, because he knows what he’s going to see. He knows he’s going to crumble under soft brown eyes across from him and just like this stupid, good for nothing restaurant, he can’t hate Baekhyun either. 

 

Kyungsoo finally tilts his head to glance up at Baekhyun, and sure enough, he feels himself begin to crumble just a little bit. 

 

“I know this is painful. , it is for me too.” He huffs, eyes tracing around the room before falling back onto Kyungsoo who almost shrinks back again, “Watching you go through this, and trying to do it alone on top of everything, hurts. I just… I want you to be okay. I want you to be happy.”

 

Happy. Happiness. Being happy. That sounds like a lot to ask for. That sounds a really ing long time away. 

 

Yet somehow when it’s Baekhyun who puts it into perspective, it doesn’t. 

 

“I… I gotta get the shop opened up.” Kyungsoo pushes his chair back and hastily collects his dishes from the table before Baekhyun can procure a response. Once everything is rinsed off, Kyungsoo only leans over the sink and stares at the running water from the faucet. 

 

Acceptance is a feat that Kyungsoo will never master. 

 

Acceptance for his admiration for Baekhyun, for the fact that his world is about to crumble and now he has to take the responsibility to rebuild it again; that his life will continue to change and he no longer has the luxury of being able to stay right where he is. 

 

Acceptance to change is a feat Kyungsoo will never master. 

 

“Kyungsoo?”

 

There it is. A warm hand on his shoulder, a soft voice beside his ear. He crumbles a little more. 

 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says, extending out his other hand and turning off the faucet, leaving them in silence. Kyungsoo wants to pull away, because that introverted, self-conscious side tells him to, but he doesn’t. 

 

Kyungsoo stays where he is. He feels Baekhyun’s hand slide across his back, feels him close in, and relishes in it. In the warmth, the comfort, all of it. 

 

“If I told you, you’d laugh.” Kyungsoo says. The words are heavy on his tongue, like a weight is tied to it and swaying mere centimeters for the floor. 

 

“How do you know?”

 

Kyungsoo blinks. He knows that he doesn’t have an answer for that, because Baekhyun probably, most likely, won’t laugh. But saying his own thoughts out loud makes him think that when he says it, it’ll sound different, it won’t sound like what it is he feels and that it will sound like nothing to someone that isn’t himself. 

 

Kyungsoo sighs, letting his shoulders fall, “All of this is starting to hit me all at once. Leaving, moving on, it sounds impossible and for someone like me… It kind of feels like it too.” 

 

“My dad didn’t die for me just to sit here and act like everything is okay, and my mom didn’t nearly work herself to death for me to leave this place behind like it’s nothing. Every time I go down there you know what I do all day, Baekhyun? I ing sit there and stare out the window. I sit there and think about everything I could have done different, everything I could have done better for myself, for my parents, I just sit there and think about how incredibly useless I am and how-“

 

Don’t say it. 

 

Kyungsoo cuts himself off from saying anything else and potentially risking a negative reaction from Baekhyun. 

 

Kyungsoo swallows, “Nevermind. I’m sorry.”

 

“Stop apologizing. You can’t swallow all of your feelings like this, Soo. It’s dangerous.” Baekhyun pauses for a moment and events from a couple of weeks ago start to flash around and resurface. Kyungsoo can tell he’s speaking from his own experience, and swallows the thoughts of wanting to push Baekhyun away. 

 

“You aren’t useless, Kyungsoo. I know it feels like it, especially considering how your circumstances aren’t how you anticipated them a few years ago. We’re all our own worst critics, our own biggest enemy, and terrified of moving out of our comfort zone because the mere idea of failure is terrifying.” Baekhyun squeezes Kyungsoo’s shoulder, “But you can’t let those ideas and shortcomings from your past make you afraid to move forward.” 

 

“I know that this is all weighing down on you more each day, but that last thing I want is for you to feel like you’re doing all of this alone. Because you’re not. I won’t let you, and you know that.” 

 

Kyungsoo’s neck is sore from staring down in the sink and his eyes burn from staring at the reflection of the light in the scratched metallic. Or maybe because, for the first time in a really long time, he’s holding back the threat of crying. For the first time in a very long time, Kyungsoo can feel tears threatening to spill over his eyes, his throat close off, and his mind go blank. No other thoughts other than to hold it back, not to let his weakness show. 

 

The weight of Baekhyun’s hand runs across Kyungsoo’s shoulders and down his arm, falling on his hand. Kyungsoo’s finger’s grip tighter around the surface under him, then relaxes. 

 

“Can I ask you a question, Kyungja?” The warmth of Baekhyun’s hand on his is comforting, but so was the warmth of his body heat when he had his arm around him. 

 

Kyungsoo nods once, and Baekhyun hums, fingers tracing back and forth over his knuckles, 

“Have you not told your mom that you’re closing down?”

 

No, not really. He’s kind of mentioned it, or something like it. Chances are she’s never noticed, or just didn’t bother to ask him about it because she knew the topic always gets him a little irritated and snappy.

 

“Not… Directly.” He mutters. 

 

“Soo…” Baekhyun heaves a disappointed sigh, and Kyungsoo wishes he could dissolve into nothing. 

 

“She’s like me… She doesn’t act like it, but this place means a lot to her. I mean to her, it’s like all she has left of dad. I feel like destroying that is… Destroying a piece of her, too.” Kyungsoo takes a slow breath in, and cranes his neck up, looking over his shoulder to catch a quick glance at Baekhyun standing next to him. He looks a little tired, but his eyes are empathetic, soft, and stare down at Kyungsoo with full attention. 

 

Kyungsoo is quick to tear his eyes away, and looks back down, “I don’t know how I’m gonna tell her, Baekhyun. I can already see the look on her face, I can hear her voice shaking while she tells me ‘it’s alright’. I just… .”

 

Baekhyun lifts his hand from Kyungsoo’s and wraps it lightly around his bicep, tugging lightly, “Come with me.” He says. 

 

“What? Where, why?” Kyungsoo looks up, but keeps his ground as he stares at Baekhyun in question. 

 He can’t quite decipher the look on his face, but his eyes narrow and he tugs Kyungsoo’s arm again, “We’re going to tell her. Right now. I’m going with you to make sure you do it.”

 

“What? No, Baekhyun you don’t get it-“

 

“I do,” He interjects,  “You’re scared and I get that, but what the are you supposed to tell her in a month when she asks how this place is doing? You gonna lie? Tell her it’s fine like you always do?” 

 

He has a point. Kyungsoo looks away again, silent as he stands stuck in place, trying to collect his emotions. 

 

“Exactly. Now come on, I promise I won’t get in your way. I’ll just wait outside or something-“

 

“No,” Kyungsoo is quick with his response as he looks back up in sudden desperation. Maybe a little too desperate. He clears his throat, “I mean- Do you… Mind? Coming in with me?”

 

Baekhyun blinks, obviously surprised by Kyungsoo’s sudden reaction. His hand drops from around the latter’s arm and down to his side, “I- Yeah, of course I will.” 

 

Maybe he was a little quick to ask for Baekhyun’s presence when he goes, but he has a feeling he’s going to need it. He can already feel his stomach sinking at the idea of how this could go, but at least having Baekhyun there will make things a little easier should he need the emotional support after he walks out the door. 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t plant to have his day turn around like this, but Baekhyun is right. He’s a month out now, and telling her, even if the reaction is negative, will be better than having her find out on her own or lying through his teeth. 

 

Baekhyun’s hand reaches back out and slides across Kyungsoo’s back,

 

“I’ll go and make myself a little more presentable. Go ahead and let her know you’re coming, okay?” Baekhyun’s voice is warm and comforting, it makes Kyungsoo want to curl in on himself and just stay like that. He nods, and feels the warmth of Baekhyun’s hand disappear and listens to him walk out of the room. Kyungsoo stays planted where he is a little longer, gathering the mental confidence to pick up the phone and dial his mom. 

 

She notices the sort of lilt in his voice when he says that he’s okay, and that he’s bringing a friend over because there’s something important he needs to talk to her about, and smiles sadly when she gets excited and tells him that she’ll make something delicious for them. 

 

Baekhyun is just walking back into the living room, dressed partly in his clothes from last night. Dress pants and shoes on, button up done loosely, jacket hanging over his forearm. His hair is combed out and hangs neatly over his face, rounding out his features. 

 

He still looks gorgeous.

 

“Ready?” Baekhyun asks, stopping right in front of Kyungsoo, smile soft on his lips. Kyungsoo nods, “Yeah, uh… Yeah, let’s go.” He turns around quickly but Baekhyun, as always, is quicker and snatches Kyungsoo’s wrist with just enough strength to turn him back around, but not enough to hurt him, and pulls him into a tight hug. 

 

“You couldn’t have waited until after we left to do this?” Kyungsoo can hear his own voice muffled in Baekhyun’s shoulder as he hugs back. 

 

“No.” Baekhyun mutters, “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

 

Kyungsoo scoffs but doesn’t reply as he hugs Baekhyun a little tighter before letting go, “We should probably get going.” He says, turning back around to grab Baekhyun’s keys and tosses them to the CEO who catches them and follows closely behind. 

 

—- —- —- 

 

The ride to his mother’s house was quiet. Kyungsoo’s mind was racing and Baekhyun seemed a little off for his usually enthusiastic self. When they pulled up, neither of them rushed to get out. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Kyungsoo finally broke the silence by undoing his seatbelt. 

 

“You okay Baek?” 

 

Baekhyun looks over as if he didn’t understand what he meant and nods, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” He says, “Are you… Are you ready?” He asks. 

 

Kyungsoo hesitates before responding. Baekhyun should know the answer by now, it’d be silly of him not to when really, he’s the only one who really does know that Kyungsoo is a pure wreck. 

 

“I don’t really have a choice.” Kyungsoo looks outside the window, tugging at his ear, swallowing as his mind begins to reel back to the possibilities of how this is going to go, each one weighing down heavier and heavier on his shoulders. 

 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo turns to look at Baekhyun, who still looks worried and a little nervous. 

 

“I’ll be right there. I know this isn’t the news she probably expected to get but you can’t leave her in the dark any longer, Soo. You have to do this even if it’s not what either of you want.” 

 

Kyungsoo nods, “I know. Let’s go get this over with so I can drink it away sooner.”

 

He hears Baekhyun sigh behind him as he gets out of the passenger seat, but it’s true. The faster he can get this over with, the faster he can sit alone and wither his sorrow. 

 

It’s a good introduction, at least. Baekhyun’s contagious happiness lifts the weight off of Kyungsoo’s shoulders temporarily. His mom engulfed the both of them into hugs as soon as she opened the door, catching Baekhyun, who was in the middle of bowing politely, completely off guard. 

 

Now the three of them sit at the table, eating and talking amongst themselves. Kyungsoo can only sit and listen, mind occupied with too many other thoughts to have other conversations. He has no idea how he’s going to approach this, what exactly he’s going to say, or how he’s going to say it.

 

“So what is it that you do, Baekhyun? Someone dressed as handsome as you must make quite a good living.” 

 

Kyungsoo perks up at the sudden question and looks over to Baekhyun who is sitting beside him. He can see Baekhyun’s ears turn a little pink, and he glances over to Kyungsoo as if asking permission to tell her. Kyungsoo nods and watches as Baekhyun sits up a little straighter, clears his throat, 

 

“I’m uh… I’m the CEO for a media company called G-Light.”

 

Kyungsoo braces himself for about a million other follow-up questions. His mother blinks, quietly repeats the words “G-Light” and nods. 

 

“A CEO you said?” She asks as if Baekhyun was trying to play some kind of trick on her.

 

Baekhyun smiles wide, and nods. Kyungsoo can practically see the confidence radiating off of him. 

 

“Last night we had a big party to honor the opening of our second location in Busan. Kyungja even went with me, and I think he was a bigger hit than me and our vice.” Baekhyun chuckles, throwing an arm over Kyungsoo and pulling him in, “You should have seen him, he seriously was something.”

 

Baekhyun pauses for a moment, and Kyungsoo counts;

 

Three seconds and Baekhyun perks up, arm falling from around Kyungsoo’s shoulders as he reaches into his pocket and pulls his phone out, “Actually,” He unlocks his phone and taps around for a couple of seconds “You can see him.” He smiles, handing his phone to his mother across the table.

 

Kyungsoo can feel his face start to heat up as his mother coos about good the two of them looked, “I haven’t been able to get Kyungie to dress this nice in years. Oh, Kyungsoo you look so handsome.” 

 

“Kyungie,” Baekhyun mutters, “Cute.” 

 

Kyungsoo wishes his eye-roll would be enough for his eyes fall out of his head, but it isn’t, and he’s still sitting here silently, watching his mother and god-forsaken CEO coo over him like he’s some puppy in a pet store window. 

 

“So what about your parents, Baekhyun? What do they do?” His mother watches Baekhyun put his phone away, and Kyungsoo watches the way his smile disappears for a split second, before returning as he looks back back up, taking a bite of food. 

 

“They’re rice farmers in a really tiny village a few hours from here… Nothing special.” He says a little too quickly. Kyungsoo exchanges a short glance with his mother before he turns his attention back down. 

 

His mother has a tendency to ask too many questions and almost invade people’s personal lives. She did it with their customers all the time, and now she’s doing it with Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo has to swallow his want to tell her to pipe down just a little before she gets out of hand. 

 

“Well I think it’s quite special. They must be proud they’ve raised such a successful son like yourself. Besides, coming up from tiny villages like that is very hard, isn’t it?” She asks. Baekhyun sits quietly, contemplating as he eats before nodding, “It’s hard. Getting out of places like that is nearly impossible I just… Got lucky, I guess.” He shrugs. 

 

“So, do you mind telling me how this unlikely pair united?” She directs the question to Kyungsoo, since Baekhyun’s mouth is full and he’s hardly said more than two words since they’ve sat down. 

 

Kyungsoo is the one to give Baekhyun a permissive glance this time, earning him a smile and eager nod. Kyungsoo sighs, “This idiot showed up at the restaurant during the middle of a storm because his motorcycle broke down and for some reason after I let him inside, he wouldn’t leave me alone.”

 

Baekhyun nods eagerly again, “It’s partly your fault too though, I mean, you did show up to my building with that che- Ow!”

 

Kyungsoo is quick to shut Baekhyun up with a quick, hard pinch on the thigh. Baekhyun turns to look at him purely offended, and Kyungsoo can only glare. He is not going to let Baekhyun tell that story again, especially because the topic at hand would raise more financial questions and he really isn’t ready to break the news yet. 

 

Baekhyun chuckles nervously and rubs the back of his neck, “Sorry, uh… He showed up to return my wallet… That I left in my jacket…. That I left at his place.” 

 

His mom stares at the two of them with a puzzled look, and Kyungsoo’s hand reaches up to pull at his ear as he looks between her and Baekhyun’s smug smile next to him, “After that I felt the need to return the favor. Not everyone is nice enough to come that far into the city just to return something.”

 

Kyungsoo’s mother nods, “He’s always gone the extra limit for people. He’s never skipped a beat when it comes to helping me or complete strangers, I can’t really say I’m surprised.” She smiles. 

 

If only Kyungsoo could disappear through the cracks of the wooden floorboards so we wouldn’t have to sit here and be the topic of their conversation. 

 

Then again, it saves him from having to speak up about what he’s really here for. Which he knows none of them have forgotten about, but it’s nice to not be put immediately on the spot. He hasn’t told his mom about Baekhyun anyways, so letting them have their moment is probably for the best. As much as he wants to get this over this, things like this shouldn’t be rushed. Kyungsoo will sit here with all the patience in the world if it means he doesn’t have to speak just yet. 

 

Besides that, watching Baekhyun laugh and smile and talk so excitedly about his job and what he does is… Cute, in a Baekhyun-sort of way. When he gets excited about something in particular he jumps up in his seat a little and starts going on about a particular story, using his hands to emphasize the first time he rode on a plane or how he was asked to take some couple's picture in front of the Eiffel Tower on his first trip to Paris. 

 

He really never stops talking. 

 

And Kyungsoo doesn’t want him to. 

 

Not because it saves him from having to say anything, but because he genuinely enjoys hearing Baekhyun speak, watching him get excited, observing his little mannerisms everytime he becomes invested in whatever he’s talking about. 

 

Kyungsoo keeps himself busy, cleaning off the dishes and wiping down the counters when they’re finished. He listens to Baekhyun quietly talking away as he dries his hands off. 

 

Then it goes quiet. Uncomfortably quiet as Kyungsoo rummages around the kitchen to get everything put away. He can’t hide from it any longer, he knows he can’t. No matter how much he wants to run away from his problems, Baekhyun is right. He has to do this. 

 

When he comes back in to sit down at the table, a reassuring hand finds his, and Kyungsoo breathes out slowly. 

 

“So, are you ready to tell me why you’re really here, Kyungie?” His mother’s voice is soft, and comforting, and just when he thought he had built up the strength to finally say it, his confidence crashes. 

 

“Uhm…” He can’t make eye-contact. He just stares down at the table and squeezes the life out of Baekhyun’s hand next to him. 

 

“I…” Deep breaths; One, two, “I’m closing down the restaurant.”

 

There it is. The silent response he’s been anticipating. Now for the backlash, for everything else that’s going to hurt. 

 

He finally looks up, his mother’s eyes are wide and full of shock and sadness, “Why?” She finally asks, a slight tremble in her voice and Kyungsoo looks away again. 

 

There’s too many “why’s”. Is he supposed to give her all of them? Would that come off as sounding too defeated, as if he didn’t try or was too lazy? 

 

Kyungsoo struggles to think of a proper answer even though the one he wants is right there, on the tip of his tongue but he can’t bring himself to say it, he can’t look at his mother across the table and say what he truly feels. He can’t do it. 

 

“It’s because of your father’s debt isn’t it?” She asks. 

 

Baekhyun’s grip around his hand loosens, and suddenly he feels the intensity of both their gazes as if he’s been put under a microscope. 

 

The papers, the nights he’s spent endless hours of nothing but staring at the numbers on a calculator, the countless number of letters he’s gotten in the mail, the black and white letters that pile themselves up on his desk and jump out at him to taunt him, eventually leading to his downfall, to this moment right here. 

 

“Kyungsoo…”

 

“Someone’s already bought the place, I’ll be out by next month. There’s nothing I can do at this point.”

 

“Answer me, is it because of your father’s debt or not?”

 

“I’ve already gotten everything taken care of and I-“

 

“Kyungsoo.”

 

“Yes, okay? Yes, it’s because of dad, and I didn’t want to tell you because I know you’d start blaming yourself and I didn’t want you to. I didn’t want to tell you that people stopped ing coming after he died, and that I’ve hardly gotten any customers since then, and that the place is under new management so the rent’s gone up, and since no one is coming, I have no income, and therefore no way to pay both the rent and dad's hospital bill. I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t want to tell you but I… I don’t have a choice now.”

 

Kyungsoo’s chest rises and falls as if he had just finished running a marathon. 

 

“I’m sorry, mom… I just… I don’t know what else to do.”

 

There’s a heavy silence that crashes into the room amongst the three of them. Kyungsoo’s desperately trying to hold back more intense emotions, leaving him fixed in place, staring at the table that starts to blend into one dark mass under his eyes. He can feel Baekhyun’s gaze next to him and the atmosphere that he had once made bright and lighthearted now feels much different. 

 

Maybe revealing all of this in front of Baekhyun was a bad idea. 

 

Cross that. It is a bad idea. 

 

He deliberately did the things he did for a reason. He didn’t want Baekhyun to know, he didn’t want to take that chance again of telling someone he felt close with and then dealing with the repercussions because he’s “dealing with too many emotions” or “is better working this out on his own”. 

 

He didn’t want to admit that he feels too attached to Baekhyun to lose him so quickly, so he lied. He lied, and now he has a feeling that, like everything else in his life, he’ll lose it. He’ll lose Baekhyun. 

 

“Kyungsoo… You should have told me earlier.” His mother finally breaks the silence, he can feel her holding back tears too. 

 

“I know…  thought I could fix it but… I was wrong.” Kyungsoo mutters. 

 

“I’m sorry-“

 

“Stop apologizing.” His mother’s voice is soft, but sharp enough to cut him off, “I’m not upset with you, Kyungsoo. I know how much love you had for that place, I know you’d never leave without good reason. I just wish you had told me a little sooner is all.” 

 

More silence, Kyungsoo’s hand is dead by his side without Baekhyun holding it in his. Kyungsoo nods slowly, taking a deep breath. 

 

“You know…” His mother starts, “Your father and I were worried about this happening. He and I were so confident that people would continue to come in though. Kyungsoo, how long have you been hiding this?”

 

“Since he died.” Kyungsoo chokes on his response. Three words that changed his life. Three words that aren’t supposed to mean anything negative towards his father, but they do, and he hates admitting that. He hates admitting how much he’s struggled since he died, how hard it’s been on himself and his mother and the business. How hard it’s been period. 

 

That warmth is back in his hand again, and he feels himself falling apart. He hates this feeling, he hates feeling so vulnerable, so emotional in front of the people who have only ever seen him try his best to be strong and act like nothing could ever crush him. 

 

Now they’re the ones crushing him, and his first instinct is to get up and walk away just like everything else. But Baekhyun is tethering him to the floor, and won’t let him leave until all of this is concluded. 

 

“I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to overwork yourself trying to make things better, I didn’t want to seem like I failed… I wanted to make you both proud but in the end only ended up getting ed over.”

 

“Don’t say that, Kyungsoo. I know you gave everything up for that place. You have no idea how proud you your father and I are. You’ve sacrificed so much for that little place, and to me, that says more about your character than anything. I know you, Kyungsoo, and I know that you aren’t the type to throw in the towel when things go bad. You just try harder, and this time you lost, but I know you’ll find your way back. You always do.” 

 

But it won’t be the same. Nothing is ever going to be the same. 

 

“Do you have a plan for when you leave?” She asks. 

 

Kyungsoo blinks away the sting in his eyes and nods, “Yeah. I’m going to go to culinary school and work managing someplace else in the meantime.”

 

“See? I knew you wouldn’t give up. You know you can always come here if you ever need a place to rest.” Her voice is too reassuring in a moment like this, and Kyungsoo wants to believe none of this is real, that none of this is happening.

 

But he nods anyways. 

 

It felt like an eternity before they all three stood up and began saying their goodbyes. 

 

Baekhyun is quick and quiet to fall out of the room, disappearing around the door frame that leads into the hall. 

 

His mother calls his name and Kyungsoo turns around to face her, immediately, he’s engulfed in a warm hug, “I’m sorry this has caused you so much pain and trouble, my dear.” 

 

“It’s alright… Neither of you meant it. I’m sorry for not telling you.”

 

“Hush, you told me and that’s what matters. Now, do me a favor,” She says, pulling away and taking both Kyungsoo’s hands in hers, “Take care of Baekhyunnie. I have a feeling he’s much like you when it comes to talking about his personal life. He doesn’t seem like he’s very family-oriented. Do you know anything about that?”

 

“Jesus, mom, no. I don’t dive head-first into someone’s life story when I first meet them unlike you do, okay?” He says, making her chuckle. 

 

“Whatever, just make sure you take care of him. He’s got a good heart, I think you two complement each other well.”

 

Kyungsoo huffs, “Sure. Thanks mom.”

 

Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are finally alone after the door closes behind them. Neither of them say anything as they walk back to the car in silence. Baekhyun looks stressed, he looks different than when they first got here, and Kyungsoo wants to ask, but isn’t sure if now is really a good time. 

 

Just like before, they sit side by side in silence before either of them really say anything. 

 

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo is the first to speak up this time, his voice is quiet, but it feels much louder in the confined space of the car.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Baekhyun’s words are harsh and cut straight through the atmosphere like a fine carving knife. It hurts. 

 

Kyungsoo knows exactly what he’s talking about. He knew he’d have to deal with this part, and everything that will follow.

 

“Baekhyun, I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to know, I didn’t want anyone to know. The last time I told someone I was paying off my deceased father’s hospital bill, they told me I was too much for them and they left.”

 

“What, so you thought I would do the same thing? You thought I wouldn’t get it because I don’t know how it must feel, right? I don’t know the first thing about you because I don’t care, I’m just another pretty CEO who has no feelings?” The engine rumbles from the ignition being , and Kyungsoo shivers. He’s never heard, never seen Baekhyun get like this. 

 

“This is why you’re shutting down then? Because you can’t afford to do two things at once.” Kyungsoo watches Baekhyun’s knuckles turn white as he grips the wheel. He feels his face start to heat up and takes a breath, 

 

“The place is a wasteland, Baekhyun. Get it through your ing head. You couldn’t save it. I didn’t want you to save it. Why do you think I’ve done what I have up until now to try and keep you from doing anything?” Kyungsoo keeps his gaze fixed on Baekhyun,  “I don’t ing want it, I don’t want anything to do with that place because I ruined it. I made a world of hurt for myself, I did all this to myself. Now I deserve to pay the price.” 

 

It’s silent for a moment, Kyungsoo feels like he’s shrinking into his seat, and Baekhyun hasn’t even looked at him, 

“You know, maybe if you could see past the walls you’ve built so ing high around yourself and tried to accept change for once in your life maybe you could see that, I don’t know, you’re worth it? Or that I really ing like you and actually want to see you happy and doing what you love. You’re worth the extra time Kyungsoo, I knew that from the night I first met you because no one would have done the for a stranger that you did. No one.”

 

Ouch. Kyungsoo can’t tell if Baekhyun is trying to against him or understand him right now. Everything he says, Kyungsoo wants to contradict because it’s his instinct to push away. 

 

But he’s been this honest up until now, he might as well keep it going even if it hurts like hell. 

“I didn’t want you to think lesser of me.” He mumbles. 

 

Finally, Baekhyun glances over, but only for a split second, “What? What are saying?”

 

“I’m saying…” Kyungsoo takes a couple of deep, silent breaths, he’s either going to regret this or not, 

“I’m saying that I like you and I didn’t want you turn on me like that last er did all because of something that’s out of my control. I didn’t want you to think of me as lesser just because I’m a failing business owner who has a giant ing hospital bill on their shoulders. I didn’t want you to run away so I tried to run first and ended up falling.”

 

Kyungsoo looks away from Baekhyun, back out the window and realizes they aren’t going back to Kyungsoo’s. They’re going the opposite direction. 

 

“Where are we going?” He looks back over at Baekhyun, who side glances him with a small shrug,

 

“You’ll see.”

 

By the time Kyungsoo looks back out the window, the city has started to crumble into farmland and country-side. Clouds scatter the horizon and leave speckled shadows across the flat horizon. Eventually, it breaks down into nothing but land, and Kyungsoo grows increasingly more confused. 

 

Eventually, after a few more minutes, civilization begins to sprout back up. Small neighborhoods here and a convenience store every now and then until Baekhyun stops at the mouth of a gravel road.

 

“I don’t want to the car up, so we’re hiking it from here.” Baekhyun undoes his seatbelt, but doesn’t open the door. He looks over, expecting for Kyungsoo to do the same, but instead he stays planted right where he is. 

 

“I’m not moving until you tell me where the you’re taking me.” He says finally, watching Baekhyun tense up a little, then roll his eyes with a heavy sigh, “I’m not gonna murder or some . There’s something I need to show you.”

 

“You can’t just tell me?”

 

“No… Just, please come with me?” His eyes have that sad little pleading look they get when he really wants something. That same one Kyungsoo has fallen victim to countless times now. 

 

“I swear to God if you try anything, I will kick your .” Kyungsoo finally follows suit, unclasping his seatbelt and getting out of the car, Baekhyun following behind. 

 

Kyungsoo notices a large sign that crosses over the road. It’s faded, and pathetically outdated that the words can hardly be read. 

 

Kyungsoo has to shield his eyes with his hand to try and decipher it, 

“Sprouting Hearts.” He mutters, “What does that mean?”

 

Baekhyun has already started walking and Kyungsoo swears as he jogs to catch up to him. In the distance, Kyungsoo begins to make out a structure, something large. His eyes can’t quite tell what it is from such a long distance, but one look over at Baekhyun’s face says that it isn’t great. 

 

They continue to walk together in silence, Kyungsoo tries to focus in on the structure that grows increasingly larger, another sign appears, this one a little more intelligible. 

 

Actually, a lot more intelligible;

 

Sprouting Hearts Children’s Orphanage

 

Just behind the sign sits a large building, much resembling a large house. It’s old, light blue paint peeling and chipping off, cracked windows, and boarded up doorways. 

 

It’s vacant. 

 

“I can’t really get mad at you for hiding something personal. I’m guilty of doing the exact same thing.” Baekhyun says. Kyungsoo stares at the building, then back at the sign. HIs eyes keep darting in between the two until he finally looks over at Baekhyun. 

 

“This place was my home from eight years old until I was eighteen. I spent ten years in this place.” Baekhyun shoves his hands in his pockets, “That little rice boy from Apu was abandoned at a festival because his parents couldn’t take care of him any longer.”

 

Kyungsoo feels his heart drop in his chest. He should have tried to piece it together sooner. He never talked about his parents, he always changed the subject when they came up, even today, his own mother noticed before he did. 

 

“I still remember it.” He huffs, “I remember running around all night trying to find them. They left me behind while lanterns were being released into the air. They just… Disappeared into the crowd. I never saw them again after that.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun looks over to Kyungsoo, his head is low and he has an apologetic, sad look in his eyes that pains Kyungsoo. “Just like how you thought I’d judge you, I was afraid you’d do the same. I was afraid too.” 

 

It  makes sense. The money he’s donated, the charities he’s supported, the way he acts so humble and is always ready to help people. It makes so much sense now, and Kyungsoo blinded himself from the thought that maybe Baekhyun has had his own personal struggles too because he was too worried about himself. 

 

He’s unsure of how to respond. He just stands helplessly and stares. 

 

“You’re the third person to know about this. Jongdae and Minseok are the only other ones who know. But, that’s a given. They know too much.” 

 

“Hey, you can speak, it’s okay.” He chuckles, desperately trying to fill the silence with something lighthearted. 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to feel though, other than a total jackass, an without a single idea that maybe Baekhyun is the way he is for a reason. That he isn’t the only one who struggles or is struggling. That there’s plenty of people like Baekhyun who have come from nothing, and rebuilt themselves into someone better. Someone they want to be proud of because they don’t have anyone else. 

 

“Kyungsoo, hey, what’s wrong? , I didn’t mean to make you cry- I- , Kyungsoo I’m so sorry.” 

 

Kyungsoo takes a second to realize it. Yeah, he’s definitely crying. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand, “, goddammit”

 

There goes everything he tried so hard to keep in. 

 

Kyungsoo turns his back to Baekhyun so he can try and collect himself. He didn’t expect a sudden wave of emotions to crash into him all at one with full force. But it did, and it knocked the wind straight out of his lungs. Everything, the restaurant, telling his mom, seeing this, it’s all crashing down straight on top of him. Kyungsoo finally collapsed under the weight he’s been carrying on his shoulders for so long. 

 

Then there’s the comfort of a familiar warmth on his back, across his shoulders, through his hair. It makes Kyungsoo’s shoulders tremble as he bites back countless sobs. 

 

Then it engulfs him, it pulls him in, holds him tight, and blindly, he grabs back. Tightly, not wanting to let go, hoping that somehow, his message is being received because he can’t form a sentence. All he can do is stand here and let his emotions possess him, cry until his head hurts, and listen to Baekhyun talk softly above him. 

 

And when it’s all over, when Kyungsoo can only apologize over and over to Baekhyun, they walk back hand in hand, and Baekhyun tells Kyungsoo it’s okay. That everything will be okay.

 

And for once in sorry life, Kyungsoo lets himself believe it, because now he has a reason.