The funny thing about surprises is that they don’t always go the way you want them to. Sure, there are times when they are successful, and the person on the receiving end of it gets an adrenaline rush and provides a genuinely ecstatic reaction. But more often than not, it leads to unforeseen, yet not entirely unexpected, disaster.

However, there’s always been an optimist in Mark Tuan, always believing in that shining moment at the end of the tunnel. So sue him for trying to surprise Jinyoung once again.

It’s only been a few days since he’s last seen Jinyoung, but there’s this ache in his chest that he can’t seem to get rid of when they’re not together. It’s not like they haven’t texted at all, in fact they’ve been texting quite a lot recently, so much so that his mom had asked him to stop texting while eating at the dinner table.

What’s more is that texting Jinyoung is just not enough. Mark wants to see him physically, maybe hug him long enough for the bite of winter to be… well, not so biting. Which is how he found himself hiding behind a tree near the front of Jinyoung’s house, holding the gifts he bought for his mom and dad in his chest. He was hoping to see Jinyoung again so that they could wrap their presents together while listening to soft music, but instead what Mark finds is a scene entirely out of a movie.

He’s not spying on Jinyoung, nope. He’s just looking out for him. Behind a tree. In front of his place. Not weird at all! What’s weird is the familiarity between Jinyoung and this boy he’s hugging on the front porch. Which, Mark never actually asked if Jinyoung is still single or not, he just assumed, or maybe hoped, that he is. Fear not, though. They haven’t kissed, which means that there’s a chance that this guy, whoever he is, is not Jinyoung’s boyfriend. Though Mark’s hopes are thoroughly shaken when said boy grab’s Jinyoung’s cheeks (with both hands? the nerve) and leans in to kiss him on the forehead. Mark in a sharp gasp.

From this distance, Mark can see that Jinyoung’s eyes are closed, almost as if he welcomes the touch, and it makes Mark uneasy. When the other man turns around, Mark can’t help but let out yet another gasp. He can recognize those manly features anywhere, quite familiar with that strong jawline and those keen eyes and that goddamn best-friend-stealing smile.

Im Jaebum.

***

It was during their sophomore year that everything changed. It was that year that showed the little cracks forming between Mark and Jinyoung’s friendship, the tiny crevices that they chose not to pay attention to in hopes of them closing up or going away. But alas, an earthquake in the form of Im Jaebum chose to make those imperfections even bigger and, consequently, permanent and nearly irreparable.

Im Jaebum was the new transfer on campus, hot and eye-catching and ready to steal people's hearts with a single look. There was a sort of aura about him that attracted boys, girls, and everyone else alike, and it was the same for both Mark and Jinyoung. Though while Mark felt only a mere wisp of attraction, Jinyoung was under a spell of steady affection.

Or at least that was what Mark assumed, if by the way they got along was anything to go by. From what Mark could tell, Jaebum had caught Jinyoung’s attention the first time he introduced himself in front of the class.

“He looks cool, don’t you think?” Jinyoung said eagerly, and his eyes never left Jaebum.

“Yeah, I suppose so.”

Coincidentally, Jaebum was also in the two classes with Jinyoung that Mark wasn’t in, History and Literature. And it wasn’t that it irked him, more so that he felt like he was missing out on the moments that they all could have experienced together. But yes, it also did annoy him for some strange reason. Mark chalked it up to friend jealousy and tried to move on, but it really wasn’t that easy.

Especially to Mark, who had always been a possessive person. Not possessive in the obsessive sort of way, but Mark always yearned for his friends' attention, most specifically Jinyoung’s. He found deep satisfaction in the fact that Jinyoung enjoyed his presence as much as Mark enjoyed his. And now there was another person battling for Jinyoung’s attention, and Mark didn’t quite know how to handle that.

What really set him off was the fact that the two seemed to be getting closer by the day, what with how Jinyoung gushed about him during lunch time, or the way Jinyoung would talk about him on the trip home, and how Jaebum seemed to spend more time being Jinyoung’s friend than Mark’s.

Though the icing on the cake was when Mark was rummaging through his locker in between classes on a Thursday. He was looking for his Algebra I textbook when he felt the cool aura of a certain Im Jaebum in his general vicinity. Sure enough, when Mark closed his locker, he came face-to-face with that pretty boy and that suave persona.

“Hey, Mark.” Jaebum said in greeting.

In hindsight, Mark should have known from then on that this wasn’t normal. Jaebum didn’t usually talk to him unless Jinyoung was around. It all already seemed fishy from the start.

“Jaebum,” Mark nodded in return, his textbook clutched to his chest. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing much,” he said. Though from the look of his features, Mark could tell that there was definitely something up. “I wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“What about?” They only had two classes together, both of which also had Jinyoung. So Mark couldn’t be sure what he could possibly ask Mark that he couldn’t ask the younger.

After a short pause, Jaebum began. “Did you do your Chemistry homework? I was kind of stuck on some of the ionization parts.”

“Yeah.” It was unusually easy. Mark didn’t say, but he definitely thought it. “Want me to lend it to you?”

“I appreciate it, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.” Jaebum laughed before he cleared his throat. “Actually, I wanted to ask you something else. Something more important.”

At this, Mark lifted a confused brow. “Go on.”

Jaebum began to look shy in front of him, ducked head and hands behind his neck. “Well, you’re Jinyoung’s best friend right?”

A nod from Mark. An exhale from Jaebum.

“Well, I was wondering if you knew of his dating status?” Jaebum asked softly as he scratched his cheek. “Like, if he’s single or if he’s dating anyone or something.”

Of all the questions about Park Jinyoung, this was the one that Mark refused to talk about. For all that he knew, Jinyoung could have been dating someone in secret. Though that thought seriously bothered Mark. He would not have liked it if his best friend kept something from him. Jaebum took Mark’s silence as reluctance to answer, which, he wasn’t wrong.

“O-Of course you don’t have to tell me or anything,” Jaebum said hurriedly, hands splayed out in front of him in slight surrender. “I was just wondering. For research purposes of whatever. I’m not trying to date him or anything, hahaha. Because that would be ludicrous.”

Jaebum’s wordiness was starting to annoy Mark, so he answered his question just to get the boy to shut up and go on his merry way.

“Jinyoung is single,” Mark replied flatly.

“Oh, he is?”

“Pretty sure.”

“And you two aren’t-?”

At this Mark did a double take. Was that what people thought about them? That they were dating?

“What?” Mark almost reacted in slight distaste. “No.”

“Sweet!” Jaebum exclaimed, before he gathered himself and his reactions. “Or, not sweet. Poor single boy. But hey, it’s almost time for class. Thanks for the talk! Bye, pal!”

Jaebum patted him on the shoulder. And the motion was definitely not welcome. They weren’t pals or whatever, acquaintances at most. Mark was more than happy to give him an answer just so he would leave Mark alone.

Though the more Mark thought about it, the more he wondered what the hell he had done. Was that enough ammunition for Jaebum to start courting Jinyoung? Was Jaebum even planning on courting Jinyoung? Surely he was, considering the fact that he went out of his way to ask Mark about the status of Jinyoung’s relationship.

Add to that the fact that the public thought that Mark and Jinyoung were dating??? Which, he supposed it made sense. They were always together, attached from hip to hip ever since they were kids. They also held hands sometimes, especially when Mark felt nervous and Jinyoung was there to console him. Or when Jinyoung felt jittery, and Mark was there to act as his rock. They always had lunch together too. Though that was merely because eating together was tradition from their younger selves. And they also spent their weekends together, either playing video games or going out to get ice cream or hang out at the local playground or watch a movie. And oh my god.

As Mark thought about it from a different perspective, he too would have guessed that they were in some sort of relationship that was past beyond friendship.

And Mark found that he didn’t dislike the idea.

If dating Jinyoung meant that they got to do the things they already did, just to an even better and more meaningful degree, then that was totally fine to Mark. Heck, that would be even better. Which led to the question that Mark didn’t want to answer:

Did Mark want to date Jinyoung?

It was during the next day on the way home that things began to shift.

Jinyoung had been giving him weird looks the whole day, and Mark could not for the life of him figure out why. Jaebum also seemed to be a bit cold to him, which generally wasn’t welcome but today felt even more so. The only good thing that came out of the day was the fact that Mark got a near perfect score on his Algebra I quiz.

More than once, Mark caught Jinyoung staring at him with what seemed to be a question on his lips, but each time, the younger boy provided nothing. Maybe it was Mark going crazy, or maybe it was Mark overreacting, but there was definitely something that happened between the three that Mark was apparently not aware of.

It wasn’t until they made their way home, settled alone in Mark's room that Jinyoung budged.

They were walking back home when Mark broke silence. Mark, feeling incredibly awkward from the day’s events, tried an everything-is-normal-and-nothing-happened approach. He hooked his arm around Jinyoung’s as they marched the streets side-by-side.

“Hey, Jinyoungie,” Mark said sweetly. “Since it’s Friday, want to come over and play some video games with me? I think my mom is making rice cakes today. Don’t you like rice cakes?”

Jinyoung looked at him, lips pouted and eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, that sounds great.”

Though from the tone of it, things did not sound great. Mark decided not to push it until they were alone in Mark’s room. Right now, he was content in simply walking home with Jinyoung the way they had always done, at each other’s side.

They went about their usual routine, taking off their shoes, kissing Mark’s mom on both cheeks, racing up to Mark’s room to fight for the better controller. Mark let Jinyoung win this time.

“Mario Kart?” Mark asked, taking out the game and already knowing the answer.

Jinyoung nodded.

Mark and Jinyoung sat on the edge of the bed, both of them cross-legged and comfortable. They played in silence, more silent than any of the times they had played this game, or any game in fact. Where Jinyoung had usually shouted at Mark for cheating, he now berated him in tiny huffs and small noises of displease. Mark found it all odd and incredibly off putting, so much so that at the end of the Grand Prix, Mark laid down his controller and faced Jinyoung.

“Jinyoung, what’s wrong?” He demanded. Mark had had enough of Jinyoung’s passive aggressive attitude, surely caused by something Mark didn’t even know he had done. “What did I do?”

Jinyoung turned to him then. “How do you know it was something you did?”

“So there is something wrong,” Mark declared knowingly. “It has to have been something I did, or else you wouldn’t be so unnatural with me.”

He crossed his arms and huffed. It was disturbingly cute.

“It’s not something you did, but rather something you said.”

Mark made a face. Mark tried to recall if he had said any malicious words towards his friend, but given the fact that they barely even talked today and yesterday, Mark came up with nothing.

“What did I say that got you so ticked?” Mark asked softly.

Jinyoung closed his eyes, as if answering the question would take too much out of him. He took a deep breath.

“Did you tell Jaebum that I was single?” Jinyoung questioned seriously.

Which, what? That was what Jinyoung was worried about all this time? What could have been so hurtful about that? Unless… Mark had given Jaebum the wrong information? And if he did, that would have meant that Jinyoung was supposedly not single, and shouldn’t Mark be the one upset about the fact that his best friend omitted big truths from him if that was indeed the case?

“Yeah, but only because I knew you weren’t dating anyone,” Mark stammered, suddenly uncomfortable. “I mean… you are single, aren’t you?”

Jinyoung had glanced at him then, and Mark saw the worried lines on his forehead and the flash of uncertainty in his eyes. Was Jinyoung actually dating someone? If so, Mark didn’t know how he’d be able to handle the fact that Jinyoung had been hiding it from him all this time.

“Yeah, I am single,” Jinyoung said slowly, questioning eyes focused on Mark. “But I just thought…”

The moment dragged on, Jinyoung staring at Mark, Mark feeling scrutinized by such an intense look. Mark wondered what Jinyoung was thinking right now.

“Jinyoungie?” He whispered. Jinyoung’s eyes fluttered and was first to break eye contact. He sighed, stood up, and began to pick up his school stuff in one quick motion. It seemed very much that Jinyoung wanted to leave, and that was one thing that Mark did not want until they had this little conflict resolved.

“Never mind what I thought,” Jinyoung mumbled. “I’m suddenly not feeling very good. I’ll talk to you later.”

Mark didn't want to talk later, he wanted to talk now. Mark got up to his feet as well, but before he could even reply, Jinyoung was out the door, closing it with a decisive slam.

Mark was shocked. Never had Jinyoung showed so much anger or irritability towards Mark, and the older concluded that he did not like it very much. In fact, he did not like it at all. Unfortunately, he spent too much time thinking because when he arrived downstairs and asked his mom where Jinyoung had gone, she simply shrugged and replied “I don’t know, dear, but he looked really upset when he ran out the door.”

Mark cursed under his breath so that his mom wouldn’t hear him. He opened the door to survey the outside, but it seemed that Jinyoung literally ran out, because there was no sign of him in the streets. Mark supposed he could try catching up with him and confront him at his house, but he figured he should gather all the facts as well as his emotions first before diving again into this argument.

Mark rubbed his eyes, feeling like he had missed something incredibly important. Like he had made a mistake without knowing, or dotted something that was supposed to be dashed. He wanted nothing more than to set things straight with his friend.

‘Talk to me, Jinyoungie.’ Mark had texted. When he received no reply in the next five minutes, he tried once more.

‘Jinyoungie :c’

And when that also had no answer after another ten minutes of waiting, Mark gave up and sent one more text.

‘We should talk tomorrow, Jinyoung… Good night.’

Suffice it to say, Mark got ready for bed incredibly annoyed both at Jinyoung and himself. Jinyoung for giving him absolutely no answer to his question, and himself for not knowing why Jinyoung was acting the way he is. Mark should know Jinyoung most, and yet, he was still uncertain as to why Jinyoung was so upset by the fact that he told Jaebum he was single.

Mark pondered on it all night and narrowed it down into two things. It could be the fact that Jinyoung didn’t want Jaebum specifically to know that he was single. Why that would be, Mark had no answer. Perhaps he did not fancy Jaebum going after him as he had no feelings for the boy? But Mark thought Jinyoung had an eye for him. Maybe he had been mistaken.

It could also be that Jinyoung didn’t want Mark to say he was single. Which, upon racking his head for answers, Mark came up with one. Again, that maybe Jinyoung did not want Jaebum to go after him, but with the reason that Jinyoung already had feelings for someone else.

Could that somebody else be someone they knew? Could that someone else possibly be Mark? He tossed the idea around his head once more. He didn’t mind dating Jinyoung. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he seemed to like the idea. And the more he played with the idea, the more it made sense.

Perhaps Jinyoung was hurt that Mark himself said that Jinyoung was single, because he had secretly hoped that Mark wanted him for himself. It wasn’t entirely unbelievable.

Was that what Jinyoung had thought earlier in the afternoon? Could it be that he thought that maybe, after all these years of being together, of being best friends, that there was something going on… between them?

Mark in a breath. He wanted this to be true. And he realized now, after all of these thoughts, that there was one truth to be gained from all of it.

He had feelings for his friend, who may or may not have feelings for him. He bit his lip. He needed to talk to Jinyoung as soon as possible at this revelation. It made so much sense to him. They made so much sense. Mark could feel it in his gut that this was the correct answer, the one that Jinyoung was attempting to convey but couldn’t.

Mark liked Jinyoung, had always liked him more than a friend should. He took care of Jinyoung more than a friend should, making sure the boy was fed and buckling him with his seatbelt despite the fact that the younger boy was old enough to do it on his own. Mark enjoyed Jinyoung’s presence, but enjoyed more the way he smiled with those perfectly straight teeth and crinkly eyes, all moon shaped and sparkly. He liked holding Jinyoung’s hand more than a friend should, reveled in the warmth it brought regardless of the weather. His stomach flipped at the thought that there was a chance that Jinyoung liked him back.

Dating Jinyoung, it would be like Paradise. Mark knew this. Mark felt it deep in his heart and to the very core of his bones. Jinyoung brought happiness to every inch of Mark’s life, and Mark wanted, hoped, that he could do the same for Jinyoung.

Mark could barely contain his excitement in his bed that he was unsure how he had fallen asleep, just that he did. When he woke up, all of the thoughts from the night before flooded back in. He immediately checked his phone to see if there were any messages from Jinyoung, only to find that the only thing staring back were the numbers 9:07 as well as zero notifications.

Mark sighed. He knew what he had to do, and he wanted to do it well. He quickly got ready and went to the mall by himself. He had gone to the jewelry store and bought a pair of matching necklaces, sterling silver and half a heart on each. The credit card that his mom had given him earlier this year was supposed to be used for emergencies, and the blooming love he felt for his best friend was definitely an emergency.

“Whoever she is, she’s lucky,” the cashier had said as they were finishing the transaction. Mark was bothered by the fact that the cashier assumed the person he was gifting this to was a girl.

“It’s a he, actually,” Mark corrected the cashier. “And no, I’m the lucky one.”

The cashier looked sheepish, but nodded in apology nonetheless.

When Mark got to the front of Jinyoung’s house, he rang the doorbell. He didn’t have to wait long as the door opened rather quickly.

Mrs. Park was wearing simple clothes under a colorful apron, yet Mark thought she could easily pass for an actress even with that attire.

“Mrs. Park! How have you been?” Mark asked excitedly.

“I’ve been well, sweetie,” She said but she looked confused. “Are you here to see Jinyoung?”

Ever the psychic, she was. Mark nodded. “Yeah, is he home?”

“Well, he left just a little over ten minutes ago and told me that he was supposed to meet up with you and this Jaebum kid in the theaters,” Mrs. Park put her hands on her hips. “If that boy lied-”

“No,” Mark interrupted. Mark knew that Jinyoung would be in deep trouble if Mrs. Park found out that he lied. And that meant he would be grounded. And that meant that they wouldn’t be able to go on dates if this all went according to plan. Mark made a show to check his phone and chuckled nervously. “Ah, it's my fault. Silly me. I assumed that we would go take the bus to the movies together, but it looks like he has already gone before me. No worries, Mrs. Park. No need to tell him I stopped by.”

If Mark had acted strangely, Mrs. Park didn’t mention it. Only said, “Take care, dear. And do come by a bit more. We miss you here.”

Mark had given her a smile and a warm hug. It wasn’t until on the way back that it had dawned on Mark that Jinyoung was with Jaebum right now. And the thought that they were together in the absence of Mark’s presence got him strangely upset.

‘Jinyoungie, I need to talk to you! Asap!’ Mark had texted.

Jinyoung didn’t answer at all throughout the day. He didn’t even pick up when Mark tried to call him in the evening. On the third try, his call went straight to voicemail.

It all made Mark especially nervous and uptight. It made him wonder if he had picked up on the clues wrong. Were they even clues or were they simply Mark’s wishful thinking? It chewed on Mark all weekend.

Mark, who had attempted to get in contact with Jinyoung in every possible way. Jinyoung, who had somehow found a way to run away from Mark every chance he got. With each hour passing by, Mark began to panic. What if Jinyoung had suddenly changed his mind? What if Mark had suddenly changed his mind as well?

Upon asking himself, Mark knew the answer right away. He had feelings for Jinyoung. And he wanted to date him. And he wanted the whole world to know that he wanted to date him.

It was early Monday that Mark’s world changed.

Mark had knocked at the Park residence, ready to walk to school with Jinyoung as usual. Mr. Park answered the door looking slightly disheveled.

“Mark, my boy!” Mr. Park greeted, giving his head a quick ruffle. Mark immediately fixed his hair to its usual look.

“Is Jinyoung ready?” Mark asked avidly, jumping up in an attempt to get a peek inside the house.

“Jinyoung just woke up actually,” Mr. Park sighed. “That boy... I’ll probably be giving him a ride to school today, so I suggest you start walking or you might be late as well!”

Mark nodded dejectedly. Why couldn’t he just spend a minute with Jinyoung so he could tell him how he felt? Mark grumbled as he made his way to school, the velvet box with matching necklaces feeling like a burden in his backpack all of a sudden.

When he finally reached the school grounds, he made a beeline for his locker. He was taking his precious time organizing it when he finally heard his voice.

“Hey, Mark,” Jinyoung said embarrassedly, one hand on his neck. Mark shrieked a little before enveloping him in the tightest hug. He felt nauseous at the fact that he hadn't seen Jinyoung or heard from him for two whole days. Never mind the fact that they were in a little argument, Mark was simply happy that Jinyoung was even here at all.

Jinyoung received the hug stiffly, as if he hadn’t expected Mark to do it all of a sudden. But as the seconds ticked by, he s his arms around Mark’s torso and allowed himself to return the hug just as tightly and as warmly as it was given.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you the last two days,” Jinyoung apologized into Mark’s neck. “I needed to cool my head and gather my thoughts.”

“No, it’s okay,” Mark sighed into him. “I’m just glad that you’re here and talking to me and hugging me.”

Mark laughed. He could cry right now from how good it felt to be in Jinyoung's arms.

“I missed you a lot, Jinyoungie.” Mark admitted before pulling back and taking Jinyoung by the cheeks. “And I have news!”

“Me too,” Jinyoung said carefully, though whatever his news was, it definitely didn’t seem to excite him the way Mark’s news did himself. “Uhm. You should go first.”

Mark smiled and breathed out. He took one of Jinyoung’s hand while he rummaged through his backpack. He had his hands on the box when-

“Hey, babe.”

Mark looked up to see Im Jaebum. He was about to ask him kindly to leave them for a moment, before-

“Oh, hey, babe,” Jinyoung answered guiltily, eyes flickering to Mark for a quick second. Jaebum gave Jinyoung a quick peck on the lips in front of Mark, and Mark’s mood immediately shattered. Funny how much one single moment could ruin a person’s whole day.

The funny thing about surprises was that they didn’t always go the way you wanted them to. Surely, there were times when they were successful, and the person on the receiving end of it got an adrenaline rush and provided a genuinely ecstatic reaction. But more often than not, it led to unforeseen, yet not entirely unexpected, disaster.

Sadly, this was one disaster Mark did not know how to get himself out of.

***

When Jaebum finally leaves, Mark makes his way towards Jinyoung’s door. He knocks on his door lightly, gifts for his parents clutched in his other hand.

From behind the door, Mark can hear Jinyoung’s voice.

“Did you forget s-”He stops when he realizes that it’s Mark on the doorstep. “Mark! I thought you said you would text when you came over again?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” Mark laughs meekly. “Though my surprises never really turn out to be all that good.”

Mark coughs, nerves tingly. “Was that Jaebum I just saw?”

Jinyoung stutters. “Yeah, he uh, he usually visits me around this time of the year to see how I’m doing. Because of the thing with my parents and all. Did you, uhm, did you want to come in?”

“Only if you have hot chocolate.” Mark giggles.

“Deal.”

Jinyoung prepares two mugs in the kitchen, and Mark, after placing the bag of gifts down, follows him. He clears his throat.

“Hey, so uhm,” Mark begins unsurely. “You and Jaebum… Are you still?”

Jinyoung coughs. “Ah, no. We’re, uhm, we’re just really good friends. That’s all. We’re not dating anymore. Or anything.”

Jinyoung is breathing heavily. And as if to make sure that his point has gotten across, Jinyoung adds more. "He's happily dating someone right now. Three years come February actually. I'm glad for him."

“And you’re, uh,” Mark continues, getting closer to Jinyoung. “You’re not dating anyone?”

Jinyoung simply his lips and looks at Mark the way Mark has always wanted. Like being apart physically hurt and all that matters was Mark, and Jinyoung, and Mark and Jinyoung together. Like the only people in the world are the two of them. Like he wants Mark more than he's ever wanted anything in his life.

“No, not since,” Jinyoung shakes his head. And there’s that feeling creeping up Mark’s neck, like something big is about to happen. And Mark wants to just let it occur, has been wanting this moment since he can remember. Mark steps even closer, so close that he can feel the warmth radiating off of Jinyoung. “Not since you left.”

Mark breathes out, bringing up his hand to Jinyoung’s cheek. Jinyoung closes his eyes, like he’s trying to memorize this moment. Mark swipes his thumb, the boy’s face feeling warm despite how chilly the winter has been to them.

“Can I kiss you?” Mark asks softly.

Jinyoung nods.

And they do.