A short one-shot I started off on a bad day and finished on a good day.

It was supposed to be angsty and have a sad ending, but people voted for a happy ending so here you go ~ 

Loving Someone

Baekhyun was being forgotten.

It was his inevitable reality, an occurrence he had been dealing with since birth, but it had all started to get worse. Worse than when he had been a little boy. Much, much worse than it had been in years.

Whereas before, where someone would have forgotten him after an extended period of not having seen him or not having heard from him, now it was only a matter of days or a few weeks at most, before someone would no longer recognise him.

Baekhyun had first noticed the change about two months before, when he had been back at the university’s library for the first time in over two weeks. Before the autumn break, he had been a regular visitor, coming there every day to sit and study for his thesis, using the books around him for research.

And because he had been a regular, the lady behind the desk had gotten to know him a little. She had been curious about what he was doing there so often and had come over to chat with him from time to time. She knew his name and what he was working on, or so she had, until Baekhyun had returned after the break to find her ignoring him from the moment he entered.

She didn’t greet Baekhyun as he came in, the way she would have done before, nor did she come around to sit with him once it went quiet in the library.

At first it hadn’t really made him think much, he had thought maybe she was busy with work now that Christmas was coming up and a large portion of students were trying to make their deadlines.

He figured maybe she wasn’t supposed to talk to students as much, maybe someone had told her to not be so involved with him, but then she had walked up to his table and snatched away the book he had been reading with a mumbled, “kids these days, always leaving everything lying around,” and Baekhyun had realised he had been wrong about it all.

It was at that point too that it became clear to him that people weren’t just forgetting him much sooner, they were forgetting him permanently. It was as if he had disappeared into thin air, because when he had opened his mouth to tell her he was still reading it and that he’d put it away later, she hadn’t replied at all. She hadn’t even looked at him.

Before, when people would forgot Baekhyun, they’d just have to be introduced to him again. It would often go like this: he would go up to someone he knew and start talking the way he usually would have done, and they would see him and say something along the lines of, “sorry, do I know you?” That’s how he would know they had forgotten and that he’d have to start over with them.

Over the course of his life Baekhyun had needed to rebuild relationships so often that he was used to it now. Introducing himself had become such a common thing it was almost routine. With teachers, who would think he was a new student joining the school after the summer break. Or with his doctor or dentist, and sometimes even with older friends.

It could be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing if he had gotten off on the wrong foot with someone, for it meant he had a chance to fix everything, but a curse too, for even the best of friends that he had enjoyed being with, forgot about him ever having existed eventually.

He knew there were probably plenty of pictures out there that no longer held his smiling face the way they had done when they had first been taken. Because when people forgot him, every trace of his existence would be wiped away from their lives as well.

Whatever curse had been put on Baekhyun, it was an inexplicable one. Not even his parents had known what was happening to him. Not that they had never taken him seriously…

Instead of listening to him, they had sent him to therapy to deal with his ed up thoughts, until Baekhyun had gotten tired of it all and had run, making them forget him too. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, leave, but he no longer regretted it now.

Because for Baekhyun it was better to be alone, to not depend on anyone but himself. For the longest time he had been living on his own, working a part time job and studying full-time, trying to make it all work somehow. Away from family with only his best friend to keep him sane. Or, well, sane…

Chanyeol could be as much of a weirdo as him, which meant that really neither of them was that sane, but hey. They fit each other well, and Baekhyun had never needed anyone else in his life. As long as he had Chanyeol with his crazy grin and stupid jokes, he’d be just fine.

They had met at work, at the restaurant Baekhyun still worked at, through the unfortunate accident of a spilled drink.

Chanyeol hadn’t worked there for long at all when it happened, and really, his first night should have been an indicator of how badly he’d do at the job, because after spilling a cocktail on Baekhyun only five minutes after meeting him, he had dropped a full plate of drinks and slipped on the spilled liquid.

They had worked a mere three shifts together before Chanyeol had been fired, but by then they had already sworn to be best friends. It had been that simple, and it had felt good in a way that Baekhyun had never felt before in his life.

Before Chanyeol, Baekhyun had been wary of friendships, even superficial ones. The chances of his friends forgetting him one day were so vast that he often stopped things before they went anywhere, but when he had met Chanyeol none of that had been on his mind. He had only wanted to get closer to him, to talk hour after hour about the most stupid stuff. And they had.

Two months later they had decided to rent a place together, enjoying each other’s company enough to do something that reckless. But even then, it had been kind of a necessity too, considering how neither of them had had a whole lot to spend. That had been his excuse, but to this day, it was the best decision Baekhyun had ever made.

It was the reason why he, once stepping out of the library, had run home and spent the rest of the night curled up against Chanyeol’s side while the taller kept trying to pry and find out what was wrong with him.

Baekhyun hadn’t said a thing, too scared that if he’d open his mouth he would either spill everything or end up bawling his eyes out and neither of those were things he had wanted to do in that moment. All he wanted was to forget.

Things were changing, and Baekhyun was trying to stop himself from thinking, but he was scared less. He didn’t want it to continue and get worse, he wanted to freeze time and not have to worry about it all for once. The idea that one day Chanyeol could forget him and everything they had been through, it was his worst nightmare, and he couldn’t help but think it was about to come true.

From that momet on, Baekhyun had started skipping classes only so he could be around Chanyeol more often, making sure there was never too much time in between when they last saw each other. He wasn’t going to take risks, no matter how pathetic Chanyeol would think he was for being so clingy. There was no way in hell he’d allow this to happen.

It wasn’t even that Baekhyun was scared of what would happen to him if everyone who had ever known him were to forgot him – because with how close they were Chanyeol would surely be the last. It was the fact that he’d have to miss Chanyeol’s presence in his life. What hurt him the most was the knowledge that he’d get to keep their memories while Chanyeol would lose them.

No matter whether he’d end up alone, having to try and become friends with Chanyeol a second time, or whether he’d disappear into thin air, both options meant that his best friend was no longer by his side and that he would no longer remember how good they were together. How no one could ever come close to what they had.

Because Baekhyun loved him, he loved Chanyeol so much, but he couldn’t do anything about it. The fear of ruining things, creating space between them either for a short break or a complete break up of their friendship, the risks those brought were too big.

More space or more time were undesirable, and so Baekhyun would rather be friends for the rest of his life than try and pursue something more. Baekhyun’s heart would break if he were to ever lose him, and he’d never recover from it. So keeping their already fragile friendship from going any further was necessary to keep himself from falling apart in the future. A future which, he reminded himself, he didn’t have a say in whatsoever.

Yet whenever Chanyeol would initiate a hug or would make Baekhyun cuddle up to him, he wouldn’t object. He let it happen, in fact he welcomed it. He knew that made him a hypocrite, but up until now Baekhyun had managed to make himself blissfully unaware of that. And it wasn’t like he was going to refuse Chanyeol, especially not now, on Christmas Eve.

“Jeez, where the hell did your mind take you?” Chanyeol’s voice broke through the bubble of thoughts in his head, quiet laughter from his chest helping Baekhyun shake out of it.

He sat up, backing away from Chanyeol’s embrace enough to take in what was going on. The movie they had been watching was no longer playing, instead showing Netflix’s home screen, the bowl of popcorn between them was empty, and Chanyeol had this funny smile on his face while he watched Baekhyun puzzle the pieces together. "Wait, why did you stop the movie?”

Chanyeol raised an eyebrow and the smile only grew, going lopsided, “eh, Baek, I didn’t stop it, it finished. We even watched the entire end credits but you were completely zoning out. That’s why I’m asking ‘where did your mind take you’, because it seemed like you were really out of it.”

Baekhyun felt heat crawl up to his face, blossoming in his cheeks with the embarrassment he felt. He had really gotten lost in a maze of his thoughts, hadn’t he? To the point where even Chanyeol had noticed.

“It’s nothing,” he shook it off and forced a smile on his face, straightening himself completely and shying away from Chanyeol as if that would help, “just a little tired from all the extra shifts I’ve taken up the past week.”

Chanyeol hummed and reached out to circle Baekhyun’s wrist with his thumb and index finger, something he often did to grab the smaller’s attention, and Baekhyun turned his way on instinct, his body reacting to the touch before his mind could stop him.

His best friend’s eyes were soft, but there was no mistake he was looking right through Baekhyun’s bull, “Baek, it’s Christmas eve, can you please not lie to me?” Even though it was meant to be soft and inviting, the tone of Chanyeol’s question was a pressing one.

All it did was make Baekhyun close in on himself. His lips pursed together and his mind was thinking of running away, even though he couldn’t. He was trapped there by the hold Chanyeol had on him, even though it wasn’t physically holding him back in any way. It was the emotional tie he meant, the emotional hold he couldn’t break if he tried.

“Is it your parents? Do you miss them because it’s the holidays? Or is it a money thing? You said you took up extra shifts, so, is it?” Chanyeol asked, sounding so caring and warm, the way he always was, that Baekhyun instantly found himself with tears in his eyes as his mind reminded him of the thoughts he had just had, of what was happening to him.

The fingers around his wrist were burning him, making him think of all the things he would come to miss the day he’d be forgotten, and as Chanyeol whispered his name again Baekhyun couldn’t stop the tears from falling any longer. They spilled from his eyes, rolling down his cheeks treacherously, and of course his friend noticed them too.

“Hey, no, no crying on Christmas Eve, what is going on? Talk to me, Baek,” Chanyeol wrapped him up in his arms, tugging him closer than before, and Baekhyun hated how it only made his heart ache more. To feel Chanyeol’s hands on his back, to hear him whisper in his ear, all it made him think of was how much he was going to wish to get this back one day.

“No,” he stuttered when Chanyeol tried to pull back so he could force Baekhyun to look at him, because more than not wanting to talk, he didn’t want to lose the feeling of warmth he felt in that very moment, “it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Chanyeol was so patient with him, allowing Baekhyun to sort out his thoughts before giving his answer, but even then the smaller didn’t know how to word it. It wasn’t like he was going to try and actually explain the entire situation, because what if Chanyeol would call him a freak and kick him out of the house, like his parents had done?

But he could word it differently, make it sound less like a thing he was sure would happen and more like something he worried about. Something other people could worry about too, in a way.

“I- I’m just having stupid thoughts,” he whispered, “I don’t want to have them, but I do. You won’t like them…” he warned Chanyeol first, hoping maybe if he did the other would let it be, but of course he’d have to be even sweeter than before and press a kiss to Baekhyun’s head while saying, “try me.”

So Baekhyun sighed, closing his eyes and pressing his nose into Chanyeol’s shirt once more before he uttered the words, knowing this would only bring on an entire conversation about how he shouldn’t be thinking this, “I’m scared you- that you’ll forget me one day. The way everyone forgets me, when I really don’t want to be forgotten. Not by you.”

“What? That’s ridiculous,” Chanyeol answered, now actually pushing Baekhyun away from him so he could stare at him with angry and confused eyes, “how dare you even think such a thing? I could never forget about you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun shrunk, his shoulders hunching in on themselves, and he really wanted to scream that he would, that it was out of his hands, but he couldn’t because that meant he’d have to explain everything and he simply couldn’t go down that road.

“Yes, you can, everyone can,” Baekhyun started summing up, “my childhood best friend, my dog, my parents, the lady at the library, should I continue?” he felt his emotions getting the best of him again as he was reminded of how all of that had hurt.

But Chanyeol stayed unfazed, taking Baekhyun’s hand in his a little better, linking their fingers together too, “well, that may all be true, but I am not your dog and I am not the lady at the library. I’m Chanyeol, and that changes things.”

“It doesn’t,” Baekhyun threw back immediately, not even a breath in between, and Chanyeol shook his head while sighing loudly. The sound made Baekhyun feel like an that was just trying to get attention, someone who wouldn’t believe his best friend’s words, only because he knew better.

“Yes it does,” Chanyeol told him, using his free hand to boop the smaller’s nose, “because your parents had issues if they could push their own son aside, and childhood friendships fade, it just happens. The lady at the library I’m not even getting started on, because hello? I’m your best friend, I’m your roommate and I-“

He stopped then, catching his own words before they came out. Baekhyun wondered what he would have said, what his actual thoughts had been because what he rephrased clearly wasn’t what he had originally wanted to say, “quite frankly I’m offended that you really think I could ever forget you.”

“Trust me, it will happen, okay? Sooner or later it will, you-“ “wait, is this why you’ve been acting so clingy, too? Have you been having these thoughts for a while now? Baek…” he trailed off, sounding sad as his own thoughts brought him back to all the times Baekhyun had been sad lately.

“No, that’s not okay,” Chanyeol whined, making his face scrunch up in an ugly way, “I could have made you stop thinking this days ago? Why didn’t you just tell me, you idiot?” his lips ended in a pout, his eyebrows furrowed together, and Baekhyun felt laughter bubble in his chest.

He held it back, swallowed it down, and instead he turned away from the taller so he wouldn’t have to look at him any longer, “no, you don’t understand… It wouldn’t have made a difference. There are no words to make me believe you. Sure, you’re not a dog or- or the lady from the library, but family… everyone. Everyone forgets me eventually, and so will you.”

“Bull to the ing ,” the softness was gone from Chanyeol’s voice, replaced by a more persistent tone that told Baekhyun he was about to receive an entire rant about this, “you can’t tell me what to do. I will not forget you, end of argument.”

Baekhyun went quiet, expecting more to follow, but it was silent for so long he thought maybe he was wrong. That Chanyeol had been serious about getting him to shut up. But he should know Chanyeol better than that, he should have known his friend was only trying to find the right words and practicing them in his head before allowing them to leave his head.

“I know for a fact that I won’t forget you, because how could I, when you’re always there with me?” Chanyeol asked with a voice so soft Baekhyun had to strain his ears to listen, “how could I when you’re curled up against me half the time we’re together. When you write me stupid notes and send me ugly selfies when we’re both at work. How could I?”

Baekhyun swallowed, hearing how much those things meant to Chanyeol, the same way they meant a lot to him.

“I can’t forget you when you’re right in front of me, can I? How can I not remember your name when I think it a million times a day? How can I not remember your laugh when I only have to close my eyes to hear it? I even dream of you, you haunt me even there, so how? Baekhyun, how?”

“Chanyeol-“ there had been a change in the mood, Baekhyun could feel it from the way the hold on his hand had tightened. The despair leaked into his words, making Chanyeol sound like it was too much for him to talk about. And maybe it was, in the same way it was too much for Baekhyun to listen to, “you can’t be saying those things…”

“Why not, Baekhyun? Why can’t I? Because I’m the only one?” Chanyeol replied, unrelenting, “I know that already. I know you don’t close your eyes at night and imagine I just gave you a goodnight kiss and I know you don’t need this confession right now, but please, let me finish.”

Wait, what? Confession?

“You can say a lot of things about me. You can say I’m lazy, that I’m clumsy and that I don’t always understand what people are trying to say to me, but you can’t say I’m a bad friend. You can’t say I don’t care when in fact I care too much,” Chanyeol poured his entire heart out, “and you can’t tell me I will forget you when I love you so much you haunt me every moment of every day. You’ve stolen my heart and now you say I will forget you ever did?”

“Chanyeol-“ Baekhyun’s heart was in his throat, beating out of his chest as he tried to think rationally rather than throw all caution to the wind, but Chanyeol was having none of it, “no! Baekhyun, you’re being stupid. People come and go all the time but hell, I love you, and as long as I love you, I want you right beside me. So stop it. Stop those bad thoughts, because it’s not going to happen, I won’t allow it.”

It was incredible, the way Chanyeol had actually managed to make Baekhyun believe him, his previous doubts now melting like snow in the sun. Maybe it was reckless of him to believe it, maybe it wasn’t, but Baekhyun figured that he had two options: He could believe him and make this work, the way his heart longed to, or he could be a sob story until the moment Chanyeol would actually have enough of him and leave.

He knew which of those two he wanted least.

“Okay,” he nodded then, having made up his mind. It was Christmas, whatever, he would consider this his Christmas wish, “I’ll stop it, I will… under one condition.”

The question marks in Chanyeol’s eyes were cute and they made Baekhyun smile, the first proper smile he may have shown all night, and he reached up to let his thumb brush Chanyeol’s cheekbone, “that you believe me when I say you are actually not the only one. Okay, no wait, that means there’s two conditions…”

He frowned at himself, but Chanyeol didn’t laugh, he was waiting patiently, “so the first is to believe me when I say that you’re not alone in this, because I love you too. I do.”

“And the second is that, to show you that, I need you to kiss me. If you agree to these conditions then I promise I will-.“ Lips cut him off, swallowing the last words of his sentence and taking his breath along with it.

Chanyeol’s hand let go of his immediately, but it didn’t go far. He only used it to pull the smaller into his embrace again, one arm around him as the other settled on Baekhyun’s neck.

They kissed like that, soft and too full of emotions that had overwhelmed them within such a short time. Still it felt exactly right that way, because nothing with them had ever taken long. And so it didn’t come as a surprise when Chanyeol pulled him in his lap, wanting him closer, and neither was it a surprise for the taller when Baekhyun breathlessly asked him for more, lips at his ear. More kisses, more love, just more. More of what they already were and more of what they could become.

Chanyeol gave without asking why, he gave because he wanted it too, and Baekhyun couldn’t stop praying for what Chanyeol had said to be true. That, to prevent this from happening, all he had to do was stay. That the taller’s feelings for him were enough to remember him, if not forever then at least for a very long time.

He sent it out as his Christmas wish while Chanyeol pushed up his shirt and kissed his stomach, the two of them having made it to Baekhyun’s bed. He wished for it again as he felt skin against his own, so reassuring and warm, and when he closed his eyes and heard Chanyeol whisper, “merry Christmas, Baek,” he thought maybe it was time to let go.

Maybe it was time to stay.