It was going to be completely fine, or that's what Seungwan kept telling herself.

Her fingers drummed impatiently as she watched the water begin to bubble and boil while her other hand gripped the packet of uncooked spaghetti. If she stopped tapping away, she would have to resort to tuning into Joy's malicious cackles as she screeched at Yeri and Seulgi who were failing to work together to put up the fairy lights around the living room. Even though Joy's height was much more suited to the level the fairy lights had to be at. 

It was endearing. Really, it was. The tapping of her fingers, Joy's loud laugh, Yeri's whining, and Seulgi's ruckus managed to distract Seungwan's mind from the unfortunate and distressing reality that made her stomach churn and the insides twist up into a ball of unpleasant feelings. And this bizarre reality was that Joohyun had been missing for most of the day.

On any other day, that would have been perfectly fine, she thought, just why was it today?

Joohyun often had a tight schedule with her countless projects, and the four girls always encouraged her through them. But this time, Seungwan couldn't keep herself from chewing her bottom lip in worry. The four of them had not heard a word from Joohyun since early this morning and it was now 4:27 pm in the afternoon. In fact, when Seungwan last saw her, the former had sleepily been pouring cereal at 7 am, messy hair, bare face and all, before the latter strode out of her room, acknowledged Seungwan's presence with an awkward tight-lipped smile, and said she would be back before dinner, before disappearing out the front door before Seungwan could even say 'good morning'. What was she supposed to make out of that?

Things have been busy recently with their comeback and even busier for Joohyun when she had personal projects, but this dinner was a tradition that happened every year for Christmas. Joohyun was even the pioneer of the tradition, going on and on passionately about how they were a family and families should spend time with each other on a special holiday. But where was Joohyun on this special day? Seungwan wondered, definitely not in the dorm and spending time with them like she had insisted.

And if there was one other thing the Seungwan could declare with a hundred percent certainty was that Bae Joohyun could not and would not stand the cold. And for goodness sake, it was snowing outside! It was December and Joohyun was notorious for staying inside their dorm whenever she could during the winter months, so it stumped Seungwan even further that she would even think of heading out.

Her teeth began gnawing against her nail as everything started running wild in her mind. Had Joohyun finally decided she had enough with the group? Had she gotten tired of their lack of contribution to the chores around the house? Or worse yet, did the four of them make it seem like they didn't need her anymore so she decided to le-

"Unnie." Seungwan jolted and snapped her head to the sound of the voice.

Joy was standing at the open doorway to the kitchen with furrowed eyebrows and an almost apologetic smile. Her arms uncrossed from her chest as she made her way towards the frowning unnie. Seungwan's eyes looked ready to pop out of their sockets if she opened them any wider. Joy let out a laugh in the form of an apology for unintentionally scaring the older girl and Seungwan rolled her eyes in response and poured the spaghetti in the boiling water.

"Seulgi and Yerim got tangled in the fairy lights so I walked away from them before they could ask for help," Joy explained, eyes twinkling mischieviously. "Was I interrupting an extremely profound thought you had, unnie?" she quipped, "your eyes became the size of dinner plates!"

Joy knew Wendy quite well. She was expecting a response that came along the lines of 'yah, Sooyoung-ah! I was scared out of my wits!' or 'Sooyoung-ah, you're definitely not going to get any pasta with that attitude', but neither was delivered. Seungwan simply sighed and put the lid over the pot. Okay, now Joy was confused. Seungwan grumbled something too quiet for her to hear as her smaller unnie's hands busied itself with stirring the pasta sauce in the other pot. Joy's eyebrow raised in curiosity as she continued to observe. Something had to be bothering her for her to act so jittery and strange.

"Alright, unnie, spill," Joy frowned and leaned on the counter next to Wendy whose hand twitched before continuing her stirring.

"Spill what? I was just lost in thought, that's all." Joy groaned. The signs were obvious. The only times Seungwan was like this was when something, or someone in this case, was out of the norm. Why was her unnie so obvious?

"Unnie, it has to do with Joohyun-unnie being gone right now, isn't it?" She watched as Seungwan's stance faltered and jaw clenched at the mention of Joohyun's name. Bingo, Joy smirked, and continued with the most amount of honesty she could muster. "Are you worried that she won't be home for dinner? 'Cause if that's the case, you shouldn't be worried. Joohyun-unnie suggested this whole celebration in the first place all those years ago, she's not someone who would mis-"

"No, Sooyoung, it's not that," Wendy interjected firmly. She put down the ladle and fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve, eyes doing anything but looking at Sooyoung. "That's not really what has me bothered. Well, not entirely at least." A range of emotions washed over Wendy's face, one after another. From defensiveness, to worry, to something she couldn't quite place, and then to nervousness. Joy raised an eyebrow in response. Seungwan had never been one to talk about things that actually bothered her, but Sooyoung knew Joohyun had always helped with that. Problem is, Joohyun wasn't here at the moment.

"Well," Seungwan mumbled and she found a loose string to pick at from her white sweater. "I guess, it's kinda that, like, well, it's more that I, uh, I don't really know how to put this," Seungwan trailed off defeatedly. Joy knew where this conversation was going and she knew Seungwan, being the timid girl she was, was going to back away from talking about it at any moment. 

She has a soft spot for her unnie, not only because she was her number one fan, but because Seungwan had always been there to comfort her when she was insecure about how her body, her singing, or her dancing never felt good enough. She would always engulf her in a hug and tell her how it was okay and she was perfect the way s