I am at the right place right? 
I am not just driving into someone else's workplace, right?

You literally have the map open -_-
 

What if Minho refuses to recognise me?!
OMO  HUBBY YOU BETTER NOT DO THAT!
What if...what if I find him cheating?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
ONONONONO You better not do that either!
I brought all kinds of weapons :)
You think I should send him a telepathic message that I am armed?! 

Why not :D That's totally possible! What a genius. 

>< Omg I know!! Thank you. 

-_- I hope he doesn't recognise you. 
I hope you find that girl from the baby section laying on his lap–

I am soooo sacrificing his to lord satan if I find that out :D 
I'll even dance to lucifer while he lays in the middle of the candles! 

You talk of satan as if he's your aunt's son.
Reality check, you are satan. >:)

I am an angel :( 

If you're an angel, what's a devil like? 0.0
Anyways...

Ugh shut up! 
I heard it the first time -_-

I was about to drive in when this STUPID BALD CRACKHEAD SLID INTO THE PARKING SLOT I CHOSE LIKE HE WAS SLIDING INTO SOMEONE'S DMS. 

That's because you were coming from the wrong direction? :)
??

"You pinatahead! Get out of my way!" I fumed but the man, the bald alien, has the audacity to laugh! 

My husband works here, wait till I get you kicked out! 

"Ma'am you were coming from the wrong way. Your loss." He continues laughing while he locks his car and casually walks out. 

HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
BALD AND BLIND! 
DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY .
I BET IT'S PROBABLY BIGGER THAN YOURS. 
WAIT TILL I USE THAT SHINee HEAD AS A DRUM! 
YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE THAT JAPANESE FOIL-BALL WHICH WAS A BIG TREND THIS YEAR!
BET YOUR WIFE USES YOUR HEAD AS A MIRROR >:D

Are those, God forbid, insults? 

I am a savage :)

I bet your non-existent baby would come up with better ones.

But really though, what's with people mistaking me as a girl?
Am I really that beautiful????? >< 

I dumped my head onto the steering wheel to hide the blush from the ghosts there and the very same moment, my car honks!
I jerk up, startled and I can HEAR CHOI FREAKING MINHO LAUGHING AT ME. 

He's not even here...

I hear that shrill, cute, screechy laugh of his!
Wait why am I here??
Oh!
👉👈 
I just have to tell him I kinda burnt his suit for the dinner tonight while ironing.
👉👈 
Handsome Stupid idiot is not even picking up his phone! 
Bet he's busy some .
What
He's a cat-person! Dirty minded nut-crackers 

Mrs.Choi asked to do it for you, but no you wanted to do it for your hubby~!

sHUT UP.
Ok now, where will I find him???
What does he even do in this large building?? 
Omomomomomomomo. 
I see so many girls!!
Are there no guys here????
OH I SEE!
THIS is why he is always in a hurry to get here! 

Breathe-in.Breathe-out. 

I marched to the reception and right away, I see this lady with maroon nailpolish talking on phone.
Girls with maroon nailpolish are a bad sign! 

Said who? ._.

My hoe-detector! 

Did you just assume– 

"Um excuse me. I want to meet Choi frea–Minho. I want to meet Choi Minho," I gave my best grin and she nods in my direction and continues with talking into the goddamn phone. 

Must.not.get.angry. 

"Excuse me. It's urgent." Aaaaaaand she nods again and even smiles this time! Flirting won't work on me huh! I am only Choi freaking Minho's.
I raise my eyebrows at her, returning the smile with a much creepier one of my own.

LET THE POWER OF SATAN POSSESS ME, FOR, THIS WOMAN–

"Sir, can you wait. He's......................" And whatever was she saying next just faded into my ears because.............did you all hear read that?!?!?

She called me 'Sir' >< 
S i r. 
S i r e. 

??? Are you not a S i r then ???

She didn't say ma'am!!!!!!!!!! 😍
Maybe I was straight this whole time!!
Maybe she's my princess, the love of my life, my sugar-plum, my humpty-dumpty.

You're married :) ??? To Choi 'freaking' Minho??
And he's your prince-charming??
And you're two-timing in your head??

"Um...Sir?" Why is she waving at me, did she read my head?? And wants to marry me now??

No.
I am sorry ><
Choi freaking Minho has booked me for this life *Hyperventilating*
Maybe next life?? 

"Sir, you can take a seat, it's going to take a while." 

"How long?" 

Please don't say an hour. I didn't even bring my phone to play candy-crush or subway surfer or nova or mobile legends or–

"An hour. It's on the 7th floor, his room." 

............
And that moment, he knew, he ed up. 
Ehm. I mean, that moment, I knew, he ed up. 
I'LL MAKE HIM PAY FOR THIS HOUR WASTED ON HIM! 

I slouchily walked to an elevator and the moment it ding-ed open, I see these 2 people drift apart out of breath with their formal attires disheveled and wrinkly. 

Must.turn.away. 

Why are you blushing?!?! 

Shut up! >< 

I tred to hide my face while I slip in as they scurry off shamelessly giggling. What kind of dating-site is this?!?!?! 

Meh.
Now, how do I look? 

I leaned into the mirror-ish inner of the elevator and corrected my bangs. I am wearing a winter hat for some reason?? And wait. 

Why am I red. Not the florid red, the unflattering red!
As if Choi freaking Minho spent 3 hours 23 minutes pulling my cheeks and nose! 
God, I should ask him if he did that when I was sleeping. 
Omg what if he says yes????
>< 
That's cute.

No. 0.0 That's ing creepy. Of you to think so. 

Despite the wintery clothes, I look so hot!
I can totally kill with my looks!
Wait. 
What if Choi freaking Minho couldn't handle my hotness and asks me to undress so he could bend me over and–

Shut up!
Choi freaking Minho was about to enter! 

Are you imagining him ing you, that's new :D

.....
N O.
Ehm. YOU MADE ME THINK SO.
Ok I should really get off now. 
This elevator's dirty-minded ghost is making me think irrelevant things. 👀 

Yeah sure -_-

I slumped down on a teal couch and bobbed my head around to find anything of interest but the only thing I am greeted with is glassy walls and weird people staring at me and smiling and pointing!

What are they pointing at??

"You're Mrs.Choi, right?" One lady in a waaaay too revealing one-piece for this chilly winter strolls closer with a knowing smirk. 

HUH?!?!?!?!?!?
Do I look that old??? Do they actually think I am Choi freaking Minho's mother?!?!?! 
But his uncle said I look at least 5 years younger than him >< WAS HE LYING!!?

.....Don't you think it's the other 'Mrs'.  Choi Minho???? :D Choi Taemin????? :D

Ohhhh. 
That's right :^) I am Mrs. Choi Taemin. 
Wait. NO.
I am a MISTER. 

"Sir is in a meeting right now." She smiled and all jealousy aside, she has a very pretty smile! 

God, I can't allow Choi freaking Minho anywhere near her! She screams danger >< 

Dangeeeeeeer. Oneul bame oneul bame oneul bame oneul bame. 

"And, you're.....?" 

"Oh, pardon my rudeness. I am Yuri. His personal assistant." 

Personal assistant.
P e r s o n a l assistant. 
What does he need a personal assistant for when I am there?!?!?!?!?!?! 

You are his personal wife. :D 
God knows what other personals he has! 

"I attended your wedding!" Yuri informed and I just stood there blinking because I don't remember?!?!? 
Maybe it was the makeup? Heh. Maybe. 
WAIT. 
She attended our wedding?!?! I didn't invite her! 
Could it be that Choi freaking Minho invited her?!?!?! 
Cheater! >< 

???? He invited all his colleagues ??? 

I hate you :( 
Why are you after other girls when I am so beautiful that people mistake me for a girl?!?! 
Wait no. 
I don't care :)

I scoffed, crossing my arms around my chest and Ms.Hoeri looks like I insulted her entire ancestory!

Gah, why is she exaggerating little things? 
She is dating Choi freaking Minho, c o n f i r m e d!
That is why she is looking at me with those imma-kill-you-for-marrying-my-man looks! 
Uh-oh. I feel sick. 
Stomach-san, this is not the time to be upset! 
I get it, you're upset over Choi freaking Minho cheating on me but don't –
. 

Must.find.washroom.

I gathered myself and rushed around with a hand clasped over my mouth. 

Your stomach isn't upset -_- 
It may be something else :^) 

Ugh! Where is the stupid washroom!? 
Omomomomomo what do I do??? >< 

"Sir, you alright?" I raised my pinky dumbly, as if the hand over my mouth will definitely not contradict with what I am saying and pleaded with my eyes. 
Maybe this pole-looking guy is dumb enough to let it pass??? 
My prayers got answered when he nods and asks me to tail behind him and within a matter of seconds, I am emptying last night's In-N-Out in the toilet. 

I knew it!
I told Choi freaking Minho that Wendy's will curse us but he did not listen! >< 
Why didn't he throw up? I have been throwing up since morning :( 
Does that mean, my stomach is weak from the betrayal?? 
Maybe it knew Choi freaking Minho was going to cheat on me? 
Awww T.T 

That's the dumbest thing you've said so far. 
Just when I thought you couldn't be dumber, you proved me wrong :D  

I heaved out a long sigh and walked back to the basins. Jokes aside, this place is so expensive looking! I reach for the faucet but immediately halt because there is no faucet?!?!?! How do I wash my hands?? Hello!

It looks so fAnCy. 
But maybe it's just a show-washroom? Like you can't use it. 
Omo that pole-man tricked me >< 
Wait. 
But that toilet flushed...
......
I DIDN'T FLUSH IT.
How did it flush itself 0.0 

There is this word, I don't know if you've ever heard of it but. 
T e c h n o l o g y? 

Is there a ghost in this washroom????? A ghost for a keeper??? 

I unconsciously reach my hand below the tap and WATER RUSHED OUT. 
Oh.
It is the automatic system. 
Dumb me. 

Ok. How many minutes have passed??
As Mrs. Choi Taemin, I do not need permission to see him!
I can see him anytime I want. That's right! 

I marched forth and read the tags on the tinted glass of the rooms and..
AHA! Choi Minho! CEO. 
Wait, he's a CEO????? 
Omg, sooo intelligent ><
That's why he is so full of himself! 

He is full of himself at least. 
You were so full of him that night :^) 

Asfghjkl! 
Stupid brain, always exposing me thinking of irrelevant things! 

Reaching out, I can almost see a shadow rushing to me but I payed no heed to it and pushed the glass-door open. 

Why are there 3 rusty, crusty, grey-haired men sitting before him?? 
Why are they staring at me as if I have grown a tail??
WHY IS ONE OF THEM CHECKING ME OUT? I instinctively clutched my coat and raised my chin. TAKE THAT, SAGGY BALLS. I AM ONLY THIS COMPANY'S CEO'S. 

"Taemin...what...." There! My dumb hubby  looks horror-struck. 

Hey, that's rude! I look hot today, why is he staring at me like that?? Wasn't he supposed to lose himself and bend me over??
What!
He's even wiggling his eyebrows for me to get-the-hell-out but I did not throw up to get-the-hell-out! 

I make myself at home on an empty swivel-chair before him, beside one of the grey-haired men and grinned. 

"Hi!" 

"Mrs. Choi, you're- Uh, sorry sir, he just barged in...." Ms.Hoeri entered and looked all apologetic, but Choi freaking Minho looks mad at her!

He's definitely not mad at you :) 

He can't be. I am waaaaaaaay cuter than her! 
So I turn my attention back on him and tap my feet for him to be done with her so I could tell him the reason behind my pleasant surprise!

I don't think he's pleasantly surprised though? 

"Um excuse me." He was saying to the old trio of saggy balls and rose from his spot. 

Omg he is soooo tall. ><
Must.not.drool. 

And he jerked me up from my seat and dragged me out of the room. 

Hey, that grip hurts :(  

When we are out and in this random balcony, that's when it hits me!

He wanted to be alone with me! >< 
Omg is this the part where he bends me over and..

"Why are you here??" Choi freaking Minho asked urgently. 

...
Hello??
This is not what I imagined! 

"We need to go to a mall A S A P." His face contorted in a mixture of pure confusion and horror as I beamed innocently. "I kind of....burnt your suit for the dinner tonight...." I murmured, fumbling with the lining of my coat. "It caught fire! I do not know how it happened! I promise I did not mean to." I pouted and for a moment there, I feel like someone paused him. Maybe he was secretly doing the mannequin challenge??

But that's so last year! 

"Is mom okay??" 

.....
Instead of asking me if I am okay!
He is going to ask if his mom is okay?!?!
But I was ironing it, not her! 

"Is the house okay? Did you call the firetruck?" 

Ok so I see why he chose you. He himself is a dumb. 
Very much alike. 

I crossed my arms and tilted my head away. 

I.am.sulking! 

"I have other suits. It isn't some world crisis for you to come rushing from home." He deadpanned and I puff my cheeks at that!

Has he seen his other suits??
They are so last month! 
We better buy something which will make him look like he is married to me, and not my slave! 
And he said it was his favourite suit too so... :(
Although, I do not despise the idea of being his slave ><

"That one was your favourite!" 

"Wait. You burnt that one?!" 

Hehe. 
Must.smile.cheekily.

"So, let's go~!" I grabbed his arm but it's as if someone has planted him to the spot. C o n f i r m e d pole!

"I am in a meeting," said he, sounding more like he was questioning me than telling me. 

His tone screams 'I am in a meeting, you '. 

No. 
He will never call me dumb. 
He is a gentleman <3
He knows he is my slave!

No, he probably knows the moment he calls you that forbidden word, his would be getting pooped out my piranhas. 

No, I am an angel. D:

O.O

"So what? I can wait :D" I twinkled but when he looked like he was hesitating, I widened the grin and even raised my eyebrows.

:D ?

"You'll stay quiet and wait." 

"I'll stay wait and quiet." I repeat after him as we walk back to his office but he grabs my hand and frowns. 

What now! 

"You'll not say anything no matter what. And won't move around in the office." I nodded. Who does he think I am?? A 2 y.o??? 

Probably younger. 

I plopped down on the swivel-chair and he stopped halfway through sitting back on his and signalled me to get-up?? I raised my eyebrows at him, what does he want???
The very same moment, another old man walks in from a room in the office and stops, too, and looks at me...or the chair. So I am sitting on his chair???? 

Baby?!?!?! You want me to stand on my delicate legs??? 

I whipped my head to a side only to witness the trio staring 0.0 at me, so I rose sluggishly and even made a face at the man! I see Choi freaking Minho facepalming.

He should know he upsetted me! 
Wait.
Does Choi freaking Minho want me to sit on his lap???
>< 

"Where are you coming?" He questioned, horrified when I reached his spot. 

"You want me to sit on your lap right?" And for some reason, these quadriple saggy balls are tittering into their hands and Choi freaking Minho is giving them a sorry smile??? 

Are you sorry for marrying me?? T.T 
So you don't love me -_-
But I love you TT

"Your wife is adorable." HAH! You heard that Cho freaking Minho?! Then why are you still smiling all guilty??? 

"Taemin, could you sit on that couch?" 

you, Choi!
You are my slave, not the other way round! 

Instead of paying heed to his ogling eyes, I began exploring his office. If he did not want me to sit on his lap then I should tell him that I don't take no orders from a certain Choi :) 

Now what do we have here.
Why does he have a globe on his desk??? 
Maybe he is thinking of taking me for a world tour!!!!! >< And tonight he would be asking me for my permission???? ///_///

Why are you imagining him on his knees with the globe extended to you? 

Shut up.

I tried to spin it but it toppled over....I promptly drew back and smiled clumsily because Choi freaking Minho is throwing me a distasteful look! And Mister Quadriple saggy balls are laughing! 

"Your wife's interesting." One of them said and I must not let it faze me because I am not Choi freaking Minho and I don't retort flirtious remarks with a seductive bite of my lips!

Minho doesn't do that 0.0 

It won't take him long to do so! 

Oh! What do these files say??
Surplus amount??
Bar graph??
Tally sheet???? 
What are these alien words! So boring~ 

I tried to shove the bright blue file back in the pile but somehow, they were all on the floor..........???
How did they get there??? 

You were dumping them down on the floor :) ??

.....
Um. 

I look over towards Choi freaking Minho's side and he looks like his soul has left the chat! Once again, Quadriple saggy balls are chuckling and...getting up?

God, finally!
The meeting is over. Phew.
Guess what that means?? 
IT'S SHOPPING TIME :D 

"Mr.Choi, we'll continue some other day. Seems like your wife knows how to keep your eyes on himself." 

HEH????!?!?!?!?!? 
So, they are leaving because of me?? 
....
Wait.
What did the patchy saggy balls say??
That Choi freaking Minho's eyes were on me the whole time?? ><

That's because you kept messing with his things -_-
And your side of his office looks like some hurriance attacked the shelves!

Uh-oh. 
Brain-senpai is right! D: 
How did that happen??? 

When they left, Minho turned to me with a dead face and I almost dropped his phone midway through checking it!
I grinned bashfully. 

What?
Don't look at me like that!
I'll ask you when you'll become a wife! You must always keep your husband in check! 
You must make sure he isn't doing drugs!
Or girls!

I saw him walking over to me and dammit! He gives me no space to skedaddle! His looks aren't too promising.
He looks dead and done with me >< 

I instinctively close my eyes to get the scolding...that never came. 

And Choi freaking Minho has the audacity to hug my head and almost slip my winter hat off!
Why is he shaking???
Omomomo is he scared??? BUT WHAT IS HE SCARED OF?
Is the washroom-ghost here 0.0 
But before I could pat his back and tell him to calm down and that I am here, although I was scared too >< 
I hear his same shrill, cute, stupid laugh.

Oh God, he has actually gone insane. 
 
"What have you done to me?" 

0.0 
What did I do- 

"You are so evil in a clueless way that I can't help but find you cute." 

>< 
>< 
><
><
><
><

Ok, they got it the first time. You are feeling shy -_- 

"You're not mad?" I ascend my head up and blink at his chuckling face. He just shook his head and took my cheeks between his index and thumb, pulling at it. 

Knew it!
He must have been doing it for 3 hours 23 minutes straight! Hmph!

"Really? Not even about the suit I burnt?" He stilled for a second. 

"About that...You'll have to pay for that." 

"How??" I heard the door slide open but I turned a deaf ear to it, for, Choi freaking Minho is drawing closer and his intentions are looking bad! >< But I must not be rude! When he was about a mm away, being the sharp-eyed ghoul that I am, I caught sight of a flying speck of dust about to land on Choi freaking Minho's ear and I dash for it. 

You can't touch my dumb hubby man! 

"Sir this f–" 

I craned my neck back to the source of the Hoeri-ish sound, having successfully blown the speck away and WHAT DO I SEE?!?!?! 

CHOI FREAKING MINHO IS KISSING HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANT!!
I even didn't strike through the 'my' before the man and you're going to hurt me like this?!?!!? 

I saw him pulling away promptly, as if he could sense something wrong and then ignoring the flabbergasted assistant, turned to look at me. 

"When did you get there?!?!" 

These acts will not fool me, Choi freaking Minho!! 

"CHOI FREAKING MINHO, I WILL KILL YOU!" I fumed, storming off with the cheater in tow. 

I hate Choi Minho!
Because he is so forgiving a cheater! ><

 
[ A/N ] I know I know, where's the part where he meets his UB or finds out he is pregnant??? Well you see, It's a fic, as illogical as it is, it's still one so I tried to link it with the suggestions you guys gave and this one was the only way to begin it! 
So here is how it goes. They leave for the mall and that's where they meet the UB and Taemin goes insane and that might be in Minho's POV. I'll still drop hints to him that he's pregnant and after that chapter or so, he'll find it out and blablabla. Ok wow I basically told everything :) 

So, what was your favourite part of the chapter?? It's a long one! Don't forget to drop a comment ;)