P a i n

"우리 헤어지자 (Let's break up.)"

One sentence three words.

You left me alone.

You, who made me laugh, smile, proud is now leaving me.

And I...

and I...

           was left alone, all alone.

All alone to mend my heart.

All alone to suffer.

All alone to see you happy.

All alone to cry.

All alone.

I can still remember it, we met at han river at midnight of July 15 it was during our promotion of 'Red Flavor', I happily went to you, happily hugged you, telling you how much I missed you. I was happily telling you what happened during our fan signing event, telling you what Sooyoungie and Yerim did to me and played a prank to me again, I was telling you this fan who came in wearing a cute dress. I was telling you that another fan gave me a cute teddy bear and it reminded me of you.

Until those words slipped through your beautiful lips.

I really do not know if I heard it right, so I asked you again. You took a deep breath and looked at me in the eye, "미안해. 우리 헤어지자 (I'm sorry. Let's break up.)"

I just stood there, thinking what you meant, looking at you I thought you were just kidding so I laughed it off, but you were so serious that you were not even laughing.

"Why? Did I talk too much? O-or did my breath stink? Or do you hate me talking about my fans?" I was now looking at you with all seriousness. "Seulgi, hajima." I still did not listen to you and still insisted on talking about my flaws, "I-is it about me? Did I perhaps bored you? Or, or, did, did you find some-" I was frantic and my breathe was already heavy, I was already teary eyed, then you shouted at me. "Hajimalago Seulgi!" I immediately stopped, shocked, my tears suddenly poured out of my eyes, "Why!? Why are you breaking up with me!? Give me a reason!" I waited for your answer, but nothing came out of your beautiful lips, "Tell me! Don't just tell me let's break up! Why!?" With our argument getting heating up, you took a deep breath agitated and irritated already, "Do you want to know? Do you really want to know?" you looked at me intensely, "나는 너를 더 이상 사랑하지 않아  (I don't love you anymore.)" As soon as you said those words my heart which has been aching so badly, felt like it was breaking into pieces.

"You are lying! You!" I pointed at him while still crying, "Stop lying to me!" I started punching your chest, desperately wishing and hoping that you are lying, "Stop lying Jimin! Stop lying!" You just stood still while receiving my punches with your head down, "Jimin, why? Please... Don't do this to me." I don't care if I look like a mess already, I don't care if I look like a crazy person, I don't care a damn thing anymore!   

You caught my hands and looked at me in the eye, "Geumanhae Seulgi, we are through! How many times should I tell you! Let's stop this." You let go of my hands and turned away, I hugged you preventing you to go, "Jimin... Please... Hajima... Please... Let's fix this." I was clinging to you, clingin to you as if I am going to die letting you walk away, away from my life. But you still broke free from my hug, as you walked away from me,it felt as if you took my heart in my chest then you literally crushed it with your hands. Without any strength left, I just sat and cried while watching you walk away from me, every step, breaking my heart, wishing that this was just a nightmare. Wishing that everything was just a joke. Because right now it feels like the world is throwing a prank to me.

I heard a shuffling beside me for a while I thought you came back to me, telling me that it is just a prank, that you were just joking, that you were testing me. But no, it was the Red velvet members who came for me at that time, they hugged me, they were trying to comfort me. Our manager even went there, instead of getting angry at me, she pat me on the back telling me 'Gwaenchana, let it all out'.

While we are on our way back to the dorm, everything that you told me replayed in my head, "미안해. 나는 너를 더 이상 사랑하지 않아. 우리 헤어지자 (I'm sorry. I don't love you anymore.  Let's break up.)", that made me realize no matter how pretty a person's lips is, a cruel word or sentence could be created out of it. Tears uncontrollably pouring out of my eyes, lips trembling preventing for a sound to come out, mind bothered by unexpected shock, and heart, slowly but surely breaking into pieces. 

No matter how many hardships we faced, the time will always come for us when we need to break up. No matter how many years we've been, no matter how many times we stayed quiet during the times when our fans suspected us of dating, no matter how many memories we have built together, no matter how many time we spent together. No matter how much we loved each other...

In the end, we would still break.

Through all of those promises, all of those secret glances and touches we shared, you still gave up on us.

When in fact, you were the one who told me you will never ever leave me.

I feel so empty without you.

I feel like a person dancing on my own.

I feel like a bird, who's wings were cut.

I feel like an empty doll.

I feel like a toy thrown away by its owner.

I feel like nothing.

When we entered the dorm no one asked me what happened, they just hugged me, they tried so hard to make me smile and laugh. But I just can't, I left them in the living room then went to my room, since Wendy is my roommate she followed me. She tried to coax me to tell her what happened, that they were surprised when you called her and told her that I was in han river alone. They asked you why but you ended the call.

I cried once again, the freshness of the wound, the pain, and the memory, it all flashed back to me.

"He said we should break up. H-he told me that, h-he doesn't l-love me anymore." More tears escaped my eyes as those words rang inside my head. "Wendy," I looked at her and she hugged me, "he said he doesn't love me anymore. I tried so hard... I tried to tell me that... that it was just a lie... I was waiting for him to tell me that it was just a joke..." I kept on crying, "Hush. Let it all out Seulgi." Wendy kept on patting my back until I unknowingly fell asleep, while in Wendy's arms.

Wendy

While Seulgi-bear was telling me what that Park Jimin told her, Joy, Irene and Yeri were actually listening, it hurts to see that our bear is crying not because of laughing but because of that punk! 

After all of those promises he made to us, "I promise! I won't hurt Seulgi." Tch, words words words.

Aigoo.

That Park Jimin hurting our bear!

When I settled Seulgi on her bed I noticed that she was still crying and was murmuring that punk's name. Sigh, no matter how much you got hurt you still talk about him in your dreams. That punk must be taught a lesson!

When I looked at them their eyes were also burning with anger, oh boy, if looks could kill and thoughts could kill, that punk would be dead. When we went back to the living room we were discussing on what to do with Seulgi's broken heart, and about the punk.

Yeri was calling somebody, hoooo it must be her "friend" in a certain group, a certain group called BTS.

I shook my head, oh dear, another person who is possibly whipped.

I am going to plead and pray that Yerimie will not end up broken hearted like Seulgi.

"Bou!?" I almost jumped out of the sofa when Yeri shouted and looked so angry while staring at her phone. She looked so irritated and angry, "Wae? What happened Yeri?" Irene-unnie asked her, she then let us take a look on the article.

[HOT!] Netizens Speculate Jimin(BTS) and Jeongyeon(Twice) are Dating!

     Love and Hate relationship which can be seen from these two members of a known idol group are now being seen by Netizens as a cover up to confuse people that they are not dating when in fact, they are! With the recent videos that resurfaced in a known site, Naver, showing how they react to each other. It has been the most searched term and has become a hot topic among netizens. Some of them are even telling that they are dating while some are telling them that they broke up in bad terms that is why that is happening. For you guys to judge it on your own you can watch the video below:

(Y'all need to use your imagination in here hhohohohohooh I meant no harm to those who loves Twice, but this is a needed way for me to make this story more ya' know. SO DO NOT GO AND SPREAD THE WORD THAT I DRAGGED JEONGYEON'S NAME FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Nope nope nope. As an avid Seulmin fan I am discouraged by it, that is why my inspiration got more fired up because of that issue. But I am still a Seulmin shipper ^^)

I read the comments. I mean, I should not believe in anything but watching the video made me uncomfortable, the way he looked at Seul, that was the way he was looking at Jeongyeon of Twice.

[+201,-23] ****ws

           kkkkk. I knew it. They are dating.

[+123,-38] ***aw

           Pfft. Delulu, they ain't dating, or maybe they are ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[+20,0] *****hsaj

        Shipping it! ♥‿♥

[+55,-2] *******bass

        Woah woah woah! I never knew this! Let me see more!

[+238,-22] ***sd

          Lol, everyone keeps on pushing this through. But they do look so cute together though.

[+3,0] i***kjd

       o(╥﹏╥)o

[+321,-81] ******waer

           Why am I shipping this? Hmmmmmmmm. But damn, I still ship any idols to anyone who looks cute together. Btw, I ship red velvet with bts and now this arrived I am having doubts.

[+123,-23] ****kjdh

           Lol, other shippers are gonna die after looking at this! They really do have a chemistry!

[+231,-67] ****e

          (●´ω｀●) Fanfic! Fanfic!

Sigh, all of them are also sure that there is something going on between them.

"But if Seulgi knows about this..." Irene-unnie started, "It would break her more."

We all looked at each other thinking for other solutions to solve this, "We cannot let her see this, Wendy-unnie make sure that Seulgi-unnie will not read anything regarding this issue, we should confirm this first to the person itself or from a member from BTS." Joy said while reading the article again, I think she is searching for more articles connected to it. "Okay, then Yerim-ah, since you are close to Jungkook why don't you ask him? He might know someting about it." Irene-unnie suggested to Yeri.

"But, unnie," Yeri hesitated for a bit but nonetheless agreed, "I'll try." While Yeri is trying to contact Jungkook I went back to the room and checked on Seulgi who's sleeping.

"Unnie," Yeri immediately caught our attention, so I went back to the living room, she was looking grim while holding her phone. This is not a good sign. Our heart already sunked before we could hear it from Yeri. "Jungkook said that Jimin-oppa opened up to them and said that he..." she sighed deeply, "He said that he doesn't feel anything for Seulgi-unnie and that his feelings were directed to Jeongyeon. I just don't know how people's feelings could change that fast."

"Did he really just confirm everything? I mean." Joy was already fuming.

I heard the door just close, when I looked back I saw the door of our room opened.

Oh no.

This is bad.

I immediately stood up and went to the room.

"Seulgi-ah." I called out for Seulgi just to see that she is not in the room.

"Unnie! Seulgi heard our conversation!" I shouted and tried to contact Seulgi through her phone, "What?" Yeri also went to the room and saw that it was empty. Ottoke! Ottoke! Seulgi!

I heard her phone ring in the room and saw that she left it on the table.

"We need to find her! She left her phone!"

Seulgi-ah, where did you go?

Seulgi

I woke up and saw that Wendy is not here, I heard their voices in the living room when I was on the door I heard Yeri, "Jungkook said that Jimin-oppa opened up to them and said that he..." she sighed deeply, "He said that he doesn't feel anything for Seulgi-unnie and that his feelings were directed to Jeongyeon. I just don't know how people's feelings could change that fast."

What?

Jimin and Jeongyeon?

Ahh, that must be it. That's right I don't deserve him anymore. He is unfit to be with me. That's right he is suited for a top girl group. I laughed silently, mocking myself.

This must be a joke.

I got my wallet and wore a white hoodie and a mask.

I need to be alone.

I want to be alone.

This is just a joke, right?

I went out of the dorm quietly and ran. Ran away as far as I could, not minding the people I am bumping.

Not minding the rain.

This is not a movie or a drama, but why? Why is this happening to me? I became an idol like our dream together.

Jimin. We became a known idol. This is our dream together. But why?

Did you really love me? 

Ah that's right. You don't love me anymore.

I kept on running not knowing where my feet will take me.

I just realized that I am in front of their company.

I just laughed, "Hah, what kind of sick joke am I playing?" Why am I even here? He won't be here, he won't look for me, he doesn't care about me anymore.

I took a taxi going back to my hometown.

I don't care how much I spend.

I just need to see them, my parents and oppa.

Because right now, I don't even want to continue being an idol.

I don't even know anymore.

When I reached my destination I saw that the door was locked, that's right Seulgi, they are still sleeping, before I could turn around and go to another place the door opened and saw mother.

"Aigoo! Seulgi-ah! You surprised me! What are you doing there! Come inside." Mother hugged me and without any warning my tears started to flow. 

"Hm? Wae? Why is our princess crying? Did something happen? Huh?" 

"Eomma..." I just kept on crying and crying while being on her arms. 

I just kept repeating her name. Eomma just comforted me, it feels like she knows already but she kept quiet about it and just comforted me. "I really don't know anymore..." I started while crying, "Why? Did something happen?