Joohyun had never been the person to truly appreciate or even notice the little things in life.

Whenever someone advised her to find happiness in the smallest details, the everyday aspects of life, she would find herself unable to do so. As much as she tried, there was no happiness. No sense of reality. Her mind was constantly floating.

There was no skip of a heartbeat, nor butterflies or excitement. Just a stone at the bottom of her stomach, crushing any signs of life.

There had been rare occasions when she had felt some appreciation for life as it was. Her friends.

Sometimes, the sight of her two best friends had given her a feeling of security. That there were in fact two people who she felt safe with. Some kind of evidence that maybe, just maybe, not all hope was lost, and that she was not the spiritless person she thought herself to be.

Joohyun would never tell them though. Not only because she was probably the most unskilled person on the surface of earth in terms of expressing herself with words. But also, because she was afraid.

Afraid that once those words left , life would turn against her and prove her wrong. Convince her that perhaps it was all just a lie she had made up, and that in fact she would never be able to feel something. That the emotions she might have felt were just illusions, desperate wishes for something impossible.

Captured in desolation until the last grain of sand in the hourglass of her life would fall, and she would leave this world without ever having felt any genuine happiness, or just anything.

Because it seemed like as the seconds ticked by, Joohyun became more unresponsive. She was made of wet cement, slowly hardening. And she was afraid that if the cement broke, there would be nothing underneath it. Nothing left to save.

So, she would rather smile than fully express herself.

Smile at how Sooyoung teased Seungwan as the latter slapped the girl on her arm, obviously not amused at whatever the taller girl had come up with to tease her. As she did almost every single day.

“Joohyun, are you sure you want to share a room with a devil like this? Because I wouldn’t’’, Seungwan shivered at the thought.

Joohyun chuckled.

“I mean, since you are not coming with us I have no other choice, so…”

“Okay, now I’m offended. You guys are hurting my feelings”, Sooyoung frowned, dramatically putting a hand on her chest.

“Didn’t know you had those”, Seungwan smirked.

“That makes two of us”, Sooyoung shrugged.

“Three”, Joohyun says, lifting her hand.

Seungwan’s smirk turned into a gentle smile. She observed the two standing in front of her, as if she was trying to capture every detail, memorize every feature, for this would be their last goodbye.

“I’m really going to miss you guys… even with all the annoyance of the past 15 years…”, Seungwan shot a glance at Sooyoung.

“You’re welcome”, Sooyoung said, bowing in oh-so-much-gratitude.

“We are going to the same university. Besides, the dormitory is only 30 minutes away. We can easily meet up’’, Joohyun said, attempting to lift up the mood.

“I know, I know… it’s just…”, Seungwan bit her lip, her eyes shifting from the left to the right. “We have been neighbours for 15 years. We always walked together to school…’’

“Made some crazy memories’’, Sooyoung smiled at the thought.

Seungwan nodded, softly chuckling before continuing with a sigh.

“But now… it’s not going to be like that anymore… I’ll really miss it…”, she takes a step forward and pulls the two into an embrace. “You guys are growing up so fast, already moving out and stuff”

“Wan… I’m older than you…”, Joohyun couldn’t help but state, before quietly smiling.

“And I’m taller, so that makes me older in a way”, Sooyoung argued, earning a slap from Seungwan on the back of her head.

“Shut up”

“Ah, this is how I always imagined our goodbyes to be. How romantic!”

“Park Sooyoung...”

“Is that a tear I see?”

“Shush.”

“Awh, I didn’t know you loved us so much!”

“Not sure about you.”

“…….…… I know you know you love meeee.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“There is a thin line between love and hate.”

“She’s got a point.’’

“Joohyun. Please. Not you too…”

***

She quietly observed the building where they would be spending their days attempting to survive college life. A place she would pass by several years into the future, reflecting on her youth, floods of memories washing into the abandoned corners of her mind.

The uncertainty of what would play in her heart as she looked back to the past days of her student persona was enough for her surroundings to turn black and white, getting smaller until the last bit of light abandoned her, leaving her behind to be the victim of obscurity.

However, it seemed like her best friend would not let her fall that easily as she startled Joohyun by giving her a few slaps on her arm.

“Are you trying to give me bruises or something?”, Joohyun said as she caressed her tortured skin.

Sooyoung’s smile grew as she clapped excitedly.

“Hyunnie, can you believe that this is will be it?”, the taller girl clasped her hands together. “We are finally going to have a taste of college life and independence. Oh, we are going to meet lots of new people, go to fun college parties, make some crazy memories! I really can’t wait!”

A grimace appeared on Joohyun’s face upon hearing the words ‘new people’ and ‘college parties’.

“Yea, you lost me at ‘lots of new people’. I’ll be fine with just spending my days quietly at our dorm.”

Sooyoung raised one of her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips.

“Oh, come on Hyun… try to be a bit more excited! Do you really want to waste your days away like that?”

Joohyun bit her lip at the thought. She had often contemplated about the way she had been spending her life.

And the more she pondered, the more uneasy she felt.

However, whenever images of parties appeared in her brain, sweaty bodies, people whose rudeness increased under the consumption of alcohol, deafening music and blaring voices which made ears bleed and throats hurt, she felt her energy being drained and not one tiniest fraction of excitement.

But who was she kidding anyways? She hadn’t felt excited for a very long time, and it seemed like it would never happen again.

So why would she even try to change her way of living?

“I just… don’t feel like it. It’s not my kind of thing Sooyoung… you know that…”, she said, her voice smaller.  

She turned her gaze away from the taller girl as the latter’s eyes displayed a hint of worry.

“Joohyun, please just listen to me for a second”, Sooyoung gently grabbed the older girl’s shoulders and slightly squeezed them, asking for her attention.

Joohyun rubbed the back of her neck and sighed.

“Fine…”, her eyes met her friend’s.

“Do you really want to continue living like this? Missing all of these opportunities that, who knows, might actually help you out?”

“It’s just… I don’t think they will help… the idea of doing all of that already up my energy.”

“How do you know it won’t help if you don’t try it?”

“Because I feel like I’m a hopeless cause.”

Sooyoung frowned at her answer and Joohyun felt herself getting smaller.

“Hyun… yo-”

“Can we… stop talking about this?”, she asked, hoping the taller girl would notice the pleading look in her eyes.

Fortunately, she did.

“If you really want to then okay.”

“Thank you”, Joohyun said, letting out a breath of relief.

Sooyoung wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her gently.

“Just want to say that you are not a hopeless cause. I’m not giving up on you, even if you are the most stubborn woman on this planet. Which you are by the way.”

Before Joohyun could answer, the taller girl distanced herself and gave her a slap on her arm, causing the older girl to let out a pained sound.

“Now let’s go! I can’t wait to check out our rooms!”, Sooyoung squealed. She grabbed her luggage and ran away to the front door of the building.

Joohyun let out a small chuckle at the sight of her best friend behaving like a kid in the middle of a candy store, before quietly dragging herself and her luggage to the entrance.

***

“This. Is. The. Most. Comfortable. Bed. In. My. Life!”, Sooyoung said, letting out a satisfied sigh after jumping on her bed.

Joohyun tried her best to suppress a smile and threw one of the taller girl’s bags on top of her bed, attempting to catch her attention.

“Yah, Park Sooyoung! We just arrived here, and you’re already making a mess? Unbelievable…”

Her best friend, however, didn’t bother to react, and instead moved her arms and legs back and forth as if she was trying to make a snow angel on her bed.

Joohyun rolled her eyes and dragged her own luggage next to her own bed where she sat down on in order to take a better look at their bedroom.

The room was a bit small and yet somewhat cosy. Their beds were separated by two little nightstands in the middle. There was also one closet which they would have to share, though Joohyun was almost entirely sure Sooyoung would just dump her clothes on a chair instead of putting them in their supposed place.

The taller girl suddenly sat up straight on her bed and grabbed one of Joohyun’s wrists, disrupting her thoughts.

“Come on, let’s go”, she said as jumped off her bed.

Joohyun frowned and tried to free her wrist, which resulted in a few unsuccessful attempts as Sooyoung had an iron grip.

“What do you mean by that?”, she asked, her sceptical tone giving away her doubts.

“Why do you always look at me like I’m going to lead you straight to hell?”

“Because you usually do.”

“That’s not tr-”

“Remember when you wanted to go to the middle of an empty field just to find out if it was true that lightning struck people? Or when you ‘lent’ your parents’ car for a supposed ‘few minutes’ while having no driving license, only to crash against Seungwan’s parents’ car after three seconds of driving? Or when you wanted to skip class a few times to go to who-knows-where and, luckily, I was there to save you from being expelled for like one month? Or wh-”

“Okay! Okay… point taken… but that was a few years ago, I’ve become a different person now!”, Sooyoung protested.

“…sure…”, Joohyun replied, not sounding very convinced.

“I just want to take a look around the building. There is nothing wrong with that, right?”, Sooyoung waved her hands dramatically to emphasize her point. “Just to get familiar with our surroundings.”

The older girl bit her cheek, clearly not appreciating the idea.

“I don’t know… I’m pretty tired and I don’t really feel like walking around.”

“What if a fire breaks out and you die in vain because you didn’t know where to go, and your last thoughts would be: ‘oh, if I had only listened to my most beautiful, perfect and smartest best friend, Miss Park Sooyoung.’ Now, wouldn’t that be a bummer?’’

The older girl gave her a slap on her arm, letting out a chuckle.

“Fine, I’ll go with you. As long as we keep it nice and short.”

“Deal”, Sooyoung said, her famous grin growing on her face, as she pulled Joohyun by her wrist and led her out of their room into the people-filled hallway.

While the crowd made the taller girl feel excited, Joohyun couldn’t help but wish she was back in the quietness of her room. She lowered her gaze to the floor, only looking up for a few seconds here and there in order to remember enough details to find her way back.

The strong smell of coffee entered her nostrils and Joohyun felt herself grimacing at the smell. She looked up and observed the somewhat quiet coffeeshop.

Though she did appreciate the more peaceful atmosphere, her hatred for the liquid was far stronger.

“Out of all the places, you take me to a coffeeshop?”

“I need an energy boost. And besides”, Sooyoung pointed at the menu on the wall. “They also have hot chocolate. And we all know of your love for a cup of hot chocolate. Now come on. It’s my treat.”

Joohyun scoffed as she had no arguments left to throw out, earning a smirk from her best friend.

They joined the short line of people and soon it was their turn to order.

“Hi, what can I get for you?”, the barista behind the counter asked.

“One hot chocolate and…”, Sooyoung tapped her chin in thought. “And one Gingerbread Frappuccino please.”

“Would that be all?”

“Yep!”

Sooyoung handed him some money and told him to keep the change. Just as they were about to walk away from the line to a table nearby, a sudden voice halts their movements.

“Wow, you must really love the taste of sugar huh?”

 They both turned their heads, and Joohyun stole a quick glance at Sooyoung, whose confused frown got replaced by an amused smirk. She then observed the owner of the voice; a short-haired girl with big brown eyes and a playful smile on her face.

“In fact, I do. I’m impressed you guessed so.”

“It’s not hard to guess when you just ordered the definition of diabetes.”

Sooyoung let out a laugh.

“If it tastes good, I’m fine with it’’, she said as her gaze travelled over the girl. Joohyun almost looked away in embarrassment at her friend’s obvious flirty behaviour. “So, how about you? What do you prefer?”

The girl’s smile grew as her fingers gently tapped the counter.

“I prefer something… stronger”, she said, also letting her gaze travel over the taller girl before turning her head to the guy who patiently waited for her order. “Could I have a double espresso please?”

Sooyoung whistled. “Well, you weren’t lying when you said you liked something stronger.”

“I never lie”, the girl smirked. “It’s both a curse and a gift.”

“Good thing I’m a fan of honesty myself”, Sooyoung took a step closer, however she still kept a reasonable distance between them. “So, could I ask you for your name?”

“Yerim. Ki