The light streaming through Lisa's window is what had woken her up in the morning. Usually one of the members would have to wake her up, but it seemed she was awake before the others based on the sleeping Jisoo on the other side of the room.

Lisa pulled the blanket off of her and rolled out of the bed. She stretched and then made her way out of the room and downstairs to the living and kitchen area where it just so happened that Jennie was down there cooking. She was the best cook after all.

Lisa admired the way Jennie's face looked when she was concentrating on something. Her hair was put into a messy bun which looked super cute on her. Lisa almost slapped herself for having such thoughts about Jennie, but they were all true. Jennie was adorable.

Of course Lisa could never say these things out loud in fear of hers and Jennie's reputation. Not to mention that almost every second of their life is being recorded.

 Lisa has a fear of rejection. She doesn't only fear being rejected by Jennie, but also by her fanbase and the other members of Blackpink. What would they think if they knew she liked another girl? What would her company think? There's a no dating rule for idols, but what about dating someone in your own group? Would YG make Blackpink disband or make Lisa leave the group? 

"Lisa? What's wrong?" Jennie soft voice made Lisa realize she had been standing there staring at Jennie for the past few minutes. She awkwardly looked away from Jennie.

"I was just thinking. Sorry if I made you worry." 

"Oh okay. Well I made pancakes for every-"

"Jennie! Me and Chaeyoung are starving! Oh pancakes!" Jisoo yelled as she entered the kitchen with a sleepy Chaeyoung following close behind her. 

"Thank you unnie!" Chaeyoung bowed and took a plate of pancakes. Jisoo and Lisa did the same. 

They all sat at the large wooden table quietly eating their pancakes when Chaeyoung decided to speak up. "Unnie, you look pretty this morning." 

"Thank you Chaeyoung! You look very pretty this morning as well!" Jennie replied with that beautiful smile of hers. Lisa wanted to kiss those lips so bad. 

"So, today me and Jisoo were supposed to go out, but you two can come if you wish." Jennie suggested.

Lisa just blinked at her, but eventually denied her suggestion. "Sorry unnie, but I don't want to leave Lisa alone, so I'm going to have to deny as well. Maybe we can all go out some other time."

"Oh.." Jennie seemed a but disappointed, but smiled either way. "Well okay." 

Lisa's heart ached at the disapointed look Jennie made, but she really didn't want to go out with her. She was afraid that she would say or do something stupid and then accidently reveal her feelings. She didn't want to risk it. 

Jisoo and Jennie eventually left the table to get ready while Lisa stayed back at the table with a gloomy expression. She couldn't deny Jennie forever, she knew that. One day, someone is going to find out about her feelings for the older girl.

"Lisa? You look sad. What's wrong?" Chaeyoung said softly, putting a hand on Lisa's shoulder to comfort her. "You can tell me what's wrong. You've seemed different the past month."

"It's nothing. I've just been thinking about a lot of things lately. Please don't get involved. I don't want to bring you into my problems." 

Chaeyoung gave a sad smile. "Does it have to do with one of the members?"

Lisa's heart began to beat a little faster and she became slightly panicked at the suggestion. Could Chaeyoung tell that Lisa liked Jennie? "No. It's uhm.. I just miss my family. I haven't been able to visit them in a while is all."

"Oh I understand. I miss my family too. I just thought it had to do with us since you've been distant lately. Cheer up, Lisa" Chaeyoung patted her shoulder and left the kitchen.

Lisa sighed and rested her chin on her hand. She was glad that Chaeyoung didn't seem too suspicious about the whole ordeal. She left the kitchen table, pancakes finished, and went into the private room upstairs. She liked go up into that room to think. It was quiet. Perfect.

She sat on a bean bag and looked out the window at the pink neon lights on the building next door that read "All day in the pink." It was made specifically for the Blackpink house, but they were turned off since it was day time.

Lisa rested her arms on the window sill and her head on top of her arms. Next thing she knew, she was dozing off.

"Hey Lisa, wake up." whispered a soft voice in her ear. "Mmm.." She groaned and opened her eyes to see that she was not in the private room anymore. She also saw Jennie hovering above her. 

"Jennie unnie, what are you doing?" 

"I wanted to wake you up to spend time with you. You've been distant lately. I really miss having you around. I like you a lot." The older girl blushed.

Lisa could feel it again. Her heart was pounding in her chest. "What..?"

"I like you, Lisa. Like, more than friends. I miss you."

"Okay, I'm obviously dreaming."

Lisa closed her eyes and sighed. When she opened them again she saw the same neon lights -which were actually because it was now night time- and she was back in the private room. She could feel her eyes tearing up. Why couldn't the dream have been real? Jennie would never like her back and she knew it.

Lisa felt the familiar pain in her chest. She knew she would never get Jennie. She knew her feelings wouldn't just go away like she wanted them to. She couldn't tell anyone about her feelings either. She just wished she could say something to someone she knew would accept her. She needs some way to vent her feelings without the other members finding out or basically the whole world finding out.

"This is a real life nightmare."