nothing made sense

i exist wherever you are

Jihyo awoke to a familiar world, she heard Chaeyoung and Dahyun shouting from another room as Jeongyeon’s footsteps filled up the other space in their apartment.

 

She remained in bed before Chaeyoung burst into her room, an exasperated look while her hands flew around wildly.

 

“Were you the one who made that big mess in the living room?!”

 

Jihyo groaned loudly before throwing her blankets off her. She hid her shiver as her warm feet slid across freezing wood, and she reminded herself to beg Jeongyeon to replace the wood with carpet, or at least give her a rug.

 

“Because she’s up my about this mess that I didn’t even make. I was busy contemplating death last night, remember?!”

 

Jihyo’s head slowly turned to face the younger woman, she felt the morning sun shine on her slightly tinted skin yet the happiness of the morning sun hadn’t changed her mood in the slightest.

 

“If you were smarter, you would’ve gotten out of this hell hole while you had the chance. Welcome to hell Chae, you definitely won’t be enjoying your stay.”

 

Chaeyoung scowled at Jihyo, her lips forming the smallest of pout, causing a twinge of guilt to spring within her chest.

 

“Hey! Satan’s side hoe is in a ing mood today!”

 

And the guilt withered in her chest before it even had a chance to bloom.

 

“Jihyo’s always like that, I warned your not to bother her before ten.” Jeongyeon called back.

 

Chaeyoung glanced back at the older woman, slightly smirking before leaning on the doorframe.

 

“But did you make the mess?” she asked quietly.

 

“Dahyun did, I heard her spilling the cereal last night.” Jihyo replied with a straight face, pulling the toothbrush up to her lips.

 

Chaeyoung bumped her head against the doorframe, she groaned into the wood before speaking. “I ing knew she did.”

 

Jihyo only nodded in response and watched as she raced from her room and into the next, she chuckled as she heard something tumble from the other room and suddenly the incessant blares and chimes of an industrial sized vacuum cleaner overpowered their shouts.

 

And strangely, Jihyo never felt more at home.

 

But the shake that had vibrated from her phone seemed nothing in comparison to the other sounds in her apartment. Yet it seemed to dive out of the sea of other sounds, it grabbed her attention by its throat and claimed it as its own.

 

When’s your first class?

 

Around 2

 

Do you want to meet me at Gwanggyo station? I’m exploring Seoul, maybe you could help me

 

Jihyo eyed the large stacks of books and papers that were tucked neatly into the corner of her desk, had Jeongyeon not cleaned her room she was sure the papers would be scattered across her wooden desk. She sighed quietly, placing the phone down only to call for the older woman.

 

Jeongyeon’s head poked into her bathroom, the slightest look of concern bubbling within her irises. Her voice wavered as she spoke slowly.

 

“What’s up?”

 

She handed her phone to her, watching as Jeongyeon’s eyes narrowed and her eyebrows raised.

 

“Interesting, looks like Sana has a dream,” Jeongyeon said with a laugh, but she moved quickly out of the doorway as Jihyo’s hand swung forwards. “Wait! Wait, I was ing around.”

 

“This isn’t a joke, I haven’t hung out in anyone but you guys… In like ing years.” said Jihyo as she began to pace, she dropped her toothbrush onto the counter. She felt as if her chest was constricting but her heart and lungs were swelling, and it only resulted in a war between the two opposing forces, and she knew it could end with carnage.

 

Jeongyeon slinked into the bathroom, her eyes were obviously round with worry. She grabbed onto the younger woman, her hand tangled with Jihyo’s. A freezing coldness stabbed into her hands in the shape of shards, and she felt Jihyo tug on the warmth of her body, and she couldn’t help but let her yank her stability away.

 

She let out a shaky sigh, “You’ll be fine… You’re better at talking now, that old Jihyo is gone now,” she hesitated before speaking again, “You’re better, you know, you’ve- You’re good at talking now, that’s what I’m trying to say.”

 

Jihyo exhaled slowly, but the incessant feeling of anxiety had remained bonded to the inner layers of her lungs, and no matter how many times she breathed in and out. It stayed cemented to her veins and muscles, and they only continued to fester within the dark fissures of her lungs.

 

Jeongyeon placed a limp hand on her shoulder and shook it gently. “I can send one of the es with you. They don’t have classes till three today.”

 

Jihyo chuckled lightly, the silence between the two older women was quickly filled with quiet arguments from the younger pair. “No… They probably need to deal with whatever the happened between the two of them.”

 

The older woman dramatically rolled her eyes while nodding. “Only God knows what we did to deserve them.”

 

Jihyo’s eyebrow spiked, “I swear I heard the slightest amount of affection in that.”

 

Jeongyeon’s smiling face cracked into a frown, her nose crinkled in feigned disgust. But Jihyo knew how much the older woman had grown to care for the younger two. It was easy to tell because roommates don’t actively take frequent naps together, and even if the couch isn’t big enough for four people, Jeongyeon always made sure they all fit, and surprisingly they always did. She would slide into Jeongyeon’s arms while Chaeyoung would wrap around Jihyo’s waist with the grip of someone terrified of letting go while Dahyun always had Chaeyoung tucked safely under her chin.

 

And even if Jeongyeon tried to play off as the detached one, she was the one that slipped into Jihyo’s bed late night when her sleep paralysis had hit her particularly hard.

 

“You’re gonna be fine .” Jeongyeon muttered as she pulled her hand off Jihyo’s shoulder, letting it hang limply to her side.

 

She sighed. “Thanks for the encouragement .”

 

“No problem -face.” Jeongyeon shot back, Jihyo didn’t need to see her face to know that she probably had the biggest smirk and was probably holding back laughs.

 

Sure, I’ll meet you at 12

 

:)

 

It wasn’t long before Dahyun and Chaeyoung popped their heads into Jihyo’s room, knowing smirks on their face as they watched Jihyo lumber around in her room. She felt as if she was being stared down by two hyenas, their eyes slowly bouncing from one side of the room to the other following Jihyo’s paces with uncanny precision.

 

“I know you know.” Jihyo eventually blurted out, falling onto her beds with a huff.

 

“This is a big step, you can’t blame us for being excited.” Chaeyoung said with a smile.

 

“Yeah,” said Dahyun, popping out from Chaeyoung’s shadow, “It’s like watching our little baby grow up.”

 

Jihyo’s face dropped as she chased the younger two out of her room, swatting at their behinds as they scampered out. Only for her to see Jeongyeon’s smug face peak from her room.

   


 

Jihyo walked across the platform with Sana practically glued to her side, the older woman’s arm was wrapped tightly around her waist while her hand was sprawled across her stomach. Every little twitch of her finger sent shocks deep into Jihyo’s skin which only caused a fluttering feeling to float its way upwards.

 

Sana’s words came out of the blue, after searching through the endless shops in Seoul, which resulted in Sana buying some decorations for her house, the tiniest plant which originated from Japan, Jihyo thought it had no chance of surviving through the haries of Korea, but she didn’t have the heart to tell the enamoured woman that, so instead she smiled and told her it was cute.

 

“Are you going to the library today?” Sana asked her as she handed the cashier a few won.

 

“Yeah, my roommates and I are planning to study for finals together.” Jihyo replied with an innocent glance to the plant.

 

“Why don’t you invite your roommates over to my place? I’m studying for finals too, and you can meet my roommates.” Sana suggested with a grin that seemed innocent at first, but the way her voice strained made it seem as if she was begging.

 

Jihyo laughed, imagining Jeongyeon prancing around Sana’s imaginary house. “Are you sure? I have three other roommates.”

 

They walked out of the shop and were slapped with a freezing breeze, despite the hary of the wind, it brought a gentle red tint to their faces.

 

Sana’s eyes widened, “I only have two. Mina and Tzuyu.”

 

“I have Jeongyeon, Dahyun and Chaeyoung,” Jihyo said with an exhausted sigh, “Among the four of us, there’s a singular brain cell and Jeongyeon and I have to share it.”

 

That had sent Sana into a fit of laughter, her laugh was sweet sounding it contrasted the abrupt and loud sounds of cars honking and the harsh way Korean spilled from stranger’s lips. It was high pitched and innocent, it was nothing Jihyo was used to, and yet it was everything she had ever craved for.

 

“I really want to meet them, and Mina and Tzuyu need some friends. They just got here and they don’t talk much.” Sana explained as they walked down several streets and entered into a coffee shop.

 

“I’ll text them, but I feel like they’ll say yes anyways.”

 

Jihyo clicked on the groupchat and scrolled past a few captionless pictures of various messes throughout the apartment, the most recent being a rather clear picture of a bowl of cereal left on the counter but cereal had been spilled across the granite table.

 

Sana’s head had rested on Jihyo’s shoulder, the weight was uncomfortable at first, but Jihyo felt Sana’s cheek puff against hers as she smiled at the pictures, and suddenly the weight had faded from her concerns.

 

“She’s a clean freak.” Jihyo explained.

 

We’re hanging out at Sana’s house tonight, bring your books and stuff.

 

Jeongyeon replied first as usual.

 

Look who’s acting bossy…

 

What time does she want us?

 

7

 

Jihyo shut her phone off and tucked it into her pocket. “If she comes, they’ll be coming too.”

 

Sana nodded while ordering a coffee, a quiet coughing fit came from a lone man in the corner of the shop, his fit acted as a swoosh, a sea of people swarmed towards the center of the shop, they raised masks over their faces while some covered their children's’ mouths and noses. In a matter of seconds, the coffee shop had turned into a set piece for ‘Train to Busan’.

 

Jihyo groaned as she reached into her bag for a mask. “This whole outbreak is driving people mad.”

 

“They’re all worrying for nothing, it’ll stay in Busan.” Sana mumbled as she was handed two coffees.

 

Jihyo wanted to question her, every fragment of her scientific brain was racing. It made perfect sense for the disease to strike Seoul next, it would be just like the horror movies, everyone would flood into Seoul imagining safety within the stone walls and neon lights, but they had only sprinted into another pitch black city, not knowing they carried the disease and were destined to doom the entire population because they let themselves be drowned within ignorance and fear.

 

Instead she swallowed her curiosity for the first time in her life, it was odd to live without having her questions answered. For every thing she wondered about life, science always had an answer, it was what attracted her to the field in the first place.

 

Ignorance settled to the pit of her stomach like a solid rock, no matter how quickly she drank the coffee, she failed in attempting to make the burdensome stone float, she felt the stone crash into her intelligence and watched as years of endless pursuit of knowledge become meaningless shards.

 

Jihyo felt slender fingers trace across her skin, the quietest gasp spills from her lips and she prayed Sana didn’t hear her.

 

Every aspect of Sana seemed so wrong and yet so right, she acted as if she had lived in Seoul for years, as if her roots were planted in Seoul dirt, that she had been raised on Seoul sunshine and rain. She blended in smoothly into Korean society, her face managed to glow with the divine beauty of a thousand angels within Korea’s grey and stormy skies; something not even native Koreans knew how to do.

 
As a scientist at heart Jihyo had painfully rested many occurrences on Earth as mysteries, after months of endless research and loops, nights of reviewing data over and over again; as if her piercing eyes would be able to change impossible numbers into something that could at least be explained. She concluded that simply some moments could not be summed up by frigid and bitter number, some things were too far complex for the human mind to prod and explore into. But every fiber of her being fought against Sana’s predictions, there were too many spaces of absolutely nothing, dark voids in her theories where information should’ve calmly rested in. It drove her insane; yet Sana’s sweet smiles and comforting voice had lulled her inner scientist into a gentle sleep.

 

And for the first time Jihyo breathed without carrying the weight of the world in her lungs. Instead she let Sana consume her whole, she smiled as her laughs leap from her strawberry red lips and onto her slightly sunkissed skin. The hot air from her laugher trailed gently across her skin, sending a dulled ticklish feeling up and down her spine. She rubbed softly at the patches of pastel pink where Sana’s laughs had landed gracefully and allowed her words- her rickety, nonsense words to fill every crevice in her chest.

 

Nothing made sense.

 

Sana glanced upwards and gave her a sweet smile; her fingers inter-tangled with her's as she quietly hummed to a song that sounded beautiful, but was unknown to Jihyo.

 

But maybe it was meant to be that way. 

 



I'm gonna try to update at least once weekly, but who knows how that'll end up lmao. You guys will get more roommate interaction soon, and some foreign line interaction.

Hope you enjoyed and let me know what you guys think about Sana and Jihyo's relationship I'm curious ;).

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Thank you!
iiccarus
hey y'all, just wanted to let you guys know that comments and upvotes are always appreciated! :)

Comments

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ameanfizz
#1
Chapter 6: Ooff. Can it be jeonghyo only????? Aigooo
SanaCheeseKimbap_
#2
Chapter 5: oOF
Helpmepleaseohgod
#3
Chapter 5: Reread this to remember everything and holy I'm so glad because this is amazing.
Sana saving everyone from the library fire? Jeongyeon's whole mental breakdown? The banter? Solid, intriguing, entertaining as hell.
Excited to see where it goes:)
me_funky #4
Chapter 5: please update more..
GodGodGodJihyo
#5
Chapter 4: THIS IS SO GOOD!!! I like how Jihyo and Jeong act like DubChaeng’s parents huhuhuhu working overtime just to buy chaeng a ticket and dont even let me start talking about Sana’s character!
SanaCheeseKimbap_
#6
Chapter 4: Sana is so mysterious.....
SanaCheeseKimbap_
#7
Chapter 3: Ugh i wish i have roommates like them I’m so lonelyyy
SanaCheeseKimbap_
#8
Chapter 2: Yes i hope one day North Korea and South Korea will come together
neccar 146 streak #9
Chapter 2: JeongHyo banter is absolutely fantastic, I liked the start.
SanaCheeseKimbap_
#10
Update pleaseeee