December 02, 2018

19:45 PM Philippine Standard Time

Today, for the very first time, I was totally sure Kyungsoo is gone.

Or maybe, "taken away" is the proper term, I'm not sure either. But I'll tell you more about it later on.

For now, let me tell you more about Kyungsoo. There are many things about him no one knows about, things only a few people know, and things he show and doesn't show to everyone, including his personality, his traits or habits, even his true self. I guess we are all like that, right? We have things about ourselves that only us know, only a few chosen people know, and one where everyone knows.

Knowing Kyungsoo for a year and seven months, I've seen his different sides. He's not a secretive person! Just like what most people think about him. When you get to see and talk with him everyday, you'll actually realize sooner or later that he's easy to know. He's very approachable. He's easy to reach, easy to talk to, and can even make you laugh if he really likes you. He's also interested in several areas. Not just about cooking, or movies, even the different kinds of working out (yes, you read that right!), medicinal or herbal stuffs, health issues like the symptoms and how to cure them, various sports ("Watching only! Not playing it!" I'm only quoting here.), a good book about life, personalities, DIYs, general information, and of course, mangas, all of those will give sparks on his eyes. He's not just smart, but he's also interested and curious about almost everything. Maybe that's why he's also a person liked and adored by everyone. Whoever you are, or what you do, he won't judge you or lose interest in you just because yours doesn't fit him, he'll even want to know you better because of your indifferences. Plus he's really very respectful to everyone, a gentleman with good manners, indeed.

I can be proud and tell the whole world more about him, but I won't. I can go on for days, or weeks, maybe even months, and tell everything about how good of a person he is.

But if there is one thing I am proud to say, or something that I'm a hundred percent sure of? It's Kyungsoo's love for me.

"Love... I'm sorry, I'm not good with words. But only if we are together right now, I can show you and make you feel that I'm really sorry... 😔"

(Yes, he uses emojis! And yes, he isn't really good with words. Probably because of our language barrier and we're both not fluent with each other's native language, but Kyungsoo is expressive in his actions and how he is if you're with him. Sometimes, we don't even need words. We just need to be beside each other—in silence while holding hands.)

Kyungsoo can be loud, funny, and talkative whenever he wants to, but he's actually the type of man with a few words. Yes, that's true, but not entirely. He's a man with a gazillion opinions, thoughts, and ideas going around his head but he just doesn't say it. Perhaps not with someone he's not close with.

I would actually rather say I'm the "one who talks a lot" in our relationship. I'm the one who initiates a topic, or asks a random question, or just say anything what's on my mind. But in reality, it's the opposite. It's Kyungsoo.

Hi love. Good morning! Make sure to eat before you leave the house, okay? Take care. Send me a message as soon as you read this.

Hey baby! Done with our vocal practice. Did you know, while singing, I can see your face everytime I close my eyes.... and you're eating ice cream, gopchang, cheeseburger, jjajangmyeon, tteokbokki, and chicken! Whoa baby ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Hi again! Where are you now? Are you doing well there? Are you with someone? No... no. Don't answer that. You're alone again, aren't you? Ah~ I wish I can be there so you don't have to feel alone.

Yo babe, did you know? Min hyung borrowed my phone awhile ago, he said he's just going to call his friend but ahhhhh! Good thing I went back because he was sneaking over our photos together! 아아아아아아아아아아!!!!!!!!

Ah, also, I ate this gochujang beef stew awhile ago. It didn't taste good... The way it was cooked... it wasn't prepared well. Only if I was the cook of that restaurant... 😪

Baby, I just got a message from... Wait! Did you eat your dinner already? If you don't, you know what I'll do to you later...

Baby! I heard this song awhile ago! But I'm so sad... I don't know the title! I can't find it anywhereㅜㅜ I ing hate it!!! Arrrrrrrrggggggg ><

Hello? I'm eating gamjatang for dinmer right now. How about you? While eating, we were also watching a movie. Love, I also want to star in a movie like that. The plot is really interesting, I think it will suit me. Ah, but will a producer pick me?ㅜㅜ Kkkk~

Hello? Love? Are you busy? I'm busy kkk~ But nothing, I just missed you! Don't reply btw~ Manager-nim hyung's got my phone for atleast two hours. I'll get it back later after our dance rehearsals, okay? Don't miss me too much!

Ahh~ Hi baby~ We just got back in our dorm. I'm so tired and sleepy. There's one part on the routine that was hard. The choreo is easy, but the transition from... wait wait... oho~ is this real... why am I not receiving messages from you? I miss you, love. :(

And there were times he'll tell me how sleepy he is, and I'll tell him to go sleep already, but he just doesn't listen. Not at all.

Love, I feel so sleepy. 😴 But nope, you're not sleeping yet, so I'm staying up too. Anyway I'm still watching this series so it's okay, don't worry! Just imagine I'm right beside you, okay?

Being his girlfriend and an EXO-L, it would be unfair if I say I'm his best cheerleader, because there are many EXO-Ls out there who supports him and cheers for him in other ways I can't do. I give him all of me, that's for sure. But Kyungsoo? He gives more than what's enough. He doesn't settle for anything less than what he can do. If he can do something, he'll think of ways how to do or make it better. If Kyungsoo wants to make me smile, he'll make me laugh. If Kyungsoo wants me to take a rest already, he'll stop everything that he's doing and sleep with me. If I wanted to hear him sing, he just doesn't call me over the phone, he'll do it using video chat, and will sing me to sleep until I wake up in the morning seeing his face on the screen. Even when I'm always alone, or at times I feel so low, he flies secretly just to be with me. He's my cheerleader. He's my knight in shining armour. I may not be his number one fan, but he is for me.

But now he's gone.

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[ END DAY 02 | 21:38 PM ]