six degrees           

            Tree leaves dust the color of scorched earth, their blades wrinkling like larvae shedding their paper-like shells. Palms upturned to catch the falling autumnal debris, dried vegetation crunching noisily underfoot. Sounds of nature and movement bustling on the trail drum up peace of mind. Crisp, cool air passing through lungs.

            A perfectly preserved leaf falls onto the model's shoulder that he flips between his fingers before placing it between blanched sheets of his book. 

            With a few days to spare before his next schedule, Hyungwon took a breather down the outdoor trail a couple blocks from his shared apartment, where he'd stop to read an occasional mystery novel or thumb through judicial case studies. Even during his gap year, the model made sure to keep current on high profile cases that ran national headlines because the Bar often referenced them.

            Modelling wasn't his end-game.

            Most people travel and spend time with family or try to find themselves by trying out lots of things, but Hyungwon had already been there, done that before he turned 18 thanks to his family-run travel agency. Helping out after school, he picked up the basics of several languages, experienced different cultures, and networked with locals and foreigners alike, landing his first casting years ago.

            But while his looks enabled the opportunity, it wasn't his calling. 

            Looks were temporary. 

            A real job stood the test of time. Held stability. Dressed in a suit and tie.

            Life threw him bones like confetti. But others weren't so fortunate. Others experience injustice and pain and to remedy that, he once considered wearing a badge, but realized his strength and stamina would never pass the PAT, much less corner a sneaky perp. An articulate voice and well-connected background narrowed it down to prosecutor. The prospect of giving someone a second chance when no one else believed in them struck a chord like no other.

            Besides, modelling more like a hobby. One that constantly had him meeting new people and collecting a revolving wardrobe, whereas evaluating a long, convoluted series of human decisions into a demarcated black or white (and finding himself lost somewhere in the grey area) judgement kept the gears in his head turning constantly.

            Gears that were currently switched after his year-long deferred admission kicked in, requested as a result of burnout from the stress of consecutive months of research, study, exams, and interviews coupled with his father's then-admission into the hospital. With his dad back home and working, and his own health improving, Hyungwon stepped back in front of the camera.

            Finally had some down time yet still spent half of it working. 

            Taking a window seat inside his regular coffee shop, Hyungwon quietly sips his drink, scrolling through pictures on his phone, occasionally looking up to observe people pass by. Time passed mindlessly like that, and the model barely notices the young lady who seats herself across from him, extending a hand and smile.

            Meeting her gaze, he politely returns the favor with some quiet reservations.

            "Kim Yoonhee. From the broadcasting station across the street," she points out the window, and gets straight to the point. "Are you free next Friday?"

            Hyungwon furrows his brows in surprise. "Pardon? You're very pretty, but I'm not inter—"

            "High Cut magazine party," the brunette clarifies her invitation. "Would you like to be my plus-one?"

            The model mouths a soft ah and nods understandingly. "Um, how did you know—"

            "Saw you in a catalog the other day, and then I saw you sitting here and thought what a coincidence it was," she rests her chin on her hand, smiling brightly. "I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask... so, are you thinking about it?"

            "No need," Hyungwon shakes his head softly, lips upturned. "I'd love to."

            The young woman grins and passes her business card to him, thanking him before she leaves back to work.

            Two days later, Hyungwon wonders whose life he saved in a previous life to have such lucky stars align for him. It turns out that broadcaster Kim booked the model an appointment with a popular Seoul-based fashion house who agreed to tailor a custom-made outfit for Hyungwon to wear to the party.

            "You have such a good look," she praises him, to his embarrassment. "So I pulled some strings and just know you'll be on everyone's lips."

            "But why would—" you do that for me? Hyungwon wanted to say, but bites his tongue. "Thank you."

            "Oh you," Broadcaster Kim lightly presses his shoulder playfully.

            The pair walk in together and pose briefly for the cameras flashing near the entrance.

            "Hey, I see someone I need to interview later, I'll be right back—" Broadcaster Kim scores to other other side of the atrium, leaving Hyungwon by himself.

            Scanning the room, the model doesn't immediately recognize anyone's face and decides to walk around aimlessly, peeking through the exhibits and waving paper card samples of perfume in front of his nose. One of the citrus-scented notes tickle his nose, and a sudden hand over his should catches him mid-sneeze.

            "Am I seeing things?" A familiar voice comes from behind. Hyungwon turns to meet the eyes of a sharply dressed bespectacled man. "So it is you, Chae Hyungwon! It's me, director Yoo Kihyun. Do you remember? It's been a while."

            Still in position to sneeze into his elbow, Hyungwon extends a hand to greet the creative director. "Director Yoo, it's been too long. Nice to see you—" he coughs lightly into his sleeve "—again."

            "You look great, though," Kihyun compliments him. "Handsome as ever."

            Hyungwon mumbles a small thank you and clears his throat.

            "Ah, Wonho-hyung is here, too. Did you already meet him?" The director asks curiously and Hyungwon freezes.

            "I—no—I, um, haven't yet," the model stumbles over his words because it's been months since he last saw photographer Shin, and weeks since he last crossed his mind. Until now.

            "Is that so? Probably hanging around the photography booths. Oh—" Kihyun's eyes wander elsewhere, squinting then searching after a body lost in the crowd after a rushed, "I think I just saw—excuse me for now, Hyungwon. Let's catch up soon, yeah?"

            With director Yoo gone, Hyungwon finds himself being approached by a succession of different exquisitely dressed strangers, asking things like who he is wearing, what agency he was under, his previous work, and somehow within the hour amasses a fistful of business cards in his jacket pocket, two verbal agreements to walk a runway show and an offer to sign a seasonal contract with an online retailer. 

            Still typing notes from his encounters on his phone, a thin arm slides around his shoulder.

            "Chae Hyungwon, look at you~" Broadcaster Kim teases him. "I knew you'd be a hit!"

            Not able to refute her words, the model downast his gazes and smiled shyly.

            "You haven't been to that side of the exhibits have you?" She grabs his wrist lightly. "Let's go look at the pretty photographs and paintings."

            Hyungwon opens his mouth to protest but the broadcaster is already dragging him along, mind fixated on how strong this tiny woman's grip suddenly turned. When his gaze slowly returns eye-level, familiar blonde locks fall into his line of sight, an inexplicable, overwhelming feeling spills out from his chest. 

            Following the model's eyes, broadcaster Kim asks, "You know Photographer Shin Wonho? He's such a ladies' man." She winces at the entourage of woman draped over him, looping a champagne glass from a passing server between her fingers before leaning in to whisper in the model's ear. "I heard that's not even his real name. Not even his closest friends know it, since he's gone by that name since childhood."

            Hyungwon nods attentively to the young lady despite prickly pins stabbing all over his skin. Although they had no longer had anything to do with each other, photographer Shin used to be his friend. Yet this was the first he'd ever heard about him having a different name. It was like he didn't know anything about this person, even when he thought they were pretty close. But that's old news, he guesses.

            Feeling suffocated, Hyungwon grabs a cocktail glass from a nearby server. Then he takes another—and another—and downs a few too many drinks irresponsibly and ends up apologizing to broadcaster Kim before calling a cab home.

            When he sobers up a little, Hyungwon checks his phone.

            Yoonhee: Did you get home safe? Need hangover medicine? I can bring it to you

            Hyungwon: No, that's ..... would u?

            Yoonhee: I'm at the store now

            Hyungwon: Thank u... I'm at Hongdae st apt 303. You're a life saver ㅠㅠ

            Closing his eyes for a moment, Hyungwon doesn't wake until the next morning, head pounding.

            "Yah, wake up, sleepyhead," his roommate Minhyuk rolls a pillow over his bed. "A pretty lady dropped off some medicine for you last night and also brought soup for you to heat up. Who is she, hmm?"

            Minhyuk's chatty self wasn't any help to the dull ringing rounding out his ears.

            "She was—um—a date?" Hyungwon groans, knocking the side of his head with his palms. "She invited me to a party... and I—I had way too many drinks. Oh boy..."

            Secretly laughing at his friend's pain, Minhyuk pours a glass of water and pops open the medicine package for two pills and places them into Hyungwon's hand.

            "There, there," he coos the model, treating him like a child. "If it's any consolation, I think that lady still likes you. She went to all that trouble."

            "That's silly, Yoonhee doesn't like me," Hyungwon taps the pills into his mouth, washing them down with water. "She was just being nice."

            "Then why did she ask you on a date?" Minhyuk asks simply, wondering if Hyungwon really was this dense.

            "Because..." The model trailed off, not finding a reason compelling enough to refute. It never crossed his mind, but—yeah, actually. Maybe? "Hyung, does she like me?"

            "Uh, who doesn't have a crush on you, really," Minhyuk deadpans. "But my guess is yeah. Do you like her? Are you going to ask her out?"

            Hyungwon contemplates the thought. Should he? He hasn't dated anyone in so long, not since his first year of undergrad and they split maybe two years ago.

            Maybe asking the person in question would help him make the decision.

            "Yoonhee-ssi," Hyungwon says to the young lady seated across him, hands wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate. "Do you like me?"

            Her eyes widen, and she carefully sets her cup down. "Um, what—"

            "Do you want to date me?" He asks differently this time, not realizing that his words came out more like a suggestion than a question.

            "I—well—yes, I do, but why are you asking all of sudden?" Yoonhee's face was burning, caught off-guard. "Wow, um, I suddenly feel so happy and I—um—don't know what to do."

            "Then let's date, Yoonhee-ssi," Hyungwon smiles at the broadcaster's rabbit-like cuteness. "If it's you, I think we can do it."

            After all, Kim Yoonhee offered up all her cards to Hyungwon from the start, trusting him from a single photo and pulling strings to make him look and feel his best self, even if he ended up ruining her good efforts by running off in a cab that one time. But this woman had all her ducks lined up in a row. And the patience of a god. Thoughtful as a honeybee to wildflowers.

            She was exactly his type and it took him just now to realize it.

            In the cold of winter, Hyungwon receives a callback to model for the Spring collection for the Monbebe brand where he shot his first Fall/Winter catalog.

            "Does that—" photographer Shin still work there? He wanted to ask but holds his tongue. "Nevermind. I can be there. Please follow up with the contract signing location. Thank you."

            Fingers dial Yoonhee right away to celebrate the good news.

            Forgoing his morning coffee, Hyungwon rushes into the office building minutes before the designated meeting time and quickly scans then runs to open elevator doors, shoving his hand on along its side to keep them from closing. Eyes in plain view inside the elevator, the model audibly gasps at the man in front of him, removing his hand from the doors.  Let's keep it professional, echoes into his ears before he takes a step inside and holds his breath for the entire 45 seconds it takes to reach his floor.

            After he exits the elevator, he watches the LED display stop at the highest floor before the numbers go back down. 

            The contract signing goes by without issue, and Hyungwon signs off the paperwork.

            It isn't until afterward that his curiosity leads him to the top floor, taking a deep breath as he turns the door knob and steps onto the building rooftop. The winter breeze cascades through his chestnut tousled hair, breath exhaling in puffs of white smoke.

            Ka-chik.

            Hyungwon instinctively turns his head towards the sound of a camera shutter, watching as photographer Shin snaps photos of the swirling pink and blue sky. Lowering his camera to check the photo previews on screen, the photographer catches a tall figure in the corner of his eye and meets the gaze of the model standing ten feet away.

            "You look lost," photographer Shin laughs, eyes crinkled into a smile. "Need help?"

            Frozen, the model doesn't reply immediately, but mumbles an apology before his feet take him back down to the lobby, only stopping to realize his heart racing, beads of sweat forming at his brow.

            Why? Hyungwon asks himself. Why did I chase after him?

            The model buries his face in his hands. It's been several months since their friendship ended, but he still couldn't accept it. It was too unfair. Why did photographer Shin smile at him like that just now? Like they were still old friends. They didn't hate each other—so why did he? Why end it like that? There wasn't a single memory of Shin Wonho—or whatever his real name is—that Hyungwon could think of that wasn't full of laughter and endless smiles and deep conversations about color theory and design trends or visual culture. Yet the only feeling that surfaces in his chest at the sight of him now is a mixture of hurt and chaos.

            Hyungwon wasn't—still isn't—over losing Wonho as a friend.

            Wiping the wetness clouding his eyes, the model huffily makes his way out the lobby doors when a strong force pulls him back and finds himself facing photographer Shin, labored breaths exchanged between them.

            "Hyungwon-ah," he says between breaths. "Can we talk?"

            Now? Now you want to talk? Hyungwon thinks to himself, feeling every bit petty. But at the same time, he really needed this. From the bottom of his heart, he was so curious. About everything. 

            Photographer Shin drags him out and into the cafe they used to frequent.

            It doesn't feel real. His footsteps are lighter than air, the warmth of Wonho's hand on his wrist burning like live fireworks blasting his skin. Clear, black eyes staring straight into him, their bodies separated by the table between them. Hyungwon wanted to so much to clear the air with Wonho but he couldn't find the words to speak.

            (Reality bites. Hoseok blinks when Hyungwon finally says something.

            "I got... a girlfriend," falls out of the tall boy's mouth. "She's an announcer."

            It was the first thing he's said to him in months, but the last thing he wanted to hear. Actually, Hoseok doesn't know what he expected. Doesn't know why he felt the need to stop his personal photo session, run down several flights of stairs to catch the other man by the arm, and force him to sit down and spill each other's guts.

            "That's great," Hoseok wears a bleak smile. "Happy for you."

            Later that night, Hoseok searches Kim Yoonhee on the web and gathers a profile on her, going so far as to message some of his mutual contacts to ask what kind of person she was. Pretty, polite, hardworking. Has her life together and believes in people. Responsible and doesn't back down.

            Things that he wasn't. Things that he couldn't give to Hyungwon.

            Hyungwon was in a relationship with someone his complete opposite and something about it makes him feel like the worst piece of scum on the planet.)