six degrees           

            Shin Hoseok wonders how someone can change so much overnight.

            Filtered sunlight dancing over long feathery eyelashes. The metropolitan drone of cars and leaves whistling by in the background. Thumb repeatedly brushing against the same stretch of skin over an exposed arm. 

            He doesn't know if he should be doing this right now. If he should quietly slip past the body across from him—if he should shower first—if he should leave a note. If he should just leave right now and not look back until he's gone so far away that there's no possibilty for their eyes to meet again.

            He wishes it were that easy.

            The photographer admits his mistake. He shouldn't have laid his hands on the model. Although it's happened before (like, sometimes the set really heats up and there's all this leftover tension that needed to be undone), it was always after the fact. Because the photographer is someone who could separate personal affairs from work.

            Most times, both parties consented their disposition. It was going to be a one-time thing, no strings attached, no rules. Most times, the other person wouldn't stay the night and most times they ended up leaving first. It was only most times, because this one time, Hoseok broke his own rules by bringing his colleague into his own home.

            Chae Hyungwon was not like most people. Unlike his usual modest personage, if the right buttons were pressed, his charms fine-tuned into something strikingly provocative. Cheeks flushed, oversized clothing exposing his delicate shoulders. A normally thick, clear voice turned low and raspy. Lips a pretty pink and in full service, unafraid to part risque utterances into an ear, a brief smile touting the response.

            Like under a mortal spell.

            Hoseok closes his eyes, biting his lips.

            Mistakes can be forgiven, he tells himself.

            But not forgotten.

            The morning rolls over his eyes like a mid-winter avalanche. Temples throbbing and body aching, Hyungwon groans at the thought of opening his eyes to bend his will to reality. Stretching his limbs past the covers, he audibly winces at the pain shooting into various pressure points over his lightly bruised torso. Whimpering softly, he panicks at what must have happened after last night turned hot and heavy and a slew of images flash through mind unsolicited, detailing his inappropriate drunken behavior towards his colleagues and how photographer Shin took him back to his apartment to rest because it was close by and how terribly he came onto the photographer, who gave into him anyway.

            Hyungwon didn't even like photographer Shin like that.

            Like, he was weirdly attractive with a bright, smiley personality. Except, the model's type was someone who was kind and patient. Someone who had their life together. Photographer Shin seemed more like the type who lived in the moment and didn't plan a single step ahead. Cruising through life on auto-pilot. Which Hyungwon admired, but at the same time, detested.

            As he later discovers, Hyungwon sighs in relief to find the person in question not present.

            Collecting his clothes strewn about the room, Hyungwon hurries himself home to bathe until his skin turns pruny, simultaneously trying and not trying to think about how he should to face everyone on Monday morning. Much less how he should face the photographer from whose apartment he just experienced the walk of shame, with whom he'll spend hours in front of for two more days. 

            The model sinks further into the tub, bubbles rippling from a defeated exhale underwater. 

            Not recovering all weekend from the mental gymnastics of conjuring some explanation for his behavior without blaming anyone, he takes solace in the fact no phone calls were made to tell him not to come in anymore, so it's likely he still has the job for the time being. Though he still felt the need to publicly apologize to the team. Do people apologize for their drunken mistakes? Was it better to act like nothing happened?

            Then there was the lack of communication from photographer Shin. Which is fine, Hyungwon thinks. Really fine. Didn't expect much. Probably a one-time mistake—just a mistake. It happens.

            After a short pep talk, the model marches himself right on set Monday morning to bow deeply at the stand-up, choosing to apologize for making the staff take care of him the other night. To his surprise, they wave him off saying it was fun seeing a different side of him while others chimed in that they were all so drunk they didn't remember and not to worry about it. Lungs swell in relief, a weight off his shoulders. Being let off so easy made him feel silly for beating himself up so badly the past few days.

            Looking around, a sense of dread fills his chest in the absence of familiar blonde locks.

            Photographer Shin wasn't there.

            Rolling his bottom lip under his teeth, Hyungwon heads to hair and makeup to get ready, telling himself that the photographer will show up soon, even though it wasn't like him to miss the stand-up. But, no big deal—the staff will brief him. 

            The photographer arrives with only enough time to adjust the camera and minor lighting changes before the shoot starts. The minimal interaction with the photographer kept his nerves at bay, allowing him to complete the shoot as usual.

            Strange. Hyungwon felt earlier that he'd probably have a meltdown on set because he wouldn't know how to handle dealing with the photographer today. There was that slight knot of anxiety housed in his chest, but he worked through it just fine.

            The next day, too.

            In his down time, Hyungwon squints at the thought that, aside from work-related matters, the photographer was ignoring him. Which puzzles him, because up until that point, he thought they were friends. They hit it off right away from their first shoot on and built a rapport for months, even grabbing drinks alone and shopping for wallets. 

            Well, okay—so they slept together by mistake. Something changed, but it wasn't something to estrange themselves over. No one got hurt. They still got up in the morning and worked well with each other like six feet apart. And yet the longer they waited, the heavier it tolled on their friendship. It's been a few days and save for words exchanged on set, they haven't spoken to each other since.

            And today was the last day. Hyungwon wasn't the brand's exclusive model—just hired for the season, so it wasn't clear on whether he would ever see photographer Shin again in the near future. In fact, if the photographer never wanted to see him on set again, he could probably make that happen.

            Burning a bridge like this wasn't like him. He had to at least say something. To at least try to bring the other party to the same page.

            Throwing on his regular clothes, Hyungwon rushes out from wardrobe back into the studio to find that photographer Shin has once again evaded him entirely. Disappointed, he kicks his feet aimlessly down the street, wondering what to do.

            When he looks up, he realizes, he's wandered all the way over to photographer Shin's apartment building and immediately attempts to turn away because this is a really terrible idea. Really, really terrible. Probably so terrible that it's probably already too late to turn back now.

            Yeah, too late, he tells himself, as the his knuckles rap steadily onto painted wood.

            Stale air drifts between them as their eyes lock.

            The photographer has the faint idea to shut his door in the model's face, but doesn't.

            Hyungwon's lips are parted like he has something to say, but also doesn't and makes for coughing into his hand instead.

            "If you don't have anything to tell me, then bye." Hoseok says, a hand edging along the door jamb, reaching to push it shut.

            Hyungwon hesitates. "Wait—um. You... don't have anything to say to me?"

            The photographer buries his face into his hands, eyes wide open.

            "You do realize we haven't spoken in like five days?" He sighs, thumbing at his temple. "That wasn't by accident."

            The model stares at the ground. So it wasn't his imagination, after all.

            "Yes, but—I don't want to stop being friends with you," falls out of his mouth, trying to capture words that aren't too clingy and not too careless. "I don't want the last thing to happen between us to be a drunken mistake."

            Hoseok shakes his head.

            "I'm sorry, but... I kinda do." Breathing through his nose, Hoseok gathers his thoughts as best he can. "I don't think I could ever look at you the way I used to."

            Hyungwon makes a face, trying to make sense of it.

            "What does that even mean?" Hyungwon grabs a hold onto the photographer's wrist. "Wonho-hyung, can you just forget it? As if nothing happened between us—can't we just leave it like that?"

            Hoseok pulls his arm out of the model's powerless grasp.

            "I'm sorry. This is my own problem. It's really not your fault. I just can't act like nothing happened." Hoseok offers a weak smile that stabs at his chest like knives to a target. "I enjoyed your company while it lasted. If we meet again on set, let's keep it professional. Take care."

            Hyungwon finally learns to breathe again minutes after photographer Shin shuts the door. A familiar sting in his nose surfaces and his vision blurs. Knees drop to the ground, body curled, fits of breath exhaling his lungs in succession as he tries but fails to contain himself. He bites his lip to muffle the cry that climbs out his throat when tears start to roll down his face.

            It's over. Hyungwon tried his best. It's really over.

            (Back slid up against the door, heart thudding in his ears, Hoseok thinks how garbage of a human being he must be to hurt someone like Hyungwon. A paper heart torn and scattered into thousands of tiny, quivering shreds. The desperation in his voice, the expectation in his eyes. The absolute emptiness that hollowed his cheeks mere seconds before the photographer couldn't bare to face him any longer and closed his door.

            People like Shin Hoseok shouldn't meddle into the lives of people like Chae Hyungwon. 

            Because people like himself had eyes that wander, and wander often, towards the next shiny, new thing. Because people like himself had trouble keeping calendar dates in check because it felt like he could breathe to know that each new day started with a fresh sheet of paper to write ink onto than to look forward to a day that may never come. Because his nightlife decorated with plenty of friends laughing and drinking the night away only to return home alone because no one dared to push themselves even an inch closer. 

            If he kept this up any longer, he might really fall for Hyungwon. For Hoseok, physical attraction was only the beginning. As quickly as his feelings built on a high, they crashed even faster. And if his previous track record were any indication, only Hyungwon would bare the brunt of their inevitable breakup and Hoseok would move onto the next one, like always.

            And he didn't deserve that.

            Hyungwon didn't deserve to experience that kind of pain, and Hoseok sure as hell didn't want to be the one to deliver it to him.)

a/n: so i am suuuuuuuper new to this ship and fandom. 've read maybe .5 hyungwonho fics. pls recc some to me... spam me pics and fanaccs. classic/iconics vids or moments that i prob haven't seen yet (again, super new). i wasn't going to get into another ship after xiuhan but well.

couple q's: is it hyungwonho, 2won, or wonchae? what is the general consensus? also, if any of u readers r hyungwon or wonho-biased, what is the ur personal observation on what their personalities are really like?

lastly, i'm busy but will try to finish this before the year ends! i haven't written a fic is so freakin long uhuhuhu hope this is ok ;;

p.s. for now, hyungwon knows shin hoseok as shin wonho (professional name). if the name hoseok is used, you can assume the story has now taken his point of view (but in 3rd person bc that's how this fic is being written). sorry i decided to be confusing!!!