He doesn’t remember making wrong choices.

All his life, his decisions have been based on careful thinking. When he picks out something to wear, he prepares it a day before. When someone’s birthday is approaching, he makes sure to buy them a gift. All his appointments, events, trips are written in a notebook where he can track everything.

For Minhyun, being organized is everything.

At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.

In his dictionary, he shouldn’t be the one to make impulsive decisions. It was his ex-boyfriend’s job to do that. All he can do is sit and wait before he comes back with a clear mind and apology ready. Minhyun thought being patient is everything, but he is not a god and a mere human can only last so much before they give up.

“Let’s break up”

Three words.

Three words was all it took to break their relationship of four years. Minhyun doesn’t know if it hurts because it’s over or because it was an impulsive decision. Was loving him and staying for four years nothing?

Those questions remain unanswered, swimming at the back of his mind.

Maybe he did know their ending but he refused to understand.

Now, his wrong choice came in a bottle of alcohol and a bar he’s never been to before. It’s a small bar compared to the ones in Seoul. The fumes from cigarettes swirled in the air like they’re dancing, disappearing when they’re exposed to the light. Wine bottles are hanged upside down on a wooden shelf where they’re used as display.

He thinks they shouldn’t be held up like that, Minhyun couldn’t read a word.

The stools are squeaking, old but still usable and the place boomed with loud music, sounds of laughter being drowned by the bass. Sweaty bodies danced around each other, too close for comfort, hips grinding and hands gliding everywhere. Minhyun can only stare in disgust while still in his slightly sober state. He might as well laugh at himself if he ends up like them.

“Hey”

He ignores the first call, unaware of his surroundings as he focused on the dingy corner of the bar, a famous area for making out. For the past hour, Minhyun’s figured out that bar goers don’t pay attention to the agendas of other people. They prefer to stick to their own business. If someone’s alone, that’s the only time they’ll approach. This maybe a usual thing for others but not to him.

Where do they get that confidence?

Alcohol, of course.

“Hey, alone?” The second call catches his attention briefly, a glass of alcohol suddenly placed in front of him, presumably from the stranger who’s calling him. Minki’s words echoed in his mind ‘Don’t take drinks from strangers, you don’t know what they put there’ he said, but Minhyun’s old enough to make his own decisions and tonight, their rules. Let him make his own impulsive decisions

“If you die it’s on you. Don’t ghost over me when you’re dead”

The memory of his words makes Minhyun laugh miserably, it would be better if he could die of heartache. It will be easier for everyone if there's no one’s to blame.

He takes the alcohol, drinking it in one go. The last thing he needs right now is for those thoughts to invade his mind.

“It would be nice to be noticed first before the drink” The strangers voice is quite husky and rough with a playful tone lilt to it. An image of what he looks like pops up in his mind. What else can you find in a small and old bar besides boys hungry for ? “So, any partner I should have a look out for? I don’t appreciate being punched at such time of the day”

Minhyun still doesn’t answer, question throwing him off for a bit. He found it hard to digest the words boyfriend, couple and partner after the break up. To make matters worse, he became this bitter person whenever he heard it. It feels heavy, like an anchor dragging him down to the bottom of the sea. His current situation doesn’t shed light on what he’s doing wrong.

He’s simply wallowing in despair, visiting the place he shouldn’t even think of.

His hometown, Jeju-do.

The thought is stupid.

Minhyun simply saw the word Jeju in a poster and took it as a sign that he needs to level up his game. He filed a leave, bought a ticket to Jeju the week after and believed it was a chance to prove himself.

Now, he knows it’s the easiest part of the plan. Two days passed by and he’s still moping around.

Since it was an impromptu decision, Minhyun had no back up plan. The fear kicked in and rather than asking for his love back, Minhyun settled for a bar.

A bar out of all the places he could've gone to.

If Dongho found him in Jeju and looked his way, would it change a single thing? Can Minhyun prove to him that he’s not a random decision from four years ago?  

“Are you mute?” the stranger tries again, interrupting his line of thoughts. When is he leaving?

“You don’t understand signals do you? I’m not interested” He barely noticed the way his words slurred but the stranger’s laugh is enticing. Minhyun shakes his head to get a hold of himself, the alcohol settling in his system.

“So you’re not mute and definitely no boyfriend”

“Relationships are the bane of my existence” Minhyun spits out poking the strangers chest a little too harsh. “Leave, I’m not interested”

“The first time maybe” He sits beside Minhyun, a glass of alcohol also in his hand. The smell is not familiar, content probably higher than the one he’s drinking. The stranger reeks of alcohol but he might’ve been smelling himself. “You haven’t even looked at me”

“I don’t need to look at you to know that… ” He takes a swig, eyes unfocused and heavy. “...I’m not interested, you narcissistic jerk” The last three words came out as a mumble, his head spinning after the number of shots he’s taken.

“You look wasted. Don’t stay here if you don’t want strangers hitting on you” He doesn’t sound offended with Minhyun fending him off. He sounds amused more than anything. He could’ve taken advantage, given the drunken state he’s in.

“I don’t look wasted, I am wasted and I plan to be one for the rest of the night” Minhyun spats back, finally looking at the man. For a second, the stranger across him looked familiar. The built, the amused smile, the way their eyes disappeared. It’s the same as his ex-boyfriend. “Y-you...”

“Me?”

But no, it’s different.

Alcohol sure has its way of twisting the reality into fantasy. “So Mr. fox eyes, how do I look in your eyes?”

“Ugly” Minhyun blurts it out without any thought, regret immediately follows. This is not something you say to someone who’s attractive and definitely not in your first meeting.

“Ouch” The stranger clutched his chest, feigning a look of hurt. “Now, why would you say I’m ugly?”

“It’s just a first thought” The way his mind changed after a few seconds is scary. Minhyun slams his head on the table. ‘Stop it Hwang Minhyun. You’re not doing anything reckless’ It takes him a few seconds to recollect himself, a chant