The next day Seohee was oozing happiness, eyes sparkling, red cheeks and giving big smiles to whomever made eye contact with her. Junmyeon looked just as giddy, and Seohee couldn't wait to be alone with him to hug him tightly to her chest. She almost started singing while she was dusting the living room, and Seohee wasn't the kind of person who sang freely in public.

It went on like that for three weeks. They tried not to give away they had something going on in front of the others, and spent their nights and evenings together, far away from prying eyes. Sure, it was very similar to what they did before, but now they also hugged and kissed each other, not afraid to touch the other whenever they felt like it. Even just holding Junmyeon's hand made Seohee feel better after a tiring day. At times the just talked, not even touching the other, but it was enough to Seohee. It was the feeling of belonging to someone that had finally stopped the hollowness she'd been feeling for years. The certitude that she wasn't alone anymore.

Seohee recognized she wasn't a good actress when her father started asking what was making her smile that much lately. Seohee had just snickered, telling him it was nothing, already knowing that he wouldn't have approved to her and Junmyeon's relationship.

She hid the little notes Junmyeon left for her inside his room, and at night she read them again, trying to memorize every single word he'd written for her and leaving him a short reply while she was making his bed in the morning. She felt so giddy inside. Finally she felt happy too, and she could now understand why the other girls in her age were already married or about to be married of. Being in love was great.

Then she heard the first rumour, and Seohee really wanted to laugh at that girl's face. Why would Junmyeon get married without asking her? The younger maid often liked to invent rumours to make themselves shine in front of the other maid, even taking their stories a little too far at times.

But in the following days the rumours multiplied, and Seohee started questioning what was going on and where had they heard such a thing. However, before she had the chance to ask Junmyeon an explanation, the first gift arrived. The gift for his marriage.

Seohee remembered staying in Junmyeon's room barely enough to hear him say that he'd discovered his parents had arranged the marriage only a couple of days before, but didn't know how to tell her about it. She cried herself to sleep that night, and finally realized that no matter how many times she told herself there was no future for them, she'd kept feeding her own delusion, helped by Junmyeon's behaviour, and this was the result. She had never felt more betrayed before.

She was back to her loneliness.

Going to work the day after Junmyeon's confession had been one of the hardest things Seohee had ever done in her life. Being one of those who'd worked the longest for the Kim family, Seohee had been appointed to bringing the incoming presents to the party hall, the one who had to ornate the room and bast the huge table where all the presents were to be put, so that they were ready for the wedding reception. Day after day new presents arrived, cutting Seohee's pride deeper every single time she had to bring another package to the party hall.

Mrs. Kim was overjoyed and talked about the marriage to whomever lent her their time, and while Mr. Kim only looked proud of Junmyeon, his sister were going crazy looking for the right materials for their dresses and how to have everything tailored in time with the little time left before the ceremony. All the house personal was gushing about the grandeur of the celebration. And Seohee wanted to throw up every time she heard the words 'Junmyeon' and 'marriage' in the same sentence.

Apparently no one aside from Mrs and Mr. Kim knew about the arranged marriage, but that was not enough of an excuse to justify Junmyeon. Seohee's hurt pride forbade her from forgiving him for keeping it from her and from listening to him. What good would've brought listening to him when he was about to marry another girl? Would telling him she loved him way more than that girl could ever do be enough to stop the marriage from happening? She would just be pathetic and she couldn't allow that to herself. She already felt pathetic enough.

And so Seohee worked in silence, avoiding everyone in fear of crying or saying something she wasn't allowed to. The worst had been the moment she'd been asked to help the tailor with the fitting for Junmyeon's suit only a week later. He looked so good in his black suit Seohee couldn't keep herself from staring a little. She had also noticed how Junmyeon was looking at her from the mirror and the way he was eyeing her trembling hands, but she pretended not to. In three days he would've been another woman's man. It seemed all so absurd to her how in less than a month and a half their relationship had started, concluded and she'd been replaced.

The night before the ceremony Junmyeon had looked for her in the kitchens, but Seohee had recognized the sound of his steps and had decided to hide in the storage room and wait for him to leave. She'd heard a sound very similar to sniffling, but it didn't matter anymore. What did it matter that Junmyeon was tearing up for her now when he'd be married to another woman in a couple of hours? What did it matter that he was crying for her when he was destined to a greater future with a woman worthy of him? A woman with whom he wouldn't have to hide to show her affection. A woman that would be reputed perfect for him by everyone else. Moreover she wasn't ready to face him and admit to herself she'd completely lost him. No amount of talking could've changed that reality.

Seohee had had a lot of time to rethink her choices in the last two weeks, and albeit she had realized that she really had no reason to be upset, because she had always known this was how thing were supposed to be, she was still hurting because of the situation. There would've been no future for her and Junmyeon. They couldn't have possibly hidden in his room forever. One day one of them would've wanted more and would've grown frustrated with the other for not having the chance to leave a real marriage, and then what? Maybe by then she would've been old and without another chance to meet another man she could fall in love with, she'd resonated. She knew it was the right decision, she really did, but she wanted to cry her eyes out and ask him to run away with her, like the characters of those romance books she'd always like to read. The only problem was that this was the real life, and things like that didn't happen.

With an excuse Seohee managed to avoid attending to the marriage, in spite of being invited both from Mrs. Kim and from Junmyeon's sister to sit in last rows of the church to be there for Junmyeon. Seohee kept herself busy by helping in the kitchens and dusting every single surface of the party hall instead. It was the best she could do to stop herself from crying and imagining Junmyeon standing by the altar with another woman. The extreme pain she felt when Junmyeon and his new wife arrived hand in hand in the hall couldn't be explained. It was a mix of jealousy, pain, anxiety and hatred. Hatred for all these rich people. Hatred for Junmyeon. Hate for his wife. Hate for the Kims. Hating them all because the man who'd professed his love for her less than a month and half ago was not married to another woman. Hate. Because hating was easier that just suffering. Pretending she didn't care was already hard enough without having reality slapping her in the face.

For the whole reception Seohee wore a fake smile on her face, hoping it wasn't too clear she wasn't feeling as happy as she wanted them to believe. She served for the whole afternoon, for the night and until the ball finished later in the night. Feeling the pain in her feet seemed way better than feeling the one in her heart, thus Seohee worked until her whole body was aching, bringing food, plates, glasses, whine, handkerchiefs to and from the kitchens with no pause, making sure to always keep her eyes away from the two newlyweds.

When everyone left, Seohee felt so tired she didn't even feel like crying anymore. She cleaned the room the best she could and then left whatever was left to do for the morning, because she was really exhausted and mind felt fuzzy, which could be risky when handling fine, expensive china. She didn't sleep that night though. She didn't even cry. Seohee spent her whole night staring at the ceiling, rewatching and analysing whatever image from the party that flashed in her mind. It feel both too much and not enough at the same time. Her brain wanted to shut down, but Seohee didn't allow it.

She wanted to throw up the moment the other maids informed her she'd been appointed to Junmyeon's room that day. To this day Seohee can't forget how disgusted, betrayed and hurt she felt seeing all the blood smeared on the sheets she'd cleaned and used to make the bed. It felt like God was really playing with her. The betrayal from the news of the wedding paled in front of what she was feeling now. It also felt like reality was kicking her in the face for even just thinking she could've been with him. Then the tears started threatening to fall and Seohee decided she had had enough. She just folded the stained sheet and handed it to Mrs Kim, so that she could happily show it to whomever she liked to prove he purity of her daughter-in-law, before she asked for a two weeks leave. Mrs. Kim had clearly showed she was disappointed in her for wanting to take her leave when she was needed the most, yet she couldn't really deny it to Seohee when she told her she was starting to feel sick. For the first time, Seohee hated her too. There were so many other maid, why couldn't she just appoint another maid to that room and leave her alone?

In reality, at the moment Seohee couldn't care less of what people thought of her, be it Mrs Kim or anyone else, but she didn't want to raise suspects nor did she want to upset Mrs. Kim. The Kims had been very nice with her in the years she'd spent with them, but for once Seohee really felt like she couldn't get over herself and just go with whatever was happening just to please her.

As soon as she reached her own home Seohee laid in her bed and finally allowed herself to feel the pain. Tears streamed silently down her cheeks as she found herself whispering “I love you” again and again, and no matter how much she tried to stop herself, she couldn't. At some point she must have fallen asleep, because she woke up to a dark sky and her father sorting the fruit her aunt had brought a couple of days prior.

Time seemed to pass really slowly, day after day, but the pain wasn't going away, and every time Seohee had to see Junmyeon interacting with his wife she asked herself if this was the future she wanted for herself. In the last years she'd managed to save some money from both hers and her father's salaries, thus they weren't in a dire need for money, but she couldn't bring herself to give up on her job just yet. Maybe it was because she liked the way Junmyeon still looked at her, searching for her eyes even weeks later from the day of his marriage, how he tried to start a conversation, or maybe it was that she wanted to see how things developed, Seohee only knew she wasn't ready to let go yet.

Just like the pain, the love she felt for Junmyeon hadn't faded as the time passed. Seohee really tried to forget him, to focus on other things, but whenever she caught the sight herself in the mirror and saw the necklace he'd given to her, whenever she folded his clothes and his perfume reached her nose, whenever he went out of his way to see if she was in the kitchens, the spark of that old annoying feeling started shining again.

It felt like a punch in the