The second time they went out together, everything felt more real. 

Kyungsoo takes her on a nice restaurant with great food, great wine and great music on the second of them, hanging out. The restaurant quite feels home, maybe because of it's earth tone color that soothes Jihyun in someway she can explain. It fits the guy he's with very much, homey and peaceful. 

Kyungsoo being the gentleman as always, guides her on their designated booth and pulls out the chair for her. For the first time that night, Jihyun feels that she's alone with Kyungsoo even the fact that their managers are just booth away. There is no lingering feeling of being followed, it's just the two of them.

Arguably, being an idol means having less time of your own, less time to spend with their friends and family, less time for everything that matters to them personally. Every move they make and every step they take are being monitored by people who's ready to jump on them the moment they commited mistakes. It is that harsh and to think of Kyungsoo living like this tugs at Jihyun's heartstrings. Probably it's harder for him because he is an idol who belongs to a top group and at the same time a promising actor.

Once seated, Jihyun immediately notices the close approximity between the two of them. The booth is small enough for her to feel everything about Kyungsoo, from the way his lips curved into different shapes as he spoke to the way it stretches out fully when he smiled. The faint yellow orange lighting of the restaurant against Kyungsoo's skin makes him glow more than ever. Kyungsoo was wearing black from head to toe and he had his cute glasses on and god his hair was styled up, beautifully done. He's beautiful, Jihyun can't tear her eyes away from him. 

5 months of shooting together is enough for them to build a pretty good going rhythm between them so starting conversation ain't that hard. They talk about the most random stuff; they talk about their dreams, acting career, their friends, and everything they can think of at the moment. Jihyun can't help but asks for Kyungsoo's past love encounter. She is in the verge of saying sorry and telling Kyungsoo to pay no mind to her non sense queations (insert awkward laugh) when Kyungsoo starts telling him about Irene, Irene of Red Velvet, Korea's no. 1 top visual. Wow. Just wow.  Kyungsoo says that they were in a two years relationship but everything was kind of a mess and they ended breaking things up between them. That's all, Kyungsoo won't shares more and it's okay, Jihyun won't push him to things he doesn't likes to talk about. 

For now, this is more than enough.

Everything is simple at its finest, hearty, and warm. It's perfect with them laughing together, remembering something funny during the set-- something about Kyungsoo tripping over a pile of manure. She enjoys every bits of the moment and she knows, Kyungsoo too. Every sound vibrates through the small compartment of the booth they were in. They even bantered over small things for some time and if anything it does to Jihyun, it sure make her heart swells with joy. 

Perfect is a moment right here and right now with Kyungsoo. Perfect 10.

Jihyun will never forget the way Kyungsoo said that she looks beautiful, heck she almost chokes and spits out the food she's chewing. 

"You look beautiful tonight, Jihyun." Faster than lightning, Jihyun snaps her head towards the man who blurts it out of sudden, blurts it out of a conversation of Busan and other beautiful destination that could be found in Korea. It startles the older man, judging from how he forks his food nervously. 

"I...I mean always, you look beautiful as always. You're gorgeous." Kyungsoo says in one go. Jihyun is sure both of them are beet red, mirroring each other,  for a moment Jihyun stops breathing.

"Thank you." Jihyun with an awkward response. This is not so her but then again everytime she's with Kyungsoo every possible weird things can happen. All the insecurities that she interbally builds up the moment she discovered Irene was Kyungsoo's ex vanished in an instant.

There's a deafening silence engulfing them, save for the clattering of utensils while they eat and lively music as their background. They ate the rest of their food in silence and Jihyun wanted to start a conversation but she just can't bring herseld

"It would be nice to go for a walk but we both know we don't have the luxury of that" says Kyungsoo some time after their dinner, breaking the ice. Disappointment and sadness coating the tone of his voice. He pouts like he always do, Jihyun cooes. She thinks of this unintentional habit of him adorable.

Jihyun swears he caught Kyungsoo's looking at her from time to time like as if right now, at the very moment, Jihyun is everthing that matters to Kyungsoo, that as if Kyungsoo will blink, Jihyun will dsiappear. It's that intense and Jihyun would like to take this as a sign that maybe, just maybe Kyungsoo feels the same way and that maybe, just maybe, there's a place for them in this cruel world they both live in. The cruel industry that will judge no matter what they do. 

She knew at the very moment when Kyungsoo's manager approached them, their time was over. She wasn't wrong at all. Apparently Kyungsoo was needed immediately in SM building, something comeback related. 

The younger can vividly remembers how sorry Kyungsoo was for not being able to drop her home, mumbling something like "maybe next time?". Jihyun nods. 

Sure next time but when is next time?

She clearly remembers every wave of Kyungsoo's hand as the older entirety gets smaller and smaller as he walks towards his car.  The moment, Kyungsoo's car speed away from the parking lot, Jihyun felt a part of her speeding away with Kyungsoo leaving her feeling empty and somehow missing something. Maybe it's the warmth radiating from Kyungsoo that envelops her into a different level of state of home, comfortness, and peace. Jihyun got it bad.

The chaos of living life like this, she sighs. 

The beautiful chaos of falling in love with Doh Kyungsoo. 
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The moment the prof dismissed their class, Jihyun sprints as fast as she can out of the classroom, bowing fastly at everyone and bidding her goodbyes. 

She makes a stop at the women's comfort room to make herself presentable as much as possible. Failed. The exhausting process of revising her thesis, group meetings, and long classes on that day can be visibly seen on her face. As she takes a look on the mirror, there's a large pair of eyebags decorating her eyes and the make up she's sporting weared out. Jihyun frowns

A complete mess, she mutters. Thus, she fixes her hair, reapplies some of her bbcream, and lipstick-- not too much but will do. If she only knows that this will happen then she could have wear something more decent than the old pink sweater, denim jeans and the pair of sneakers she's sporting. Once satisfied, she takes a look of herself for one last time and a breath. 

"You're just hanging out. Nothing out of friendship context." she says, trying to calm down the out of her and convincing herself she will not do something stupid and weird like that one time she tripped in front of Kyungsoo. God, embarrassing, Jihyun shakes the thought out of her system. 

Kyungsoo-oppa
"I'm in the parking lot."
Today, 6:15pm

She reads Kyungsoo's text again and again. This is it, huh? She'll be seeing Kyungsoo after weeks of missing him. She texted him a quick response of "i'll be there" then grabs her bag and heads out to the parking lot. 

There's a whole zoo in her stomach right now.  It's the feeling of missing a step on a stair everytime she's nearing the parking lot. This isn't highschool puppy love, Jihyun scolds herself. They're grown up people so Jihyun can't never understand why she fusses over it. 

In the sea of cars, it was hard to identify Kyungsoo's but after a few minutes of finding it, Jihyun is now in front of Kyungsoo black car. Black as always, she thought. If there's one thing you could tell straight away about Kyungsoo it's his his unrelenting love for black . It's the easiest thing in the world judging from the way he dresses to the color of his phone and glasses. 

She lets out one long shaky breath and looks around to make sure nothing seems suspicious before knocking on the car window, beforee facing the man she thinks of all day long, the man who unknowingly messes the way she see things.

It's on the second knock, Kyungsoo rolls down the window and greeted her with a soft fond smile. Jihyun froze for a second and now she's ing sure that she have a problem keeping her heartbeat at a regular pace everytime seeing the sight of his smile. A click can be heard, indicating the unlocking of the car doors, Jihyun malfunctions for afew seconds. It was Kyungsoo's voice that brings her back to the reality--"Jihyunnie, get in"-- the man softly says. 

And for that she immediately hops in, still embarrased of what just happened. The moment she takes a seat is the moment she gets the chance to study Kyungsoo overall appearance. As usual he is sporting an all black with his glasses on. Jihyu eyebrows furrow and then she lets out a frown as she drinks in Kyungsoo and it catches the older's attention. 

"You sure you should be hanging out of me instead of resting?" Jihyun said sternly, not because she's mad but because she is worried. He's obviously not feeling well. The preparation for the comeback must have been tough and it's taking its toll on the man besides her. Kyungsoo being Kyungsoo always looks good but the tiredness on his face right now will never be unnoticed. The bags under his eyes are bigger and darker compared to the one she have. Kyungsoo also looks paler than the usual. 

"You okay?" concern written all over Jihyun's face. 

Kyungsoo purses his lips, his mouth forming a hard line as he studies Jihyun then breaking out to a full smile, a reassuring one. Warm spreading out through her entire system.and filling the void of not seeing Kyungsoo for weeks 

 "I am now." Kyungsoo's reaches one of his arms, placing it at the top of her head, leaning a bit closer to Jihyun and for a moment her breathe hitches. Kyungsoo ruffles Jihyun's hair so careful and so gently. Jihyun absent-mindedly sighs, feeling more relax and warm. 

Kyungsoo display of affection (Jihyun would like to put it that way) doesn't stop with just smoothering her hair, he also proceeds pinching Jihyun's nose fondly and then lets out a hearty laugh and series of incoherent words. Jihyun can't make out of it but caught something like "cute" and Jihyun flushes so hard she shakes her head to get rid of it. 

What's that supposed to mean and why is it causing so much trouble to the point Jihyun can feel every air from her lungs is taken away, floating in the air and clouding the way she thinks. It is dizzying. 

She looks at Kyungsoo who is now busy buckling the seatbelt, she is searching for something in Kyungsoo’s eyes, something she knows but at the same she doesn't. It doesn't makes sense. Enigma. 

Dumbfounded is the word to describe her when Kyungsoo for the second time leans closer, invading a part of her space to buckle his seatbelt. There her heart goes again. It is so close,she  can smell Kyungsoo's manly scent,  so close she can feel Kyungsoo's warm breaths tickling her nose, and so close she is actually afraid Kyungsoo might hear the loud thumping of her heart. 

"Safety first" with that he pulls away from the parking lot, a smile plastered on his face. 

Jihyun decides that Kyungsoo is an expert at making her feel things.
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