---

 

Jongin narrowly avoids colliding with a cyclist after he steps outside, and their irritated cursing only fuels the pounding in his head as he tightens his grip on his backpack. He seriously regrets not socking Taemin in the face when he had the chance, but Jongin shoves the thought away when he hears the front door opening, which is closely followed by Vivi trying to climb up his leg. Jongin finds himself glued to the pavement, but he wishes he'd just sprinted down the road instead when he turns his head and sees the look of bewilderment on Sehun's face. Jongin can only watch as Sehun awkwardly shifts from his spot ten feet away, before he scrambles for his phone.

 

"Sorry, this is--" Jongin clenches his jaw as he dials Krystal's number. Even though Jongin knows that he's been ignoring her texts and calls as of lately, he still curses under his breath when her voicemail goes off. He's torn between finding a park bench and lying down smack in the middle of the patio, because he knows that he would rather freeze to death on the streets than sleep on his bedroom floor amid Chanyeol's drumming equipment. It's not until he notices Sehun scratching the back of his head in his peripheral that Jongin wants to scream.

 

Sehun seemingly notices the distraught look on Jongin's face, because he quickly clears his throat. "If it's not too much trouble-- I mean, you could always stay over at my place if you want," he says, shoving a hand in his pocket. He watches as Jongin proceeds to wipe his eyes with a muddy hand, all while Vivi begs him for a treat. "If it's alright with-"

 

"That's just the way he is nowadays, he's just--" Jongin clamps his mouth shut in fear of screaming loudly enough to wake the entire neighborhood, which he figures he would have done when he processes Sehun's words. He's thankful that the whole block is void of human life, since Jongin figures he must look like a living mud monster right now. However, Jongin forgets all about it when the familiar coiling returns to in his gut, and he doesn't even realize that he's gawking like an owl as he looks at Sehun. "Wait, really???" He mentally slaps himself when Sehun nods. "I mean, you don't have to--" Jongin attempts a smile, only to shiver when a cold gust of wind nearly makes the mud on his cheeks crack. "If it's not too much...never mind."

 

While Vivi runs in circles by his feet, Sehun smiles. "Of course," he says, and he goes on to mention something about Jongin needing a shower as he bends down to feed Vivi another treat. The sound of something crashing and breaking inside the house has them both blinking in surprise, and Sehun has to drag Vivi away when he yaps at the front door. "It's only going to get colder, so we should probably get going." He chuckles when Jongin audibly shivers for the nth time.

 

Jongin sort of regrets chucking his jacket in the laundry basket, despite it being filthy, because he honestly doesn't know if he'll make it three blocks without something to keep him warm. Despite the heat surging through his cheeks, Jongin finds himself shaking like a leaf when they slowly make their way down the empty street. For a second, all Jongin hears is the pitter-pattering of Vivi's paws as he skitters ahead of them, and the incoming breeze distracts Jongin from the fact that he's actually on his way to Sehun's house, and he has to force himself to snap out of it when he narrowly avoids tripping on air. As much as Jongin wants to stuff his hands in his pockets to keep them warm, one look at the mud staining them is all it takes for him to walk as closely to Sehun as possible, instead.

 

However, Jongin figures that probably isn't doing a good job at masking his uncontrollable shivering, because the next thing he knows, he's squawking in protest after Sehun halts and reaches for the buttons on his coat. "Wait, wait, you don't need to--" Jongin nearly jumps five feet in the air upon feeling a sudden warmth enveloping him like a fiery blanket, and he makes sure not to get mud everywhere as he slides his arms through the holes. Despite the fact that his brain is screaming at him to just return it, the subsequent breeze is enough to make Jongin scramble for the buttons. "Won't you be cold???"

 

Sehun steps aside to make way for a couple jogging towards them. "I'll be fine," he hums, gesturing at his own hoodie, which is so thick that Jongin feels himself sweating bullets just looking at it. He goes on to toss the empty bag of dog treats in the nearest trash can, all while Vivi curiously sniffs everybody walking past. "I live right down the block, so it should be alright." Sehun's silver ring glitters in the light when he gestures down the street, and he's about to open his mouth to continue when a loud clanking noise makes him whirl around.

 

Rubbing the sore spot on his forehead, Jongin manages to choke out a low 'Sorry' when Sehun frantically asks him if he's alright. Jongin is awfully glad that he's got the mud on his eyelashes to blame, since he would rather not admit to walking straight into a lamppost as a result of gawking at Sehun's ring for too long. "There's...I can't really see," he mumbles. It's not until Sehun says something along the lines of 'May I?' that Jongin squeezes his eyes shut, and he nearly cries when he feels soft fingertips gently brushing the corners of his eyes. Jongin barely manages to stifle his surprised squawk when Sehun rubs his cheeks with the back of his hand. It takes every fiber of Jongin's being not to scream when he opens his eyes, only to be greeted with he sight of Sehun standing less than five inches from his face, which in turn causes an unbearable heat to surge through his head.

 

"That should be most of it," Sehun hums, eyes scanning Jongin's face (which, Jongin figures, must be an equal shade of red as the leaves littering the pavement) with a soft smile. Jongin finds himself staring perhaps a little too intently at the way Sehun's eyebrows furrow in concentration when he proceeds to brush mud out of his matted hair. A group of teenagers send them strange looks while walking past, but Sehun doesn't seem to pay them any mind as he chuckles. "You know, it's just weird."

 

Jongin blinks. "Weird?" he blurts out, deciding against slapping a hand over his mouth in fear of accidentally whacking Sehun in the face (and undoing Sehun's hard work). The caffeine lingering on Sehun's breath has Jongin wanting to sit down before he topples over, but he remains exactly where he is as he attempts a decent smile. A part of Jongin sort of wishes that Taemin were here, just so that the latter could deck him in the chest to get his heart to stop beating so fiercely. "What's weird???"

 

Sehun turns up the collar around Jongin's neck when a cold breeze passes. "It's nothing," he says after a few seconds, "I just find it strange that someone can look so adorable while covered in mud." His eyes flicker to the buttons just in time to miss the way Jongin's cheeks visibly redden (which Jongin prays isn't visible underneath the thick, brown layer on his face). A group of women walk past them, and their obnoxious cackles effectively mask Jongin's loud squawk when Sehun sends him a gentle smile. "Is that alright?"

 

Ignoring the dull pain shooting through his head, Jongin stares down at himself - at Sehun's now buttoned coat. In a sense, he sort of wants to scream at Sehun for trapping the heat surging through his entire body, but Jongin finds himself frantically nodding, all while he prays his Sehun isn't picking up on the thumping in his chest. Amid the anxious flickering inside his head, Jongin barely registers Sehun mentioning something about them needing to pick up their feet so that he can get himself cleaned up. Despite the fact that he's forgotten that he looks like a mud monster at this point, Jongin nods and flies after Sehun, anyway.

 

 

6:09 PM

 

 

Embarrassingly enough, Jongin is so caught up with trying not to walk into any more lampposts that he ends up tripping over Sehun's patio when they reach Sehun's house less than five minutes later. Thankfully, Sehun doesn't seem to notice as he casually fishes his keys out of his back pocket, all while Vivi impatiently scratches on the front door. A blast of cinnamon and men's cologne hits Jongin in the face when the door swings open, and he nearly cries when the warmth of Sehun's house engulfs him like a warm, fuzzy blanket. Despite wanting nothing more than to dive head first in the door, Jongin finds himself nailed to the threshold and unable to move as he shyly watches Vivi scurry down the hallway with his leash dragging behind him. From his spot outside, Jongin notices Sehun's black car parked a few feet away, which in turn has him scanning the area for any signs of a white Mercedes. To Jongin's dismay, he finds none, and he doesn't get a chance to ask Sehun where he keeps his other cars before the latter sends him an amused look from his spot in the hallway. To say that Jongin forgets all about his question as he scrambles in the door would be a vast understatement.

 

Vivi immediately darts towards the kitchen, and Jongin proceeds to awkwardly Sehun's coat when he worries he might sweat to death. Jongin does his best not to wrinkle the garment as he hangs it up on one of the hangers as carefully as he can, and he sort of wishes that Sehun would show him towards the bathroom when the smell of mud nearly becomes overwhelming. It's not until Jongin catches a glimpse of himself in the hallway mirror that he suddenly becomes awfully self conscious about the mud caked on his jeans, and he blames his internal panicking for causing him to blindly scramble towards a door marked 'WC', seconds after Sehun asks him if he'd like anything to drink.

 

Jongin mentally slaps himself for seeming impolite as he gives his filthy form his complete and undivided attention, and he tries ignoring the lavender scent lingering in the air as he bends down and attempts to wriggle his jeans off. Jongin ends up practically peeling them off his legs upon realizing that they're literally sticking to his thighs like glue, and he soon finds himself peddling back and forth between placing them on the floor or draping them across the bathtub. Settling for the latter, Jongin eyes his reflection in the mirror, and he has to look away when he sees just how filthy his face is. It only reminds Jongin of how his and Baekhyun's faces would look after a whole evening of football in Baekhyun's backyard when they were fifteen, and he has to distract himself when he worries he might collapse and crack his head open on the tile floor.

 

Jongin curiously eyes the many rows of perfume, aftershave bottles and hair products lining the shelf before him, and he doesn't even register his heart practically beating out of his chest when the familiar fluttering returns to his gut. It disappears, though, when Jongin averts his gaze and spots a box of what he assumes must be hair dye. It's not until Jongin comes to the realization that it's a half empty bottle of red hair dye that he bites the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. Frankly, Jongin didn't even know that Baekhyun regularly dyed his hair at Sehun's house, mostly because Baekhyun never mentioned it, but Jongin dismisses the thought when it accidentally slips out of his hands.

 

To Jongin's utter relief, it doesn't shatter upon hitting the bottom of the sink, but the loud clanking noise seems to echo forever as he picks it up and scrambles to place it back on the shelf. Eyeing his (clean) blouse, Jongin nearly smacks a hand on his forehead, because what on Earth was he thinking locking himself in the bathroom before asking Sehun for a clean pair of pants??? Now that Jongin thinks about it, he isn't even sure if supplying him with a clean pair of pants is even on Sehun's priority list right now, but he finds himself reaching for the door handle, anyway.

 

However, Jongin quickly realizes that he probably should've went with opening the door just a crack, instead of throwing it wide open, when he sees Sehun standing less than three inches from his face. Jongin only manages to catch a brief glimpse of Sehun's expression before he finds himself stumbling backwards with a squawk of surprise. Jongin narrowly manages to save himself a concussion by grabbing onto the sink, before he scrambles to cover the lower part of his body with the shower curtain. "Whatareyoudoing-"

 

"I'm sorry," Sehun stutters, an equally perplexed look on his face as he gestures inside the bathroom. "It's just-- I heard a noise and I thought you'd hurt yourself--" He clears his throat while he watches Jongin attempting to wrap the (transparent) curtain around his bare legs, before Vivi curiously skitters into the room. It's not until Jongin looks like he's on the verge of a mental breakdown that Sehun moves to close the door again. "Sorry, I'll-"

 

"I need some pants," Jongin squabbles, immediately regretting it when Sehun blinks. "I mean, I can't wear--" He gestures at his filthy jeans before he tightens his grip on the curtain. Sehun goes on to look at him, and Jongin is seconds away from suggesting that he'd be completely fine with Sehun handing him a dress, because the thought of his bare thighs being on display makes him want to become one with the wall. Thankfully, Sehun seems to get the hint, and Jongin nearly cries in relief when Sehun disappears from view after saying something about finding him something cozy to wear.

 

Trying not to topple over, Jongin manages to unstick the curtain from his thighs, which are clammy with rain water, and he's careful not to accidentally kick Vivi as he awkwardly stands in the middle of the room. Hearing Sehun fumble about upstairs, Jongin hopes he isn't being too much of a bother as his eyes roam around the bathroom. Not wanting to inspect the rest of the house in fear of being a bother, Jongin opts to wash his face in the sink, since he doesn't think he'll make it another minute with dry, cracking mud sticking to his cheeks. At first, Jongin worries that it might take hours to remove, given that it's pretty much hardened already, but it ends up slipping off like butter as he continues to splash his face with warm water. Jongin figures that he should probably up his face washing skills, though, when he realizes that he's somehow managed to drench his entire blouse, and it's not until he looks down and notices the large puddle of water by his feet that he curses under his breath. Not wanting to bother Sehun by asking for a clean shirt, as well, Jongin slips his blouse over his head and tosses it on the floor.

 

The Earthly smell of damp leaves and dirt fills Jongin's head as he gradually washes his face clean, and he finds himself blindly staring at the brown water circling the drain when his brain briefly blanks out. Through the flickering in his head, Jongin closes his eyes while the lukewarm droplets race each other down his cheeks. With the water rushing, Jongin finds himself so immersed in the sounds of Vivi lapping up the water on the floor that he doesn't register the knock on the door.

 

"I think these should fit, but let me know if they don't."

 

Jongin nearly jumps out of his own skin in surprise, and he's overly relieved that he manages to avoid suffering permanent brain damage after he goes on to slip on the puddle beneath his feet. Come to think of it, Jongin doesn't know what he underestimated more; his own vocal range (although he figures that his earth-shattering shriek isn't anything to brag about) or Sehun's lightning reflexes, which Jongin comes to realize when he registers himself grasping Sehun's arms for dear life. For a second, all that fills Jongin's head is the overwhelming smell of Sehun's perfume, but he quickly squashes the thought when he realizes that he's definitely drenching Sehun's hoodie, which has him internally panicking. The next thing Jongin knows, he's scrambling out of Sehun's grip, unable to control the string of garbled apologies that falls from his lips when Sehun sends him a concerned look. "I'msosorry," he babbles, expecting Sehun to kick him out the door in nothing but his boxers when he gestures at the watery mess on the floor. "I'll clean it up-"

 

"Never mind that, are you alright?" Sehun asks, genuine concern in his voice as he softens his grip around Jongin's arm. He waits for Jongin to nod before he ruffles his hair. "Be careful," he chuckles, ruffling Jongin's hair. Sehun goes on to comment on how cold the house is before he smirks. "You'd think somebody who recently won a dancing  trophy would have slightly better balance," he says, only to squawk when Jongin retaliates by splashing him in the face with (dirty) water. "Okay, I deserved that, now put some clothes on-"

 

"Fine," Jongin hums, unable to conceal his ear to ear grin when Sehun playfully tosses a pair of sweatpants at him. Jongin reluctantly stares at them for a minute until it hits him that he's literally wearing nothing but boxers, and he nearly sprains his wrists trying to wriggle them on one leg at a time. Despite being slightly short around the ankles, they're a perfect fit, which Jongin finds oddly relieving as he bends down and grabs his damp blouse off the floor. It practically sticks to his chest from all the water, but he forgets about it when Sehun goes on to ask him if he's hungry.

 

Jongin doesn't even get a chance to answer when his stomach growls loud enough for Vivi to send him a look, and Jongin wants to die in embarrassment when Sehun emits a loud laugh. Despite Sehun telling him that it's alright, Jongin ends up apologizing at least a million times as he follows Sehun to the kitchen. Sehun's kitchen is at least three times smaller than Baekhyun's, but Jongin finds it a hundred times cozier as he stares at the white chairs and table before him. Jongin doesn't even realize that he's shyly standing off to the side until Sehun gestures at one of the chairs, and it's not until he reluctantly sinks into one of them that he notices Sehun's History textbook stashed away near the edge. Suddenly remembering their project, Jongin opens his mouth to ask Sehun if he'd be willing to work on it, but the thought ends up slipping his mind when Sehun sends him an apologetic look.

 

"I wasn't really expecting guests, so I'm a little low on just about everything, I'm afraid," Sehun says as he gestures at the pantry from his spot by the counter. He's silent for a minute before he scratches the back of his head. "I could make us some kimchi spaghetti, though, if that's your style," he adds, to which Jongin responds by vigorously nodding his head up and down.

 

Jongin tries to ignore the feeling of the cold water on his blouse seeping into his skin as he goes on to watch Sehun turn on the stove, and he's lucky, because Vivi's loud barking masks his stomach growling. A part of Jongin wonders if he's obligated to ask Sehun if he needs any help, but Jongin immediately decides against it when he figures that he's definitely going to end up screwing up the whole process. Instead, he opts to swing his legs back and forth as he watches Sehun, whose movements are almost choreographic as he pours some oil into a frying pan. One thought leads to another, and before Jongin knows it, he's wondering just how many times Sehun has cooked for Baekhyun, as well as just how many times the latter has sat in this very room and shared meals with Sehun on a daily basis. Despite the fact that Baekhyun has never really talked about it, Jongin feels a pang of guilt in his chest as he swallows the lump in his throat.

 

The smell of cooking oil mixed with canned kimchi has Jongin's mouth watering, and he forgets all about the heavy feeling in his heart when he feels his pocket vibrate. After assuring himself that Sehun doesn't need any help over by the stove, Jongin fishes his phone out of his pocket, only to internally scream when he turns it on.

 

 

(6:30 P.M) From: Taemin

Where are you right now???

/T

 

 

At first, Jongin contemplates not responding at all, but he figures that he should, in case Taemin were to call him mid meal.

 

 

at Sehun's. go die.  //j

 

 

The reply is instant, and Jongin barely gets a chance to turn his phone off when it buzzes again.

 

 

(6:31 P.M) From: Taemin

I'm sorry for what I said, can we talk later?

/T

 

 

This time, Jongin stuffs his phone back in his pocket without responding, and he nearly bounces off the walls in excitement when he sees Sehun stirring up a large bowl of kimchi spaghetti by the stove. As he dismisses the realization of this being the first time that Taemin has ever apologized to him out of his head, Jongin lets Vivi his hands all over. If he lived alone, like Sehun, Jongin knows that he would buy himself a dog as soon as he moved in, and he finds himself nodding perhaps a little too enthusiastically when Sehun suggests he feed Vivi his dinner. After locating the dog food bag, Jongin carefully fills Vivi's bowl to the brim, and he goes on to watch Vivi practically inhale the mountain of kibbles before he turns to face Sehun.

 

Jongin watches Sehun cutting up a few colorful vegetables before he scratches the back of his head. He momentarily recalls Baekhyun ranting about Sehun's 'godly cooking skills' at some point last fall, but Jongin shoves the thought aside when Sehun sends him a small smile. "Have you, uh--" Jongin stuffs his hands in his pockets, ignoring the pain that shoots up his spine when he leans against the counter edge. "I mean, that looks good--" He awkwardly gestures at the (very red) contents of the frying pan, only to clamp his mouth shut when he realizes just how dumb that sounded. Jongin opts to stare at the puddles of water by Vivi's bowl, low-key praying that he won't end up slipping in that, too.

 

Sending Jongin a grateful nod, Sehun turns down the heat on the stove as he chuckles slightly. "It's not much, but it's enough, I hope," he hums. The stove light perfectly accentuates the contours of his face and Jongin ends up staring so intently that he doesn't register Sehun holding up a bowl in front of his face. "Could you please put this on the-"

 

"Yeahofcoursesorry," Jongin croak-garbles, nearly dropping the bowl in his hands as he scrambles towards the table. His stomach is growling so much that he has to sit back down to stop himself from swiping a tomato slice from the salad pile, and he absently stares at Sehun's History textbook for a minute before he drums his fingers on the tabletop. A part of Jongin wants to laugh, because he knows that if Sehun knew what his and Taemin's dinners looked like on a regular basis, he would take his words back in a heartbeat. The sound of the stove light turning off has Jongin whipping his head up, and he nearly bounces up and down in glee when he sees the large bowl of kimchi spaghetti in Sehun's hands.

 

Jongin blames his overbearing hunger for making him forget his table manners, and the next thing he registers is inhaling his food after Sehun places two plates on the table, all while practically  about how good it is. Jongin high-key blames Taemin's primate-like table manners for rubbing off on him as he wolfs down his food, and Jongin feels sort of embarrassed when he occasionally looks up and sees Sehun calmly twirling the red strands with his fork. His hunger gets the best of him, though, and Jongin ends up polishing off three whole portions before Sehun has a chance to finish his first. With his stomach now full (and on the brink of exploding), Jongin swings his feet back and forth as he patiently waits for Sehun to clear his plate across the table. A second later, his phone rings, but Jongin would rather die than talk to Taemin right now, so he ignores it while Vivi begs for food next to his chair.

 

However, it's not until his phone buzzes with a text half a minute later that Jongin irritatingly fishes his phone out to tell Taemin to quit texting him, only to blink when he looks at the screen.

 

 

 

(7:03 P.M) From: Taemin

Kinda freaking out about this whole thing right now, could use some company

/T

 

 

 

"Is something the matter?" Sehun asks, plate now cleared as he wipes his mouth with a tissue.

 

Jongin forces himself to wipe the irritated scowl off his face as he shakes his head. "Nothing," he mutters, practically tossing his phone aside. He finds himself absently poking a tomato slice on his plate with his fork when he feels Sehun's eyes burning holes in his head. "I mean, it's just-- Taemin's just nervous about this solo he agreed to do--" Jongin tries his best not to clench his jaw in anger when he recalls Taemin giving his room for Chanyeol, without his permission. "I mean, there's only a couple of days left, so he'll pull himself together--" He clamps his mouth shut in fear of boring Sehun with his mindless rambling, and Jongin internally panics when he looks up and sees the unreadable look on Sehun's face.

 

"I guess it's sort of my fault," Sehun says, shoving his plate aside. "I should've figured he'd be stressed and--" He blinks when Jongin flails his hands in all directions.

 

"It'snotyourfault," Jongin squabbles perhaps a little too loudly, considering Vivi looks up at him, before he runs a hand through his hair. "I mean, it's not-- It's not your fault, that's just the way he is and, uh, has been lately--" He mentally beats Taemin to a pulp when Sehun raises an eyebrow. Now that Jongin thinks about it, he has no clue as to why Taemin seemingly had no issues whatsoever with Sehun until they actually met in person, but he shoves the thought away when Sehun clears his throat.

 

Sehun is silent for a minute. "What's going on between you two, if I may ask?" He politely his head to the side when Jongin blinks.

 

"It's-- I mean, it's nothing," Jongin dumbly says. "I mean he's just terrible at handling stress, so he takes it out on me 24/7." He clears his throat. "Thanks for the, uh...the food, by the way, it was delicious." Jongin feels the familiar heat return to his chest when Sehun sends him a grateful smile, promptly making him forget about his roommate, and it's not until Sehun mentions something about cleaning up that Jongin scrambles off his chair. "I can do that, I can do it--"

 

Despite Sehun's protests, Jongin finds himself placing their dirty plates in the sink, because he figures that the least he can do is help Sehun out with the dishes as he turns on the sink. Jongin is careful not to accidentally splash himself when he feels his phone ring in his pocket, but he ignores it to the fullest when he sees Sehun leaning against the counter a few feet away. While Vivi loudly slurps water behind him, Jongin feels his heart race for reasons he doesn't even want to know, and it's not until Sehun lowly hums under his breath that Jongin worries his chest might explode. The words in his brain are weighing his tongue down like a bricks, making Jongin unable to open his mouth as he picks up the bottle of detergent. After Vivi charges towards the front door upon hearing a noise outside, the whole house is thrown into total silence, which in turn makes Jongin want to scream. In fact, Jongin is so tied up with keeping quiet that he doesn't realize that he's emptied half the bottle's contents into the sink, which he comes to realize when he looks down and sees the ten inch mountain of foam below. Well, .

 

Sehun reassuringly pats Jongin's shoulder when Jongin erupts in a fit of apologies. "At least they'll be nice and clean now, right?" he chuckles, unable to hold back his loud laughter when Jongin makes the mistake of rolling up his sleeves with foam all over his hands. Inevitably, Jongin retaliates by tossing an entire fistful of foam right in Sehun's face, and Sehun thankfully manages to turn away before he can get it in his eyes. "Be careful with that stuff-"

 

"Serves you right," Jongin snickers as he fights the urge to smear foam all over Sehun's hair. Even though he knows that their plates are spotless by now, Jongin can't help but flick foam in Sehun's face again when Sehun goes on to jokingly warn Jongin not to slip on the water on the floor. Jongin is halfway through contemplating stuffing foam down the back of Sehun's hoodie when his eyes land on the textbook on the table, which has him dying internally. "We need to do a good job on that," he mumbles, mainly to himself, and shivers at the thought of his History teacher keeping him for detention for failing to turn in a project next week. 

 

Nodding in agreement, Sehun adjusts the strings on his hoodie. "Of course we will," he says, a mischievous chuckle leaving his lips when he smears a handful of bubbles across Jongin's left cheek, making Jongin squawk. Jongin subsequently curses Sehun's lightning fast reflexes, because Sehun quickly ducks to avoid getting his hair painted with white foam. "You're not subtle, just so you--" Sehun cuts himself off when Jongin unapologetically tosses a handful of foam on his chest. "Okay, I guess I kinda deserved that-"

 

"I'm doing your dishes for free, so you'd better be kind to me," Jongin blurts out with slightly more cockiness in his voice than he'd intended, and he feels the rest of his words dying in his throat as he quickly focuses his attention back to the sink. As the thick layer of foam gradually disintegrates before his eyes, Jongin blinks when he suddenly feels his gut coiling to the point that he sort of regrets eating so much just now. It's not until he hears nothing but his own trembling pulse in his ears that Jongin swallows, and he prays that the foam staining his cheeks is doing a decent job at masking his blush when Sehun wordlessly stares at him from his spot a foot away. "These should be, uh-- These are probably clean now," Jongin dumbly mutters, praying he won't drop the plates in his hands as he places them on the counter. 

 

Jongin turns his head to ask Sehun where the paper towels are, only to nearly flinch when he sees Sehun standing less than ten inches from his face. It's not until Sehun casually shoves a hand in his pocket that Jongin curses himself for freaking out, and he scrambles for the plug so that he can take a seat at the table, because his knees are trembling so badly that Jongin worries he might collapse. However, his legs refuse to cooperate, and Jongin wants to scream when he finds himself awkwardly bolted to the floor, unable to move as he raids his brain for something to say. Jongin opts to listen to Vivi playing with a squeaky toy when he finds himself unable to open his mouth, but he forgets all about it when he catches a whiff of Sehun's strong perfume next to him. Even though Jongin barely trusts his own senses at this point, he would be lying if he said that he didn't just feel Sehun's warm breath tickling his cheek, but it's not like he's going to turn his head to find out. Jongin sort of wants to shove Sehun away, because he knows that Sehun can hear the fierce pounding in his chest, but he doesn't get a chance to when he feels a hand brushing against his cheekbone.

 

Whipping his head with enough force to give him whiplash, Jongin feels his mind blanking out when he hurriedly wipes foam off his face. "Sorry," he croak-garbles, ignoring the blush that creeps up his neck when Sehun sends him a smile. They're standing so close that they nearly knock heads when Jongin turning his head, just in time to see Sehun's eyes glittering with adoration. To say that Jongin's urge to smash the kitchen window only grows, since he might suffocate if he doesn't get some fresh air soon, would be an understatement. 

 

Sehun seems to notice Jongin nearing a permanent mental breakdown, to the latter's relief, because he whistles Vivi over when he retrieves a treat from his pocket. Jongin can only watch as Vivi practically swallows Sehun's entire hand before  it all over, all while he wants to take advantage of the fact that Sehun is no longer staring at him by dunking his head in the sink, since he figures the water must be ice cold by now. Jongin doesn't get a chance to before Sehun stands up and wipes his hands on his jeans. It's not until they fall into silence again that Jongin nearly cries, and he's seconds away from turning on his heel, bolting out of the house and running outside when Sehun speaks.

 

"Care for some dessert?" Sehun asks after running his hands under the sink. He only ruffles Jongin's hair when Jongin responds with a frantic nod, before he walks over to the fridge. "Are you and Krystal planning on performing elsewhere?" he absently asks while his eyes trail over the shelves.  

 

Jongin bites his lower lip when Sehun proceeds to rummage through the top shelf, and it's not until Sehun places a cold cup of bright pink goop in his hands that he feels the familiar lump returning to his throat. "I think so-- I mean, she's--" A part of Jongin wants to let go and let it fall to the floor, but he tightens his grip when Sehun retrieves one of his own. "Did...are these the ones-"

 

Nodding, Sehun closes the fridge door, eyes twinkling as he stares at the sugary treat before him. "Yup," he hums, words muffled as he shoves the spoon in his mouth, and Jongin definitely doesn't miss the way his expression changes when he swallows. "Way too many issues, that guy, it's a shame, really," Sehun sighs, mostly to himself, before he goes on to remark how they should make miniature desserts for puppies with a small chuckle.   

 

Trying to squash the coiling in his gut, Jongin eyes the coarse sugar, arranged to form a smiley face, until he forces himself to accept the spoon Sehun hands him. However, Jongin can't bring himself to even take a bite, and it's not until he feels the coiling in his gut being replaced with an icy sensation strong enough to make him want to vomit, that he bites the inside of his cheek hard enough to draw blood. The cold pang of guilt that threatens to suffocate him on the spot is enough for Jongin to slam the cup down on the table with perhaps a little more force than necessary, all while he avoids Sehun's eyes.

 

Shoving his own spoon in his mouth, Sehun sends Jongin a questioning, yet polite look as he leans back against the fridge. "Is something the matter?" he hums, only to put his spoon down when Jongin doesn't say anything. "Hey--" Sehun reaches out to wipe the leftover foam from Jongin's cheek, only to blink when Jongin swats his hand away.

 

Vivi loudly yaps at them, but Jongin pays it no mind as he swallows the lump in his throat. His palm stings like it's on fire, which only adds to the clouding in his head when he feels his phone vibrate. The agitated spinning in his head has him scrambling for his pocket before he has a chance to process what he's doing, and Jongin has to resist the urge to toss throw his phone clear across the room when Taemin's godforsaken contact photo greets him. It's not until Jongin notices Sehun's eyes flickering to the screen that he nearly breaks his wrist putting his phone away, while the swelling in his chest makes Jongin oblivious to Sehun repeatedly asking him if he's feeling okay. Sehun suddenly leans in, and Jongin blames the painful flickering in his head for making him shove Sehun away before he has a chance to process what he's doing.

 

Neither of them say a word for a full minute, and Jongin nearly flinches at the sound of his own voice when he opens his mouth to speak. He's thankful that he doesn't end up sounding like a frog with a bad cold when he manages to croak out the words. "I-- I think I gotta go," he mutters, running a hand through his hair.

 

Sehun visibly exhales, a lock of hair falling in his face and obscuring his eyes when he nods ever so slightly. "I understand."

 

 

8:50 P.M

 

 

An ice cold gust of wind slaps Jongin in the face when he stumbles outside, legs stiff as cardboard when he makes his way down the pitch black street. Despite no longer having Sehun's coat to keep him warm, the painful swelling in his chest makes Jongin oblivious to the biting cold as he swallows the lump in his throat. As the mountain thoughts continue to pile up inside his head, Jongin absently fishes out his phone, not even caring that his fingers are practically frozen solid already as he dials Baekhyun's number. Inevitably, it goes straight to voicemail, and Jongin finds himself torn between laughing and crying when he shoves his phone back in his pocket. It's so dark that he wouldn't be able to see his own hand in front of his face if it wasn't for the barely working streetlights, and Jongin is glad that he manages to memorize the path back home when his heart goes on to nearly burst out of his chest, all while his footsteps echo in the dead silent neighborhood.

 

Jongin finds himself standing outside his front door less than two minutes later, and he's way too exhausted to even think about the fact that Taemin will kick him back out the moment he walks in the door while he reaches for his back pocket. It doesn't take Jongin long to remember that he's isn't wearing his jeans, and he nearly cries in relief when he comes to realize that the door is unlocked. Inevitably, the pitch blackness of the hallway greets him, but Jongin is more focused on the fact that he doesn't hear any loud strumming, cymbals crashing and or Jongdae's melodic voice when he closes the door behind him. Figuring that Taemin must be hiding from him in the dark, ready to pounce and evict him, Jongin mentally braces himself as he carelessly kicks his sneakers off. His heart is pounding so fiercely that it threatens to send him over the edge, and Jongin bites back the sob that travels up his throat when he sees Taemin calling him again. Despite wanting nothing more than to head upstairs and to bed, regardless if he'll be forced to finagle himself into a comfortable sleeping position amid Chanyeol's drumming equipment, Jongin finds himself growling under his breath before he flies towards Taemin's room.

 

Mentally bracing himself for Taemin to deck him in the face and evict him, Jongin throws Taemin's bedroom door open with slightly more force than necessary. The smell of tobacco is overwhelming and Jongin can barely even see anything in the darkness, save for the mountain of clothes strewn across Taemin's desk chair, partially illuminated by the moonlight seeping through the window. It's not until Jongin hears absolutely nothing that he worries he might be going crazy, but the throbbing in his veins has him opening his mouth before he can stop himself.

 

"You think you're ing funny?" Jongin growls, unable to lower his voice when he hears rustling a few feet away. "You think you're ing funny with all of this? ing cut it out already, you goddamn--" He clamps his mouth shut when he finally spots Taemin standing by the window, calm as ever, and the mere thought of being dragged out the front door only makes Jongin clench his jaw in irritation.

 

Taemin seemingly takes his time as he stands up, walks over to the wall and rubs it in search of the light switch. It's not until the room is dimly illuminated that Jongin finds himself staring at Taemin's eyes, both of which are void of thick, black eyeliner, as he stares at Jongin from his spot across the small room. In fact, it takes Jongin a full minute to process that he is, in fact, staring at his roommate when Taemin runs a hand through his unstyled hair, reducing it to a fluffy, black mop atop his head. What catches Jongin off guard the most, though, is the soft, almost unrecognizably childish look on Taemin's face, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he simply waves his phone around, hoping Taemin will get the hint as he clenches his jaw in irritation.

 

"Didn't hear you come in," Taemin hums, voice surprisingly calm as he briefly stares at the darkening sky outside. He only raises an eyebrow when Jongin glares at him like he's grown a second head. "I'm assuming you saw-"

 

"Why do you keep doing this???" Jongin fights the urge to rip his (or rather, Taemin's) hair out when Taemin only looks away. "I don't know what the your deal is, but I-"

 

"Quit hollering like a madman, it's late," Taemin sighs, rolling his eyes as he smoothens out the wrinkles on his pajama shirt. Its baby pink color almost glows in the moonlight as he rubs his eyes with a tired pout, which Jongin figures he would have found drop dead adorable if it wasn't for his overwhelming urge to smother Taemin on the spot.  

 

"See? Do you see?" Jongin exclaims in exasperation, trying to squash the lump in his throat as he throws his hands in the air. "Is this because of that goddamn solo of yours? I mean, I'd help, but since I'm such a goddamn airhead according to you, I can't do anything about it." He growls in irritation when Taemin blinks. "Is that why you're calling me like some kind of-- Just to tell me how much of a I am?"

 

Taemin is silent for a minute. "I just wanted to-" 

 

"I've already ing told you I can't do jack about your goddamn performance, none of us can, no matter how ing anxious you may be, " Jongin hisses, seemingly stuck to the threshold as he grips his phone until his knuckles turn white. "So just let it the go and stop doing-- Whatever the you're doing--" A car alarm going off outside nearly makes him jump out of his own skin, but Jongin keeps his gaze fixated on Taemin while the latter pulls his sleeves down. This is a game, this has to be some sort of game. Suddenly remembering Taemin's text, Jongin forces himself to take a deep breath. "Fine." He ignores the way his heart coils when he audibly sighs. "What did you want to talk about? What's so goddamn important, Taemin?"

 

Eyes flickering to his guitar in the furthest corner of his room, Taemin scratches the back of his head. "I just wanted to let you know that Yeol left, so you could-"

 

"That's what you wanted to tell me?" Jongin exclaims, throwing his hands in the air in irritation, wondering why he isn't curled up with his face buried in his duvets by now. His spinning head is threatening to sweep him off his feet, but the mere idea of walking over and plopping himself down on Taemin's chair has him opting to lean against the doorframe for support, instead. The thought that he's no longer at risk of being ejected brings Jongin little comfort, though, and he sort of hates the noise of frustration that leaves his lips when Taemin shrugs.  

 

Stretching, Taemin nods. "I figured you'd want to--" His sentence ends in a low growl when Jongin proceeds to stare daggers at him. "Why don't you dilly dally back to Sehun instead of waking the neighbors with your confounded hollering?" Taemin chuckles, raising his voice as he glares at Jongin. "The hell are you yelling for, anyway? Shouldn't you be with the man of your dreams instead?"  

 

Jongin grits his teeth in anger, figuring that he would rather dive out the window than spill as much as a single word about the latest string of events to Taemin. The heat surging through his veins keeps him bolted to the threshold as he gestures at Taemin. "What the is your problem," he growls. "What's even with you nowadays? You've been acting like a such an-- Scratch that, you've been prancing around like you've got a stick up your goddamn ever since you met Sehun-- How many times do I have to tell you that I can't do anything about that solo of yours?" The painful coiling in his gut nearly makes him bend over and vomit all over Taemin's floor, but Jongin restrains himself as his gazedart back and forth between Taemin and the red leather jacket draped over his desk chair.

 

Taemin is silent for a minute before he sighs. "Lower your ing voice-"

 

"I'm sorry," Jongin scoffs, fighting the urge to walk over and sock Taemin square in the jaw. "Am I bossing you around-"

 

"Look at you, listen to yourself," Taemin says, glaring daggers at Jongin, who fights the urge to flip a table over. "Acting like you know everything there is to know and all." He shakes his head before he smirks. "The hell're you freaking out over, anyway? It doesn't suit your cute face-"

 

"You're one to ing talk," Jongin chuckles. He's about to continue when he feels his stomach churn when his phone vibrates in his back pocket. Knowing it's Sehun, he can't help the irritated growl that escapes his lips. "It's-"

 

"Is Romeo giving you the cold shoulder now or what?" Taemin mumbles, moving away in the nick of time to avoid tasting the back of Jongin's palm when Jongin flies across the room. "This isn't about the goddamn show, it never has been, so just shut the up about-"

 

"What is it with you?" Jongin exclaims, cursing when he hears his voice cracking. "And don't ing call him that." He growls in irritation when Taemin scoffs. "I mean, -- You've been-- I mean, six months ago, you were different, you were still an insufferable, selfish , but you were at least different--" His phone vibrates again, but Jongin ignores it as he glares at Taemin. Despite being two inches taller, Jongin fights the urge to cower when he suddenly feels exceptionally tiny under Taemin's gaze. "I know this is about your goddamn music, and I'm sorry that you think I'm too much of a to understand it for you-"

 

Taemin opens and closes his mouth before he shakes his head. "You don't ing get it."

 

"I'm glad you've got enough brains left to pick up on that," Jongin scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "And-"

 

"And you should be real ing careful about who you're calling selfish," Taemin growls, eyes gleaming with irritation. "Last time I checked, you weren't the one wasting your life having to sit through hours and hours of ing rambling-"

 

"Because you wanted to-- You wanted to hear about Sehun," Jongin wails in exasperation, even though he knows that it's only half true. "You know, if it wasn't for this stupid show of yours, I'd probably go so far as to think you were jealous," he mumbles, mainly to himself, and he misses the way Taemin's eyes flash when he runs a hand down his face. The pounding in his heart and spinning in his head makes Jongin unable to clamp his mouth shut when he clenches his hands into fists. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I'm real ing sorry that I'm the one thing in your life that isn't perfect and that I'm just some brain dead loser in love who just loves wasting your precious goddamn time--" Jongin bites down on his tongue hard enough to draw blood when Taemin throws his hands in the air, nearly whacking him in the face.

 

"Perfect?" Taemin echoes, to which Jongin responds with an eyebrow raise. He opens and closes his mouth, eyes flashing as he's seemingly torn between laughing out loud and smashing his fist through the window. "You think my life is perfect?"

 

"I know your life is perfect," Jongin scoffs and fights the urge to clench his jaw in anger when his chest swells with anger. "Your perfect band, your perfect music, your perfect brain, your perfect band mates who worship the ground you walk on--" He cuts himself off to take a breath when he worries he might pass out on the floor. Heart racing, Jongin's eyes roam around Taemin's dimly lit room, which is so messy that Jongin grimaces. When was the last time he cleaned??? "So I'm real ing sorry for ruining it all for you by talking about Sehun--" Jongin nearly jumps out of his own skin when Taemin growls in irritation, and Jongin low-key fears for his own life when Taemin sends him the darkest scowl he's ever seen on a human being.

 

Taemin is silent for a minute and Jongin momentarily considers bolting out of the room and locking himself in the bathroom when he speaks. "Look, I don't know exactly what goes on in that head of yours, but you need a serious reality check if you think my life is perfect." Taemin tiredly shakes his head before he eyes the darkened street outside. It's not until he sees the look of utter disbelief on Jongin's face that he sighs in frustration. "Yeol's this close to booting me from the group, I can't learn my goddamn for the life of me, the insurance company refuses to pay a single penny for the damage done to my goddamn guitar, my roommate treats me like his fulltime counselor every chance he gets, but I so do appreciate you constantly deluding yourself that everything's just fine and ing dandy." A shaky sigh leaves Taemin's lips when he exhales. The fragile noise lingers in the air before he opens his mouth, only to close it again. "And this isn't ing about Krystal, so don't you dare hit me with that bull."

 

Jongin finds himself unable to open his mouth as he watches Taemin shift until he's leaning back against the fogged window pane. His head is spinning so fast that he considers flopping down on Taemin's bed, but one look at the piles of laundry and music sheets strewn across the mattress has Jongin deciding against it. Jongin nearly flinches when his phone vibrates a third time, but he can't bring himself to lift his arms when Taemin emits another drawn out sigh.

 

"I don't know if that's what you wanted to hear, but that's...most of it, I guess," Taemin says, so quietly that Jongin barely catches it (despite standing less than five feet away), as he runs a hand through his hair. "Don't you have Sehun to talk to? I'm sure he's waiting for you to call." Taemin follows a passing car with his eyes before he grumbles something along the lines of 'Goddamn tonight' under his breath.  

 

Jongin nearly flinches like he's been burned at the mention of Sehun's name, and he fights the urge to scream into one of Taemin's pillows when he feels his throat closing up. Despite the words resting on the tip of his tongue, Jongin manages to swallow every last one as he stares at a group of late night joggers outside. It's not until they disappear from view that Jongin clears his throat, figuring that the silence must be speaking for itself when Taemin sighs. The splitting headache that hits him out of nowhere makes Jongin regret choosing to open Taemin's door in the first place, but he dismisses the thought before he can scream out loud.

 

Neither of them say a word for nearly five whole minutes, until the sound of a car honking its horn outside breaks the silence. Taemin seems to contemplate the peeling paint on the windowsill before he curses under his breath. "I'm not perfect, you know."

 

Jongin remains glued to the messy floor, clamping his mouth shut when he feels his phone vibrate a fourth time. A part of him wants to run outside and vomit all over the patio, given how much his stomach is churning, but he's unable to move a muscle as he swallows the lump in his throat. He listens to Taemin grumbling incoherencies to himself from his spot by the window, and Jongin opts to remain silent as he watches Taemin fiddle with the window lock. Jongin sort of blames his brain for messing with him, since he feels every cell in his body tremble when he recalls Sehun smiling at him from his spot by the kitchen counter earlier, and he's opening his mouth before he can stop himself. "I know."

 

Taemin's eyes flicker around the dark room. "I'm really not." He rubs the back of his neck when Jongin remains silent. "I mean, it's...there's-- , there's just something that's been, y'know, nagging at me lately, and--" Fidgeting with one of the curtains, which nearly blends into the darkness, he lets a long, drawn out sigh escape his lips. "And with all of this going on, y'know, lately, with you and Sehun and everything, it's-- I just lose my temper so ing quickly," he grumbles, visibly swallowing at the last word.  

 

Opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, Jongin tries not to let his confusion show as he watches Taemin run a hand down his face. Jongin blames the fog in his head for cutting off the filter in his brain and making him blink in puzzlement. He swallows, careful not to step on one of Taemin's sharp plectrums as he takes a step forward. The dark shadows nearly conceal Taemin's whole face, and Jongin blinks when he cranes his neck and sees the frantic glint scurrying around in Taemin's eyes.

 

Jongin keeps his eyes fixated on a pair of glowing headlights outside, and he nearly screams when he goes on to think about Sehun's silver ring. "I mean, I'm not perfect," he mumbles. "And-- Like, I'm not as airheaded as you seem to think I am, either," he adds, ignoring the painful tugging in his chest. 

 

Eyes following a group of teenagers drunkenly stumbling around outside, Taemin slowly nods. "I know," he says, reaching up and undoing the hatch, and he doesn't seem to mind his hair becoming even messier when he cracks the window open ever so slightly.

 

The cool air that fills the small room nearly has Jongin collapsing with relief, and he clears his throat while he keeps his eyes fixated on a pile of Taemin's clothes on the floor. "So you know I'm not dumb, and you know I'm not perfect," he slowly says, almost like he's trying to convince himself, "so why can't you just tell me what's bothering you?" It's not until Jongin looks down that he mentally smacks himself, because he didn't even realize that he'd been wearing Sehun's sweatpants all along, but he dismisses the thought. The sound has Jongin's veins burning with irritation, but he doesn't get a chance to tell Taemin to shut his mouth when the latter speaks.

 

"You wouldn't understand," Taemin simply says, shaking his head. "It's-"

 

"I could try," Jongin blurts out, to which Taemin responds by visibly swallowing. A part of Jongin sort of wants to inform Taemin that if it's anything music related, he's already setting himself up to fail, but he opts against it. "I mean-- Yeah." The heaviness weighing down his brain has him fighting the urge to lie down before he can pass out.  

 

Taemin promptly slams the window shut, which nearly makes Jongin jump out of his own skin. "I mean, you'll get it, but you're not going to like it."

 

"Why not???" Jongin squawks and winces when he subsequently feels like his brain is being sawed down the middle. "I mean-"

 

"God, you're just--" Taemin crosses his arms over his chest. He's silent for a minute before he sighs to himself. "You know, for someone who's so insanely hung up on love as you are, you sure are blind to it." 

 

"Why--" Jongin cuts himself off, worrying he might actually pass out on the floor if he doesn't get to bed soon. The sob traveling up his throat makes him want to smash the window, and he has to emit a low chuckle to distract himself. "Why am I still bothering with you-" 

 

"Jongin," Taemin sighs, gaze nearly pleading as he stares at Jongin, "isn't it obvious-"

 

"See, there you go again with the--" Jongin clenches his jaw in frustration, because who the actual hell does Taemin think he is??? "You can't just call me up just to rub your false goddamn sympathy in my face and treat me like some idiot, not after all this--" He runs a tired hand through his hair. "I don't know what the you take me for, but I already said I'll try to understand, and it'd be swell if we could fix this at least somewhat for a goddamn change." Jongin flails his hands everywhere, which he immediately regrets when he catches a whiff of Sehun's strong perfume, which has him wanting to double over and scream at the top of his lungs. ing damn it.

 

Taemin shakes his head from his spot by the window. "It won't fix anything," he deadpans, Adams' apple bobbing up and down while he eyes the deserted street. He's silent for a minute before he turns to face Jongin with an unreadable expression. "Look, I could show you, but trust me when I tell you that it won't end up fixing ." He stares at Jongin, who looks like a question mark. "Okay?"

 

Jongin opens his mouth to respond, but the words die in his throat when he nearly jumps out of his own skin, and he's thankful that he doesn't topple over when he subsequently finds himself stumbling backwards. At first, Jongin barely even registers the pair of (surprisingly) warm lips against his own due to the painful swelling in his chest, but it's not until the strong scent of tobacco fills Jongin's head that he can practically feel Sehun's warm lap and hands against him, which only makes Jongin bite back a loud sob as Taemin grasps his shoulders. Jongin feels his right cheek tingle like it's on fire when Taemin caresses his face with his thumb, but Jongin doesn't have it in him to scramble out of the room after every single thought melts to a puddle of mush in his brain.

 

Sehun's soft hands is the only thing Jongin manages to register when he feels his back hitting the soft mattress, which is littered with music sheets and used plectrums. The sound of tires screeching outside fills Jongin's head before he hears his own needy mewls echo in his ears, and he barely feels Taemin's soft hand wiping his tears when all he can think about is Sehun, Sehun, Sehun. A spark of electricity shoots up Jongin's spine when Taemin goes on to attack his neck with his mouth, and Jongin simply allows Sehun's strong perfume to fill his body before the familiar wave of bliss engulfs his head.                

 

---