Out of all the girls my heart could’ve chosen. It had to choose her.

‘I really love her… I truly do, but this has to stop. I can’t hurt her like this.’
Those were my thoughts two weeks ago, but it was selfish of me to think that I could fix everything on my own. She has her say in everything to.

After we had been driven into a corner for the so-maniest time on date night, I told her it had to stop and saw her crumble in front of me.
‘Don’t you love me enough for us to overcome this?‘ She asked before I left. I couldn’t get myself to say anything. It hurt too much.
I left a broken woman that day, but she still holds my heart and a man without a heart can’t simply continue to exist as he has before.

Everyone saw it.
The fans, the managers, my brothers, but I never told them.
At one point, Minseok came to me and asked: ‘Why is Y/N never around anymore?’ and I broke down. I explained everything to him and he told me it was foolish of me to think I could save her by leaving her.
He told me I probably hurt her more by leaving than those assaults could ever hurt. 

It was a slap in the face, but I needed it.
I wasn’t thinking rationally at the time. To me, it felt like it wasn’t time for us yet, but it was and it still is.

Yes, it still is.