The sun was barely peeking over the horizon as Jonghyun walked down his steps toward the beach and the ocean. There was a blanket thrown over his shoulders, light yellow coffee cup held between his palms, as he shuffled over the cool sand. He liked going barefoot, feeling the gandules shift between his toes. His sleep shorts only reached to his mid thigh and he shivered slightly in the early morning breeze coming from the Sea. It had been almost three months since he had moved out here to the coast. Sitting in that apartment never did him much good, waiting for Jinki to come home.

              Once he finally accepted he wasn’t going to, Jonghyun took it upon himself to move out here. Deep down he could admit that the main reason he loved the sea was the soft, warm memories it reminded him of Jinki. It probably wasn’t completely healthy, but Jonghyun felt more at peace and healed than he had in years. Kibum fully believed that he had moved out here to be closer to his editor. Which was a good enough excuse other than, ‘my husband moved here like four years ago and I miss him so I came to mope’. 

              He was rather early this morning he realized as he noticed the runner coming up the beach. He usually saw them run past him as he stepped onto the porch, too far away to see their face, but he figured they had to live near here. They ran almost every morning, starting about a month ago. After drinking the last bit of his coffee, Jonghyun turned to look toward the runner. It took him a moment to focus his eyes on the person’s face, but it didn’t matter for he recognized the voice coming from their lips before his mind could process the visual input. “Jonghyun?”

              Standing there was Jinki, brow furrowed and lips parted, frozen in his spot as the waves rolled against his feet.

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              Jinki had found this strip of beach a few months after he had moved out here, but with his research schedule and at the time, grad school, he hadn’t been able to run it as much as he wished. Now with the first part of his research complete, he was home on a more permanent basis and going to the office he and Minho shared at the aquarium for work instead, and every morning he’d run this length of beach. Music played through his headphones, the wind whipping his hair around his head, as his feet hit the sand with each step. Up ahead he could see someone standing in the early morning light, watching the sea. He figured it must be one of the residents with their lack of real pants and the cup held between their hands.

              As he got closer, he was shifting his feet to change his route when he recognized the person and his feet stumbled. His thoughts fizzed out as he blinked a few times. The man before him should be across the country where he had left him four years ago. The name slipped past his lips as he pulled the headphones from his ears, heart pounding in his chest as he tried to remember how to breathe. “Jonghyun?”

              The coffee cup in his hands falls as his eyes widen, a gasp leaving his lips as he takes a step back. “Jinki...I-”

              “You’re not supposed to be here.”

              Jonghyun’s brows furrowed as he tugged his blanket tighter around his shoulders. “I beg to differ. This is my beach.”

               “Here, on the coast. Wait-” His chest aches a little, a flutter as he asks, “What do you mean your beach?”

              Jinki follows Jonghyun’s hand as he points behind him. “I live there. Have for about five months now.”

              The ache was increasing as he frowned, “You said you couldn’t move to the coast with me. For us.”

              “I did.”

              “And you’ve moved here now?”

              “Yes.”

              “I see.” He swallows thickly as his gaze falls before sighing, eyes fluttering. “I guess you’re here with someone then?”

              When he looks up, Jonghyun’s face is scrunched up, “What makes you ask that?”

              If you wouldn’t come for me, Love, someone had to be enough.” With a sad smile he shrugs. “You look.. Well. It was nice to see you.”

              He’s about ten feet from Jonghyun when he stops, hearing his voice barely louder than the waves and the birds chirping as they flew overhead. “Don’t you dare walk away again.”

-----

              “What?”

              “I’m not here because of someone else.” Jonghyun huffed, arms crossed over his chest. “I’m here because… I couldn’t sit there in what we made our home any longer. It was suffocating waiting for you to come back but you never did Jinki. You walked out of that door and never looked back. You never came back Jinki.”  

              “I was under the impression you wouldn’t want me to.”

              “What gave you that god awful impression?”

              “The entirety of my Ph.d. there was nothing from you Jonghyun. When I graduated, I figured I had nothing to come home to.” Jinki chewed on his lip for a moment, hands in his pockets as he shrugged. “I’d have followed you wherever you wanted to go Jonghyun. I tried so hard to understand why you didn’t want to come with me, but I don’t.”

              Jonghyun can feel his bottom lip trembling, his hands beginning to shake as he tightens them around his blanket. He finds Jinki’s eyes confidently even if his vision is becoming blurry. “I thought you always knew you’d always have me to come home to.”

              “You are my home Jonghyun. That hasn’t changed and that’s why it hurts everyday.” Jinki’s gaze lowers again, watching the sand he gently kicks with his foot crumble. “I’ve tried so hard to move forward, to fill the gap you left in my life, but nothing works.”

              “Jinki…”

“              Maybe I never should have left.” When Jinki finds his eyes again, he’s softly smiling even with the slow tears falling from his eyes. “If I had stayed, we’d probably have that baby we talked about… the house we wanted and the dog… I life we were meant to have. Instead we have this.” He gestured wildly with his hands, eyes squeezing shut as he shook his head. Jonghyun could see the shakiness of his breathing with the faltering rise of his chest.

              After a beat of silence, Jonghyun whispered. “You took off your ring.”

              “So did you.”

              He fished it out from under his shirt, holding the gold bang between two fingers. “I couldn’t part from it completely.”

              “I-” He can see Jinki swallow thickly, his tongue peeking out to run over his lips before he was fishing something out of his pocket. It took Jonghyun a moment to realize it was his wallet. A moment later he lifted his matching ring. “You aren’t the only one who couldn’t part from it, Jonghyun.”

              “Why’d you keep it if you felt I didn’t want you to come home?”

              Jinki shrugged, replacing the ring and the wallet into this pocket. “Because I still love you and I felt completely empty when I tried to leave it in my dorm room that first week of classes.”

              “I love you too. You know that.. Right?”

------

              He gazed softly over at Jonghyun, teetering on the balls of his feet for a moment before sighing. “For a long time, I doubted you did. A part of me wanted me to believe that you didn’t love me anymore and that’s why you let me go alone.”

              He dropped his eyes then, knowing he couldn’t handle seeing Jonghyun look at him like that. Not again. “If I had been selfish and kept you there, we’d probably have a baby together, but I’d feel so guilty for forcing you to give up your dream for me. I should have come with you. I should have put you over my silly reasonings because I love you so much, Jinki. I did then and I do now. Time and distance didn’t change that for me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ending it, for making you leave.”

              “Jonghyun-”

              “I should have reached out. I missed you so ing much, Jinki. I moved out here because I miss you and the sea always reminded me of you, calmed me in a way you do.” Jonghyun’s eyes fall then, bottom lip pulled through his teeth before he shakes his head and softly muttering. “But you’d never come back.” He smiles then as he lifts his gaze after grabbing his dropped cup. “It’s good to see you. Goodbye Jinki.”

              Jinki softly curses as he watches him go before pushing off the sand and crossing the distance between them easily. He softly curls his fingers around Jonghyun’s wrist, flashing a smile as the man whips around to look at him. The tears glistening on his cheeks makes the words falter on his lips for just a moment before he finds them again. “I’m four years late, but can I come home, Love?”

-------

              Jinki’s smile is falling from his face in the increasing silence and Jonghyun can’t have that, so instead of answering with words he drops his cup once more. Both of his hands are holding Jinki’s face, pushing into his hair, as he tilts his head just enough to kiss him. The kiss is deepened quickly, Jinki’s arms moving around his waist and fingers tightening in his shirt to keep him close. It’s like a rubber band pulled taunt was let go, them snapping together and crashing together. When they parted, their foreheads are pressed together, their rushed breathes mingling between the small space between their lips. Jonghyun grins widely, laughing softly. “You already are, Jinki.”

              Jonghyun's eyes widen as Jinki presses his face into the crook of his neck as the trembles of his body are felt as he cries. "I'm never leaving home again." 

              And he fully believed him. They had a lot to talk about, to work through, but all that mattered right then was feeling the other in their embrace.