He does this sometimes: accidentally waking up before the 7AM alarm that forces him up and out of bed to get ready for work. He usually tries to go back to dreaming to no real avail, dragging the sleep warm body of his boyfriend closer as if his heat and general cuddliness would somehow induce slumber. It never works though, and he’s usually stuck awake two hours before he needs to get up, staring at Minseok’s sleeping face.

He looks different in rest. Becoming, somehow, even softer and sweeter, losing more of his years in the way his tiny pink hands rest underneath his face, pursing his lips and squishing his cheeks. And as much as he loves his face in every way possible, he makes Jongin feel like a goddamn lecher and a cradle robber even though Minseok is older than him by four years.

But whenever he tells this to him, all he gets is a half confused, half amused look and the reassurance that Jongin looked even younger with his big eyes and handsome features. But tell that to the countless older women who had taken to glaring at him across the room for “taking advantage of that poor boy” and telling him that he “should be ashamed” at himself for dating someone clearly still in high school when he should be looking for people around his age. He was clearly at a disadvantage here on many points and not just because of his height either.

Jongin has to remember to ask Minseok to stop wearing his hoodies when they go out because that was the real culprit. Nothing looked more adorable than Minseok with a too big sweater, the sleeves hanging past his fingertips like paws on a cat. And it didn’t help that Minseok only knew how to dress himself in two ways (“my mom dressed me up for my first day at kindergarten” and “what do you mean sweatpants aren’t formal wear?”) so it was a toss up between him dating a high school freshman or a college freshman on any given day. Not that he would ever want to get rid of any said age bending outfits, they were all too cute and way too fitting to ever toss out.

He stays like this - one arm completely numb after stubbornly pillowing Minseok’s head through the entire night, and the other thrown over his waist - for an hour before the threat of being late to work (again) begins to manifest into a physical creature and loom over him like a curse. He winces, trying to gently pry his dead arm out from underneath his boyfriend. Minseok’s nose wrinkles, face already stretching into adorable looks of discontent before settling again into sleep with a quick smack of his lips. Jongin freezes with his sleeve only a quarter of the way out and sighs at himself for being so goddamn soft. He swears to all the gods that he’s usually not this sappy, but Minseok brought out the inner romantic in him in the worst ways possible.

And it doesn’t help that Minseok had been coming home a little more stressed and despondent than the day before. The new principal the school had hired was, suffice to say, an asshat and had been giving him a hard time because he was a newer employee and, apparently, an easy target.

Jongin fought that at first, in disbelief that his sweet, adorable, but at times very terrifying, boyfriend was giving into the bullying; god knows he almost went off the deep end and promised to talk to Minseok’s boss and maybe, possibly threaten his life and intimidate him into not even thinking about breathing in his direction. But ever stubborn and selfless Minseok snapped him out of his usual dramatics with an exasperated look and kept at it because didn’t want to be a financial burden on Jongin. Teaching wasn’t the easiest or most lucrative gig but it still paid the bills and put food into both their endless stomachs.

Minseok had always been a little silly, (he had always kept his mischievous streak hidden until people got closer and realized what a little he actually was) but his insistence that he could deal with it was the most ridiculous thing Jongin had ever heard. Minseok shouldn’t have to deal with a boss who put the blame for every little thing onto his shoulders in the first place; he shouldn’t be suffering longer hours doing things that a secretary should be doing. He might tell his boyfriend he won’t do anything, but that dickwad principal was going to get an interesting visit soon and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Hmmm, what are you doing?” Minseok mumbled, snapping Jongin out of another daze.

He rubbed at his eyes with loose fists and gave a full body yawn, staring blearily at him with squinted eyes and messy hair.

“Um,” Jongin replied, brain still in sleep mode. “Trying not to wake you up?”

Minseok stared at him with intense, drowsy eyes for a silent minute before shrugging.

“Well, I’m awake now. Want me to make you breakfast?”

——

Jongin stared at Minseok’s back as he stood at the stove, smiling to himself at the sight. There was something inherently precious at the sight of his boyfriend at work. He was all slow, deliberate movements, neatly pouring batter into a sizzling pan and patiently waiting for the pancake to fully cook before flipping it. His space was clean and immaculate, dirty dishes in an organized pile in the sink, ready to be washed in a few moments. His brows were furrowed in concentration, little pink tongue peeking out behind his lips in an automatic gesture of concentration. Jongin felt a little useless but he had already set the table, at Minseok’s insistence, and he had cooked breakfast for them yesterday so it was Minseok’s turn anyway.

Thinking back on yesterday put it into clear contrast just how different the two of them were from each other. Minseok had put up a polite, but clearly strained, smile at the sight of the disaster area that was formerly known as their kitchen counter. The omelette had been a little runny and the bacon a little undercooked but Minseok ate it all with gusto, plopping a kiss on both his cheeks as thanks before hopping into the shower to get ready for work. Thankfully it was never the actual food that put Minseok off, but the mess he left behind. Jongin was like a tornado in the kitchen, finding and using utensils and little bowls when he didn’t need to and it drove Minseok to the brink of insanity and back.

He would be forever thankful that their disconnected personalities never became a point of contention between them. They always dealt with it quietly, exasperatedly - Jongin with Minseok’s more retentive habits and Minseok with Jongin’s catastrophic organizational skills. Besides, they always fit where it mattered- kitchen habits aside. Preferring the quiet to the noise that seemed to permeate their lives, seemingly bold from one moment to painfully shy the next, obstinate about the most ridiculous things like what temperature to keep the apartment at (close to freezing) and permissive of seemingly important events (like trying to change the date of their anniversary every so often to spice it up).

No, they weren’t a perfect fit, but it was as close as it got.

“Hmm,” Minseok murmured to himself. “Jongin, do you want some fruit too?”

“Okay.” Jongin replied, still a little lovestruck and dazed.

Minseok turned around and met his eye; he must have look as sappy as he felt because Minseok immediately ducked his head, a pretty flush crawling up the side of his neck after seeing Jongin’s face. Jongin only grinned, feeling a little silly as he slouched back in his chair.

“You’re so pretty,” Jongin mindlessly complimented, appreciating the contrast of pink, flushed skin against the dark of Minseok’s pajamas. “Minseok-hyung, you’re very pretty.”

Minseok let out a muffled groan, burying his burning face in his sweater covered palms. He very nearly dripped pancake batter into his hair as he forgot about the ladle he held in one hand. He jerked back at the last minute, holding the ladle over the sink before batter could drop onto his spotless countertop. Minseok threw a glare at Jongin (as if it were his entire fault that Minseok was so easy to fluster in the early mornings) and tried to frown. It came out looking more like a half aborted smile and Jongin laughed heartily.

“Stop that,” Minseok scolded, going back to his pancake making. “You’re the one who got scouted to be a model in college.”

It was Jongin’s turn to blush as he remembered a drunken mishap that lead him to possibly being the face of a relatively well known men’s wear brand. He couldn’t take it, of course, because blowing his cover to become a model would have made him the laughing stock of his entire department. The thought of work sobered his peaceful morning breakfast and he resisted the urge to sigh.

“Ta-da!”

Minseok brandished an artfully arranged bowl of fruit and a stack of perfectly round pancakes in front of him with a flourish. Jongin’s heart stuttered to a happy stop at the sight of an adorably lopsided heart made of jam on the top of his first pancake.

“Sap,” Jongin said, his entire body feeling a little weak from the sheer adoration he had for the man sitting across from him. “You’re getting sentimental in your old age.”

Minseok leveled him a severe look as he piled his own plate with a pancake, drowning it in syrup to an almost unbearable degree.

“I don’t want to hear that from you. It took fifteen minutes for you get the feeling back in your arm because you didn’t want to move your boyfriend’s heavy head.”

“Hey! His cute heavy head, thank you very much.” Jongin winced as Minseok just looked at him with feigned unamusement. “Plus you looked so tired and I wanted to watch you sleep a little more.”

He speared a piece of fruit in his mouth, thinking as he chewed once, twice.

“I mean that in the least creepy way possible.”

“Uh huh.” Minseok said, looking at him with narrowed eyes.

They were alight with mirth though and Jongin snickered into his orange juice.

“What time are you going to be done with work? Do you want me to pick you up?” Jongin asked, automatically pouring Minseok his own glass of orange juice.

“No,” Minseok replied thoughtfully. “Don’t worry about picking me up, I think I’ll be working late anyway.”

Jongin stopped.

“Is your boss giving you problems again?”

Jongin very nearly growled at the thought of that taking advantage of Minseok’s hardworking disposition. If he heard one more indiscretion, one more miniscule hint of a complaint from Minseok, he was going to go to the school and literally tear their principal a new .

“Don’t worry,” Minseok replied, half amused, half fond. “I got assigned a new student teacher and we’re going to do some planning and prep after school. I’ll make dinner during my lunch break so don’t wait up okay?”

Jongin really couldn’t believe how lucky he was sometimes.

“I don’t mind picking you up,” Jongin insisted, taking Minseok’s hand in his, rubbing at his tiny palm in reassurance. “And don’t worry about dinner, let’s go out. I’ll pay.”

Minseok just laughed and shook his head; he stood up and pulled Jongin closer by the hand to press a kiss on his forehead. He walked over to the coffee maker to pour himself a cup of coffee to Jongin’s dismay - he could never learn to love the taste of coffee even when it was mixed with Minseok.

“How about this? You can pick me and we can go to the grocery store and make dinner together.” Minseok compromised, walking back and brushing away the hair from Jongin’s forehead. “And we really need to stop eating out, thinking of the money we could save and the weight I could have lost. I’m going to have to start dieting again because of you.”

“No!” Jongin protested with a severe pout on his face. “I love you with or without the weight you think you need to lose, so no more dieting.”

He pulled Minseok so suddenly that he had no option but to sit in his lap lest he risk the chance of spilling his coffee everywhere. 
“Jongin!” Minseok yelped, putting his coffee mug down on the table. “I could have spilled that on the both of us!”

“Shh, stop living in the past and listen to me.” Jongin said, grabbing Minseok firmly by the hips. “You have to stay cute and soft forever, like look at how nice your chest is right now, it’s so fun to play with.”

He reached up and squeezed Minseok’s chest a little shamelessly, but he wasn’t lying - Minseok with actual meat on his bones was such a lovely sight. There were many days that Jongin woke up to his head unconsciously using Minseok’s chest as a pillow, nuzzling his face into the crook of his neck. And don’t even get him started on the wonder that was his thighs. Plus, beefy and buff Minseok scared him a little bit, he looked like he could break him in half over one knee and toss his body into a garbage can (and Jongin kind of wanted him to? It was all very conflicting).

“Jongin! You little brat, I swear to God.”

The flush was high on Minseok’s cheekbones as he slapped Jongin’s hands away from his person, flustered and embarrassed. Jongin could already feel the answering blush growing on his own face. He didn’t mean to be so candid but he felt very strongly about Minseok’s body, and dieting, especially Minseok’s destructive version of it, was not allowed in their house.

“Please, I hate it when you diet, hyung.”

Jongin was not above using cuteness as a weapon and Minseok always folded like paper when faced with it.

“Ugh, it was a joke anyway,” Minseok replied, acting as if he didn’t give in five seconds or less. “I’m too busy to work out or diet right now.”

Minseok refused to look at him, sipping at his coffee generously, knowing without even looking at him that Jongin was smug.

“Good,” Jongin said, satisfied. “C’mon, I’ll finish eating and clean up, and you can use the shower first.”

Minseok downed the rest of his coffee with a gulp, eager to get his day started and leave the embarrassment of his morning behind. He hurried along down the hallway and soon enough Jongin heard the shower running as he finished up the last of his orange juice. He smiled to himself, still feeling a little sappy and silly, basking in the afterglow of their usual domestic routine. His coworkers never understood why he was so eager to get home every day when all the exciting stuff happened on the clock, but they probably didn’t have a solid relationship like he did.

It was hard to find someone and settle down in his line of work and he thanked a different deity every day that he somehow stumbled first into a relationship with Minseok. Granted, Minseok did most of the work, with Jongin clumsily catching up with him several moments later. If it weren’t for Minseok confessing in the first place, he would have stayed oblivious and pining after a man who clearly loved him back. And God knows he’d be as miserable and jaded as the rest of his team if he had no one to come home to every day.

Minseok made those long, arduous and often, mentally destructive days and soothed over the hurts and the wounds like a miracle balm. It didn’t matter that, at the end of most workdays, Jongin didn’t even feel human. He could just come back to Minseok’s smile and leave everything behind on their front step. Minseok was light, he was good, he was home.

And that’s why he could never find out what Jongin actually was. Because if he did, he would leave and never come back and Jongin knew he would never recover from that. It was deceitful and manipulative to keep Minseok in the dark about something as important as what he did every day for a living, but at this point, Jongin wanted to be as happy as he possibly could be before the inevitable crash and burn their relationship was headed towards. He knew Minseok would find out sooner or later - he always found out.

He also knew that Minseok deserved better, deserved the entire world and then some, but Jongin had always been a selfish man. He didn’t want to let go just yet.