Yang Jeongin wondered if it had always been like this.

By this, he meant the way Hyunjin was pressed against him, barely any space in between them as the two boys shared a single bed. It was the way Hyunjin giggled whenever there was a funny scene on the show they're watching, a familiar trill of laughter that the younger boy could probably pick out from a mile away. It was the comforting scent of Hyunjin’s sweater, soft and calming, something a little like home. It had always been that way; the answer to his question was a clear yes. It was also how Hyunjin's hand inevitably found its way towards Jeongin's head, patting it gently before absentmindedly running his fingers through the smooth strands of hair as if in a trance.

It was comforting and nerve wrecking all at once.

That may have been where things started to become different.

He wasn’t sure when it began; the way his heart would race, at least, the same thing that coincided with the comfort that Hyunjin gave him. It seemed almost impossible to have two such opposite reactions to one thing, but Jeongin had no other way to describe it. He knew that Hyunjin had always been there, that was for sure. A solid presence who loved to make himself known through small hugs, sweet words, and that soft, beautiful laugh. From the very moment they met, Hyunjin was transparent. The older boy was the same throughout the years. That could only mean that if anything changed, it would have to be himself, right?

There was nothing new with the things that Hyunjin did.

So why did Jeongin suddenly feel like his heart was going to burst through his chest from the older boy’s touch alone?

“Innie? Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Jeongin responded, snapped out of his thoughts in a daze.

Hyunjin didn’t stop his hair, “you weren’t reacting to the show all of a sudden. That joke just now was totally your style.”

“Sorry,” the younger boy replied sheepishly. “I was distracted by something. Can we rewind it?”

“Sure.”

The hand that was on his head left in favour of adjusting the show on the phone. It was literally a weight off of Jeongin, who was able to breathe a little better at the lack of contact. Yet the part of him that wasn’t filled with relief was filled with the exact opposite—a feeling of loss, a sort of yearning, a voice at the back of his head that wanted Hyunjin’s hand back on his head, even if he also knew that the distance wouldn’t stay for long. Sure enough, as soon as Hyunjin managed to rewind the show a few minutes back, he resumed his previous position. Long fingers weaved through the other’s hair like it belonged there.

“Thanks,” the younger said quietly, trying his best not to melt into the touch.

It didn’t take Jeongin that long to realize what changed, really. He was young, but he wasn’t exactly naive. It didn’t seem all that surprising to himself, either, but he did take his time actually processing it. He didn’t think it would happen so quickly. When did he even begin to like Hyunjin, all the more fall in love? Then again, it wasn’t like he ever disliked the other boy, either. There was nothing to dislike, after all. Maybe he’s just been biased from the start. Maybe falling in love was as inevitable as Hyunjin patting his head and snuggling close whenever they were together. He would never be able to pinpoint exactly when he fell in love.

Jeongin figured he could probably answer why.

It wouldn’t be hard, all he had to do was talk about Hyunjin, and that would give him all the answers he needed.

Where would he begin, though?

The older boy radiated something that Jeongin couldn’t describe sometimes. It went without saying that he was handsome, but that was barely scratching the surface of what made Hyunjin who he was, a shallow understanding of someone who was actually pretty complex. His looks aside, Hyunjin radiated with passion and hard work. Traits that Jeongin admired in everybody, but all the more so in the older boy, who would still manage to laugh despite the hardships. The same boy who could just as easily take control of dance practice when needed.

It was also his charisma on stage, a magnetic pull he had that drew anybody in. Jeongin was certain he wasn’t the only one who still got goosebumps when it came to Hyunjin’s dancing and even the way he rapped along with it. The fact that such a powerful stage presence came with a boy who would shuffle sleepily through the dorm during early mornings and cling to the nearest person also made him pretty adorable, if Jeongin had to admit. Everybody called him cute, being the youngest and all, but Jeongin would gladly surrender that title to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin was also anything but shy when it came to what he wanted, too.

All he wanted was just a little bit of attention, really.

Anybody could see that the older boy clung to Jeongin, maybe even a bit excessively, but the younger knew there were two sides to that story. Some part of him never really felt the need to push Hyunjin off during moments like that. The same part of him that whispered a question along the lines of just when did he start to like Hyunjin? Was there ever a period where he didn’t? Was he just oblivious this whole time? He enjoyed drowning in Hyunjin’s affection as much as the other boy enjoyed pouring it all over the younger. That much was clear.

Not that he would ever admit it.

“That was a good episode,” Hyunjin commented. If he noticed how Jeongin went silent towards the end again—knowing him