one.

 

Looking back, Hyunjin could only vaguely remember the first time he kissed Jeongin.

 

It was nothing extreme, that was for sure. They were still young then; debut was just about to come up, practice hours took longer, and everybody was tiring themselves out each day. In Hyunjin’s case, he was notorious for staying in the practice room longer than everybody else. He was passionate about dance, desperate to prove himself to be more than just a pretty face, and knew hard work was the way to go.

 

Sometimes, he would have some of the other members with him. When he was with the rest of the dance line, they each had their own thing. Felix would keep track of the beat more, matching each move to the song. Minho would pick up on movements that weren’t too smooth, making them repeat things till they were perfect. All three of them would work more and more, eventually teaching the other boys whatever they picked up on.

 

Most of the time, Hyunjin had Jeongin under his wing.

 

The youngest member was everybody’s favourite by default, but Hyunjin doted on him particularly more than the rest. He had always had a weak spot for Jeongin, but he also knew when to take the younger boy seriously. Those moments were usually whenever they would practice, just the two of them; there was a look in Jeongin’s eyes that reminded Hyunjin why he admired the other boy so much.

 

They had been in the middle of practicing when Jeongin had moved a little too quickly.

 

Immediately, Hyunjin was by his side, “are you alright?”

 

The younger boy winced as he sat up properly. He had fallen forward and landed on his hands, which at least meant that his legs should be free from damage. It was easier to practice with a sprained wrist than a sprained ankle, after all. If Jeongin was lucky—which he liked to believe he was—then he shouldn’t have sprained anything at all. He gently moved his hands to test it out, only to pull his right hand towards him as pain shot through his arm.

 

“That’s a no,” the older boy said with a small chuckle, obviously not wanting Jeongin to feel bad about the situation. Hyunjin carefully reached for the younger boy’s arm, bringing it close to examine it further. It didn’t look like anything was out of place, thankfully, so it was probably just pain from the sudden impact. He voiced this out to the younger who still looked about as bad as he felt.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeongin said softly. “Can we still continue?”

 

Hyunjin knew there was no way he could say no, even if he desperately wanted the younger boy to get some rest. They’ve already been at it all night, but telling Jeongin to stop now especially after what happened—he had fallen, which meant he wasn’t getting the move right—would only make the younger boy feel worse. So instead of shaking his head, the older boy nodded and placed a warm smile on his lips.

 

“Sure, but let’s treat this first, yeah?”

 

He grinned cheekily, before bringing his head down and planting a light kiss onto the inside of Jeongin’s wrist.

 

If it wasn’t hurting, the younger boy would have probably yanked it away, but that option wasn’t available then. Instead, Jeongin had complained about how that wasn’t going to help at all as Hyunjin laughed, claiming that his kisses had healing properties that Jeongin didn’t know about. The latter let go of the other’s arm as he got up from their position on the floor, reaching down once more to help the younger boy up.

 

“Let’s take things down a notch this time,” Hyunjin said, adopting a sterner tone in hopes that it would get the other boy to listen to him more. He didn’t want any more injuries, after all. Along with that, he knew the younger boy had a tendency to hide his discomfort, as he continued. “Avoid moving your hand too much. If it hurts, tell me right away, got it?”

 

Jeongin nodded dutifully, after which Hyunjin felt that he had to add something to lighten the mood once more.

 

“If I see you exerting yourself too much again, I’ll have to kiss your wrist some more to make it feel better,” he said teasingly, which got him a loud laugh and a cheeky little no thanks, I’ll be careful in return. Pleased, they continued practicing again while Hyunjin made a mental note to check on Jeongin’s wrist afterwards. By then, the younger had insisted that he felt better, and the earlier moment was forgotten.

 

 

two.

 

The thought of kisses, and Jeongin, and especially together in one thought didn’t enter Hyunjin’s mind until much later after the dance practice incident. They had already debuted by then, moved to the new dorm together, shared a room—still, the feelings didn’t emerge right away. The only reason it did was purely because of an accident; a happy one, the happiest an accident could probably be, but something the older boy didn't exactly plan nonetheless.

 

He didn't think that it would happen while the two were sitting on the sofa, surrounded by the other members as they all watched a movie together. It was something scary—Woojin's pick, since it was his turn—and nearly half of the room had their faces covered. Jeongin was one of them, although every now and then he tried to be a little bit bold and peek through only to hide behind the pillow he held again. Next to him, Hyunjin was equally scared, but his thoughts were also preoccupied by how cute the boy beside him was; his normal thought process, really.

 

Jeongin was cute, that much was a given fact in itself.

 

Did Hyunjin want to kiss him? No. Not yet, at least.

 

Every now and then, Jeongin would lean towards him a little closer, as if that would actually do anything to get rid of what was on the screen.

 

Hyunjin knew it wasn't much for the younger, who was comfortable with anybody even if Jeongin didn't initiate things as often as the older members would with him. That meant clinging onto Hyunjin during scary parts was perfectly normal. It wasn’t like the older boy himself wasn’t the clingy type as well. He knew—everybody knew—that leaning onto the members and hugging them was something he was fine with doing and even more so receiving.

 

With that said, his left arm was comfortably around Jeongin’s shoulders like it belonged there.

 

He had just been about to lean closer himself, already angling his head towards the younger boy's ear so he could whisper something about the movie, when Jeongin had moved. The latter practically jumped at the sudden movement from the movie, throwing half his body onto the older boy and moving his cheek directly towards Hyunjin's face before resting on the latter’s chest instead.

 

There was just the lightest brush of his skin against the other's lips, barely noticeable amidst the flurry of their surroundings, but it did happen.

 

The older boy was frozen in shock for a good few seconds.

 

Apparently, Jeongin didn't even notice, or at least didn’t think too much of it since he was still burying his face against Hyunjin's chest to avoid the scary scene. He was laughing, too, most likely because Jisung was screaming from the other side of the sofa, which would have usually made the older boy laugh along with him and the rest. Instead, Hyunjin was still dazed as he touched his lips softly with his free hand, wondering if that counted as a kiss or not.

 

Shortly after deciding that it could be classified as a kiss, despite being accidental, Hyunjin then began to consider why he felt like his heart was beating faster this time around. He was suddenly hyperaware of the way Jeongin was still clinging to his body, along with how his arm was around the other boy’s small frame, which never happened before. There was a slight delay before he realized Jeongin’s head was positioned directly where his heart should be.

 

Right on cue, the younger boy had looked up at the older boy with a teasing expression.

 

“Your heart is beating really quickly. That scene was really scary, huh?”

 

Finally snapping out of it, Hyunjin did his best to smile as naturally as he could, “I feel like I got surprised more by the way you and Jisung screamed.”

 

“Oops,” Jeongin said with a small giggle, completely unapologetic, as he sat up straight. The move made Hyunjin pull his arm back to avoid being squished, which he was thankful for at the time since he wasn’t sure how much more contact with the younger boy he could take, although they reminded sitting closely. It would have been weird for him to suddenly leave his spot, so Hyunjin remained lost in thought for the remaining duration of the film.

 

It was right at the end, just before the last person alive in the movie was close to death, that Jeongin decided he was too scared to watch again. He turned towards Hyunjin’s shoulder and hid; the gesture was a small one, but Hyunjin could feel himself blush a little from just that. He was Hwang Hyunjin, the touchiest member of them all, so why was he getting flustered from Jeongin just leaning on his shoulder?

 

It hit him only when the movie ended and everybody was standing up. As Hyunjin passed by, Chan patted his back with a grin, “so, did you like the movie?”

 

Oh.

 

He liked Jeongin.

 

three.

 

Needless to say, Hyunjin didn’t remain panicked for too long. Rather, he found himself craving the younger boy’s presence more and more now that he had come to terms with his crush on Jeongin. If anything, he was glad that his reputation as the touchy member was established. It meant he got away with hugging the group’s youngest a little more and a little longer than the rest.

 

Nobody questioned his intentions, although sometimes Seungmin would give him a look, only to look away eventually.

 

As for Jeongin, well, he was used to it. He was pretty much the group’s personal teddy bear at that point, everybody’s pick-me-up, and having the older boys dote on him was nothing new. That was great for Hyunjin, too, who wasn’t entirely sure if he wanted his feelings to be known just yet. He knew that if ever, the group would accept him—that was just how they were—so it’s not like he was scared of that.

 

It was a different thing when it came to the topic of kisses.

 

Ever since the accidental kiss, Hyunjin was significantly more careful not to repeat the situation.

 

He was fine with anything but that, since the thought of kissing the younger boy still made him feel a certain way. Giddy, nervous, scared; things Hyunjin felt were pretty normal considering his situation. It was something he would tuck into the corner of his mind for next time, for the right time, for whenever Jeongin would be okay with it, too. Things would have been fine, if he didn’t have to watch how everybody else kissed the youngest member.

 

The one who did it the most was Jisung, although Hyunjin knew the other had no other intentions other than to annoy the youngest, who would always push him away.

 

Jeongin was right in the middle of playfully shoving Jisung off when Hyunjin had appeared in their room, causing the younger to run towards him. He couldn’t help but laugh as Jeongin moved to hide behind him, something he did often whenever he wanted to get away from any of the other members, probably because Hyunjin was tall enough to actually hide behind. Across the room, Jisung had a pout on his face as he whined.

 

“Why don’t you let me love you, Jeonginnie?”

 

“I’m going to tell Minho!” Jeongin said, not threatening at all, as he pointed a finger towards the other boy. “Stop kissing me!”

 

“Minho likes kissing you as well,” Jisung replied with a laugh. “We all do. Right, Hyunjin?”

 

He didn’t ex