Love Me Not

Farewell

Chapter Seven

"Be here by nine or you'll miss the train, so just once in your life, don't be late, sweetie. I know it's hard to leave everything behind especially when you're in the middle of high school, but everything will be worth it. It's going to be your new home, so just bear it all, alright, honey? Honey? Sweetie, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, mom. Don't worry. I'll be prompt and I promise to do my best."

"Please do."

…

Jongin expected Chaeri not to listen. He was simply, after all, going to defend himself for the sake of his reputation. It made him seem very... unlikeable and evil. After reading her essay to the class yesterday, it came to him that the girl loved him more than he loves Soojung.

And every single time he remembers that cheerful winsome smile of hers, it reminds him that he's not the only person in the world. That everything won't always go according to his plan.

That there was something and someone way more important than the one he originally thought was.

"Hey."

And Chaeri was there. Plain and simple. She was probably wearing the school uniform under the oversized sweater that reached past her knees. He never noticed it before, but she was quite thin; it made him wonder of the strength she possessed in such a seemingly fragile body.

"Hey."

"So..." Chaeri glanced at the tree. He didn't need to tell her where to go. She knew. "What do you want to talk about?" Although she was aware of what their topic of conversation was going to be, well, she still needed to ask, didn’t she?

"You said you would listen."

"You don't need to have my word. I will always, always listen to what you have to say, Jongin." He looked at her. She was sincere. "I'm considerate," she added.

"And I'm not?" he countered.

"Tic, toc, tic, toc." She gave him a mysterious smile. "The clock is ticking, Jongin. Your fifteen minutes are ticking down." For the first time, she wanted to be the impatient girl she could never be, even for a moment.

And it hit Jongin. It hit him hard.

He killed Min Chaeri.

"What's the matter, Kim Jongin? Are you, in some way," she started as she tilted her head to the right with the same mischievous smile, "afraid of me?" she finished.

Am I? He asked himself. No, he decided firmly. "I'm not."

Chaeri shrugged. "That's what you say." She ran a hand through her slightly damp hair. "But will you please get to the point? You're already wasting my time."

"Shut it." Jongin had gone berserk. He didn't know why, so God help him.

Chaeri didn't stop pissing him off. "Tic, toc, tic, toc, Jongin."

He grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her against the tree. "You talk too much for such a small person." He hissed, trying to control his temperament.

"You shout too much for such an introvert." She retorted, her voice cold.

"I swear, if you cut through me—"

"Oh, intimidating me won't be necessary."

Jongin calmed down a bit. "Look, I just want to ask for your forgiveness. It'll take less than five minutes."

"Oh, Jongin." Chaeri exhaled loudly, frowning. "That's the most difficult thing you've ever asked me to do. Way more difficult than pretending that I didn't know you were 'cheating' behind my back."

I don't blame you, he wanted to say. But he wanted his reputation back on track. If he didn’t, Soojung won't let him hear the end of it. Nor his parents. "I'm not asking you to really forgive me. You can tell everyone in class you and I are done. No hard feelings, you know? After that, you can go back to cursing my name in your mind. With your friends. In private. Without ruining my name."

Chaeri shook her head amusingly. "Jongin, I may be foolish, I may be an idiot, and I admit I'm no Einsteinette, but I'm not that dumb."

The girl who used to respect him was long gone.

"What?" Jongin was utterly aghast.

Chaeri had a small smile playing along her lips before she replied. The wind brushed past her like a gentle puffed-out air. "Jongin, I love you so much, it hurts. It still does." He couldn't tell what her eyes were saying. They looked teary, yet they were strong and powerful. "But I never want to forget that feeling, Jongin, because no matter how sadistic it sounds, it's one of the most important happenings in my life." When she looked at him straight in the eye, he swore the hair on his back stood in fright. Yet, her next words were sincere— so sincere that it made Jongin wonder why, of all the girls in the world who worshipped his every step, destiny had to choose Min Chaeri. "I'll forgive you, Jongin, but not now. Not today. Not in a long while."

Caught short, he cried in frustration. "See here, you don't understand!"

"No, you don't understand." She poked him on the chest. "Forgiving you would mean that everything was useless. If I 'forgive' you even though I really don't, it still doesn't change the fact that I come out looking like an even bigger fool than the big one they already know I am." Her voice softened, and he was again reminded of the avenging angel who once brought a moment of solemnity in his life. "Jongin, if I tell anyone that I'm letting you off after all that crap you did to me, what I learned would be futile, and I don't want that to happen."

He stared at her.

Hard.

"I must've caused you a lot of pain, didn't I?"

Yes, she yelled at him in her mind, imagine that sting I felt when I realized that no way could a wonderful knight like you fall in love with a damsel like me! "Not every question comes with an answer," she answered, looking deeply into his eyes.

I know I did. Why can't you just say it? "I've always thought that Cherry has an answer to everything."

I'm not giving you an answer, Jongin. "I never thought Jongin would hate having another fan girl."

Just say it. Please. "You weren't a fan girl. You played a role in the tale,” he muttered.

Don't force me. Please. "No, Jongin. I was just a fan. I worshipped your voice. I kissed your feet. I daydreamed about you. I was an obsessed fan. Didn't you realize it?" Chaeri shrugged. She couldn't be even more light and easy as she was, although deep inside she had a hundred of emotions waiting to burst out, already in smithereens. "Just a fan."

Jongin was speechless. He couldn't think of anything wise to counter her Chaeri-logic. Stop making this hard for me.

Chaeri didn't say anything else.

He finally lost control. He slammed his hands and trapped her against the tree. His eyes were intense, not of passion, not of anger. They were just strong and powerful; it made her wince a little. But his next words were whispered. "Why don't you just listen to me?"

In the same, soft voice she used that made him wonder, Chaeri murmured with a trembling voice, "I am listening, Jongin. But you're not listening to yourself." She allowed the tears to escape. She held his cheek and continued, "You want to say something, Jongin. You want to do what's right. B