First talks of disbanding first came in February, when they were just lounging around for who knows what after a intense dance practice for their song.  It was only them in the room, no managers and no other adults, or the first time in a while.

“What do you say if we disband soon,” Jiwon said quietly in a solemn voice.  The room grew ten degrees colder as everyone froze. Suwon turned to Jiwon abruptly.  He could see the darkening dark circles, his shoulders hunching from tiredness, his hands squeezing the water bottle he held in a shaky death grip.  Jiwon was serious and tired of everything. A shudder rippled up Suwon’s spine as the words hung in the air. The question avoided was finally stated.

“What do you mean, hyung?” asked Jaeduck, breaking the ice slightly, running his hands through his hair.

“You know it, Jaeduck-ie.  You know, I know, and Jaejin knows.  We are going to present sooner or later, not to mention the maknaes could present early  It would affect the team entirely, not to mention the amount of stress we have on our shoulders and how tired we are.  We did enough work that could last us for years,” Jiwon argued, his voice getting louder and louder.

“So just throwing everything away, letting out Yelkkies down?” shooted back Jaejin abruptly.  He knew that they were deeply troubled about the future. Because if they stayed, the work stress and hormone stress from presenting could make them faint or do even worse, especially when all of them present. But if they leave they would let everyone down, not only their fans but all of Korea.  There was so much to lose both ways. But, Jaejin looked pained, like he didn’t want to leave, even though he had pains from practicing and couldn’t even do a back-down in a performance for “School Anthem”, and barely finished the song before he fainted. Suwon felt tension between the two, and it wasn’t the friendly banter they had occasionally with each other.  No, this was like Alpha vs Alpha. Suwon sensed their traits growing even more. Jaejin must’ve noticed it to, as he backed down and sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. He was confused, he was scared, Suwon thought.  So am I.

“Your health matters most,” Jiyong said solemnly in the silence. It was the first time Suwon heard Jiyong be so serious, the playful Jiyong being serious in this kind of manner. Sunghoon sighed as he laid his head back on the sofa, closing his eyes as if he was tired of this nonsense.

“Lets just wait and see,” Sunghoon said in a quiet voice.  Everyone went their own way, getting up to practice again. It was never mentioned again, never mentioned until that happened.

****************************

Commotion occurred in the waiting room after a live performance of one of their songs a few months later.  One minute they were fine, the next was chaos. Suwon was next to Jiwon and was in a deep conversation when suddenly Jiwon panted and hugged himself.

“Stay away from me,” Jiwon growled in a tight voice, inching away.  Suwon stared at him and their eyes locked. 

“Its for the best,” he manages to say quietly.  Jiwon unconsciously crept closer to Suwon, his eyes becoming fonder and possessive.  Suwon shuddered inwardly, inching away a tad bit. Their managers came into the room at that time and huddled around Jiwon as the members were pushed out of their rooms by the staff members.  Suwon took one last glance at Jiwon before looking straight ahead, the sounds of whispers and resistance echoing.

“What’s happening?” Suwon asked Sunghoon quietly as they were forced into another room in the opposite side of the building.

“I have no clue,” Sunghoon said while sighing.  He knew something that Suwon didn’t know. Suwon gritted his teeth as he sat down in a folding chair at a table.  The room was silent as the members looked at each other awkwardly as the staff members fussed over security and other things the members didn’t have to worry about.

“Jiwon-ie hyung presented,” Jaejin said once the door closed.  Suwon’s eyes grew wide in surprise, but he knew he shouldn’t have been surprised at all.  Jiwon was of age after all.

“What… what is he?” Jiyong asked, but the answer was too obvious.

“Alpha.  A strong one in fact.  Must’ve been because he was the leader and was constantly under stress,” Jaejin said while sighing, his fists clenching.  

“What will happen to us?” Suwon asks in a quiet voice.  

“... We might have to disband,” Sunghoon said while looking at everyone, even more so at Jaejin.   Jaejin looks at him with a cold glare, like he didn’t want to admit it.

“We are not going to,” Jaejin says firmly, but underlying his confidence was a emotion Suwon encountered before.  Defeat.

“Well, it is what Jiwon-hyung wants.  He doesn’t want to put us in any kind of danger.  It is what he told me last night on the phone,” Sunghoon says while glaring at Jaejin, trying to prove him wrong.  Something must’ve happened between the two of them, Suwon thought. There was no way the two would be this cold to each other.  

“There is no use in fighting,” Jaeduck says, trying to soothe the flames, but eventually failing.  Thankfully, one of the managers came back and took them out of the building, saving them from more arguments or glaring contests.  Jiwon wasn’t there, Suwon noted, but it was a no-brainer as to why.  The manager did have good timing, but the manager didn’t save them from the tension that keeps lingering around, like a dark  ghost possessing Sechskies one by one.

****************************

Jaejin ran away.  

Suwon didn’t believe it at first, believed that Jaejin just went somewhere or was holed up in his house.  Jiwon was missing out on practice because he presented, leaving only four of them in the practice room. Everyone constantly made mistakes.  No one was paying attention, no matter how much the teacher yelled at them and made them do push-ups and beat them with rulers. They ended practice early and called Jaejin many times but all ended in failure.  Suwon gripped his phone tightly in his hand. He felt his instincts rush over him as he kept looking at Jaejin’s number on his phone while laying down on his bed. One thought rushed over him over and over again.

Where are you, Jaejin? Why are you doing this to us?

But Suwon knew that he had no right to force Jaejin to come back.  First, it was his own decision to “run away” (what they finally decided, which was better than dying).  Second, it was that… they were not a pack, because they didn’t present. They didn’t need to look for Jaejin other than that they were close as family, but it wouldn’t be just enough to get him back.  Not just yet, at least. Hopefully they can become a pack. Suwon shook his head at the thought. Impossible.

He still had the trickle of hope, though.

Suwon didn’t realize that this incident was a small catalyst, showed the first true sign of what he was going to be.  He should’ve realized it.

*********************************

He stood on the stage as tears were threatening to come down his face as he tries to capture the last time he would see the yellow wave of balloons every again.  

Sechskies was disbanding.

This was their last concert.

Jaeduck was sobbing next to him as the others had tears silently come down their faces.  Jaejin turned away, with his hands behind his back.

He was in Busan with his parents, when they finally found him.  Suwon felt a great relief in him, but also felt the pain as Jaejin bitterly told the group why he left (they later find out the other true reason).  He presented as an Alpha. Jiwon and Jaejin grew akward as they practiced in the room for their final concert, as the unsaid tension about who would be the pack Alpha came to be.  

But that was not important.  Sechskies would never be a pack.

The news hit Korea harshly as they made their surprise announcement at the conference they suddenly held.  Everyone didn’t smile as Jiwon spoke the words that ended the group, Sechskies. Fans cried, every newspaper had their names on the covers.  HOT won the battle. The group made the consensus as they couldn’t bear it anymore. No matter how hard their boss tried to change their mind, they wouldn’t budge.  It was over. They agreed for one last concert. The Dream Concert. They sang their songs one last time. Yellow filled the air that night, filled the concert hall and the space around it.  

They ended the concert with their final bows and last words to their dedicated fans, and there was no dry face as they left their dreams and what they thought was their future on the stage.  It was now time to diverge into their own paths that they would choose to follow. Jiwon pursuing hip-hop, Jaejin with art or possibly in the new group that he and Jaeduck wanted to make, Jiyong with possibly acting, Sunghoon with ballad, and the remaining two with the possible new group.  Everyone tried to cheer each other up with jokes, but they all failed as the weight of leaving the group and their fans and reality hitting upon them every second. Suwon wished it never came to this. But he knew it had to. There was no other choice.

They left one by one.  Slowly walking towards a place their feet took them that night.  Suwon felt a tap on his shoulder a few blocks ahead of where he started to walk to.  Startled, he turned around and saw a man with a cap covering most of his face. Jiwon.

“Suwon-ah,” Jiwon said softly.  

“What, hyung?” Suwon asked.  Jiwon sighed and twirled his hands in a circle.

“Lets meet up.  At a hotel near here, or a coffee shop, or even a club.  Just somewhere else without Yellkies. I can’t face them tonight after everything that happened,”  Jiwon said. Suwon nods slowly as he follows Jiwon. They came upon at a small cafe hidden behind Seoul’s grand apartments.  They quietly entered and ordered their drinks.

“Suwon-ah, I’m sorry for everything,” Jiwon said after a moment of silence.  Suwon looked at Jiwon hunching over his cup of coffee.

“...It’s fine, hyung.  It was inevitable anyways.  I’m just glad it happened at the peak of our career.  The fans now won’t have to see our decline. We ended without any regrets, right?” Suwon said with a small smile.  Jiwon returned the smile and sits, thinking for a bit.

“It’s ironic how Jaejin became a alpha, when he wanted to be the next leader.  I guess that was a sign that he was going to be an alpha in the first place,” Jiwon said quietly when he mentioned Jaejin.  The tension was still there, Suwon thought, even though they made up.  Suwon nodded slowly, taking a sip of the already lukewarm beverage.  It was refreshing, but tasted like coffee from a cheap food chain. Jiwon smelled much better, a faint smell of freshly scraped cinnamon and of love.  

Wait, what?  Suwon shook his head at the thought, reassuring Jiwon who asked why he shook his head.  Suwon sipped the last of his drink as he looks around the cafe. It was quaint, a mixture of a traditional Korean house and a modern or Victorian British style someone would see in a story like Sherlock Holmes.

“Are you returning back to the industry?” Jiwon asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

“Maybe. Jaeduck-hyung and I were talking about making a small group together, maybe with Jaejin hyung as well,” Suwon said after a short pause.  It wouldn’t hurt to tell the truth, especially to Jiwon. Jiwon looked at his cup and nodded slowly. Suwon looked at Jiwon and saw that he… that he looked hurt?  Was he jealous that Suwon would still be in a group with another member?

“Suwon-ah, can I just… can I just ask you one thing?” Jiwon said finally.  Suwon nodded and leaned in slightly to hear what Jiwon had to say.

“Promise me, promise me that we can work together later on.  Promise me that we can perform together and still talk with each other,” Jiwon said finally.

“But hyung -”

“Just listen.  I know that we ended on bad terms, and even though some, no most, of it was DSP, other parts were because of the subgenders that we had, as well as the timing of everything.  Especially Jaejin and I. I am worried that the glue that bonded all six of us together broke apart as we left the stage. Can you be the glue that sticks us together?” Jiwon asks Suwon, grabbing his hand across the table and looking at him in the eye. Suwon’s heart thumps faster at Jiwon’s hand.  But why is his heart beating fast? Suwon nods in agreement, trying not to show his emotions.

“Of course hyung.  I promise. Maybe, maybe we can come together again,” Suwon murmurs.  Jiwon smiled sadly at him as he heard what Suwon said and shook his head.

“Not possible, Suwon-ah.  I don’t think that some of us wants to go back into being idols.  Anyways, you should go. It’s getting late,” Jiwon said, getting up, patting his shoulder.  He comes around to Suwon and flings his arm around Suwon’s right shoulder. The two walked out of the cafe and go back onto the dark streets of Seoul.