“Yes, Mark Hyung? I’m just get off from the bus. I’ll drop by the market near your work place before come to your café.” A young man said with happy tone through his phone while walking away from the bus stop. Jinyoung, that young man’s name, hold his phone between his shoulder and his ear as he looking at his bag, searching for something. Without he knowing, the man he is talking to was behind him, hiding behind a space between two building and looking at Jinyoung. 

“Hyung, you still there?” Jinyoung asked when his boyfriend doesn’t said anything.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Wait, I think I forget to bring the groceries list. I have to come back to our house first.” Jinyoung said. Mark then saw Jinyoung puffing his cheek. He must be tired, their house to Mark workplace is far, and he just finished his tutoring job.

“No, its okay, you don’t need to come to the café. You must be tired.”

“No, its okay. I miss you, anyway.” He said while cupping his, maybe now, redden cheek. 

Another moment of silent. Jinyoung frowning his forehead. Usually Mark will teasing him if Jinyoung become this cheesy.

“Jinyoung-ah.” He heard Mark called his name after a long sigh. Jinyoung doesn’t feel right, now. Mark usually call him like that if he mad at Jinyoung. Being together for long time, Jinyoung already know Mark behavior.

“Is there anything wrong Hyung?”

“I love you, you know it right?”

“Humm~” Jinyoung nodding his head, even he know Mark can’t see him.

“I love you, so much. But I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore.”

“….” Jinyoung stop walking. No, his brain stop working too. He can’t process what Mark said. “What?”

“Jinyoungie.. I cant do this anymore. No... I don’t even have a right to approaching you from since the first time.”

“What are you talking about Hyung?”

“You know, I don’t have anything to give to you. I even cant give you such a warm word to ease your heart.” 

Mark biting his lips. He and Jinyoung was come from different society. He just a foreign student who run away from his parents to pursue his freedom while Jinyoung come from high society on Seoul. They meet on the first day of their collage years and fall in love to each other. But, the fairy tale love story doesn’t happen in real life. Jinyoung’s parents was so mad when they know Jinyoung was dating someone who doesn’t come from high class like them, moreover he is a rebellion son who run away from his family and now working hard to support his own life. But, being so in love with Mark, Jinyoung decided to leave his family and living together with Mark. Mark, of course, gladly accept Jinyoung to his crumped apartment that he got from selling all his valuable things from his home back in States.

But now, he realize that he just bring Jinyoung to the hell with him. Even though Jinyoung never complain to him, he know it was hard for Jinyoung to live in poor condition when he used to live without worrying about what he should eat tomorrow to safe some money. Moreover, looking at Jinyoung who have too work for their life make Mark’s heart hurt. He feels so guilty making the one he loves suffering like that.

“What are you talking about? I thought I was clearly said that I don’t need anything fancy. I just need you. Stop talking nonsense.”

“Jinyoung-ah… I don’t have the ease of being able to give you my heart.” Mark said closing his eyes. “Looking at you who live every day beyond your strength is too much. So, each day I cry for you.”

“Hyung, what happen to you? Why you become like this?”

“I’m going back to States.”

Jinyoung felt his world collapse in front of him when Mark said that. He can’t hold it anymore. He lean his body to the wall beside him before slowly dropping his body. He don’t have any strength on his leg anymore.

Mark his hand. He want to run to his lover and hugging him tightly while saying sorry and saying he love Jinyoung so much. But, he have to hold himself even though its hurt to him to see Jinyoung break down like that.

“Please, Let’s talk about it. Where are you? I’ll come go to your work place.” 

“No, I’m quitting today. Please, don’t looking for me again.”

Jinyoung clapping his hand to his mouth, preventing his sobbing voice come out. 

“Don’t be like this hyung, please.. I love you so much. Don’t leave me alone.”

“Because more than anyone else in this world, I love you, so I have to doing this. You wont be happy with me. I even don’t have a right to wish you to be mine, so I push you away. Don’t love me. I’m just a bad guy who has nothing but his own heart.”

Tears pouring from Jinyoung eyes now. Is this the end of his love life? The one he devoted all his life on it. 

“I can’t live without you, Hyung. Please, don’t leave me.”

“Jinyoungie, please remember. My heart is where you are, where its close enough that our breaths could meet, always in that same spot. Please be happy. Good bye.”

And like that Mark cut the phone line off. At the same time when Jinyoung heart scattered into pieces. He feel his heart so hurt that he cant breath properly.

From the far, Mark can saw Jinyoung tapping his chest hard. For a lot times, he hurt his love of his life. Mark gripping his suitcase stroller tightly, when he saw Jinyoung slowly stand up and walking before tripped by his own feet and fall. He want to run to Jinyoung now. But again, he can’t do that. He is too afraid that he will give Jinyoung more tears. With his pained heart, Mark turn away from Jinyoung. Difficulty, he walk away from Jinyoung life.

.
.

.

.

.

I can’t even hold your hands, missing you
Because I might only give you tears, I missing you
I can’t tell you “Lets be together,” I missing you
Its difficult to turn away
Because I’m a fool who has nothing but his own heart

.
.

.

.

.

~Few days ago~

Mark was serving the drink for a customer when his boss called him.

“What’s up, Boss?”

“Someone want to meet you. He said he is from JYP Ent. What is it? You finally become a model?”

Mark body freeze when he heard about JYP. That’s Jinyoung’s family company. He look blankly to his boss before shaking his head. His boss frowning his forehead but then he shrug his shoulder and pull him to his office. Mark can only following his boss with his head hanging low. His boss open his office then push him in.

“Its nice to see you again, Mark.” A man stand up and smiling to him. Mark awkwardly smile back to him.

“Please, sit down.” Park Sungjin, Jinyoung’s older brother, said while sit down on the white sofa. Mark stiffly sit down in front of him.

“Relax, I’m not going to ask you to leave Jinyoung.”

Mark can only nodding his head. How can he be relax in front of someone who probably going to take his love of life away?

“You know, I never ban you have a relationship with Jinyoung.” He said. “If Jinyoung can be happy with you, I have no problem for blessing your relationship.”

Mark quietly listening to Sungjin. He can’t predicted what the man will be talking about.

“I know you love him so much and he love you too. He is happy with you, I know it. But I’m sorry, I have watching you all for past months.” He paused. “My father found it. He so shocked how Jinyoung’s life after left the home.”

Mark frowning, he got a hint about what the man in front of him is trying to say.

“He got heart attack.” Mark widening his eyes. “No. He is okay now. But I’m not. My father ask me to take care the company.” 

See... Mark already know where it going to.

“I can’t handle the company alone, so, I need you and Jinyoung to help me.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Like I said. I’m not gonna separated you two. Just help me.”

“How can I help you?”

“You know, I need some people to manage the company. I need you to work with me. And by that, Jinyoung will come too with you.”

Mark frowning his forehead again. He really don’t understand what the real deal behind this.

“But I don’t know anything about business.”

“Aren’t you study business and management?”

“Yeah. But I quit. I need to earn money for our life.”

Park Sungjin stay quiet for some moments.

“It can’t be. I’ll send you to States to study there before giving you position in our company.”

“What? No. I won’t go. I won’t leave Jinyoung.”

“This is for Jinyoung, Mark. You just need to study there for one or two years and then you can be together with Jinyoung forever.”

“No-“

“It’s for your future Mark. Do you want to forever be like this? Don’t you ever think that Jinyoung is suffering because of his condition now?”

Mark looking away from Sungjin. He know it. He really know that he drag Jinyoung to the hell. But he also know that Jinyoung won’t let him go that easy.

“Please think about it. Think about yours and Jinyoung future.” Sungjin said while slid his name card to Mark. “Call me when you have made a decision.” The man continue before leaving Mark alone.

For some days that name card was abandoned on Mark uniform’s pocket until the day when Jinyoung fall sick because he is too tired after his work. That day when Mark decided to leave Jinyoung for good. The day when Mark thinks it’s a good thing to make Jinyoung back to his life before he meet Mark. But he never know that Jinyoung isn’t same as before. Without he knowing, he made another hell to Jinyoung, more cruel and painful than before.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-