I know it took me so LOOONG to post this one shot lol but it finally is here!!!

This is my last one shot of 2018.

I hope you have a wonderful new years eve and that you have an even more wonderful 2019.

Let’s stay with Red Velvet and have another amazing year. 

Thank you so much for loving my stories this year.

Make 2019 a wonderful story to tell.

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What a mess. 

What an absolute mess. 

Oh god I need to go home right now. I need to go. Go, Juhyun, go. Wait, how is it in the movie? Is it go? I’m almost sure it isn't. Wasn’t it run? Yeah, that sounds more like it. 

Run, Juhyun, run. 

And don’t get me wrong, I would, I really would if it weren’t for the pair of arms hugging me from behind. They’re so soft. Now that I think about it, they’ve always been. 

No, shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up. I can’t be thinking about this- 

“You’re so fluffy, I love when you wear this sweater.” she pushes her face against my back and rubs it clearly enjoying the synthetic fur but effectively sending shivers to every part of my body. Oh no, no no no. 

I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t have said yes to practice with her. What in the world was I thinking? I knew she’d be practicing Lucky Strike, it’s what she’s preparing for the showcase the school is hosting next week, something about college agents coming to watch and choose the best performers for the best universities. Something we now need to worry about since it’s our senior year of high school boo hoo.  

Anyhow, she’s been bugging me about monitoring her performance ever since she signed up for it. I had said no every time because heaven knows I have a weak spot for her dancing skills, it’s no secret. It isn’t anyone’s secret anyway, nobody can really resist her when she dances. But me? A lost case. Even more since I realized that… 

that, 

uh, 

well, 

I kind of I’m in love with her. 

There. There I said it. I’m in love with my best friend. My best friend since elementary. My GIRL best friend. 

“Hyunnie?” her sweet voice rings in my right ear, I can feel her chin resting on my shoulder. The nickname that makes me weak in the knees brings me back from my internal gay panic, makes me look forward. I suddenly remember we’re in the practice room, the wall sized mirror a very clear indicator of course, but even more so how warm her body feels pressed against mine as she hugs me, a reminder that she just had finished practicing the intense routine. 

I was only nearing the mirror during the water break because I could see a loose strand of hair that needed to be put in place when she surprised me with a back hug. 

Not really surprised, surprise. We’ve always been touchy with each other, emphasis on the we, more like me. She’s not really touchy, specially not with people she barely knows, but after years and years of wearing her down with my love for skinship, we’re at a very comfortable point. Except a month ago or so when her hugs started to feel like fire, and her cheek kisses, and when she touches my hand or my arm or shoulder or, well, you get it. Everything is on fire now. And you know, I’m just… cruising through it. 

“Hello?” she pokes my cheek with her index finger. 

Okay, I’ll admit it, not cruising. I’m not cruising through it. I’m on fire too. And I don’t know what to do. Truly.

“Yah…” she trails off, letting go of me and stepping in front so we’re facing each other. Tragic. We looked really good just now, I could see it in the mirror, it’s a pity nobody took a picture of it. “World to Bae Juhyun…” and there she is. 

She obstructs my view but to be honest there’s nothing I’d rather look at. Her big, confused, monolid eyes. That cute little button nose I could peck if I only took one step further. And oh god those lips, so rosy and plump and obviously moving. She must be saying something. But lately I don’t get half of our conversations because her lips just seem to steal my attention. 

I know how it sounds, what kind of best friend doesn’t listen. But also, what kind of best friend falls head over heels for her 10 year long best friend? Yeah, well.

“Hyun!” a sting registers itself on my forehead, finally, really bringing me out of my thoughts.

No, she did not!

“Yah!” I scream at her, massaging the sensitive spot with my left hand, “Did you just flick me?”

“I don’t know, did I?” she arches an eyebrow playfully. 

“Kang Seulgi.” I say through gritted teeth but my hands are too late because they catch pure air, my brunette haired best friend fast enough to escape my claws. By the time I bring my arms back to the side of my body she’s on the other corner of the practice room. 

“I don’t know why people think you’re slow.” I half amusedly say, she’s actually pretty fast. 

“That’s because they aren’t constantly trying to kill me, unlike someone.” she teases. 

If you only knew the one killing me is you. 

“Where were you, anyway?” she continues.

“What are you talking about?” I kind of know what she means but I have to really make sure so I play it innocent. Like I didn’t space out and had a gay shut down just seconds ago. 

“I don’t know, you tell me. You suddenly froze and looked like your soul left your body.” she giggles. Another weak spot I have for her, whenever Seulgi laughs I can feel the damn butterflies or whatever on my stomach. Except they’re more like and stampede of elephants, and well, they’re on fire. 

“It was amusing, really. I even told you where Yerim and I hid your favorite fabric softener but there was no reaction.” 

“What?” I exclaim. Get the loop. The day before yesterday I was about to do the laundry when I found myself out of my precious lavender softener. Yes, I love them like my own children, yes, it is weird. 

Anyway, my true mistake? Inviting Yerim and Seulgi over and trusting them. Nothing ever good happens with that combination, add a little Joy spice and it’s over. My only hope is still Seungwan. God bless her heart and the patience she has. 

Coming back to the story, the poor maids looked for the liquid for hours but with no luck, only those demons know where it is and I refuse to buy another one because I refuse to let those losers win. Plus I’m positive I will get it out of Seulgi soon enough, though that would’ve been sooner if I hadn’t been lost in how much I love her instead of listening. 

“Tell me where it is!” I screech and stomp my foot.

“I did.” she says smugly, “It isn’t my fault you weren’t paying attention.”

“.” I hiss but can’t help the smile. People are always saying how no jam Seulgi is but she has always made me laugh until my stomach hurts. She’s naturally funny when she isn’t trying to. And she’s never trying with me. It’s always comfortable. She makes everything be so comfortable. “Um…” I interrupt myself this time, avoiding another gay inception, “So…”

“Don’t go changing the topic, unnie, you still have to tell me what had you standing there like a deer in headlights.” she presses on, crossing her arms and resting her weight on one of her legs. 

She’s hot, alright. Listen, this isn’t anything new. She’s been a dancer since she was 7, she trains like crazy and even though she eats like it is her last day on earth every time, her body is amazingly fit. Not too fit, it’s not like she’s a body builder or anything but with certain positions her muscles flex just right. She looks so soft and squishy at simple sight but, for example, if you touch her abdomen, it is rock hard. It’s quite a contrast with her skin, which is baby smooth. I don’t know. It’s all a crazy combination that just makes her so perfect. So sweet and y. And I knew this, it’s not like I can’t admit it as her friend. Everyone would agree with me. But I had never payed such close attention before, which is one of the things that made me realize I had fallen for her, and of course my heart wanting to rip through my ribcage any time she eye smiles at me but oh well. 

Right now, with that sleeveless black crop top, those black tights, her signature converse and her crossed arms she looks like she could tear me to pieces and I would say thank you. 

“Nothing really, I’m just a little worried about the tests coming up.” I lie. 

sIGH, yup, we got here. 

Where I always end. 

She’s Kang Seulgi. My best friend, my classmate, the girl I’ve grown up with. And I’m Bae Juhyun, her best friend, her classmate, her unnie. 

Just that.

It’s not that I think she’d judge me if I told her I like girls, she’s too good and understanding, she would only smile at me and thank me for trusting her. I know. Because that’s exactly what she did when Seungwan came out to her. 

But this is different. Because I don’t only like girls, I like her. And it’s not that I’m assuming but she’s only ever payed such attention to boys. Another thing that made me realize she has my heart, there was this new boy in school and he asked her on a date which she accepted. It boiled my blood. Nothing ended up happening, she’s quite innocent if I may add. She just went to have a good time and came crushing through my house door later that night with tears in her pretty eyes saying the guy tried things with her and when she refused the jerk told her off. 

What I have to say? Men. Trash.

What I did about it? I had him expelled from his own school since ours is an all girls and when people found out he made the high schools' sweetheart, Kang Seulgi, cry... well let’s just say he’s now three states away. 

I’ve been always quite possessive over her, it’s a bad trait but I control it usually, but since that incident I’ve been like a guarding dog. 

That was the last one, thankfully, but throughout the years she’s only dated guys. I know that it doesn’t mean much because, hell, I dated a bunch of guys before I realized I didn’t like them. 

Yet… if I ever even gathered all the courage to tell her…. if she doesn’t like girls… or she does but doesn’t like me…. Oh god it would crush my heart to watch her be all awkward trying to tell me it’s okay and that it wouldn’t change anything between us even though she doesn’t see me like that and blah blah blah. Or worse even, if we are together but end up splitting, this 10 year old friendship would go to waste. I wouldn’t be able to take it. I can’t imagine my life without her. So friendship it is. I would rather only be her friend but have her with me for the rest of my life. Just that. 

Aren’t I pathetic? It’s all my fault for falling. 

“Hey…” I am too distracted to even notice she’s in front of me again, her hand on my shoulder and her eyebrows furrowed, she must’ve noticed the conflict in me, “Are you really that worried?”

I look at her and she looks at me and for a second there it’s almost like she gazes at me just with the same trouble but a second after I look away, it must be only in my head. 

“Yeah…” believable because I am the number one student of our school and grades are important. Not too important since, not trying to brag but, school isn’t too hard for me, I actually enjoy it. 

“Hhmm…” she hums pensively, “You’ll be fine, Hyun. You’re the smartest woman of this generation.” 

“If I may recall correctly, it is the BEST woman of this generation.” I respond with a genuine smile in appreciation. She always knows what to say. 

“I mean that too, of course.” she eye smiles, completely melting my heart. “Don’t be gloomy.” she hugs me, burying her face on my shoulder and… there it is. 

“Yah!” I push her away, “Did you only hug me to rub your face on my sweater?” 

“It is SO fluffy!” she exclaims.

“I hate you!”

“You do not, you adore me.” she says annoyingly but she’s right. I adore her. With every fiber in my body. “Now c’mon let me hug you again.” she opens up her arms and closes her eyes softly. 

It takes every bit of self control to not invade her personal space and plant a kiss on her peach lips. Instead I silently laugh while I take my sweater off, clacking hard when it hits her in the face. 

“There, since you love it so much!” I fake offendedly raise my volume, my heart fluttering at the sound of her laugh. 

“I do!” she yells back and hugs it. 

Some minutes go by of bickering but we eventually decide it’s time to go home, it’s late and  tomorrow it’s a school day. I watch her put on my sweater and wave me off as she gets in her driver’s car, not a single reproach in me, she looks way too good in it. 

I get home, wash up and think of her before going to sleep and the first thing in the morning. I am a lost case. But we knew this. 

Breakfast is ready but my parents aren’t here, wow, shocker. 

Miss Nahm, the maid who has taken care of me my whole life, pats my back. She’s quite young actually, 37, she started working for my family at a really young age and 18 years ago when I was born she says she looked at me and said I was, am and will ever be the only daughter she’d ever need. It’s cheesy but I love her, she’s my true home. Well, her and Seulgi who has been the silver lining in my lonely life. Long story short, I’m shier than I would like to admit and Miss Nahm had warned me since very early on that my beauty would bring more loneliness than the opposite. 

“You’re too pretty for your own good, my baby bunny.” she had said, I was 9 and didn’t understand but I’ve grown up to find that she was right. She always is. 

My face apparently is that of a good poised, tranquil, obedient and quiet girl of society. And up until I met Seulgi, I was. She’s always been clumsy but back in the day it was truly a life hazard, but she would laugh it off every time. Not caring what anyone thought of it. Seulgi laughed freely and loudly. She played with boys and got dirty. She danced cutesy and hard songs. She convinced me I could be whoever I wanted to be. Thanks to her and Miss