"Ahahaha!”

Changmin, together with Yoochun and Junsu were sitting across Yunho in the living area. In the middle was a table with a board game already played half-way.

“Checkmate!” A blonde-haired Junsu said as he moved one of the pieces of the board game and Yoochun wailed in surprise. “Aaaah!”

Yunho who was laughing at the ongoing match then looked around the place and noted that he’s in the dorm with s… the cream walls… the framed-pictures that they put up were there. He stood up and tried to explore the hall. 'The members are here but where is…' Suddenly, a slim fair-skinned boy with black hair passed by closely in front of him. Without giving a look or a greeting, the boy went ahead into the next room.

“Hey, Jaejoong…”

Following the trail, Yunho found the boy sitting by the window and looking out the streets. He then suddenly felt a tightening pain in his chest. It’s like he wanted to apologize to Jaejoong but couldn’t. Did they fight? What was this heavy feeling Yunho was experiencing?

“Jaejoong…”

The fair-skinned boy was glowing in Yunho’s eyes. He radiated a soft light that made him look unreal…

“Jaejoong!”

Yunho went closer and wanted to talk with Jaejoong for a bit.

“Hey, Jaejoong!” But no matter how much he called, the other doesn't seem to hear him.

“Yun…“

“Yun…”

“YUNHO!”

Yunho’s eyes shot wide open. The light surrounding him blinded him and irritated his eyes. After a while, he regained sense of his surroundings. The walls were grey, the floor was tiled white, and a buzzing and clacking of shoes could be heard in the area.

His manager was in front of him and they were in the office by the studio. “We’re in SM,” he confirmed to himself.

“Yunho, you got your nap? We’re leaving in ten.” The manager, a man in his late 40s then said.

Yunho rubbed his eyes and tried to comprehend the situation. ‘I fell asleep on the couch after the meeting… And Jaejoong… That was a dream… It felt so real…’

Years had passed since they’ve split up into two groups - TVXQ and JYJ. ‘It’s been a while since I dreamt of him like this…’ 

In his dream, Changmin, Yoochun and Junsu were playing chess by themselves. That day was actually a scene from their past and Yunho began to recall the events. ‘Jaejoong and I had a fight then because I ruined one of his things… A bag he bought in Japan… He got really angry that time and wanted me to replace it. But I wasn’t in a good mood too… Huh, such a long time ago.’ Now it's impossible to fight over small trivial things. Who knew that would be something to be missed?

After going through his routine day to day activities, Yunho was feeling exhausted and had tension in his neck. That night, when he got on his bed in his home, like being called to it, he stared at his phone, going through old pictures of Jaejoong.

On his screen was a young Jaejoong with an innocent smile on his face.

“Ah, this was when we were shooting for that commercial… Yoochun was eating ramen when Changmin said a joke and Yoochun spurted food through his nose… Ahaha…”

He swiped his screen to view the next ones.

“This was during a variety show… Junsu’s oyaji gag didn’t click… and so we had to do our gags too on the spot so he’s not alone...”

“And Jaejoong… with his shouyu koto… Ahaha.” Yunho watched videos of Jaejoong continuously. His sharp memory made him remember everything like it was yesterday, and this was both a blessing and a curse. He reminisced through the many years – their hardships, their celebrations, their everyday events - until sleep had fully taken over him.

..…

.....

“Wahaha!” Footsteps were heard around the dorm.

“It’s night, Yunho. You’ve washed the dishes.” A mellow voice told him. "We’ll be going to film another show tomorrow. It’s best to sleep early!”

“Yeah… And Jaejoong, can you control yourself a little bit?” Yunho nudged. “It’s getting pretty dangerous and dangerous when you open your mouth to talk. You know how much fans take it to another level!”

“Ahaha! Sorry… I can’t help it sometimes.” The boy laughed candidly with a sparkle in his eyes. It was nice to see him like this - pure, unburdened... happy. 

When Jaejoong went in his room to resign from the day, Yunho followed him there. Looking at the boy lie on his bed to get some sleep, Yunho doesn't know why but suddenly he's missing his bandmate so much. “Can I… Can I sleep with you here?”

A pair of wide eyes stared at him. “Sure." Jaejoong smiled. "Don’t fart in your sleep you nasty!”

“Hey! When have I done that? Hahaha!”

Yunho got on the same bed to lie down beside Jaejoong. He watched the smaller boy’s face in front of him slowly taken by sleep. The wide eyes adorably closed into slits.

“Good night, Yunho… I will see you tomorrow…” The young boy mumbled softly.

“Good night, Jaejoong.” Yunho told him, but he was preventing himself from sleeping. He didn't want to miss anything about Jaejoong's face that was so innocent and angelic. He reached out to caress the locks above Jae’s face, sifting his fingers through the soft strands and this warmed his heart. “Why does this feel like it’s been long since I’ve done this… Why does it feel like I want to stay in this moment forever…? If this is a dream, I don’t want it to end…”

But inevitably, very gently, Yunho succumbed into unconsciousness too…

The next he opened his eyes, he saw Jaejoong by his side, awake, and looking at him.

“Jaejoongie…” He reached out to caress the other’s face and didn't expect this. "You’re still here… I’m happy…”

“I’m always here? What are you saying?” The other responded and this made Yunho glad.

“I just thought… I thought being with you finally, I thought it was just a dream…”

“Huh?” Jae gave Yunho a questioning look like he was talking insane. “But this is just a dream…”

Yunho’s alertness heightened at that and he began to be more aware of his surroundings. “What?”

“This is just a dream, Yunho. You’re waking up soon…” 

"Wait Jae- What are you-"

"See you…”

The boy's angelic face faded abruptly at a loud buzzing sound.

-beep! beep! beep! beep! beep! beep!-

An alarm went off and woke Yunho up. A sour, bitter feeling crept onto him. 

"Damn..."

That was the worst way to start the day. Immediately, he turned off the alarm and gave himself a couple of slaps on the cheek before checking the messages on his phone. 

“Ah crap. I have a meeting today.”

Later inside the studio of SM building, Yunho and Changmin were practicing for their stage performance. In the next weeks, they have a month-long tour in Japan and they need to get this perfect as possible with the crew. 

During break, while his damp towel nested on his shoulders, Yunho approached Changmin. The tall man was the youngest back when they were five, but now, Changmin had become Yunho's greatest ally. When he is troubled, Changmin is a someone he could count on for everything.

“I dreamt of Jaejoong…”

Changmin raised his eyebrow at his hyung and he moved closer to focus more attention on this. They rarely talk of the former members but he'd listen whenever Yunho brings it up. “And? What happened?”

“Nothing much... We were all there. You, me, Yoochun, Junsu… Jaejoong…”

“Hyung… It’s not the time to be thinking of him…” The younger one got to the point. They don't have the capacity for additional stress in the middle of a tour.

“I know…” Yunho paused but again recalled his dream. “It was like a normal day. I slept beside Jaejoong in his room…”

Changmin let his hyung tell the story.

“I was caressing his hair when he slept… I thought it was real…”

“Well, hyung… It’s not and… we don’t live in a dorm anymore…” Changmin slapped him with the harsh reality. That house was long gone. Even the two of them moved to their own places too.

Yunho looked at and didn't stop himself from being honest. The growing weight of his feelings couldn’t be covered anymore. “Changmin, I miss him…”

“I know…” Changmin understood this and had been battling too which actions are right to do. All he knows is that he doesn't want to see Yunho in pain.

That day, Yunho continued to work, giving it his all to their group - the only reminder of what was and what could have been. And he told himself that the next time he sees Jaejoong, he will know it’s a dream. 

Seeing him, talking with him, being with him... It’s too good to be true… He will know it is merely a dream.

.....

.....

Yunho was feeling heavy. He was in their dormitory but he couldn’t navigate the area easily.

“Where is Jaejoong…?”

He looked around the area and gained some awareness.

“This must be a dream again…”

When he walked inside a room, he finally saw Jaejoong. The boy was sitting against the wall on the floor while hugging his knees.

‘Ah… I ruined his bag… He’s sulking… But it’s so long ago…’

He scooted next to Jaejoong on the floor and sat there. “Hey…”

The young boy glanced at him and looked a little bit downtrodden.

“Jaejoong, I have something to tell you...”

The young boy opened his mouth to say, “If this is about the bag, you don’t have to apologize…”

“Jaejoong… It’s more than that… Listen to me.” There was desperation in Yunho’s tone and he felt like there’s not enough time. Like before, he might wake up soon again. “This is important…”

The boy was staring at Yunho and was prepared to listen.

“I will give you everything in this world. Whatever you want,” he said and let go of all his inhibitions. “I'll get you that bag... I’ll buy you another car. Your favorite chocolates… A house, Jaejoong? Anything you want…” It seemed silly for him to say this. But even if just in a dream, he could… He could make Jaejoong happy right?

“Really?” The young Jaejoong perked upon hearing this. “You have money for it? How rich are you now? Treat us to dinner!” He exclaimed cheerfully.

“I’m serious, Jaejoong… Listen to me… There will come a time when we won’t be together anymore… And we get hurt, we throw hurtful words at each other…" He said, remembering the two of them going through countless fights and circling debates. In a few years, who is right wouldn't matter as much as cuts so deep they wouldn't heal. "When that time comes Jaejoong… Please do not forget this…

I love you more than anything in this world…”

No one has ever opened Yunho up like the kind of warm vibrant love that Jaejoong had. And once in his life, Yunho had all that to himself.

“I won’t be able to tell you that when it feels like everyone is against us, and the slight of our words and actions could be taken wrongly… So hear me out… I’ve always wanted to say… No matter what happens… No matter which sides we stand on..." The weight of the emotions made him start to break down and shed tears. "You are the most important person to me and… I will always love you. That will never change…" He began to sob after revealing what is deep in his heart. 

"Silly Yunho…"

"Huh?" Yunho looked at the boy and wiped the tears from his eyes.

“You won’t lose me, idiot… Why don’t you know… Why is it you who doesn’t know? Are you doing this on purpose?” 

The irate tone in the boy's voice made Yunho wonder.

"I… love… you…" Jaejoong said, and there was no ounce of strain or lie in his words.

The purity of his feelings hit Yunho and made him crumble into tears, now even harder. The burdens that he carried for many years were suddenly washed away. He used to believe that with his strength, he could make the boy happy, but he only made Jaejoong fall into despair. "If I still have you, Jaejoong... I will... I will give you everything…” No love could be greater than what he would give.

“Anything huh? But I don’t want anything else… I just want you by my side." Jaejoong told him simply. "If ever we do part… I hope not! But if we do for any reason… know that I love you. That too will never change…” A light smile settled on his lips.

Hearing that, Yunho caved into his feelings even more. All the memories they had, their last words, their last sight of each other replayed in his mind... The words people tell them they're feeling, and the chances of reconciling they missed because they were blinded by pain suddenly became irrelevant…

“So don’t cry Yunho…" Jaejoong soothed him. "You know where to find me… I'll wait for you…"

It sounded like the most beautiful promise one could ever receive. Followed by a name they uttered that meant all that they were to each other.

"...My other half.”

Yunho opened his eyes and he's back on his bed in his room. His tears flowed down his eyes like an endless stream. “Uhhh….” He sobbed heavily. He feels so awful... So awful... 'It's a dream...'

He thought they had finally reconciled... had told him their love was still there and true... but… It’s not real… Everything was just a dream!!

It's a complete mystery... Why do the stars align to let two people meet repeatedly, only to separate them on a cold starless night? Why were two people made to build love block by block to climb the top of the world, only to have it broken down and burn into ashes?

Maybe... Life is teaching them lessons they could only learn through the deepest pain... Lessons such as having trust... and forgiveness... Building the two of them to be strong so they finally know, clearly and undoubtedly, how valuable and obstinate their love was.

A full month passed by. After that last dream, Yunho never saw Jaejoong anymore and he poured his energy on finished their tours.

After the last leg of the tour ended, Yunho was riding the van with Changmin and they where on their way home.

"I'm getting off at that next building." Yunho suddenly told the driver.

"Huh, why?" The younger asked.

"I'm meeting someone." He had a light smile on his face.

"Who is it? Why do you look so excited?"

"Am I? I'm more nervous than excited." Yunho laughed a bit.

"Huh."

When they arrived at the stop, Yunho took his bag and went down. As the van drove away, Changmin saw Yunho get into a car and he looked twice to validate what he saw. In the driver's seat was no other that their old band member and friend...

Jaejoong.

The two of them seem to have broken the first few walls of that thick ice. Somehow, something happened that made it clear to Yunho what he wants in his life.

In his seat, Changmin smiled and knew that his hyung would set up a meeting like this soon. "I thought so... I hope you two become happy finally..."

And in that black car, Yunho and Jaejoong were talking jovially while they were driving to a restaurant they had booked to try and restart what should have been done a long long time ago.

Tied to You - End