A loud thud echoed as a body hit the mat. Quickly, she grabbed her opponent's neck and swiveled until she was on his back— locking her arms and legs in vice-like grip. Huffing and grunting, two sets of arms and legs never stopped... trying to outsmart and defeat the other. He managed to extricate from her hold and she found herself lying on the ground. As expected, the heavy weight pinned her down as he mounted her. Before he could get her locked, she swung her right leg, twisting her body until she had his left arm and rolled them over. She dug the back of her legs down on his body as she pulled his left arm in between her legs. She knew that he could easily get out of her hold but after a few seconds, he tapped twice.

"Yah..." Junhoe groaned as he sat up and massaged his left elbow.

Feeling slighted, Lisa couldn't help the deep frown that appeared on her face. "You were holding back."

"No, I wasn't."

"There were five instances to have her locked." A deep voice spoke beside them and Lisa's frown deepened at Director Choi's remark.

After introducing him to some of the people she knew at the gym, he had asked to watch her and Junhoe grapple. It took them around five minutes until the latter tapped out. He knew that Junhoe went easy on her and that didn't help in quelling her annoyance. 

Seeing the impassive faces in front of her, she felt the anger appear deep in her chest.

"No one ever takes me seriously here." She muttered as she stood up and fixed her messy ponytail.

"Lisa-yah... I can't really hurt you." Junhoe sighed and that made her even more pissed. "I can't hurt girls in general."

"It's unfair!"

Her sudden outburst had the other two taken aback. "How can I ever learn and improve if all the guys I spar with always treat me like that?" 

She knew she was starting to sound whiny and that was something she didn't want Director Choi to see. But the way he tilted his head at her as if saying "That's just how it is..." only made her feel angrier. 

Junhoe was wiping the sweat off his forehead and casually shrugged, "I just can't give my all because I don't really want to hurt you and touch you inappropriately. "

He gestured towards her as if he had no choice about it.

"You're my girlfriend's best friend." 

"Chaeyoung doesn't mind. I don't mind." She replied in exasperation. "I've felt your so many times but it's only you guys who always think weirdly."

The sudden blush that appeared on her friend's face would've been so funny if she wasn't feeling so pissed. Glancing at Director Choi, she saw a small smile tug at the corners of his lips. 

"Lalisa-ssi..." He always addressed her that way and his polite speech sounded strange in between her informal exchange with Junhoe. 

"It's actually less about gender and more on the difference of physicality. You have to ask if it's right to fight someone who is smaller and lighter than you."

She knew that but she thought of all the years of her training and how difficult it had been physically, mentally, and emotionally. As a woman, she had always felt at a disadvantage and even though she was more skilled than some of the men she sparred with... she knew they were always holding back. Having learned the core disciplines of MMA... win or lose, all the sparring sessions she had always left her feeling heavy-hearted. 

"I'm just tired of being treated differently."

The way her voice trembled didn't escape Director Choi's notice. His brows slightly knitted as he uncrossed his arms and walked towards her. In a gym full of half- men, he had on a black Adidas tracksuit... the jacket zipped up to the very top.

His next words sounded intimidating yet uplifting at the same time.

"And how do you want to be treated?" 

Their gazes locked and it didn't take her another second to answer.

"Like a real fighter."

His left eyebrow quirked up. "Why? Are you planning on going pro?"

"No." Her voice suddenly sounded little in her ears. "I just... feel like I should learn and experience more."

Director Choi's head tilted to the other side and he was looking more intimidating by the second. The feeling of nervousness crept in her system as she held his gaze. His eyes unnerved her... because she absolutely couldn't read what he was thinking about.

"So you want to get hurt because you're... curious."

That caught her off guard.

It was instantaneous. She felt constrict as memories from so many years ago invaded her thoughts. Memories that she tried so hard to repress but suddenly came rushing back in flashes— drowning her in so much fear and agony. How could he... how could he accuse her like that?

"Being curious isn't enough." Director Choi continued.

She felt something ignite within her. And that fear turned into hatred.

A split second and she slid on the ground— twisting her body until her legs clamped around his left leg and he fell down. She quickly mounted him and locked his arms with hers. But his speed was astonishing. The next thing she knew, his long legs were around her left arm and he rolled them both over. Her back hit the ground with a loud thud. She lifted her hips until her legs were around his waist and pushed until he fell over and she clung to his thigh tightly. The force he was exerting was different from when they first grappled... and much more different than Junhoe's. There was no hesitation in his movements as he tried to extricate himself... his hands strong and deft and certainly not cautious where he placed them. Everything was calculated and within seconds, he pried her legs away from his waist and he was above her. She felt her arms getting locked as his legs weighed heavy on her— the back of his left knee suffocating her face.

She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe.

The feeling of being powerless overwhelmed her and she could barely hear Junhoe shouting something at her. It probably only took a few seconds but it felt like eternity. And the next thing she knew, someone had lifted her up and cupping her face. 

"Are you okay?" Director Choi asked at the same time Junhoe bellowed, "What the , Lisa?! Just tap out! You are so stubborn!"

Her vision finally cleared and that was when she realized that she was silently crying and Director Choi was the one holding her face.

"Did I hurt you? I'm really sorry." It took her a moment to register that his thumbs were wiping her tearstained cheeks. Her still racing heart literally skipped a beat when her eyes met his. 

Worry was clearly etched on his face as his right thumb went just a bit higher to wipe the tears on the corner of her left eye. 

Too close...

She instantly pulled back— remembering how he had taunted her that resulted to her being a mess at that exact moment. Standing up, she felt Junhoe pat her shoulder as he gave her a clean face towel.

"Now you know why guys can't—" 

"Don't." Lisa cut him off and with a glare, threw back the towel to him. "Spar with Director Choi. I just need to be alone right now."

She stormed off and went to the locker room without thinking of her actions.

"Lisa!" Chaeyoung's voice brought her out of her stupor. "What happened?"

She was the only person in the women's locker room and had been lying on a wooden bench for half an hour. There were a lot of things plaguing her mind and all she wanted was to cry... but couldn't anymore.

"Junhoe asked me to come here as fast as I could. Did he say something stupid again?" Her bestfriend was already crouching in front of the bench— a protective arm wrapped around Lisa's shoulder.

"He always says stupid things." 

"That's true. I still wonder what I saw in him." Chaeyoung scrunched her nose in mock disgust and then gently tucked the strands of hair covering her friend's face.

Lisa couldn't think of what to say. She and Chaeyoung had been friends for years and somehow she felt guilty for not always confiding in her. 

"I love you to bits but I think you're actually the most closed-off person I've ever known." It was as if her bestfriend had read her mind. "I know you share things about yourself... some problems here and there... but I also know you're not telling everything."

That made Lisa sit up as she consciously played with the fabric of her sweatpants. 

"You know me too well, huh?"

Chaeyoung laughed. "Almost but not quite."

"I'm sorry. There are just some things that I'd rather forget and also things that I don't want others to feel bothered with." She sighed and then Chaeyoung stood up and sat beside her.

"Silly! You know you can always tell me anything, right? Even if I don't know what to say all the time, at least I listen..." 

A soft smile.

"And that makes any problem or worry you have feel just a little bit less heavy."

Lisa hugged her tightly then as tears stung her eyes once more. "Chaeng... I'm really so lucky to have you as a friend."

"Yes, you are." Chaeyoung dragged her up then. "C'mon, I'm so hungry. Let's go out tonight and you can also ask your boss to come with us."

Dread filled her the moment she remembered how she acted earlier. 

"No, no! I was awful to him a while ago. I suddenly got very angry and attacked him." 

Her friend rolled her eyes.