Past

Busan

 

“Baekhyun, you’re bleeding!”

 

“I’m fine!” Baekhyun snapped, slapping Jongin’s hands away.

 

“You’re –” Jongin choked. “You’re going to lose the baby if you don’t get to a hospital right now.”

 

Baekhyun glared at the man hovering above him, furious at the concern in his eyes. The pain was intensifying, growing with each passing second, but he refused to move.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Baekhyun whispered angrily as he glanced away, hands shaking.

 

“Hey—Hey! Put me down!” He cried as he was being lifted off the ground. Jongin’s hold on him was firm and he was unable to break free no matter how hard he punched and thrashed in the man’s hold. Eventually he slumped against Jongin’s chest in defeat, completely drained as he sobbed in anger and frustration.

 

“I don’t want you making a decision out of anger,” Jongin said softly. “I promise you, you’ll regret it if you lose him.”

 

--

Present

Busan

 

“It’s too cold to be outside.”

 

“Aw, come on, Baek. You’ve kept Kyungsoo locked up inside for too long. He could use the fresh air.”

 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said, shaking his head as adjusted the scarf around his neck.

 

“Look, Kyungsoo’s gone on a road trip with his uncles when he was four.” Sehun persuaded, “I’ll have him home in time for dinner.”

 

“Fine,” Baekhyun sighed in defeat. “Just be careful, alright?”

 

“Kyungsoo’s a good kid. He’s very well-behaved.”

 

“He’s not the one I’m worried about,” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow at his brother, arms crossed. “I’m talking about his man-child of an uncle.”

 

Sehun rolled his eyes.

 

“Kyungsoo ya,” Sehun called excitedly as the five-year-old shuffled into the room. “Go get changed. I’m bringing you to the funfair!”

 

“Really?” Kyungsoo stared at him, eyes wide in disbelief.

 

“Yeah, come on! Your daddy says you can go.”

 

Kyungsoo glanced at Baekhyun as if asking for permission. Baekhyun patted his head with a smile. “Go on. You deserve it for being so brave during your stay in the hospital.”

 

“Thank you daddy!” Kyungsoo squealed, breaking out into a wide grin as he wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s legs.

 

“Just make sure you dress him warmly, and bring along some snacks, he gets faint very easily,” Baekhyun rambled, “Oh! Don’t forget his inhaler, you need to have it with you. Don’t let him out of your sight for even one second—”

 

“Hyung,” Sehun interjected, steering him towards the door. “I’ve got this, okay? We’re going to have fun and stay very safe. In fact, I’ll even ask for a safety belt when we go on the carousel. I promise I won’t let anything happen to your baby, okay? Now, you just focus on getting your to work.”

 

Kyungsoo gasped, pointing at Sehun. “He said a bad word.”

 

“A dollar in the swear jar, Sehun,” Baekhyun smirked, patting Sehun’s cheek as he groaned. He turned to give his son a big wet kiss on his forehead.

 

“Have fun, darling. I’ll see you at dinner.”

 

--

Present

Seoul

 

“It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Irene sighed as she sank into the sofa, watching as her fiancé worked on the controls of his soundboard.

 

“You know I don’t like being disturbed while I’m working,” Chanyeol muttered without looking up, grabbing his bottle of beer to take a swig. Irene sighed again, this time loud and infuriating just to spite him.

 

“Stop it,” he warned, not in the mood to argue.

 

“Look,” Irene snapped. She stood up, her heels clinking against the floors. “You think I don’t know what you’ve been up to these past few weeks?”

 

Chanyeol froze, tensing as his hands paused above the controls.

 

“I’ve seen the tabloids. And I’ve had more people telling me it’s true than it’s not.” She moved towards him, gently touching his shoulder.

 

“I don’t care what’s going on,” she said softly. “I just need to know if you’re serious about us. Because if you’re not I don’t want to be wasting my time, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol let out a breath, reaching out to caress her hand. “I’m sorry,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I’m sorry I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

 

“It’s fine.” Irene allowed herself to be pulled into his lap, holding his face in her hands as she leaned in to kiss him.

 

“I know you’ve got stuff to deal with. I just want us to start our lives on a clean slate.” She pulled away and gazed into his eyes. “Do you really love me?”

 

Chanyeol glanced away for a moment, thinking back to that night she’d texted him with the greatest news in his life. He wrapped his arms possessively around her waist, pulling her even closer.

 

“Yes, I do.”

 

--

 

Present

Busan

 

Unknown

I was wondering if Kyungsoo could spend the weekend with me in Seoul?

3.52pm

 

Unknown

It’s Chanyeol by the way.

3.54pm

 

Baekhyun bit his nails, deleting the ‘No’ he’d typed out. He toyed with the idea in his head, wondering if it were really a good idea. Chanyeol knew nothing about Kyungsoo apart from the fact that he was his son. Baekhyun couldn’t risk leaving Kyungsoo in his care. But he knew Chanyeol was trying. He was making an effort, at the very least, and that was more than he could ask for after five years of raising Kyungsoo on his own.

 

“Tell him to get lost, how about it?”

 

Baekhyun startled, almost dropping the phone out of his hands. He turned around to see Minseok staring over his shoulder, a look of disapproval on his face.

 

“Continue pretending we don’t exist like he has for the past five years of his life.”

 

“I expected that from Sehun, not you,” Baekhyun said with a frown.

 

“Can you really blame me?” Minseok scoffed, moving to pour himself a glass of water. “You don’t understand, Baekhyun. You’ve never seen yourself through my eyes. Through Sehun’s eyes.”

 

Baekhyun tenses. “What do you mean?”

 

Minseok sighed. “Look, I don’t want to bring up the past but you know how difficult it’s been since he left you.”

 

“I don’t need you to remind me,” Baekhyun snapped, glancing back down at his phone.

 

“Exactly. And do you think it was easy on us to see you the way you were?” Minseok sat himself across from him. “You gave that man everything you had. He lived his best life when he left while you struggled to make ends meet, raising a child all on your own.”

 

“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t get your hopes up. He abandoned you once, he could do it again. And I don’t want to have to piece you back together again,” Minseok said with clenched fists. “I can’t bear to see you fall apart for a second time.”

 

Baekhyun nodded, swallowing thickly. “I understand.”

 

“But I can’t help feeling like he’s still the Chanyeol I fell in love with, hyung,” Baekhyun said sadly. “I see him for the first time in five years and I feel like we’re nineteen again and he’s telling me that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make me happy.”

 

“You’re not teenagers anymore, Baek ah,” Minseok said softly. “You lead different lives now. You share plenty of sweet memories with him but don’t let that cloud your judgement. Think what’s best for Kyungsoo. For once, look after your own heart, Byun Baekhyun.”

 

--

 

Past

Busan

 

“I love you.”

 

“I know.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes with a smile, swinging their intertwined hands between them.

 

“I’m going to marry you someday,” Chanyeol said seriously.

 

“We’re too young for that.” Baekhyun blushed.

 

Chanyeol ignored him, pulling him in closer. “I swear, I’m going to make you very happy.”

 

“You already do, silly.”

 

--

 

Present

Busan

 

Baekhyun gripped onto his son’s hand, glancing around nervously as they stood by the sidewalk beside the train station. Everyone was going about their lives, minding their own business, but Baekhyun couldn’t help feeling like people might start recognizing who they were.

 

A black sedan pulled up in front of them and the driver got out, approaching them.

 

“Byun Baekhyun, this way please.” Hesitantly, Baekhyun followed the man, helping Kyungsoo into the car by the open door before entering himself.

 

“Hey.” Baekhyun breathed out a sigh of relief at the familiar face. Beside him, Kyungsoo fell asleep as soon as the car started to move, tired from the train ride.

 

“You didn’t have to pick us up. We could have gotten a taxi.”

 

“We’re being extra cautious,” Jongin explained. “The news hasn’t really died down yet and it’s best if Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are able to spend time together without paparazzi up in their noses at every second of the day.”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun agreed. “All I ask is that Kyungsoo is kept out of the spotlight. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”

 

“I understand,” Jongin said with a smile. “I’ll do my best to make sure your privacy is kept.”

 

“Thank you, Jongin,” Baekhyun smiled warmly.

 

“So, you got here alright?”

 

“Yeah,” Baekhyun chuckled as he recalled Kyungsoo’s fascinated gaze at the scenery during the train ride. “Kyungsoo wouldn’t tear his eyes away from the windows. It’s his first time to the city.”

 

“I figured.” Jongin laughed. They let the silence settle for a long moment, listening to the purr of the engine and the soft sounds of Kyungsoo’s snoring.

 

“Listen, Baekhyun,” Jongin began, nervously fiddling with his hands. Baekhyun already knew what he was going to say. He gave a small, encouraging smile.

 

“I was wondering, since you’re here anyway, if you’d like to grab dinner sometime?”

 

“A dinner’s usually an indication of a date,” Baekhyun teased with a grin.

 

“I’d like for it to be a date,” Jongin said shyly, ducking his head slightly. “I mean, only if you’re up for it.”

 

Baekhyun toyed with Kyungsoo’s hands in his lap. “You know,” he began, “I’m still sorry for saying no a year ago.”

 

“It’s fine, really,” Jongin shook his head.

 

“I wasn’t in a good place then. But I think I’m ready now.”

 

Jongin let out a small breathless laugh. “Thursday alright with you?”

 

“Chanyeol’s bringing Kyungsoo to the zoo. I should be free then,” Baekhyun smiled.

 

“Great,” Jongin grinned. “I can’t wait.”

 

--

 

Chanyeol rearranged the flowers once more, knowing he’d done it just minutes before but feeling like it didn’t look quite right. He glanced around as his hands busied with the flowers, making sure there wasn’t anything dangerous so Kyungsoo could play without getting hurt.

 

The doorbell rang, and he froze for a second before hurrying to answer it.

 

“Hey,” he greeted, breathless from excitement and nerves. Baekhyun gave an uncertain smile, peering into the apartment with mixed feelings. The last time he’d been there, it hadn’t been a great memory. That was almost two months ago, he told himself. A lot had changed since then.

 

“Hello Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol grinned, bending slightly so he could at least look into the boy’s eyes. Kyungsoo shied away, clinging onto Baekhyun’s arm.

 

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun said sternly, “You’re being rude.” He shoved his son slightly. “Greet him properly.”

 

Kyungsoo pouted but did as he was told. Chanyeol tried not to let his disappointment show as he smiled.

 

“You know what?” Chanyeol suddenly said. “I’ve got something I think you might like.”

 

“What is it?” Kyungsoo stared at him with his big, round eyes, interest piqued.

 

“Do you know how to play video games? I’ve got a game room. You can play it on the big tv.”

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes lit up as he tugged at Baekhyun’s hand excitedly, looking up at him. “Can I, daddy? Please? Please?”

 

Baekhyun suppressed a sigh. Chanyeol’s got a lot to learn but he figured he’d let this one slide. “Yes,” he said reluctantly. “But you have to promise to listen to Uncle Chanyeol well.”

 

“I promise!” Kyungsoo nodded vigorously.

 

Baekhyun smiled. “Go on, then.”

 

Jongin trailed after the boy, offering to keep an eye on Kyungsoo while the parents talked.

 

“Thanks again, Baekhyun ah,” Chanyeol said earnestly.

 

Baekhyun shrugged. “I’m really hoping we can make this work.”

 

Chanyeol nodded, rubbing his hands nervously as he watched Baekhyun glance around the apartment.

 

“Right,” Chanyeol said, suddenly remembering the incident almost two months ago. “I’m sorry about what happened. You know, that night you… yeah.”

 

Baekhyun shrugged again, hugging himself slightly. “It’s fine. I understand it must have been a lot to take in.”

 

“Right.” Chanyeol his lips. “I’m still sorry.”

 

Baekhyun smiled softly before his eyes fell upon the bouquet of lilies. They were his favourite. Chanyeol used to buy them for him all the time.

 

Following his line of sight, Chanyeol noticed what he was looking at. Before he knew it, he was striding towards it, grabbing the vase and ing them into Baekhyun’s hands.

 

“You can have them,” Chanyeol said softly.

 

“Wow,” Baekhyun said, staring at it in amusement, “Uhm, this is really nice.”

 

“But I don’t really have anywhere to put them,” Baekhyun laughed, his eyes turning into crescents. Chanyeol’s heart skipped a beat, memories of a younger them playing in his head, happy and carefree.

 

Chanyeol took his phone out, snapping a quick picture of Baekhyun laughing with a bouquet of lilies in his hands.

 

“Did you just take a picture?” Baekhyun asked, confused.

 

“Uhm, yeah.” Chanyeol scratched his head sheepishly. “I thought you looked nice. I’m starting a scrapbook for Kyungsoo to see when he’s a little older.”

 

Baekhyun’s heart warmed at the thought. His eyes turned soft as his lips pulled up into a fond smile. “That’s nice. I’m sure he’d like it.”

 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol said, glancing at the ground for moment before lifting his gaze to meet Baekhyun’s searching eyes. “I just. I want him to remember his childhood as a happy time in his life despite how broken his parents were.”

 

--

 

Chanyeol glanced at the five-year-old every few seconds, feeling nervous as he prepared lunch in restless silence. Kyungsoo was sat upright at the kitchen island, arms neatly folded on the counter before him. His big, round eyes followed Chanyeol’s every movement, as if silently judging him.

 

“Do you like sandwiches?” Chanyeol asked conversationally, hoping to get a word out of the boy. Kyungsoo stared at him, hard and long. Chanyeol repressed a sigh, wondering if he would ever get a reply out of him.

 

“I’m making an egg sandwich.” Chanyeol turned his back on the boy as he prepared the meal.

 

“I like your ears.”

 

Chanyeol froze, hand paused in mid-air where he was holding the bread. He turned around to see Kyungsoo looking at him shyly.

 

“My ears?” Chanyeol repeated, breaking out into a smile.

 

Kyungsoo nodded, ducking his head. Chanyeol’s grinned excitedly when he saw the small smile on his son’s face.

 

“They’re not that big, are they?” Chanyeol touched an ear. Kyungsoo looked up, regarding it with a thoughtful expression.

 

“They are,” he said as a matter-of-factly.

 

“Oh…” Chanyeol didn’t know whether to laugh to be offended. But he figured he should take it in his stride, considering it was Kyungsoo’s first attempt at trying to talk to him. Kyungsoo was superbly shy, but it seemed like he was beginning to feel comfortable around him.

 

“They’re nice,” Kyungsoo offered. His words warmed Chanyeol’s heart.

 

“They’re like an elf’s.”

 

Chanyeol chuckled. He would take what he could get. “Thank you, Kyungsoo.”

 

--

 

“You can’t be serious?” Baekhyun could hear the anger in his voice even through the phone. “You can’t leave him alone with that jerk!”

 

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, annoyed. “I’m not asking for your permission.”

 

“Look, I’m just looking out for my nephew, alright? I don’t trust he can take care of a child.” Minseok said, “He could barely take care of you when he’d vowed to do so for the rest of his life.”

 

“That hurt,” Baekhyun admitted quietly, eyes closing briefly from the blow.

 

“I know it does. But I’m just being rational, alright? Don’t take your chances when it comes to him.”

 

“I understand.”

 

“Anyway, when will you be back?”

 

“Why? Life falling apart without me around?” Baekhyun teased.

 

“Jongdae’s a terrible stand-in manager,” Minseok complained. “He let a kid eat for free because “she was cute”.”

 

“Bless his kind soul,” Baekhyun laughed. “As long as he doesn’t give any more free food to cute kids.”

 

“He’s a fool for kids,” Minseok sighed. “Thinks they’re the cutest things to ever exist.”

 

“I was like that too when I was pregnant with Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun reminded him with a reminiscent smile. “Pregnancy makes us sentimental.”

 

“You were terrible to be around when you were pregnant. You were always either crying or getting angry over the stupidest things.”

 

Baekhyun pulled a face. “Was not.”

 

“Trust me, you were,” Minseok laughed. There was a pause before he said, “Kyungsoo’s old enough now. Isn’t it time for you to find someone new?”

 

Baekhyun smiled shyly, playing with a loose thread on his sweater. “Jongin asked me out again.”

 

“I think he’s good for you.”

 

“I think so too.”

 

--

 

Past

Busan

 

“Minseok hyung.” Chanyeol startled when he saw the oldest Byun brother approaching him. He graciously accepted the bottle of beer with both hands, automatically slouching his posture to match the older man. Minseok was distinctively smaller than he was but he carried himself with such revered charisma. Chanyeol had always admired him for it.

 

They drank in silence, enjoying the night breeze as they looked out into the nothingness over the sea.

 

“Congratulations on your engagement,” Minseok broke the silence, turning to look at his future brother-in-law.

 

Chanyeol was taken aback; everyone knew how Minseok disliked Chanyeol. He’d never approved of their relationship, claiming that Baekhyun was “too good” for him. Chanyeol didn’t disagree though. Baekhyun was the kindest, brightest soul he’d ever met in his life.

 

“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I promise to take care of him well.”

 

“For my brother’s sake, I really hope you keep your promises,” Minseok said.

 

“I mean it, Chanyeol. He loves you with all he has. Don’t you ever take that for granted.”

 

--

 

Present

Seoul

 

Baekhyun walked out of the room after ending the call with Minseok to find his son eating a bowl of greens.

 

“How’d you get him to eat that?” Baekhyun gaped at Kyungsoo who took one last bite, leaving the bowl spotless.

 

“I promised to teach him how to play the guitar,” Chanyeol said sheepishly.

 

Baekhyun sighed, moving to take the bowl and bringing it to the sink to wash it.

 

“I can do it,” Chanyeol said, quickly reaching for it, “You’re a guest in my house.”

 

“It’s fine,” Baekhyun replied as he washed the bowl. “I do this for a living,” he reminded.

 

Chanyeol bit his lip, slightly embarrassed. “Right.”

 

“You shouldn’t keep making promises to him,” Baekhyun began as he left the washed bowl on the drying rack. “If you break any of them I can’t promise he won’t hate you.”

 

Chanyeol adamantly shook his head. “He’s going to come first before anything else.”

 

“Will he?” Baekhyun gazed into Chanyeol’s eyes. It was clear he wasn’t talking about their son anymore.

 

“I don’t want to screw this up,” Chanyeol finally said. “I did once, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

 

“I trust you,” Baekhyun said quietly, a soft look in his eyes. “I trust you wouldn’t let anything happen to our son.”

 

Chanyeol grinned weakly. “Of course.”

 

--

 

Past

Busan

 

“Hey, don’t be upset.” Chanyeol gently wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s waist from behind him and kissed him softly on the side of his head. Baekhyun’s eyes stayed glued to the negative pregnancy test result, sadness slowly overcoming him.

 

“I was so sure I was,” Baekhyun whispered sadly.

 

“It’s normal that it doesn’t happen right away,” Chanyeol said encouragingly. “Besides, we’re still young. Let’s enjoy us before we start a family, hmm?”

 

Baekhyun turned around slightly in his husband’s hold to look up into his eyes, lips wobbly with disappointment. “But you were so excited when I told you I might be.”

 

“I was,” Chanyeol admitted. “But if it happens, then that’s great. But if it doesn’t, it won’t make me love you any less.”

 

Baekhyun turned around and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol, burying his face into his chest as a tear makes its way down his cheek. “You always know what to say to make me feel better,” he murmured.

 

“When we do have our own kids, you’ll be absolutely great with them,” Baekhyun said softly. “I’m sure.”

 

--

 

Present

Seoul

 

Haemophilia: What is it?

Caring for a Child with Haemophilia

Living with Asthma

 

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol’s brows pulled into a deep frown as he stared at the pamphlets strewn across the coffee table. He could sympathize when Chanyeol ran a hand down his face with a groan. He’d been there at one point in his life.

 

“It’s a lot to take in,” Baekhyun said as he made his way towards the idol and sat himself beside him on the sofa.

 

“It is,” Chanyeol shook his head as if it would clear the muddled thoughts in his head.

 

“I couldn’t accept it the first time the doctors told me.” Baekhyun stared at his hands. “But I was alone, and I knew Kyungsoo would need me more than anything.”

 

Chanyeol’s heart ached at the revelation. “I’m really sorry, Baekhyun. I’m sorry I left you to deal with all of this on your own.”

 

“I’m very much capable of taking care of him on my own,” Baekhyun shrugged. It only made Chanyeol feel worse.

 

“I know,” Chanyeol said, “You’re amazing, you really are.”

 

Baekhyun blushed at the compliment but it felt good to be acknowledged for his accomplishments.

 

“You can rely on me now too, you know.”

 

“I hope you understand that you have to be very careful with him,” Baekhyun said seriously. “It’s literally a matter of life or death.”

 

Chanyeol nodded. “Can you really handle being out with him alone?” Baekhyun asked, biting his lip nervously.

 

“You mean to the zoo?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“I thought you were coming along?” Chanyeol asked, confused.

 

“Why would you think that?” Baekhyun frowned.

 

“I just thought – never mind.” Chanyeol shook his head, glancing away.

 

“What is it?” Baekhyun probed.

 

“No, I just thought we would spend the day together as a family.”

 

Baekhyun inhaled deeply. “We’re not a family, Chanyeol.”

 

Chanyeol didn’t think it would hurt to hear those words coming from Baekhyun. But it was the truth. Kyungsoo was the only link he had to Baekhyun now.

 

“I know,” Chanyeol admitted. “But could we at least pretend for Kyungsoo?” he asked, annoyed.

 

“You know,” Baekhyun said, suddenly furious, “It’s really unfair for you to suddenly waltz back into my life and demand that we become a family when it was all I had wanted for the last five years.”

 

“I didn’t want to admit it, but I thought you should know that I spent the last five years of my life just waiting for you to come back,” Baekhyun shook with anger.

 

“I think I have the right to be angry, too,” Chanyeol bit back, “You pushed me away, you drove me to leave. And you expect me to know that you wanted me back?”

 

“You know I did it so you could be happy,” Baekhyun said bitterly.

 

“You were wrong to assume I would be happy achieving my dreams at the expense of losing the love of my life.”

 

Baekhyun faltered at those words. Chanyeol was the love of his life, too, and it hurt when he walked out on them. “You never fought for us,” Baekhyun shot back.

 

“I did.” Chanyeol disagreed. “I told you to come with me but you just shot me down and shut me out. What was I supposed to do? You’re just as stubborn.”

 

Baekhyun shook his head, feeling the anger drain from him. “Let’s not fight over the past,” he said quietly. “We were both wrong.”

 

Chanyeol nodded his head sadly. “We were.”

 

“We may have a lot of regrets but nothing can change the fact that everything is different now.”

 

“Maybe it’s time we both moved on…” Chanyeol sighed.

 

“Maybe it is.”

 

--