“He’s like a living flower. So beautiful and frail looking.”.

“His face is everywhere. It’s kind of annoying.”.

“One of the best actors I’ve ever seen.”.

“He seems stuck up.”.

“His smile lights up a room.”.

“He’s so fake. Anyone can force a smile.”.

“He’s arrogant during the day and parties at night. How does he keep getting acting roles?”

“One’s looks can only get them so far.”.

“I don’t like him.”.

“I hate him.”.

“He should go away, never act again.”.

“He should die.”.

.

.

.

.

Do they hate me so much that they wish for my death?

“Yah! Lee Sungjong?! Tell me how your phone is more interesting than me?!” Sungjong’s manager, Kim Sunggyu shouted, making a grab for Sungjong’s phone. Leaning back just enough to be out of the older’s reach Sungjong closed the internet browser on his phone and pocketed the device.

“Sorry, Hyung. Just some celebrity gossip.” Sungjong smiled. Sunggyu scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. With just the two of them in one of the company’s private rooms, the silence was calming, one of those rare moments of peace before Sungjong was bombarded with camera flashes, screaming fans, and….. comments.

“Sungjong, don’t let what anyone says get to you. You’ve gained your success through your own talents and ambition.”.

“Since when were you one for pep talks?” Sungjong questioned with a giggle. Sunggyu sighed.

“Howon and Dongwoo are throwing a party tonight to commemorate a successful run of promotions and since you are all in the same company, it’s only proper for you to attend.”. Howon and Dongwoo. The hip hop duo under their company, Woollim Entertainment, that garnered popularity and awards quickly after their debut. Under the name Infinite, the pairing worked for them as the two had become friends during their training period. Sungjong had even helped break the ice between them when they had only seen each other as rivals.

“Who else is going?” Sungjong questioned, tapping his finger against his thigh, he had a photo shoot tomorrow for some magazine in the late afternoon so some drinking and going to bed late could be permitted.

“I don’t have a definite list, but Woohyun and Sungyeol are a definite.”. Obviously, Sungjong thought. Both men were also under Woollim. Nam Woohyun as a solo ballad singer and Lee Sungyeol as a comedian turned actor. “A few producers and company staff and artists that featured on the album.” Sunggyu continued with Sungjong nodding along.

Who had featured on the album, again? There were some artists from Brand New Music Entertainment. Who else? A member of Woollim’s new girl group, Lovelyz? Had Sungjong even received an album? Had he even heard one track off it? He had been too distracted, he just forgot.

“The party starts at 8pm, a car will be taking you to the club where it’s at and will return you to your condo when you wish to leave.”. Sunggyu paused for a moment. “I know your last gathering didn’t end well, but you have to show that those comments don’t affect you.”. Sungjong winced at Sunggyu’s bluntness but knew his manager meant well. It had been over a month since Sungjong had gotten together with other idols outside of photo shoots and T.V recordings. He would hole himself up somewhere quiet and wait till his next schedule. Acting the wrong way around other people, saying the wrong things, even portraying the wrong emotion can cause the most mundane person to think they are an important critic.

“For such an acclaimed actor, you are quite the introvert.” Sunggyu commented.

“You’ve been my manager from the start and you’re only now realizing that?” Sungjong chuckled. Sunggyu shot Sungjong a look.

“It’s not hard to miss. I just thought you would have come out of your shell by now, called people to hang out with all on your own instead of waiting for invitations. It’s become obvious to me that you put on an act when you are around others. No one knows the real Lee Sungjong because you never show that part of yourself, with the exception of me and the CEO.”.

“He’s so fake.”.

Sungjong clenched his fist, his phone feeling heavy in his pocket.

“Thanks for the talk, Sunggyu. See you tomorrow.”. With just enough politeness, Sungjong bade his manager goodbye for the day and swiftly left the room.

Is it truly his fault that his self-esteem takes a beating each time he reads article comments? He tried to be himself when he first debuted, but no one paid him any mind. He was just a pretty boy with a dream of being an actor that came from a small company. If he wanted to be taken seriously, he had to hide himself, cover himself with image after image. Eventually, those images became a shield, a second skin. Like a flower curling up it’s petals at night to protect the fragile bud from the elements.

The drive from the company to Sungjong’s condo was uneventful. Though he watched the road, his mind wandered. The last gathering he had been to was over a month ago, a cast party for his last drama that wrapped with top ratings and positive reviews, paving ways for those few actors and actresses just entering the industry. They were full of hope, full of ambition, just like Sungjong had been. After finding his cup empty for the fifth time that night, Sungjong hadn’t been in the same mood as his co-stars and the production staff. 

Sunggyu had caught him before he could finish his seventh drink and attempted to drag the drunk idol out of the club that had been rented. Tried. That didn’t mean Sungjong was willing. The events were fuzzy in Sungjong’s memory, all he could remember was a suffocating feeling and not wanting to be around anyone. When Sunggyu had grabbed him, Sungjong had drunkenly fought against his manager’s hold. The next morning Sungjong had awoken with a killer hangover in his condo, and Sunggyu appeared before Sungjong with a black eye; Sungjong had punched him, and pictures and an online article about Sungjong causing a drunken disturbance. The critics and readers fed off of the bad-press and attempted to drive Sungjong’s name through the mud. No one defended him. No one supported him. He was quickly labelled as a drunk with anger issues. He had apologized to Sunggyu and made written apologizes to the club and to his fans about his actions, promising to only show a good image after he had time to reflect. A month later and he still took the minimum job offers. And now, he had to meet his label mates for their own night of celebration. His stomach was giving nauseating flips.

Sungjong parked his car in the underground parking lot and pressed the button on his key twice to lock and set the alarm. The elevator brought him to the 16th floor and he fiddled with his keyring as he walked to his door. Locking the door after entering his condo, Sungjong sighed as he slipped his shoes off. With his attendance at the party being an order, Sungjong decided to take a nice, long bath and slowly get himself ready. Flicking the nearest switch, an array of lights illuminated above him, bringing the open living room/study to full view. The wooden floor contrasted nicely with the black furniture and white walls. 

Ignoring the kitchen and his bedroom, Sungjong stripped himself of his clothes, one article at a time, as he neared his bathroom. In just his boxers, Sungjong twisted the tap in the bathtub and put the plug in place and watched water slowly fill the tub. Adding a bit of some soothing bath oils Sunggyu had bought him for his birthday, Sungjong also poured in some bubble bath. The room soon smelled heavenly and felt warm. 

Stripping off his boxers, Sungjong stepped into the bathtub, a groan leaving him the moment his foot slipped bellow the hot water. Stretching out in the large tub, Sungjong closed his eyes and rested his head back against his bath pillow. Bubbles floated around him and it felt the first time in a long while that he was truly able to relax. No one watching him. No one berating him. No one worrying about him. Inhaling once, Sungjong slide down and submerged his head under the water and moved his hands to rub against his face, cleaning his skin. Running his hands through his hair a few times, Sungjong resurfaced. Rubbing his eyes with one hand, Sungjong reached for a bottle of shampoo and continued his routine.

Towel wrapped around his waist, Sungjong strode into his bedroom closet. Considering it was Infinite’s party, its more than likely the event will be semi-formal. Hell, those two would probably show up wearing skinny jeans, jerseys, skating shoes, and caps. Grabbing a pair of black dress pants and a dark purple dress shirt and throwing them on his queen sized bed, Sungjong began searching for a pair of dress shoes. Outfit assembled, Sungjong noticed his phone light up.

Be ready by 7pm.

It was a text from Sunggyu. That busybody. At 6 o’clock, Sungjong deemed it a good time to started getting ready.

Slipping into his clothes, Sungjong hoped beyond anything that the number of guests would be small and that no one asked him unwanted questions. There would be the obvious congratulations he would give Hoya and Dongwoo and they, in turn, would wish him a good future. Sungjong doubted he would have one. At least those two had each other, sharing a dorm together, traveling together, performing together. Yes, spending an incredible amount of time with someone was bound to rub some nerves raw but at least they weren’t alone. Having someone to share comments and concerns with that knew the exact same things you were going through was a Godsend. Sure, he had been invited by one or the other to hangout but clinging to something brought an addiction. Sungjong didn’t want to bring Infinite down with his critics.

When the car arrived, Sungjong noiselessly stepped into the backseat and buckled himself in. The sky was darkening to a deep blue. The driver gave Sungjong a brief nod before driving away from the curb, already knowing the destination.

With the time it took to travel from his condo to the club, Sungjong mentally prepared himself for the worst. Flashing cameras, pushy reporters, and screaming fans nearly blocked the club entrance, staved off only by security. Sungjong kept his head low as he strode into the building, ignoring the screams that assaulted his ears but maintaining his signature sweet smile.

The event was not as intimate as Sungjong would have wanted, but it was at least not wall to wall people. Groups had split off, some men and women chatting some dancing. Sungjong dropped his smile when he was far enough away from the cameras and he approached the bar. Drinks were on the house, covered for the good publicity. A thin woman with long black hair tied up in a high ponytail greeted him.

“Rum and coke. Double.” Sungjong ordered absentmindedly, looking through the dim room for any familiar face.

The filled glass was set before him and Sungjong nodded his thanks, spotting an odd bucket hat amidst dresses and semi-formal wear. Jang Dongwoo was never one for conforming.

“And that’s when Hoya sai- Yah! Lee Sungjong! Did you think you could hide from me all night?!” Dongwoo screeched, interrupting himself. A group had formed around Dongwoo as he told one of his famous tales from his trainee days. A few people looked interested but most looked bored, only hanging off of Dongwoo for a chance to gain his favour.

“Yes. That’s exactly why I was walking towards you and not away.” Sungjong joked snidely. Dongwoo smiled at him anyway and gathered Sungjong into a mighty hug, Sungjong only just able to keep his drink from spilling as he was manhandled by the older man. “I only just got here.” Sungjong added.

“And you’ve already visited the bar?” one woman smirked, eyeing Sungjong with clear disdain as he was able to get Dongwoo at his side in only a few seconds.

“Well, it is a party after all.” Sungjong shot back. “You don’t want to celebrate Infinite’s success?”. The woman visibly sputtered, causing Sungjong to smirk while Dongwoo laughed. “So where is Hoya?” Sungjong questioned.

Dongwoo’s lips pursed comically. “He’s cheating on me. He saw an old friend and left me all alone.”.

“Wow, Hoya left you here to collect flies.” Sungjong commented, hooking his hand around Dongwoo’s elbow to drag him away from the group of vultures.

“Hey. I’m older than you. I’m suppose to drag you away.” Dongwoo continued pouting.

“You’re too nice for that kind of behaviour.” Sungjong countered when they were closer to the booths. He didn’t want to monopolize Dongwoo’s attention but it was for his own good, at least until Hoya came back. Sungjong set his untouched glass on the table and took a set. He slumped back against the seat and sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry you’re having a bad time.” Dongwoo spoke sombrely, seating himself across from Sungjong. “It’s just that you’ve been holing yourself up for a month now. It’s not healthy to stay away from friends for that long.”. Friends. Sungjong had half a mind to scoff but instead gave Dongwoo a small nod.

“I just don’t think I like being around these kind of people. Gossipers and backstabbers.”.

“Not everyone has an ulterior motive.”. 

Dongwoo really was too kind for the entertainment world. Or Sungjong was just too jaded.

The night went on, the party slowly picked up. Guests loosened up as drinks were consumed, and Sungjong didn’t dare drink more than that first glass. Dongwoo eventually was pulled away by a manager to be introduced to some potential company investors. Hoya had greeted Sungjong before being whisked away again but Sungjong could see him clearly on the dance floor.

Resorting to water, Sungjong remained in the booth, tapping his finger against the glass to the beat of the blaring music. Pretty girls winked at him whenever he looked up but Sungjong was not in the mood.

“You’re ruining the mood, don’t you think?”. Sungjong grit his teeth and looked up.

“I’m not exactly here by choice.” Sungjong spat at Do Kyungsoo’s expressionless face. The actor’s lips pulling into an irritating grin was enough to make Sungjong’s blood boil.

Kyungsoo glanced around the immediate vicinity to make sure no one of importance was too closer before sliding into the booth, sitting across from Sungjong. It would ruin his polite, gentlemanly image if he was seen associating with the flower boy with an attitude problem. It hadn’t even been an hour since Sungjong arrived. Sunggyu would ring his neck if he tried to leave this early.

“What are you doing?” Sungjong sighed heavily, agitated.

“Sitting.”. Kyungsoo had always tried his best to get under Sungjong’s skin, make the younger lose his cool and until now, he had been unsuccessful. Sungjong could feel his facade cracking the longer he was sat in this club, he could feel his skin crawling under his expensive outfit.

“If I’m such a mood killer, why are you risking your image by sitting with me? Is ‘entertainments biggest star’ eager to make friends with the ‘spoiled flower boy’? Because frankly, I’m not in the mood to entertain at the moment.”. Kyungsoo’s lip visibly twitched, not prepared for such a cold response. Did he think Sungjong would easily back down? He normally would have, but something just didn’t feel right about the whole situation. 

“So Lee Sungjong doesn’t like making friends? Too bad.”.

“So Do Kyungsoo likes to pick fights in clubs?” Sungjong retorted.

“Do you really think you could take me in a fight?”. The raised eyebrow made Sungjong’s fist clench on the table. “You’re a twig. I could accidentally break you just by brushing up against you.”.

Kyungsoo’s demeaning chuckle was the final straw. Sungjong fixed Kyungsoo with a glare filled with as much hatred as he could muster before swinging his legs to the side and stepping out of the booth. Phone quickly in hand, Sungjong sent his driver a text and made his way to the entrance. Sunggyu could as much as he wanted, but if Sungjong stayed much longer, he’d only cause more damage than a small scrap.

Whatever Kyungsoo was shouting at his back was drowned out by the volume of the music increasing. Striding passed the bar and the coat check, Sungjong pushed open the doors of the main entrance and quickly inhaled a cool breath of fresh air. With the stuffy atmosphere of the club behind him, Sungjong looked up at the cloudy sky that hid the moon and any stars. It took a moment for Sungjong to feel the chill in the air as he stood by the curb, waiting for his car to appear.

“-jong! Hey! I said wait!” Kyungsoo called as he followed Sungjong outside.

“Just leave me alone. I just want to go home.” Sungjong growled, spinning on his heels to watch the older man approach. Sungjong took a step backwards, giving Kyungsoo the hint that he didn’t want anyone in his face. The street was packed full like it had been when he had arrived, but there was still enough people to notice if Kyungsoo made a scene. People who would have cellphones and would recognize one or both of their faces.

“What is wrong with you? I’m trying to talk to you.”. The fact that Kyungsoo was angry at Sungjong brushing him off did little to better Sungjong’s mood.

“I don’t want to talk to you, or anyone!”. Sungjong turned to look along the road, hoping for his car to be in sight but not a single vehicle parked in front of him.

“You-.” Kyungsoo started, unexpectedly reaching his arm up to shove at Sungjong’s shoulder. The force was unexpected and Sungjong spun on his feet to face Kyungsoo again but his heel slipped off the curb and Sungjong was suddenly falling backwards into the road.

The blinding pain that came from a car striking his hip and lower back was instantaneous. Sungjong’s torso collided with the hood and when the driver hits the breaks, Sungjong’s body was tossed in the air and he hit the road in a rumpled pile of useless, broken bones. The dull thud being the last thing Sungjong heard before his vision failed but he could feel the cold asphalt under his bleeding cheek, the cold seeping into his own body. There was nothing to hear but the blaring ringing in his ears.

“…spinal damage…permanent…concussion…keep him…dead…”.

It's been a while. I feel rusty, but lets see how this goes.

Have a good day or night :-D