♪ I should give up
But I just keep on lovin' you
And it breaks my faith
But it keeps me sane
I should give up
But I just keep on lovin' you
If I walk away
It could be my grave ♪

"I was thinking it's been a while since you called me out, and here I am, surrounded by paintings I can't get my head around again."

Ignoring Yugyeom, Jinyoung kept walking as he viewed each artwork he passed by. Sometimes he would stop for a moment to observe the ones that caught his attention. He had always loved painting since he was young, he was even in his high school art club. He only doing it for fun, though. He knew he wasn't talented enough to pursue it, but he just enjoyed bringing colors into blank canvas. It had been a while since he held a brush, so going to exhibitions was his only salvation after every stressful week.

"Hyung~, I'm hungry, let's eat," the younger whined and swung his arm as he clung to it.

"Stop complaining, okay? I'll treat you after this. You should as well look around since you're already here."

"Look at what exactly? I don't understand anything. In my eyes they're just random colors and shapes on canvas. Even when I do, I still don't get why they paint it."

Jinyoung clicked his tongue as he shook his head. "How can you choreograph dance performances when you can't even understand this?"

"It's different!"

"Both are portraying things through symbolism so they're all the same, the only difference is the media. Now shut up before the security drags you out for creating disturbance with your piping voice."

Jinyoung left the giant kid grumbling by himself as he moved to another painting, lips trembling from holding his chuckle back. Sometimes Yugyeom could be more childish than his students. But that urge to laugh dispersed the second as his eyes stuck on the next painting. Not even Yugyeom bumping into him could move his feet that was glued to the floor. The distinct shades he could never make no matter how much he tried to mix it himself, layered across the canvas in smooth, heavy forming soft-edged shapes. A style he had seen since high school days that he instantly knew the artist behind it without seeing the signature.

JB.

Even through the years, his paintings still took his breath away. Every gentle of oil colors exuded warmth. In a glance there was nothing different between Jaebum's recent paintings and his old ones, but he could see it. Back then, his works were dripping with serene joy, but the painting in front of him was mellowed by forlorn longing. He often wondered if it was because he lost his parents or something else that had something to do with his disappearance, but it was a question which would never be answered since they were never going to meet again. He couldn't.

"Is this Jaebum-hyung's painting?," a voice behind him ask. Jinyoung nodded. Yugyeom stepped beside him, finally fixed into a painting without rumbling and said, "I miss him."

"Yeah, me too."

"Jackson-hyung told me you went to find him. Is he alright?"

"As far as I see, yes."

"You're not going there anymore?"

"He told me not to look for him again," he said bitterly. He didn't expect saying it with his own words to hurt so much.

"And you just agreed?," Yugyeom snickered, "I'm surprised. Where does the stubborn-as-a-mule Park Jinyoung go?"

Jinyoung looked away from the painting for the sake of giving the younger his most deadly glare. "Shut up, you brat."

Yugyeom laughed, and he turned his attention back to the canvas, hoping to turn his ears deaf for a moment. The laughter came to an abrupt end, and he almost thanked God before his sleeve was tugged over and over again.

"What now?," he hissed annoyedly.

"Hyung, isn't that… you?"

For a second his breath stopped as he started recognizing his once favorite jeans jacket in the painting. The black backpack the person wore was similar to the one hanging on his shoulder. Of course he wouldn't remember what he wore a year ago, but then there were the cherry blossoms, that big stone. If he wasn't wrong, it could only mean one place.

"It's you, right?," Yugyeom asked again, which he could only answer with silence since his voice had lost somewhere in the process of realization. "But why?"

Why indeed.

--

Jinyoung groaned along with his joints as he straightened his back up. He had been bending down, cleaning after the mess that was left by the kids. He threw himself sprawling on a sofa, exhaustion dragging down his body like added weight. His students might be cute, but they were still little monsters. Each was a mass of limitless energy who knew no tiredness which was hard to keep up with. Maybe he needed more exercise. Or maybe he was just getting old.

He needed it though, being busy. He needed something to focus on, or else his thoughts would have wandered to one person. Someone who had occupied his mind already as he watched the ice crystals descending from the sky outside, spreading white blankets over the ground.

It was snowing when they first met, though he knew him since way before. They entered the same competition in middle school, however the piece that stole his breath wasn't the winning one. It was one that didn't even get into the top three which seeped through him and gently engulfed his beating heart with its warm embrace. Fortunately, the competition put up all participants' full name and the school they attend beside each painting, so it was easy to find him. At that time, he only admired him as a fellow artist, just like a fan watching their idol from afar following every work they released.

He finally saw him in person at his high school entrance ceremony. He remembered himself frozen like a statue from being starstruck. He started hoping he could at least talk to him, but they were in different classes. He thought he would see him in the art club, but he was wrong. Feeling disappointed, he gave up hope until that winter when he saw the other climbing a tree to save a cat. He saw the branch trembling, and all he could think about was the boy's hand as he ran to catch him on time. They become close friends at the cost of his own hand, but he wouldn't have it another way.

It didn't take long before something other than admiration made his heart pumped the blood to his head faster he got dizzy every time he saw him. He wasn't sure if he truly fell for him as a person or the creator of his favorite paintings, an extension of his admiration. Only after many nights spent desperately demanding the moon for an answer since the other's existence disappeared from his side did he truly certain of what his feelings were. But the only thing left was regret, which he carried until many years later.

He sighed as the thought of him brought him back to that painting he saw at the exhibition last week. There were so many questions in his head, and he couldn't stop himself for hoping. Did it mean he missed him? Did he regret telling him to stay away, hence why he painted it when he knew he would most probably see it? Did he wanted him to go back to that hill and see him again? Was it an answer to his confession? Did it mean he loved him too?

He shook his head. Once he started thinking about it, it would only go on and on and made him feel like an idiot. He walked up to the window to close the curtains when his eyes caught a man at the front gate. An idiot as he was who never learned a lesson from his mistake, he rushed outside, wishing his gut feeling was right. When he reached there, he didn't know if he was out of breath thanks to running or to the person in front of him, because he was truly who he thought he was.

"Jinyoung?," Jaebum gasped in surprise. Since he hadn't caught enough of his breath yet, he could only nod and greeted him with a wave of his hand like a fool.

"Why are you here?"

Jinyoung took a deep breath before answering. "I work here."

"You work here? So you're my niece's teacher?"

Only then Jinyoung noticed the small hand the other was holding. Jiyeon was staring at him with her big round eyes, confused.

"Yeah, she's my student. So Mrs. Im is your cousin?"

Jaebum shook his head. "Nope, his husband is. Noona is submitted to the hospital today since the due date of her second child is nearing, that's why I'm here instead of her."

"Is she okay?"

"She will be," he said. Then in the way he still remembered, Jaebum smiled. "It's been so long, right?"

"Right," he agreed. This past year did almost felt like another eight years for him. His mind kept telling him to ask about the painting, but the words got stuck in his parched throat as his tongue just sat stiffly in his dry mouth. Then a loud sneeze shattered all his thoughts, replaced by worry toward the girl whose it came from. Jaebum scooted down, helping Jiyeon to wipe her snot with his handkerchief.

"You should hurry home, it's getting cold."

"We should," Jaebum stood up and smiled again, "It's nice seeing you again, Jinyoung. So long."

"See you tomorrow, Jinyoung-ssaem," Jiyeon cheerfully waved her hand while sniffing.

"Yeah. Be careful," he waved back, forcing his mouth to curve into a smile. He watched as Jaebum's back moved away. One step, two steps, three steps. So that was it? After spending everyday feeling anxious and confused? He didn't even know if he would come pick Jiyeon up again, and the next day was a holiday. Should he let their fateful meeting end just like that?

Of course not.

He reached out his hand, wrapping his fingers around the other's wrist, stopping him for leaving. He walked up to face Jaebum, whose expression he couldn't read.

“Let’s meet again.”

__________________________________________________________

Sorry it took me sooo long 😭 I kept on changing which story I was going to update, and their plots too. Maybe this is what they call writer's block. Not to mention there's so much going on lately (+ my bias leaving SKZ💔). Sorry for keep breaking my promise when I said I'll try to update more often. I really tried, but couldn't finish it 😭😭😭 Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you like it ☺

Song: Kwaye - Keep On Loving You