Sungjae's POV

Today I had to go to LA for jibsabu filming. It's been awhile since I went to oversea. Last time in April I go to LA with members for our schedule. Right after that we were busy in preparing for our comeback. We had a lot to prepare such as audio recording, dance practice, discussing on our album packaging and  photoshoot as well. Past few months I really had hectic schedule where I need to go to the group fansign, jibsabu filming, CF shooting, and fanmeeting. Rather than being tired he satisfied because when think of it, he can spend more time with members and melodies. He can say that all of his hardwork was paid off in an instant.

This morning I go to meet Eunkwang hyung to bid my farewell. Unfortnately I can't send him off to military since my schedule was overlapped with his when he need to go I was not around in Korea. So I'm going to say goodbye in advance. I packing my belonging into the luggage and ride the car straight to Eunkwang hyung house after that. Soon, I arrive and Eunkwang hyung welcome me with his bright smile.

"Yahhh Yook Sungjae you come!" He said while making a way for me to come in. I just come here a few days ago with other members to have our sleepover together before Eunkwang hyung enlistment. We talked a lot, having fun, drinking and teasing each other that night. Another memories that we created to be remembered forever. 

"Wahhh last time we left this place in such a mess hyung. Now it super clean and clear. You are really really productive person." I teased.

"Of course" He replied and take his seat infront of me "You guys such a brat! Once I wake up that morning you guys left already without even bother to clean all the rubbish"

I laugh. "I'm sorry hyung. I really need to go early because I forgot to switch off my water pipe at my house" I pause try to convince him "Hyung, if I late for a minute my house will flood"

It sound ridiculous even in your ears but Eunkwang just let it go. "Aish you really had a good reason huh?" 

"I need to survive"

We laugh.

"I have to go to LA this evening you know right? I unable to send you off next week i'm so sorry hyung" 

"It's okay Sungjae-ya.. What can you do about it? Will you cancel your flight and send me instead?"

"Of course not" I said immeately without hesitation.

"You brat!"

After a long conversation with hyung for about 2 hours straight. it's time for me to leave. We talked about many things. About our life, our future and how we want to stick together forever. Even i'm such an evil, I apologize for all things i did to him and thanked him for all this time he taken care of me very well. And lastly we hugged for freaking minutes. Eunkwang hyung almost in the verge of crying again. I'm trying  lifting up the mood by saying, "You are ugly but when you are crying you are even uglier"

He slapped me slightly while laughing. At least he didn't cry.

After bid my farewel, I go to the SBS to meet up with jibsabu production team. On the way to SBS, I think of Ilhoon and decided to call him. After a few rings, he pick up the phone.
 
"Hmm Sungjae?" Ilhoon answered with his usual lazy low tone.

"yeah Ilhoon hyung... what are you doing?" I pause "I'm on my way to SBS and straight to airport after that" 

"Oh you going to LA today..." He said. His voice was so low almost unheard. "I'm doing nothing just lie down on the bed"

"Ahh really? You worked hard this few days"

Then he goes silent. I wonder if he falling asleep but i wait for him to say anything.

"So you going to LA. Don't forget about me. You gonna be missed"

Ahh so sweet. Why my heart always feeling so heavy when he make that tone in a pleading way like indirectly said to me that he need me.

"Me too. I'll miss you" I said "Do you want anything from LA? I will buy for you"

"Hmmm...." I can say that he was thinking while looking at the ceiling "We went to LA last April right? I don't think i need anything right now. But I guess a pair of shoes could be fine. Gucci brand okay?"

"As expected from you" I said teasingly.

"What else could it be? If I don't said anything you already know what I want right?"

"Yes...You want me"

"Yahhh!"

I lauged playfully. 

"Just now I visit Eunkwang hyung to bid farewell before I go" I informed.

"Oh really? How is he? Good?"

"As usual... We talked about a lot of stuff today. And I can say that he has heavy heart to leave us"

Suddenly we are in a sad mood again. The person on the other line sigh heavily.

 "When are you going to meet him?" I asked. I know Ilhoon hyung was hurt about Eunkwang hyung enlistment more than anyone else. Eunkwang hyung is his idol 
ever since they debut until now it never change . Not just an idol, Eunkwang hyung just like a pillar for him that support whenever he was in a terrible state. The one that he always looking for advice and encouragement.

"I will.. but not right now. Maybe on 21st?"

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked worried "Don't be sad. I will always be with you" I said in the most reassuring tone. I just don't want him to be lonely. I will 
always cheer him up no matter what.

"I'm okay.Don't worry. We should be happy when sending him off so that he can leave us at ease right?"

"Yes that's right."

And then we goes silent again. I don't want to hung up yet. Just him on phone can make me feel his present. It always comfort me that way.

"How long until you arrive? Still far?"

"No...about 4 minutes until I arrive at SBS"

"Ohhh..." He said on the other line. Sound like he wake up from his bed to reach out for something. "I want to hear this song until you arrive. Do you want to hear it?" He asked carefully.

"Okay that's good"

And after a few seconds I heard a song played at the background. It's Fly Away

You were like a pillar,
Supporting the center my reality
That place is my greenhouse,
I can only grow
inside of you
Bad thoughts of cowardly hiding
Keep lingering in my head
Everything fades like an old dream
Memories follow me
Like a cloud above my head
I can’t take it anymore
You always always on my mind

Tell me more easily now
So I can understand you
You can’t miss me
You just go and fly away

Eh eh eh eh eh
I guess I miss you baby
Eh eh eh eh eh
Every little things gonna be alright

It’s gotta be you right It is only you uh
It’a gotta be you right, it has to be you
Coward, coward, coward
I’m a coward who can’t do anything without you
I’m sorry that this is how I am, it’s so funny
But what can I do? It just has to be you

The more I try to hold on,
The more it breaks apart
Memories follow me like a cloud above my head
I can’t take it anymore
You always always on my mind

Tell me more easily now
So I can understand you
You can’t miss me
You just go and fly away

I can’t forget
All of your habits and words
It’s still hard to let you go
Cause you are my baby

Come on go on and spread your wings
Girl Lemme see you fly far away from me
Cuz we know if we start talking
we’re gonna be back at square one
And we can’t do that anymore
We gotta move on

Tell me more easily now
So I can understand you
You can’t miss me
You just go and fly away

Eh eh eh eh eh
I guess I miss you baby
Eh eh eh eh eh
Every little things gonna be alright

"You are really sentimental these days Ilhoon hyung?" I asked teasingly.

He didn't said anything but i know he is smiling on the other side. "So have you arrive yet?"

"Yes just arrived. Manager-nim going to park the car"

"Good then. Have a safe flight Sungjae"

"Alright. I will hung up now hyung. Saranghae"

"Nado saranghae" After hang up, I straight away enter the building and go to jibsabu department. After discussing about a few things regarding the filming, together with the production team, we go to incheon airport. 

For this episode of jibsabu he totally got no idea who would be this time. It just so amazing that  master willing to invite them to his house in LA. I guess this master had so much standard and open-minded personality. Actually he had a few person in mind and if it's true, their journey  going to be enjoyable, fun and adventurous. Anyway, anyone will do as long he got the lesson and experience from the master.

As expected there are lot of reporters, fansite-nims, and fans waiting for me at the airport. I posing for the camera and wait for all the jibsabu members arrive in the gatehouse. Camera was start rolling and they start the filming when all jibsabu members arrive except Seunggi hyung. Since he had schedule previously, he will arrive later on. So we give him a phonecall instead.

It is exactly 6.00 p.m and we started boarding the flight. 15 hours long flight was really tiring and tense my veins. After touched down in LA, we need to check in to the hotel before meet up with the master. On the way to the hotel, Seunggi hyung suggest us to grab some food because we are all hungry. So we go to the "In n Out Burger" to fill our stomach. What I'm going to say it's all good and satisfying. It remind me of Ilhoon since he likes this kind of burger so much. 

Later after eating, we make our way to the hotel. You know how relief and content I am when enter my room. Without wait any seconds I jumped on my soft bed. I swear it is more too comfort in this room. It just feel so cozy and make me almost fall asleep before I remember to inform my arrival in LA to my family, members and of course Ilhoon.

"Ilhoon hyung, I had safely arrived" 

A short and simple text may do. After a few minutes, my phone beep once

"Alright. Rest well~" 

After received that short message from Ilhoon, I immediately falling asleep. Well I only had 3 hours left before they going to start filming again so I 
better use this remain hours to relax my whole body from the jet-lagged. 

Filming jibsabu always enjoyful for me because we did a lot of fun stuff and amusing things together with the master, chatting a lot, eating delicious food, learning something new and gain some lessons that never go waste in any second. I feel so grateful today. 

After finish my filming, I start my daily routines. Taking shower, eating dinner, putting on mask before going to bed. Lastly, I reach my phone and calling my Ilhoon. Yes, it is part of my daily routine. 

"Hey whassup man!" Ilhoon answer my call with such an energetic voice. How someone voice can make all your tiredness goes away like miliseconds. Just listened to his voice can make me smile.

"Hey why so loud ilhooniee~?" 

"Heee nothing~ I just feel so refresh and energetic. I just going back from the beach with Joo noona this evening"

"Oh really? Wahhh so lucky of you to have your good time spent well"

"What so different with you. You go to LA." He said unbelivably. He might thing I am ungrateful brat.

"I'm going here for my work remember? Not to have fun like you" I said. Protest.

"Again what's the difference with you? You working and having fun... Like throwing two birds with one stone. You pabo ya!" He laugh.

"Yahhh! Not that easy Ilhoon hyung~~" I'm whining again. When I'm with Ilhoon hyung I tend to be like a kid and show him the cute side of me. "I had to memorize the script given, settle the freaking mic on my shirt, and camera was everywhere! You know how suffocating to have cameras surround you and record every angle of you right?" I complained "Then I keep thinking what silly joke I can throw to make the show feel lively"

He constantly laugh at my remark. "Yes yes arassoyo~~" He said cutely "So what are you doing all day? Having fun?" Now his voice change. I love how his voice sound so convincing and concern at the same time. It shows me how much he really care for me.

"Nothing much..." And then I remind of something "Oh yes! Today we had our lunch with the master at this restaurant. He brought us there. Guess what? we are having western meals and it immediately remind me of you. I though, Ilhoon hyung must like this"

"Oh really? What did you eat?"

"Master ordered us sizzling beef steak, spagetti, pizza and burger" I said nonchalantly. "And bottles of whine"

"Woww! What a feast? Are you just telling me or trying to show-off?!"

"Both?"

"Yahhh!" 

And we laugh.

"So tomorrow? You have to filming again?

"Yes. Early morning at 4 am" 

"That early?! Ahhhh poor my baby~~" He said. I can imagine he making his pout face. He really love to baby me doesn't him? "Sungjae ya i will hung up now...so that you can take your rest"

"Already?"

"Yes" He said "Good night baby~"

"Good night hyung~"

Once we hung up I open my sns to see any update for today. I should asleep but unfortunately i'm not yet sleepy. I saw a lot of fans uploading fancams of Eunkwang hyung. Oh I forgot that today is his last musical before his enlistment. It means, it the last time for melody to see Eunkwang hyung. It such a pity and heart breaking.I scrolled my sns and watch every fancam that I saw. I don't know how much grateful I am to see hyung was loved by many peoples around him and give an endless support to him. I'm glad he was well loved from fans, staffs, and his musical mates. Eunkwang hyung must be  happy with the love he received. I can imagine his ugly face when he is crying. How unfortunate he isn't infront of me, I cannot making joke of him. After I had enough checking my sns, I decided to send a message to Eunkwanghyung before going to sleep.

"Congratulation for your hard work hyung. Now it's time to prepare for military. Don't forget to send me your uglier picture of your shaved head. Jalja hyung~"

Next morning I checked my phone. There's one message.

"Are you going to disrecpect me forever?!!"

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Tonight I checking up my sns as usual to see any update. Once I open my Instagram, 'btob_silver_light' greet me on timeline. There is a picture of hand-writing letter that was well-written from Eunkwang hyung. It was quiet long that spend me a minute to read it carefully. It was mostly about how Eunkwang expressing his thankful to melody, his wish for melody to always stay with him and BTOB forever, about his new haircut, telling us that he will stay healty and serve diligently. He didn't forget to nag melody to stay healty, don't get sick, eat well, don't late to school/work and such as. Like a real dad he is tsk tsk tsk what an ahjussi! And what come next make me really touched

"And please take care of our BTOB 2nd leader Lee Minhyuk and the rest of the boys!"

As a leader of the group, I swear Eunkwang hyung is really responsible and genuinely care about the members. All the good traits on him make me grateful to have him as our leader. It sure does make me feel so upset about Eunkwang hyung leaving soon. It shame I'm not be able at his side to spend more time with him. To throw joke and more. When I slide at the second picture of his post and there is Eunkwang hyung selfie with his shaved head. Wow I hate to admit it but Eunkwang hyung looking good with that hair. I double tap the picture and about to leave the comment like "Eunkwang hyung why you look handsome when going to serve military but not on our each comeback? " But before I do that I hold back myself from teasing him and try not to ruin everyone mood. I'm sure melody out there must hurting about this post. So I'm just being a kind maknae to not steal hyung spotlight.

Instead, I reach my phone and call Eunkwang. It's not long until he answer my call.

"Hyung? Where are you?" 

"Just coming home? Why maknae ah?"

"Nothing. Just feel to call you"

"Aigooo are you miss me Sungjae yaa? Aigooo aigoo" I heard he said with most annoying tone ever. If he was infront of me, I might get my head pat by him like a little puppy.

"Huh? Hyung are you serious? Actually I call you because I want to give my comment about your hair. Need to hear?"

"Oh really? Did you saw it?!" 

"Of course! You post it on instagram" I said unbelievable.

"Oh right right" He said more like to recall himself about that. "So you want to comment about my hair? Can I not hear about that?" He chuckled.

"But I want to give my honest opinion hyung~" I whining.

"Ahh yes yes. What is it?" 

"You look more handsome with your current haircut" 

"Ahhh really?! I'm looking good?" He exclaim excitedly.

"Yes. For our next comeback you should do that haircut. I'm sure you will blew our fans away"

And I heard him laugh out loud at the other side

"Hahahahhahaa should I?! Right after I discharge we will have our next comeback straight away! So I can have comeback with this hair!"

"What a concept hyung? Military concept?" 

"Right, military concept!"

And we laugh. "Okay I will arrange the comeback 2 years from now" I teased.

"Alright. Do it."

"So where are you coming from? Did you make preparation already? For tomorrow " I asked after we calm our down.

"Yes all settle. I'm ready to serve. sir yes Sir!!" I can heard he doing that salute thing. And then he laugh after that. He might think it was absurd as well. "I just back from hanging out with Changsub, Chorong and Bomi for dinner. After that I got my haircut. Jajanggg~" He said with his cheerful tone.

"Good then... I'm going to hung up now.. sleep well hyung saranghae" 

"Sleep well too. Saranghandaa"

And with that we end our conversation.

21/8/2018...

So today is the day where Eunkwang hyung need to enlist at 2pm. I also wake up early this morning around 9am for filming. Together with the master, we head up to the one of the highschool in town because we going to do street performance. It was really excitng and thrilling to be able to perform infront of the locals here. We had a lot of fun while singing and dancing together plus doing the mission as well. 

It was about 3pm kst where the team give us break while they had to change the camera tape. So I take the chance to check up an update for Eunkwang hyung. As I've been told on kakaotalk, Changsub hyung, hyunsik hyung, peniel hyung, and Ilhoon hyung will going to send him off. Minyuk hyung need to film 'Law of The Jungle' in Maldives so he can't join them. They send a lot of pictures of Eunkwang hyung doing his salute and pose infront of the military basement logo. There are also a few of group pictures for the last one I can't help but to feel dissappoined for not being there together with hyung. Then I dropped a reply in kakaotalk,

"Serve well hyung....come back healtily!"

A few seconds after that, Ilhoon hyung replied

"Yahhh what are you doing? Hyungs miss you!"

After that followed by hyunsik hyung

"We are having a meal together after sending Eunkwang hyung. I'm not going to say it feel different when the members are not complete"

IRUNI HYUNG: But that's what are you saying hyung kekekekeke

PENIEL HYUNG: We are on the same table you... have just have to say it out loud *facepalm*

IRUNI HYUNG: So what's with you? You can just tell me directly

CHANGSUB HYUNG: Everyone being an antisocial because no Eunkwang to scold them T___T [Send a picure]

I open the picture Changsub hyung sent and it make me smile to see all the members busy with their phone.

Suddenly it hit me at how much I really miss the members. So I decided to videocall them. After a fews second all four waving at me excitedly

"SUNGJAE-YAAA!!!!!" They scream at me so loud at the point where I have to distant my phone for the sake of my ears. 

"Sungjae where are you?!"

"Sungjaeya what are you doing?!"

"Sungjae when are you going back?!"

"Sungjae have you eaten?"

They asked me simultaneously that make me feel regret video calling them. "Hey hey heyy slow down slow down please"

They laugh and calmed their down.

"Sungjae bogoshipeooooo~!" Ilhoon hyung whining with his cute voice smile sweetly. 

Afterward, we had videocall around 20 minutes. There's no a single second of my time wasted without having a nonsense talk with them because we are getting along so well. There are many topics that we brought up and mostly it's about Eunkwang hyung. I'm too immersed with the conversation to realise that it's time to start filming again. So I bid my goodbye and told them that I'll return to Korea tomorrow.

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The day after Eunkwang hyung enlist, me and minhyuk hyung comeback to korea. Minhyuk hyung arrive Korea exactly in the morning while I was departing late evening so I will arrived the next day as my flight took about 15 hours long.

Before departure, I had 3 hours left to go around LA to go to shopping and look around the city. As I had something to buy, I asked Seunggi hyung to accompany me to go to the mall nearby. Of course Seunggi hyung agreed immediately while Sehyung hyung insist to join us. Ended up, all the jibsabu members joined because Sangyun hyung want to come as well. I swear to God they are the same species who addicted with the word 'shopping'.

I was looking around the mall to search the best shoes for Ilhoon. Of course it should be classy, luxury and cool for him. While I was searching for the shoes, Seunggi hyung and Sehyung hyung non stop bickering at the back. Every shop we entered those two never fail to make each other annoying. I'm so frustrared when they literally argue with every single thing they can make to take a fight. Seunggi hyung usually mocking sehyung hyung with his old-fashioned sense while Sehyung hyung fed up with Seunggi hyung high-level self esteem.

I can't help but to feel hilarious with their immature behaviour. They make it more funny when Sangyun hyung need to apologize with every single sellers in the shop they visit when the situation almost chaotic with those two yelling at each other. There's even a time where they both interest with the same shoes and argue who's gonna buy it first. They make it a big deal when they just can buy a same shoes but they refuse to have the same one. 

I don't know what to do with them anyway so I dragged Sangyun hyung from those two to help me choosing the nice shoes for Ilhoon. After seek for a few recommendation from hyung, I agree to take a pair of white Gucci shoes. I bought it 2 for me and for Ilhoon. You can assume it as a couple shoes and you may think I'm a cheesy person but I really kind of person who will make everyone know what mine is mine so that I need at least show them some hints about that.

"Do you perhaps have girlfriend? And this shoes for her?" Sangyun hyung asked suspiciously.

"Hmm nope!" I said with a shy smile plastered on my face.

"YOU HAVE!"

"I SAID NO I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND" 

I actually denied it because it's true i don't have a girlfriend but boyfriend.

"Hmmm....So you refuse to admit it while you obviously HAVE a girlfriend. First, couple shoes you bought. Second, your annoying smile on your face"

Is my smile show up to much? Dammit I can't help but to smile when people teasing me especially when Ilhoon roaming in my mind "It's up to you hyung... 

If you think I have a girlfriend, so i have. But I really not" I said nonchalantly.

"Okay then I will wait for your revelation" 

"Haishhh really hyungg"

After I grabbed the shoes, I entered Balenciaga shop and bought some tshirts and belt. When everyone done with their shopping, we gather at LA airport as it's time for boarding the flight. For the first time in a while I see Seunggi hyung and Sehyung hyung in a good term. Only God know what happened during their shopping time.

At 8.00 am, I was safely touched down in Korea. I thought to meet Ilhoon straight away but I realized how tired I am due to economy class seat that a bit uncomfortable compared to business class. My back suddenly feel so pain and tensed so I decided to come home first to take a rest as I need to relax my body.

On my way back home, I send a text to Ilhoon hyung.

"Hyung let's meet tomorrow. I want to give your shoes. I'll tell you location later"

A few second later, I received a call from Ilhoon hyung

"Sungjae-ya...." He called me sweetly. Ahhhh how I miss him.

"Yes hyung?"

"When did you arrived?" He asked

"I just arrive. Now on the way to my house"

"Yahh you should tell me straight away after you arrive" He said seemed like upset because I didn't tell him "I miss you so can't we just meet today? Come to my house."

"I'm so sorry hyung. I miss you too. It's not like I don't want to but honestly I'm exhausted with 15 hours flight you know. I need some rest" I said with my cute voice. I perfectly know hyung can't resist my aegyo. It's one of his weakness I guess.

"Aigoo how pity this babyyy~ I'm sorry for being inconsiderate. I forgot you might tired. Okay you should take some rest. We can meet tomorrow"

"Yes hyung. I'll text you later where and when we'll meet"

"Okay good bye!"

"Good byee.."

As soon as I entered my house, I throw all my stuffs aside, take a shower and sleep right after. That's how tired I am. 

Next day, I text Ilhoon that I'll meet him at the restaurant near his house at 2pm. I told him that I want to go to the Cube after that since tomorrow we have a concert to perform and the first concert without Eunkwang, there are some adjustment we need to settle and practising as well. Ilhoon agreed to follow.

 5minutes early, I wait for Ilhoon in the restaurant while sipping a cup of ice Americano. As soon I see him entered, I waved at him and he take a seat infront of me. 

"Hi! How was my shoes?" He asked immediately with his angel smile on his face

"Are you gonna ask for your shoes instead of me? I'm hurt" I said pretend to be hurt while making a serious face. I hide my smile when I see he was flustered with my reaction. Then he quickly reached for my hand and squeezing gently. This is why I love teasing him like this. Whenever I angry or upset, he will immediately do something to win my heart back and to me it was so cute.

"You know I just kidding right. There is no any shoes that worth my attention more than you" He sound so sweet while staring straight into my eyes deeply. If he didn't hold my hand, I'm sure I will melting right on that spot

"So now you gonna underestimate the shoes I bought for you? It worth a million dollar and not to say it was limited edition shoes that I need to put amount of effort to look for it. You should at least appreciate it" I said while making a stony-face.

Ilhoon seemed taken aback with my respond and released my hand slowly. Then I saw he heaved a sigh "I really can't understand you" He shake his head with unbelivably expression on his face.

I laughed "So do you want to order anything?"

"No I don't want any" He said after scanning the menu "But don't you think you should at least order for me before I came. Aishhh where is your manner" 

"But I don't know what do you want" He didn't respond but just give me a side glance when hear my answer.

After awhile I hand him a paperbag content of his shoes. He look so excited to reach for it almost look like a little kid who receive his sweet. "Thank you Sungjaeyaa" He said and show his aegyo. I don't know but I want to pinch his cheek so hard because he look so innocence, pure and cute like an angel indeed.

"Welcome" I didn't told him that I bought the same one for myself. I concern about my pride as well. It will be so embarrasing if he know I got us a couple shoes. He definitely will teasing me as a cheesy person ever.

Without he notice, I staring at him for a long time when he happily checking up his new shoes. I can't help but to adore him as much as I adore myself. He so pretty with his perfect jawline, his fair skin, his sharp nose, his bright smile on his face whenever he is genuinely happy and everything about him just beautiful to my eyes. Right at that moment I know that I deeply fallen into him.

We spend our times together quiet a long time there. It shows me how we miss each other a lot. Then I realised it's time to go and bid Ilhoon hyung to leave. He look at the clock and seemed displeased how time fly so fast when they are together. Then he grabbed the paperbag on the seat beside his before go to the counter to pay my bill. I walked to the entrance when suddenly Ilhoon hyung grab my hand.

"How can we go outside? What if fans spot us together?" Ilhoon hyung asked anxiously.

"I park my car exactly infront of the restaurant to make it safe for both of us ride the car"

 "Wahhhh you're so smart! That's why you are mine" He said and let go my hand slowly. I just smirk with his remark before exit the restaurant consciously followed by Ilhoon at the back with mask on our face. I pretty sure if we are burst for dating together, the news will spread like wildfire among melody as I knew we are their favorite couple in BTOB.