Hoya.

I miss you.

I think this will probably be the last letter to you. So I thought I might just tell you everything. I hope you understand.

Lately I haven’t been eating too well, no matter how much I eat, or try to eat, it all comes back up. The doctor told me it’s due to stress. Oh I guess I forgot to mention but lately the others have been forcing me to go to the doctors. I feel fine, honestly. They keep giving me these pills to eat, but you know me, I don’t like medicine. Oh I think I’ve finally gotten the more dedined six pack though. I’ve lost a lot of weight recently, people are telling me it’s unhealthy, but I’ve always wanted to lose a few more pounds. Now my jawline is well defined! I’d send you pictures but I’m not very good at taking pictures of myself.

I can’t sleep either. The empty room haunts me and sleeping makes me miss you. You always visit me in my dreams but the more I dream about you, the more I miss you. In my dreams we’re always together, just like before. Much happier. I think I’ve got bigger and darker bags under my eyes, I don’t need to wear eyeliner anymore haha, like when we used to perform dance.

Oh that brings back memories. Remember when you and I decided to start dancing together, at first we were awkward but later on we became professionals, teaching other people to dance. I loved that so much. It was passion, something you and I shared together. When I danced with you it felt like we were the only two people on the earth. It’s not the same when I dance by myself. So I gave up dancing, I felt like I was alone.

I’ve cried lots of times; every time I remember a memory with you, I cry even more. You know I’m the sensitive type right? When we watched sad movies together I would always cry, and you’d call me a baby haha. I guess I really am a baby if I cry a lot. But I’m just emotional okay? Haha that reminds me, sorry for the tear stains on this letter, I’m kinda crying right now. I hope my writing can still be read through the smudges.

I’ve moved out of our apartment a few days ago. I’m sorry. I couldn’t afford the rent by myself. The reason? Well I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier, but since I quit dancing I don’t have a job anymore. So I moved in with Sunggyu and Woohyun just temporarily. They said I could stay as long as I want, and even offered me a room, but I rather sleep on the couch. I don’t want to become a burden to them.

I kind of gave up waiting for you to come back. So I decided that I would go to you instead. I hope that’s alright. By the time you read this letter I would have already left to go find you, so don’t hide from me okay? I’m very bad with maps and I get lost easily, you know that right? Haha. It’s funny how I can still laugh when I’m crying this much.

I hope I won’t get lost but Hoya, I’m coming to you right now. So wait for me okay? I’ll be there soon.

                                                                                                                                With my infinite love, Dongwoo