Somewhere in space

Beyond our moon

Just like I thought, the security check was a breeze. It was basically the same as what they do in airports. Not like I’ve gone through and been on a plane before, but I did my research. It didn’t help calm my nerves at all though, because I knew I wasn’t safe until I got onto the space jet.

Actually…

I’m never going to be safe again. This thought hits me just as the Earth’s moon goes whizzing by.

I think I’ve done a lot of gutsy things in my life. I was always rebellious, and I would always jump into things without considering the consequences when I was younger. I haven’t changed much since then.

When Baekhyun and I were in first grade, I got sent to the principal’s office for getting into a fight with another kid in our class during recess. My classmates told me that other boy would always tease me and pull my hair because he had a crush on me, but I totally lost it and tackled him to the ground on the basketball court because it was so damn annoying.

In middle school, I refused to participate in gym class when I was on my period. The cramps were too painful for me to bear, and I would always sit out without permission. The teacher threatened me and told me he would fail me, but that didn’t freak me out. I ended up trying to protest at school and ended up in the principal’s office again. None of my classmates dared to join me except for Baekhyun, who stood beside me through it all. School was like that back then. Everyone wanted to make a good impression on teachers and get good grades. I understand that. But I’m the type of person who just can’t stay still. Of course, the staff called home and told my parents that I refused to participate in class and obey my instructors. I had to endure a few hours of screaming and lecturing, but I was okay.

In high school, there was a time when my mom got fired from her job. Back then, my dad was the only one working and we were struggling to put food on the table for a while. I stole groceries a bunch of times because we were so hungry. I told my parents I bought the food using money I earned from a part time job, but I had no job because no place would hire me. I lied a lot. I hated doing that. Eventually, I got caught one day and I was arrested. Things between my parents and I haven’t been the same since they saw me in handcuffs that day. My mom cried and screamed at me a lot. My dad wouldn’t talk to me for a while. I remember my parents asking me why I was like this. Why I couldn’t handle myself and think things through properly like other people. They asked me why I was always causing trouble. I don’t know either. It’s just the way I am. After that was the university entrance exam period. I didn’t do well, and I was unable to gain admission to a prestigious engineering program my dad hoped I’d get into. Truth be told, I had no interest in pursuing that sort of major, but I tried my best to do what my parents wanted because I felt like I’d disappointed them too many times. I told my dad I really tried my best, but to him that wasn’t enough. I hadn’t succeeded and that was the only thing he could focus on. He told me I couldn’t do anything right in my life because I was always messing around, and that was that.

You see? I’ve done all these things. But this time I know I really crossed the line. Back then I had Baekhyun standing beside me through it all. He was always a source of light and comfort during my most difficult times. Today, I’m truly alone.

As I expected, I’m the only person aboard. There aren’t any other passengers, and the whole thing is autopiloted. I’m going to be completely alone for the twenty-four-hour flight.

The interior of the space jet is really nice. It’s like a small… luxury apartment? Well, I wouldn’t know what a real one looks like because there aren’t any in Daegu. But this is really, really, really nice. The space jet is divided into six cabins. Each one is designed for a single passenger. There’s a queen-sized bed, mini fridge, and shower in every one. The lighting is dim, but warm. I’m tired so I switch it off. I can’t sleep, so I decide to dig around and see what’s in the fridge.

Unsurprisingly, I end up sitting by the window with a can of beer in my hand. I do my best to distract myself from my thoughts by staring out the window and attempting to enjoy the view. I want to say that it looks beautiful, but it clearly doesn’t. All I can see is the inky black emptiness of space with the occasional lone asteroid or piece of space junk passing by. I give up trying to convince myself things are better than they actually are.

After a while, I get a grip on myself and convince myself to get up. I have to eat and then rest as much as possible in order to prepare myself for whatever’s waiting for me when I land. As I drift off to sleep, I do my best to ignore the awful feeling of loneliness in my chest.