It's not a passing thought, she confirms, it's the umpteenth time I'm considering this. 

"Falling in love," Eunbi puts her book down and looks up with a small smile. Gazing into the distance, she speaks with a perhaps idiotic smile that she couldn't possibly care any less since there's only the presence of her sister, "I'd like to try that."

Sojung looks up and does not reply but raises an unamused eyebrow, having gotten used to Eunbi's antics as of eighteen years of being her sister. 

"I want it now," Eunbi's tone slightly changes into a whine, as she wrinkles her nose but doesn't turn to look at Sojung who is by now rolling her eyes. 

"Are you crazy?" Sojung hurls one of her notebooks at Eunbi from the table. 

"Yahh!" Eunbi dodges the book by sprawling herself down on the sofa.

"At two months to your entrance exams?" Sojung glares at the younger through narrowed eyes. 

Eunbi tries not to roll her eyes. It's not like I haven't considered that, she thinks, but replies otherwise. "It's not like I'm going to date anyone, merely falling in love isn't going to make me fail my exams," Eunbi seats herself up once again and picks the notebook up. Lightly she flings it back at Sojung, and it accurately lands on the table. 

Sojung retrieves the book, not bothering to answer Eunbi. 

"But I don't have anyone I think I can fall in love with. The perfect situations all sound the same, when a college student finds a charming professor, but I'm still in high school and no one really just loves a teacher," Eunbi continues speaking, in Sojung's opinion, nonsense. Sojung focuses on her notes and numerous colour pens and markers.

Eunbi taps on her chin and continues pondering about the idea. Who could she possibly be captivated by? Eunbi fascinates at the idea of being overjoyed simply by the presence of the certain someone. She wonders who fits, wonders which of the boys around her could be. The list could be long if Eunbi isn't picky, but that's exactly who she is.

She narrows down on a few: the tall, friendly classmate with whom they planned to study together in the weekend? No, Eunbi denies any chance. Or Jungkook who has been sticking by for quite a long time now and looking for opportunities to spend time study together, who has been quite nice a friend to her despite the various insults he has thrown at Eunbi, that antagonised her even though he was joking? No, Eunbi grimaces, the reputation of anything between them- even a close friendship- is destroyed. These two aren't good-looking anyway!

Eunbi then considers Moon Bin on whom she did crush for (quite) a bit earlier in the year. But she shakes her head, and with a twitching eye, decides that she has already put it behind her. Or even the charming Math teacher she's been glancing at whenever he walks by, but shoves the thought away in a split second, knowing it's a joke anyway and that the thought only occurred because in the books she's been reading some girls did have affairs with their professors in college. She's put it aside as if accepting that graduation is near and she might never need to see him again. She sighs and moves on to more options. 

A certain angelic face flashes in her head, the smiling face of her classmate that she's been growing to admire and wishing to be able to spend more time with.

What am I looking for? Eunbi asks herself, and comes up with three conditions: a kind-hearted or good personality, good looks (Eunbi chuckles inwardly), and someone accessible she can study with (or rather, look at) all the time. (Eunbi wants to crack up at the thought of this, for she knows she's just using this as an excuse for the dream-like scene of two alone in a classroom with the afternoon rays seeping through the windows, and a fluttering heart just by the beautiful sight of someone to admire.)

The name in her mind seems to fulfil all three, and she concludes that she'll be it. 

"Maybe Choi Yuna," Eunbi finally says something that makes Sojung look up again. 

"She's a girl," Sojung states, but thinking nothing wrong of it, having been guilty of similar thoughts. 

"And so what? It still isn't going to interfere with my plans of marrying a good man and raising a happy family in the future," Eunbi shrugs her shoulders amidst her nonchalant reply. 

"You have such plans?" Sojung poses a rather accusing question, with a shocked expression on her face. 

"Why can't I?" Eunbi protests, "Because it sounds too much like you and I'm not supposed to be like you?"

In fact, you're exactly like me, Sojung thinks, as a certain Jung Yerin appears in her mind. 

"Pabo, you read too many books," Sojung shakes her head and states rather casually, but they know it's as though a sigh of giving in, and it's the truth they ought to take note. "Real life isn't all that pretty."

Eunbi narrows her eyes at the older being a killjoy, for explicitly putting it out, for destroying Eunbi's hope of a chance however small it is. Eunbi realises that yes, she is reading too much, too much that every wish she makes is a dream only possible in the realms of fiction. "But still," she whines. I still want to dream, Eunbi thinks, even if realistically speaking it's impossible.

"Anyway, you've been reading for a whole hour, aren't you supposed to be studying?" Sojung conveniently casts the topic of conversation away. 

"I'm not you, I'm far from a perfect student who studies all the time," Eunbi answers plainly, "And I don't get how you're so hardworking when it's college you're in." And I'm not like you, Eunbi speaks to herself inwardly, I don't easily give up on my dreams even if they sound crazy beyond the bounds of possibility.

Sojung is once again reminded of their differences, and dismisses any attempt to continue speaking. 

Still, Eunbi harps on the idea and lets it linger. With a squeeze in her heart she arranges her bookmark in the book, closes it and puts it down. 

the title is "Idiot" not only cos sojung calls eunbi that (in fact i hadn't had a title in mind when i wrote that conversation); yes eunbi is an idiot for having such thoughts and wishes that her life can play out like a novel LOL and this is one of the reasons. i also confirmed that this is the title i want because of a book i've read this year late may to early june, it's titled "The Idiot" and really talks about a girl who's like me and eunbi who wishes that the things happening to us play out like novels, nicely and prettily. i ought to take sojung's advice, really, but we're all idiots who can't help but dream for the ideal. anyway, i shall not blabber too much. this piece was written from the bottom of my heart, tho it's short. i hope you liked it :)

ALSO BEFORE ANY ARMY ATTACKS ME, I AM NOT SAYING JUNGKOOK ISN'T GOOD LOOKING he is good-looking imo i just needed a character and jungkook fits. except the part about looks but i was more concentrated on the overall character. lmao