"The food was amazing."

Sarang wasn't fluent at English but she understood that bit just fine. The lively demeanor of the lady sitting in Sehun's study was something that altered the atmosphere and made it something you'd want to be in. She was someone who smiled a lot. Jung Soojung made herself at home just fine, Sarang remembered mentioning once that she should. That was solely because Sehun had reminded her to treat the woman with utmost kindness before going to bed last night.

It was strange because it was the first time he had properly spoken to her in that whole week and it was all about the deal he wanted to finalize at all cost. Sarang smiled at the comment on her food. "I want to make the lasagna the way you did. My mom will love it. Please relay the recipe through Sehun?" Soojung spoke too fast. Sarang grew flustered because her mind went blank.

With a red tint on her cheeks, she glanced at Sehun. "O-Okay," she told Soojung, wondering if her nervousness made any sense to the lady. Did she know that Sarang was suddenly feeling so little in front of her own husband? She fisted the material of her skirt. Unconsciously, her gaze traveled to Sehun again who was now preoccupied in the discussion of Soojung's parents. 

Just like that, she fell out of place. Her little steps towards Sehun all faltered as she stepped on the stones of her unawareness of his occupation and cut her already bleeding toes. She masked it with forced smile on her lips. But they didn't pay her any attention anymore so she didn't have to keep forcing herself to smile anymore. Sarang sat there, sewn into the cushions of the sofa, invisible, someone who could easily dissolve into thin air if Sehun tried hard enough. He usually didn't even have to try these days.

The silence of her world began to irk her. She stared at Soojung, who was so flawlessly beautiful and then her eyes traveled to Sehun. She could never see him in the light of cheating. Sehun could be ignorant about her and Hansol, but he wouldn't go that far. At least, she believed he wasn't made to be swayed by temptation even if his wife at home was bland, smelled of detergent and had hands roughed up by the chores of everyday. They had been through too much and that was why Sarang filled his lunchbox with warm food every morning, washed his underwear, looked after his house they had bought in installments and took care of the person who would take after him one day, their little Hansol who was sleeping in the next room.

At least they thought he was. Sehun and Soojung's chatter died down when a very sleepy Hansol pushed the door of the study and stumbled inside with his stuffed toy clutched against his chest. His eyes were half-closed. Sehun snapped his head at Sarang with such a stare that Sarang almost freaked out. He looked more ashamed than angry at his son showing up in front of a potential investor. 

"Hi, little man," Soojung waved at him. 

At Soojung's enthusiastic smile, he beckoned Hansol closer. "This is my, uh, son. Hansol, say hi," Sehun was about to pat Hansol's head when the little boy ignored him and took a steep u-turn towards Sarang. Hansol wasn't looking at anyone, his eyes were only open in narrow slits. It was through the scent his nose detected that he climbed into his mother's lap. 

"Mommy," he kept chanting to himself. Sehun motioned her with his eyes to leave but Sarang stubbornly stayed there. Sehun raised his brows at her while Soojung remained distracted by Hansol, caressing his cheek with her manicured hand. Hansol fell back to sleep in Sarang's arms, as if he was finally where he was supposed to sleep. There were visible stains of tears on his damp cheeks. Hansol clicked his tongue and swatted away Soojung's hand in his sleep, to which the lady laughed. 

"Do you still -feed him?" Soojung asked, watching Hansol scratch at his mother's chest mercilessly, still drowned in sleep. Her Korean caused a stir in the room. Soojung gazed at Hansol with fondness evident in her eyes, giving the married couple a little time to compose themselves. "Doesn't he eat regular food, Sehun? I heard he is four, that's a good age to start with rice."

Sarang watched the flustered eyes of her husband, how he had no clue as to what his son ate at this age. "We recently got rid of the -feeding habit and that's why..." she smiles at Hansol's hand around the collar of her shirt before putting it away, "He is still very cranky about it. Are you a mother too?"

"Oh, my youngest is in fifth grade. I have three sons," Soojung clarified. She didn't look like the mother of three. Sons, at that. Sarang was baffled at the detail because there was no way she would look so fabulous after giving birth to her third son. She already looked like a very tired and used rag. "So, you can take my advice. Does he wear diaper? Nappies are alright but changing them is always a hassle. Make sure you wake him up every two hours and send him to the bathroom, Sarang..."

Sarang sat there with her only son, listening to Soojung. But her eyes, for the majority of the time, remained glued on Sehun's. It was strange how she couldn't read him anymore. Did he want her to go, did he want her to stay, she'll never know. Because now his eyes were glassy, the emotions he felt inside couldn't be seen through these glass walls they've built around themselves. Sarang was captive in his castle of will, it was freezing cold as she tried to assume what he wanted and do accordingly. 

"I'll see you at work," Soojung shook her hand with Sehun at the door an hour later, an hour which she had invested in the advice for a new mother like Sarang. "And you," her kind eyes fixated on Sarang who was standing beside Sehun, an arm wrapped around his. They didn't do this often. "You look so exhausted. Take a break. Let him do the work sometimes, okay?"

Sarang smiled, "I'll try."

"See you later, then."

And they waved the brunette a goodbye as her car left their driveway. Sehun left her at the door afterwards as he received a call from his assistant. As she closed the door behind herself, all she heard was investment and fund and revenue and all these terms they had learned together once upon a time, when they were falling in love with each other, counting the lines of each other's hands under the desks, imagining a future where they would be equal in all aspects, where none of them would be made to feel less.

But as Sarang picked up each dish from the sink and scrubbed them clean, her mind realized the cycle she was stuck in. Not a single day was different. This loop of being in a marriage yet not being in one felt too solid, more than ever today she could feel it freezing her limbs and turning her into a numb robot. 

"Hey."

Sarang jerked with surprise when Sehun's warm fingers patted her shoulder.

"What?" Her response was too curt, but it was from her heart and she was annoyed about him. Sarang had no intention of hiding it anymore.

Sehun blinked. He rolled up the sleeves of his expensive sweater and proceeded to take off her apron from around her waist. "I'll do the dishes today," he said, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. Sarang had no intention to leave the work to him. She stayed frozen, like roots from the soles of her feet had grown into the soil. 

"It's okay. I can handle this. I do it everyday," she muttered under her breath.

"It's true what Soojung said," Sehun touched her cheeks and his thumb ran over the darkness under her eyes. "You're exhausted."

Sarang bitterly chuckled at that. "Should I be honored that you noticed it, even if a stranger did it first?"

Sehun's smile vanished. He took a second to understand where she was coming from. That one second was utterly destructive for this marriage. Sarang turned off the faucet that had been running all along. Sarang gulped down the anger in , lest she threw these porcelain plates at the wall and broke them. These expensive plates from the dinner set she had eyed every time they went to the mall last year until it was sitting on their dining table on her birthday one night. That was the last time Sehun had given her a present. She couldn't just break these plates. 

"Don't stand in my way. Let me work, Sehun."

"We've had this discussion, Sarang--"

"Yes," she nodded, still staring at the droplets of water gathered on her palm. " your discussion. I don't do these for fun...it's so hard for me to break apart like this and you know that too. But we've had this discussion last month too...I've been constantly beating myself up, wonde