Everytime I look at you I wonder. 

I wonder if what we had was real? Or was it just some dream all long? 

Sana..

I think about that once a day. 

“Morning, baby..” I murmured under the blanket, my hand stretched out to the side, only to find an empty space beside me. “Sana?” I called out, tiredly sitting up from the pillow.

“Sana??” I repeated, sloppily walking out to the kitchen where I saw my gorgeous wife in her suit and tie, seated at the dining table with a cup of coffee.

“Huh? Oh, morning, Momo.” You’d say with a small smile,

“I forgot to wake up early, didn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you did.” You’d giggle with your cutesy voice. “I’m going to work now, take care, okay?” You’d say to me everyday together with a small kiss on the cheek. But I wonder, are you really happy? Do you enjoy my company at all? Was all...this something we had even real? These questions keep roaming around my head, tormenting me with complete anxiety and sadness just at the answers to them. I want to escape this but I don’t want to, it could ruin something we had. What if I was just being stupid and worried for no reason and you wouldn’t see the trust in our relationship, and think I was crazy?

  I hated that my daunting mind had to remind me of how I..wasn’t Sana’s first wife, but I wish I could have been..

Kim Dahyun. 

Dahyun was Sana’s first ever love and they had been together ever since high school. And when they had gotten married, they were a relationship no one could break apart, until fate took Sana’s beloved Dahyun away that day. It was either the heavy influence of alcohol inflicted on the driver or it was just Dahyun’s unlucky day. But Sana, ever since that day, was never the same; she wasn’t the bubbly and joyful Sana I knew, her cheeky smiles would be a rare sight during those times and she was my best friend for a long time so it was pretty painful to see her like that. 

The fact that she was also my crush added salt to the wound. She kept to herself during that time, only going to work with a straight face, no happy greetings or whatever. She didn’t really want to hang out with anybody either. Dahyun was Sana’s world, universe and everything to her. So many memories were made with her only to be gone by an accident. This went on for months. That was when I decided one day, to take her out of her little shell and make her happy. It’s what best friends gotta do, right?

I decide to accompany her at her home or even bring her out for several nights for weeks in hopes to make a light spark inside Sana again. 

But on one fateful night, we were just hanging out at my home, there were few empty wine bottles on the table in front of us, mostly drunken by her.

“Momorinnn”

“Sana, how many bottles did you down??”

“Five..”

“...”