They tell me just watching is never good. I don’t listen. Then she comes over and tells me that she wants to confess to you. I’m genuinely happy for her when you agree to go out with her, even if the pain makes me want to die and that little hope that you would reject her is snuffed out. Months pass, and you and her are going strong. But one day I catch her making out with someone that is definitely NOT you. I consider not telling you, but my conscience prevents me from doing so. So I still tell you anyway, and as I expect, you don’t believe me and accuse me of lying. I get angry at you, and avoid you from then on. When you catch her and that guy making out again, you confront her and she scoffs at you for falling in love with her. I cut ties with her a long time ago, when I was shown her true colours – by accident, no doubt- and you go home sobbing and call me in the middle of the night to apologise and say that you were a fool for loving her, and you continue calling yourself that until you fall asleep. I just wanted to tell you then, it wasn’t your fault she dumped you like that, you were never a fool.

The next day you come running to me as I walk through the school gates. Your eyes look swollen and red and I know you cried even before you called me. You hang out now with my new friends and I, friends I know I can trust. You join dance, and watch me as I train you and other recruits. You watch me practise when the room is empty apart from you and me. You are a fast learner, I learn, as I teach you. Sometimes when we practise together alone in the room I wonder if you know what you are doing to me when you say that you feel hot and start taking out your shirt. One day I have had enough and I head out of the room for the showers. You run up to me the next day, looking all hurt and upset and asking if you did something wrong. I shake my head and say you did nothing wrong. We walk over to our classroom here our gang is. Months pass, and you and I are the best dancers in the school. We – the two of us and our gang- are the heartthrobs of the school. We are dancing in the dance room one day when like you usually do, you take off your shirt. I have never taken off my shirt in front of you, but something compels me to do so. I do it, and you gape at me, or more specifically, my muscles.

I shrug off all your comments and continue dancing. But less than 10 minutes later I find myself pressed against the mirror with your arms on either side of them. You bury your head in my neck and – am I dreaming? – hear you say you love me. I pray repeatedly in my mind that this isn’t a dream. You snap me out of it, calling my name gently. I say I love you back and you smile the sweetest smile I have ever seen you nuzzle my nose with yours and I giggle a bit you ten kiss me softly, gently. I respond and pull you closer, the kiss deepening and our tongues playing cat and mouse. We make love there and then, and as you draw out of me, my knees, which aren’t able to support me now, go weak and you carry me about the room, saying that it’s lucky it is after school. You help me get dressed as you do so as well. Then you help me home, where you kiss me on my nose and wish me a good night. I pout as you ask me what is wrong. I hug you and steal a kiss from your lips.

Having gotten what I want, I grin and limp towards my front door.The next day, I’m not limping that bad as you surprise me by back-hugging me. you nuzzle into my neck and squeeze me. I take hold of your hands, and still holding your hands, walk towards the classroom. I was trapped in a world of darkness the moment I heard that you accepted her confession. I had no light, no sense of direction. Then the day you confessed to me it was as if all the light in the world had chased away the darkness. You were, is and will be my life, Donghae, and I love you no matter what. Now you’re my husband, my lover. Our first anniversary is today, fishy love, my dear hubby, I’m waiting for you at our favourite park!

Your monkey wifey,
Hyukjae (Eunhyuk)
Hyukkie <3