They had spent the remainder of the previous day together, familiarizing themselves with their warmth once again.

The next morning, Joohyun woke up in her own bed, alone. Confused and slightly disappointed, she wondered if yesterday was just a dream. Her thoughts were interrupted by the shuffling of utensils outside her door.

She received her answer when she walked into the kitchen and saw Seungwan at the stove, preparing a pan to cook their breakfast. She couldn’t remember the last time she saw her like this.

Joohyun s her arms around Seungwan’s waist and the latter naturally leaned further into Joohyun as soon as she recognized her scent.

A slight blush crept up to Joohyun’s cheeks as she felt the ridges of Seungwan’s abs beneath her palms.

Placing a chaste kiss against Seungwan’s jaw, she leaned closer to her ear, stopping Seungwan from turning her head more.

Seungwan felt Joohyun’s lips ghost against the shell of her ear,

“Good morning.”

Joohyun pulled away when she saw Seungwan’s ear turning red and walked to the dining table with a crooked smirk on her face.

“Good- good morning Joohyun.”

She tried to remain focus on cooking, keeping her face towards the pan as she hid her burning cheeks from the older girl.

Shy glances were exchanged as they ate, this time, they both finished their food.

Joohyun drank the rest of her water and wiped her lips, “I’ve really missed your cooking, Seungwan.”

She reached across the table, placing her hand over Seungwan’s as she spoke with utmost sincerity.

“I’ve really missed you.”

Seungwan gazed directly into Joohyun’s eyes, then to her nose, then watched Joohyun nervously draw her bottom lip between her teeth.

Eventually her gaze dropped to their hands on the table, lingering for a moment before she met with Joohyun’s curious eyes.

“When did you realize you loved me?”

Joohyun smiled, holding Seungwan’s hand tighter.

“I’ve always loved you, it just took me a while to realize it was past platonic.”

Joohyun recalled the moments she cared too much, stared too long, and held too tightly.

---

Joohyun wasn’t dense.

She noticed how Seungwan froze whenever she got close; how her gaze sometimes dropped down to her lips for a split second before she found Joohyun’s eyes again.

At first, she thought it was admiration from the younger girl for Joohyun knew that her beauty was captivating, so she didn’t think much of it because Joohyun had her own ways of admiring Seungwan.

She admired how selfless and caring she was towards their members. She was aware of everyone around her, but herself. Seungwan didn’t seem to be aware that she would pull Joohyun closer, or intimately lace their hands together rather than just simply holding it.

Seungwan’s intimacy was Joohyun’s first sign. She remembered Seungwan telling her that skinship wasn’t much of a Canadian custom. Although Joohyun brushed it off, she added it to a list she wasn’t yet aware she was making.

As Joohyun thought about it more, she grew frustrated. She didn’t feel the same security in Seulgi’s arms. She loved Sooyoung’s voice, but it didn’t comfort her as much as Seungwan’s did. She didn’t let Yerim pry when she was going through something, but would immediately open up to Seungwan the second time she would ask if she was okay.

Seungwan provided everything more than just physical warmth.

By this point, she knew Seungwan wasn’t entirely straight, and she knew she might not be either.

Both have never shown interest in men. It took Seungwan three days to complete filming her music video with Eric because she couldn’t act girly enough, and when Joohyun began MCing with Bogum, she was scolded for not faking enough interest.

The only difference was that Seungwan’s music video was a one time thing, while Joohyun’s MC position was reoccurring.

She got good at it. Too good.

Seungwan only visited Joohyun once, and after that, her presence became less frequent. Even in the dorms.

Then the drift started to begin. The distance between their hands started to grow, along with the distance between their hearts.

Joohyun was uncomfortably comfortable with the distance. It allowed her to figure things out, but she didn’t realize how painful it was going to be.

The younger girl had made her feel too much, and Joohyun was trying to understand faster than she could comprehend.

She was running before she could walk.

Joohyun finally realized what she was feeling for Seungwan, but the latter was already slipping through her hands.

---

When Seungwan had fallen ill, Joohyun almost passed out. Surely, the other members have been sick, but it was different with Seungwan.

She had overworked herself, and her body could no longer keep up with the stress.

Joohyun recalled how nervous she felt when she walked into the hospital room, holding in tears that were threatening to fall.

It was the first time she got a good look at Seungwan in a while. Other times, she often saw Seungwan’s back walking away from her, or vanishing around the corner. The clothes she wore to the airport were quite baggy, and their stage costumes were tailored to make the members look incredibly skinny.

Joohyun’s tears finally broke when she saw how frail Seungwan’s body was. Her small frame looked even smaller in the single hospital bed, and her complexion was a lot paler than she already naturally was.

When Joohyun approached the bed, she took Seungwan’s hand into hers, thumbing over the IV placed in her hand.

She was startled with how cold her hand was; for the first time, Joohyun’s hand was warmer than hers.

She knew Seungwan was going to be okay, but she couldn’t help but curse herself for not paying enough attention to her, not that Seungwan let her though.

She looked so peaceful as she rested, a sight Joohyun missed waking up to.

Sitting at her bedside, tracing Seungwan’s protruding knuckles, Joohyun broke down once again, unable to believe she let it get this far.

As she bowed her head down to the bed, she felt a hand softly caress her head.

With teary eyes, she looked up.

“You’re awake.”

“You’re crying,” Seungwan released Joohyun’s hand to wipe her tears. The last time she saw Joohyun cry was when they were still trainees. It was certainly a rare sight to see.

For the first time, Seungwan had completely let her guard down and pulled Joohyun onto the small bed beside her. Joohyun blamed this on the medication, but nonetheless knew that this was Seungwan’s true heart.

After Seungwan’s recovery, Joohyun thought things would go back to the way they were before the younger girl started avoiding her.

She was wrong.

Seungwan became even more distant and avoided Joohyun even more, to the point that the other members started to notice. Joohyun could tell that she was trying to make their ‘clashing’ schedules a coincidence, but she failed on multiple occasions.

But Joohyun was persistent.

Knowing Seungwan would go through all lengths to avoid her, she decided to do things for her from afar.

Joohyun would get up earlier to make breakfast for Seungwan and leave before she woke up so the latter wouldn’t have to see her. She would leave extra blankets in the car, or leave her own blanket on Seungwan’s seat.

Joohyun’s efforts didn’t go unnoticed by the members, and they often encouraged her, but Joohyun was getting tired of being ignored.

The saying ‘actions speak louder than words’ used to apply in their situation, but now it was time for Joohyun to speak.

The other three girls planned to stay at Yerim’s family home for a few nights during their break, forcing Joohyun and Seungwan to be together.

---

Now here they are.

Seungwan grazes her hand over Joohyun’s before standing up to clear the table, she gives Joohyun a warm smile.

“Okay.”

Confused, Joohyun looks at Seungwan’s back as she begins to wash the dishes.

“…Okay?” Joohyun stands as she leans her back against the counter, facing Seungwan, “that’s it? Okay?”

The younger girl nods her head before drying her hands and gripping the edge of the counter.

“Are you sure you didn’t just miss me?” Her eyes filled with questions.

“I heard everything you just said.. but- I don’t know Joohyun. I missed the way we held each other like we did last night. I missed your touch, I missed your voice.” She looked back down into the cloudy water that was draining away in the sink, looking for any sign of clarity.

“So I’m asking you again, are you sure you didn’t just miss me?”

Joohyun couldn’t blame Seungwan for feeling this way, if she was in her shoes, even she would think it was too good to be true.

She’d seen the hesitation in their eyes ever since their talk yesterday morning. So how could she prove it to her?

“Of course I missed you. But I also needed you. I wanted you. And I still do now.”

Joohyun slowly brought Seungwan’s face to face hers, and then, to meet her lips.

“Please let me show you,” if there was one thing that the two definitely had it common, it was that they both held so much genuity in their eyes.

Seungwan could see it; the need, the want- the love.

Joohyun buried her head into the crook of her neck, her lips lightly brushing against the soft skin of Seungwan’s neck.

“You have no idea how many times I lost my mind over the thought of losing you.”

They stayed like that for a while as Seungwan found her arms around Joohyun’s small waist, comforting her as she held on to her tightly.

Pulling away, Seungwan was expecting to meet with watery eyes but instead, she was met with a hopeful and longing look, just like Seungwan looked at her before.

Cute.

Something in Joohyun’s eyes shifted and Seungwan didn’t know what to make of it. Instead of analyzing it too much, she fixed Joohyun’s hair behind her ear, and pulled the rest of her hair forward to cascade down the front of her shoulders.

She smiled when she noticed Joohyun’s pajama top, it was hers actually; a baby blue button up that Seungwan had lent to her ages ago.

She chuckled when she noticed how worn out the shirt was now.

“You should’ve thrown this out,” Seungwan traced her fingers over the deteriorating ‘S.S’ embroidered on the collar, “the buttons are about to fall off too.”

Joohyun leaned in close to Seungwan’s ear with a tone that instantly matched the look that flickered across her eyes a few moments ago.

“Buttons are meant to be undone.”

A/N: So I decided to continue it- but also stop there because well, I don't know if I can write that. I really enjoyed reading your guys' feedback, it gave me a lot of insight and I saw so many different opportunities for another chapter so I figured, why not?

Thank you for all of the support!

-a.r