Homoual relationships are illegal within the Mafia. The punishment for ‘violating tradition’ is death. Not many dare to challenge the Family and oppose the Law, but Andy does. Against his better conscience, perhaps, but he can’t help it.

The first time he saw Shin Hyesung, he was entranced. How could anyone shine so brightly, to the extent of drowning out everyone else? Andy’s eyes were drawn to him, without fail, every single time.

And Hyesung noticed. Andy knew the Law, and he was certain that Hyesung would report him. Great, he would be killed within two weeks of joining the Mafia. What a record.

(Andy takes another drag of his cigarette and lets out a small huff. The smoke swirls, curling and writhing like serpents in the cold air. He reaches out to touch them, but the curlicues disappear at the first hint of contact.)

Hyesung most definitely noticed Andy’s affection, but he didn’t report him. Instead, he confronted him one day, alone in the training room, and asked him if he knew the Law.

“I know,” Andy responded casually, as if nothing was wrong. Hyesung leaned against the dumbbell rack, crossed his arms, and nodded. He didn’t say anything else until Andy was finished exercising.

“You should be careful,” he warned, heading towards the door. “Not everyone is as lenient as me. Lee Minwoo, for instance.”

(That was the truth. Lee Minwoo is blindly loyal to the Family. If they asked him to jump off a cliff, he wouldn’t even hesitate. There is nothing more dangerous than blind devotion, and so there is no one more dangerous than Lee Minwoo.)

The full impact of that sentence didn’t hit Andy until much later, until he was in bed and ready to sleep. Not everyone is as lenient as me. That meant Hyesung was… fine with it? Did it mean that he was gay too? It definitely meant that Andy wouldn’t be killed anytime soon, unless someone else such as Lee Minwoo noticed.

He couldn’t stop the erratic congo rhythm of his heart, nor could he help the huge grin that spread over his face. The starlight had come to him, and now it was within reach. It was so close, and all Andy had to do was stretch out his hand and take it.

And so he did. He cornered Hyesung one night in a dark corner of a dark hallway. “You…” After the first word, Andy’s mind wiped blank, and he forgot everything he had ever wanted to say to Hyesung, who only stood there, eyebrows raised. “You-- me-- I-I’m gay--”

“I know that.” Hyesung smiled then, gently, and Andy’s entire brain melted. “Are you trying to ask if I am too?” When Andy nodded, flushing bright red, Hyesung went on. “I wouldn’t mind it, but it would have to be secret and careful.”

“I can be careful.” Andy’s voice came as a hoarse whisper, and Hyesung’s cheeks dusted with pink. He didn’t mean to sound desperate, but the starlight, it was so close, and Andy so wanted to touch it. “I-if you want, I mean. No one would know.”

And no one did.

The wind blows across the rooftop, jerking Andy back to reality. He opens his mouth and lets the cigarette fall to the sidewalk below. It spins to the ground, drawing a trail of red through the air. Andy pushes himself to his feet, taking one last look at the beautiful city lights, and turns to head back inside.

haha sometimes i look back at my writing and i cringe. i don't even really want to finish updating this story hhnhhgfn it so bad