private chat
1:18 am / sunday

yeollipop: u wanna go together later? 
chansick: uh
chansick: im not going later hahah
yeollipop: why
chansick: kinda busy tomorrow
yeollipop: ayt ayt
yeollipop: is jinyoung going?
chansick: idk? probably haha
chansick: u should ask him

Gongchan sighs as he tosses his phone aside and quickly resumes playing Overwatch, putting his headphones back on. He feels a little off tonight, and his eyes that dart back and forth on the screen are slightly unfocused, unlike how they usually are. When he gets killed for what seemed like the tenth time that night, he grits his teeth and exits the game in annoyance before the final round can even start. 

He stands up and moves away from his setup, stretching his arms above himself and twisting his back. He lets out a groan and steps out into the living room, looking around. It's messier than he usually leaves it, and if he's being completely honest with himself it's because a clean apartment just reminds him that he's the only one living there anymore. The other B1A4 members had all moved out, leaving Gongchan to live in what used to be their shared dorm, and although he understood that five adult men living in a cramped space wasn't such an appealing option anymore, back then at least he knew that he'd still be seeing them often.

But since Jinyoung and Baro chose to leave the company, none of them have spoken, apart from awkward texts for professional stuff. The management is still discussing the future of the group, and although Gongchan has high hopes, he knows that even if they were to continue as five, it wouldn't be as easy and fulfilling as it had once been. They all know they're still friends, even with the lack of contact lately, and despite feeling resentful about their decision, the remaining members understand it even without having it explained to them.

Jinyoung has so much potential - he's one of the most talented artists today, and WM just couldn't give him the opportunities that he wanted. He loves B1A4 more than anything - they're his brothers - but as brothers he knows they'll understand that he wants to go his own way, even for a little while. Baro feels the same, and while he knows nothing will ever compare to his time with the group, he's learned everything he could from being in B1A4, and it's time to retire that side of him for now. 

Since WM is still deciding how to go about the whole two-members-in-different-companies thing, if they really push through with it anyway, the members are stuck in some sort of strange purgatory - do they continue hanging out like the possibility of parting ways looming over their heads isn't there? Mostly, they're scared. Their friendship is strong enough and transcends just being in a group together, but the entertainment industry is harsh. Members leaving groups are always hot news topics - and they're even hotter when the media can milk it as a bitter split. EXO, Infinite, Super Junior, Teen Top, U-Kiss, Beast, all of which are groups everyone believed to be tight-knit and unbreakable - Gongchan's mind spins as he remembers all the articles of former members talking about their groups - some with very subtle anger, others quite blatant. He doesn't want to think that B1A4 will end up having anything but a peaceful separation, but there's no telling how things might end up.

He shakes himself from his trance and tells himself that they might not have to deal with it at all. He prays everyday they still continue as five, but until he's sure, he'd rather keep to himself. He kind of feels bad for not reaching out, but whenever he thinks of making a call, he remembers that none of the others had thought to check on him, either. 

Mostly, he's upset that he can't talk about it to Chanyeol, Zico or Yoona. More than anyone else in the group, they always seem to know what to say, especially when it comes to difficult things like that. He had tried to call Zico earlier that night to ask to meet up, but he had simply said they could talk when the gang meets up later. Gongchan had replied, "Ah, right, okay," and hung up after saying goodbye. He doesn't want to go there and run the risk of seeing Jinyoung, especially when they still haven't talked. He'd ask someone to ask if Jinyoung was going, but he doesn't want to start talk amongst their group - they had always prided themselves on being honest with each other, and there was no way he would be the one to start a divide.

Without even thinking, he grabs his phone and coat from the bedroom and heads out. He steps out of the apartment building and into the cold night, and makes his way to the nearest soju tent he finds. It's kind of empty for a Saturday night, but he finds that he doesn't mind. "Ahjumma, a bowl of ramyun and a bottle of soju, please!" The old lady minding the stall nods and gives him a smile as he takes a seat. Within moments, the ahjumma is bringing over a bowl of steaming ramyun and the familiar green soju bottle. She sets them down on the table and gives him a shot glass.

"Young man, you look troubled," she says, and Gongchan can only laugh weakly. She continues, "I hope you know that burdens are easier to carry when you have someone to walk with. So drink alone with your thoughts tonight, and when you've gotten them straightened out, share them with someone who might not  necessarily understand, but you know will always be there for you." She pauses, and laughs. "I'm sorry, this old lady is probably making you feel awkward. Enjoy your night."

He shakes his head and offers her a soft but genuine smile. "No, ma'am. In fact, I think I needed to hear that. Thank you for the food; I'll eat well." He bows his head slightly and she returns it before walking back to the stall. He opens the soju bottle and pours himself a shot. He brings it to his lips and downs the liquor quickly, before setting the glass down and picking up his chopsticks. He's slurping up the hot ramen when a figure stands in front of his table and clears his throat. He looks up mid-bite, noodles still hanging out of his mouth, and when he recognizes his leader, he immediately in the food and swallows with slight difficulty. He winces at the small pain in his throat but speaks. "Hyung."

Jinyoung smiles at him. "Can I sit?" Gongchan nods, and Jinyoung takes the seat in front of him. "Ahjumma, another glass here, please!" 

She quickly hands him the glass, and as Gongchan moves to pour him the alcohol, Jinyoung waves him off. "Let me," he says, refilling both their glasses. He moves one toward Gongchan and raises his. "Cheers," he grins, and Gongchan does the same. Suddenly, his worries don't seem so daunting, and as he and Jinyoung take their shots, the warmth he feels inside his body grows and he knows it's not from the alcohol.

"I've missed you, hyung," he admits. Jinyoung gazes at him thoughtfully before telling him he's missed him too. "Have you talked to the others?"

"No," Jinyoung says with a sigh. "I'm kind of scared to. Are you guys angry at us? Especially me? I mean, I'm the leader. I'm supposed to be keeping the group together, and here I am, I'm abandoning you guys. I feel so terrible and selfish-"

"Hyung," Gongchan interrupts. He doesn't want to hear his hyung, one of the strongest people he knows, say such things about himself. Jinyoung looks at him apologetically, and Gongchan takes a moment to think about the question, before shaking his head. "I think we were angry at first," he says, choosing his words carefully, "but we know you better than anyone, and we know that you wouldn't do something like this unless you knew that you needed to. The last thing we want to do is hold you back."

"I never thought you guys were holding me back," Jinyoung reassures him. "There's just so much more I know I could be doing, and the company can't give me the opportunities I need anymore. If it were up to me, me and Baro would still be with you guys, even under different agencies. Contracts just tend to ing ," he sighs again. "But we're working something out."

The maknae nods. "I know. I'm still hopeful."

"Me, too."

They end up finishing two more bottles of soju in the next hour, and by three in the morning, Jinyoung and Gongchan are stumbling on the streets, arms slung over each other's shoulders as they laugh and sing loudly into the cold night. A sleek white sedan slows down next to them, and the passenger window rolls down. 

"Tsk, tsk, look at these celebrities drunkenly walking around Seoul," Yoona says with a laugh. The two B1A4 members squint and try to make out her figure, and when they realize who it is, they both exclaim in surprise and burst out laughing.

"Noona!" Jinyoung slurs. She rolls her eyes playfully and unbuckles her seatbelt, stepping out of the driver's seat and making her way to them. She opens up the rear door and helps Gongchan into the backseat, closing the door after him. She opens the passenger door and gestures for Jinyoung to get in, but he can only stare at her blankly. She groans in slight frustration before pushing him into the seat.

She hops back in and continues driving, and glances at Gongchan in her rearview mirror. He's passed out drunk, mouth hanging open, and she laughs. "Jinyoung-ah, what did you do to your baby!"

Jinyoung snickers next to her. "Noona, we got drunk."

"I can see that," she says between giggles. "I was gonna head to the spot, but I think you guys should get home." He shakes his head. 

"No, it's fine, we'll go."

"Hmm, are you sure? You guys are already pretty gone," she points out. Jinyoung simply nods, and she adjusts her grip on the steering wheel before shrugging. "Alright, but no puking in my car."

He laughs. "I won't, swear. I c-can't make the same promise for Chan, though." She rolls her eyes.

They're already pulling into the abandoned lot when she changes the topic. "I thought you said you weren't coming tonight." He sighs, and he doesn't have to say anything for her to understand. "You feel weird after leaving the agency, huh? That's something I was worried about when I heard the news. But from what I saw tonight, you and Gongchan are fine." She parks and can see several figures sitting in the distance, and over the hum of the engine she can make out their familiar voices.

"This is probably the first time we've talked in almost a month," Jinyoung admits. "What about when Jessica left? You must've felt this way, too." Yoona considers it for a moment, before responding.

"No, honestly. It was..." she pauses, figuring out what to say. "It was different, because Jessica was planning on leaving for a long time. GG stopped being a priority, and we all understood, but for a lot of us it just got harder and harder to be around someone who no longer shared the same vision. And the agency ended up making her leave seven months before she planned to. I'll always love her, and it's a shame things ended so badly, but I believe it was for the best," she says comfortingly. "That may not be what you want to hear, but that's how we dealt with it because it was such a different situation."

Outside, she sees their other friends wonder why she's not exiting the car, and in the darkness she can make out Chanyeol walking towards the vehicle before bending down and knocking on her window. She knows better than to tell him to go away so she unlocks the door and he opens the back door, bursting into laughter when he sees Gongchan's unconscious body strewn over the backseat. He pushes him onto one side and climbs in, closing the door loudly. Gongchan groans in his sleep and turns away, a string of curses escaping his mouth involuntarily, making the three people in the car laugh even harder. 

"Noona, why are you still in the car?" Chanyeol asks. "Mark brought Jäger, let's get ed up!" She gives Jinyoung a slightly apologetic look. 

"Jinyoung and I were talking about something important, but I knew you'd be annoying, so I let you in," she jokes. Chanyeol feigns being hurt, placing his hand over his chest dramatically. Jinyoung lets out a small chuckle.

"What's this important thing, then?" Chanyeol says, leaning forward in the middle seat. "Maybe I can help!" He flashes Jinyoung his classic grin. 

"Don't pressure him, idiot," Yoona scolds him before slapping his head lightly and turning to Jinyoung. "But Chanyeol might have something good to say; he's gone through members leaving, too." Chanyeol's mouth forms into a small O as he realizes what they'd been discussing.

He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a long, finely rolled joint. "Okay, but just so it doesn't get too heavy, I propose we hotbox while we do." Yoona laughs and nods in agreement. Chanyeol nudges Jinyoung. "You down, bro?" Jinyoung doesn't smoke weed much, but he's drunk and he supposes he can guilt Yoona into bringing him and Gongchan home if he gets too ed up, so he shrugs.

"Spark it."

HAN GANG group chat
3:39 am / sunday

pcyeol: we r smoking up in yoonas car
ziaco: u couldnt have stepped out to say that?
pcyeol: that defeats the purpose of a hotbox
pcyeol: duh
pcyeol: anyway we can fit one
pcyeol: maybe two ppl
markymark: can i get in on that
yoonim: yez
ziaco: me toooo
yoonim: zico mark g come in
krys: u guys
pcyeol: yup i see u all flipping me off from inside the car

A/N: hello! to be continued bc this chapter's getting pretty long haha. most of the things in this fic i try to base off of real things, e.g. jessica planning to leave but getting kicked out, why jinyoung and baro left, etc. i get these from pretty credible sources, but of course i took artistic license for story purposes.

up next, the smoke sesh in yoona's car, chanyeol talking about former exo members (and ehem ehem how one departure affected yoona more than she would like to admit), gongchan smokes weed for the first time and more!

p.s. i'm thinking of replacing sulli with joy bc tbh i dont ship chanlli as much as i used to and i think it'd be too complicated considering she's not in f(x) anymore and two f(x) members are in han gang. let me know what you think! bc if i replace sulli with joy i might replace someone else with sungjae too wahaha