Kim Jaejoong has always loved reading the words emerging on his tattoo.

Early on, everyone naturally develops an attachment to the inscriptions they were born with, reflecting the thoughts of the person destined to be with you. But it was especially different for Jaejoong. Usually, the inscriptions would be on your back, on your sides, on your legs, places you don’t normally see. But Jaejoong had them exactly on his left forearm, and he could read them easily even without meaning to.

The coffee-colored words on his arm would shift, scrambling lines to form something coherent and made the hopelessly romantic Jaejoong giddy. It made him feel connected with someone even far away. Seeing words on his arm change and change all the time like it was a living thing, he never felt that he was ever alone.

“My Love” was what he called the person behind the thoughts that invaded his skin, shifting magically and constantly.

Sometimes, his Love was angry, searing his skin with harsh thoughts like ‘hate him’, ‘coward’, ‘want to punch’ and days like these would be awful for Jaejoong. His heart would be heavy as he felt the anger of the words and he would talk to his soulmate as if they were there. He would sit on his bedside, staring at the tattoo and mumble, “What made you angry this time? I hope they apologize to you.”

Sometimes, his Love was happy, and his forearm would have writings like ‘best day’, ‘love it’, ‘congratulations’, and ultimately, it would make him feel happy as well and the good vibes lasted the whole day.

From a young age, Jaejoong tried to know and remember details about his Love, so once they are together, it would be as if they’ve known each other ever since. Like they had never been separated at all.

February 6 was his Love’s birthday. He was sure of it after seeing ‘my birthday’ written on his arm the same day, year after year. Jaejoong would wish his Love a happy birthday, and he’d go out for dinner and buy a cake to celebrate even just a bit.

He learned that his Love was obsessed with green, and had a husky named “Typhoon”. Pretty awesome name, Jaejoong thought. His family didn’t have any pets at all, so he felt that Typhoon had also been his pet whenever his Love would play fetch with him or take him to a nice walk.

He’s never seen this person or heard their voice, but when time comes and they meet, whatever his Love looks like or sounds like, he would accept whole-heartedly. Of this, there has never been any doubt in his mind.

--

Kim Jaejoong has always loved reading the words emerging on his tattoo.

Until one day.

Right after a class in his university, as he was packing his notebooks and books into his bag, he saw a new writing appear.

‘i miss him so much,’ it read.

It wasn’t that much of a big deal. His Love had thoughts of missing others before, like their mother, father, friends too… Maybe it was something like that.

But it wasn’t.

‘i love his eyes,’ It said, and Jaejoong was shocked, no, horrified... The realization crept slowly, and with it was dread. The thoughts couldn’t be mistaken as platonic or non-romantic.

‘i love his laugh’ ‘his smile is amazing’ ‘want to see him’

It didn’t stop and his forearm was filled with thoughts of romance from his Love when none of it was directed at him! He felt a radiating sting in his heart and his world crumbled, falling into pieces at his feet. He hated it and out of despair he covered his arm angrily with a bandage and cried for days.

--

“Oh, you went to class today. You made up with your love?” A tall man wearing glasses and an orange sweater teased since Jae missed a few classes because of his sulking.

“Unloyal... Two-timing !!” Jae immediately complained upon remembering his misery. “I was betrayed!”

They were walking through the hallway to get to the next class, when another man with black hair and blue shirt chided at the sometimes overly dramatic Jaejoong. "Betrayal only counts if you were actually together.” His remark made Jaejoong sulk even more.

The one with glasses then added, “Told you that soulmate concept is nonsense. Many people become couples regardless of the tattoo."

This was a friend he met in some class a few weeks back. He was the opposite of Jaejoong. While Jae was obsessed with his soulmate, this guy didn’t even think of it as anything, and only saw it as being lazy when it comes to forming a real relationship. Because of this, Jae called him “non-believer” or “loveless”, someone who has no soulmate at all.

Jaejoong gathered himself to show up in school the next days, but he was still very upset from the idea that his Love seemed to have found their own partner without even waiting to meet him. Out of hurt and feeling of dejection, he started wearing long sleeves and jackets to cover up his arm and tried to put the whole thing out of his mind.

Maybe the non-believer was right after all…

Maybe… There was no such thing as soulmates…

--

For the next weeks, Jae focused on his studies. He poured his attention on doing home works to keep his mind off his soulmate’s affair. His non-believer friend kept him company and them dining out became more frequent and frequent.

“Hey Loveless,” Jae called his friend and they sat across each other at a casual restaurant one night. “Why don’t you have a girlfriend? Don’t you ever check your inscription?”

His friend was actually pretty good looking with sharp features and cute beady eyes, but he had never shown any interest in anyone. He just nonchalantly went on to eat his meal while answering the fair-skinned man. “Mine is on my back. I can’t see it all the time like yours.”

“Ohh… Don’t you ever get curious?” Jae asked while idly twirling the noodles on his plate.

“Not really. My sister checked one time, but it was nothing special. I think it said, ‘hate my hair’, and one time it said, ‘soggy noodles’. Do you know how uncool that was, having soggy noodles written on my back while playing soccer? I was in middle school and had my shirt off. My teammates kept laughing at me.”

“Hahaha!” Jaejoong also began laughing from imagining it. “Soggy noodles! That’s charming.”

His friend smiled at him. He had a gorgeous smile. “Well, I don’t believe in a predetermined match,” He said. “I liked you, didn’t I?”

“Yep, I know.” Jaejoong agreed without much thought. He was focused on slurping and chewing on his meal that it took him a while to absorb what had just been said. He then abruptly paused from chewing before looking up at his friend in complete surprise. “Wait whadchu say?” He finally managed to ask, his mouth full of half-chewed pasta.

His gorgeous friend looked at him sincerely. Slowly and with undeniable fondness in his voice, he repeated, “I said I like you, Jaejoong.”

That moment, Jaejoong’s world stopped and caved in that small space between them. He never thought a moment like this would come. At least not to him. Ever since he was young he was expecting that he would find his Love and they would automatically be collecting sweet memories from there on. He never thought someone else would like him for… well, him.

“WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!” His reaction, a startled yell, echoed across the restaurant.

--

The next days, his non-believer friend kept asking him out on dates. He never declined because, to be honest, Jaejoong was sort of attracted to him. That’s why he would wait for him even if his class had ended first, or text him at night how he’s doing or talk about how enchantingly full the moon was at the sky from his window.

Loveless was tall, well-built, smart, and had the most gorgeous smile which Jaejoong, in all honesty, thought was to die for. His Love should be begging on their knees right now to even have a chance to stop this growing fondness he had. Well, Jae’s Love wouldn’t do it. They have found someone else to love after all.

Jae pulled up his long sleeve one night just to check up on the person he once thought was the only one for him.

‘amazing,’ it read, before shifting into different letters and forming, ‘he is perfect’

Jaejoong almost cursed seeing that, and once again, from the sting he felt, he covered it up, vowing never to look at it again.

--

"So... Where are we eating today?" Jaejoong asked his tall, now-boyfriend. They were walking side-by-side along a narrow street in Seoul at night. Bright yellow hues from lined-up street lights charmingly sparkled and illuminated their way.

The gorgeous man beside him smiled and replied, "Wherever your heart decides. I'll treat you tonight."

Jaejoong laughed softly and liked that idea. He was always the one who had a one-sided love, who celebrated and wished for someone else's happiness alone. It's the first time someone actually pampered him and did something for him instead.

"Beef steak then!" He suggested happily. His voice alight with a smile he couldn’t control.

"Alright! Beef steak it is."

Then Jaejoong took his hand, and the other man gave it a tight comforting squeeze. Jae thought that he could definitely get used to this warm, cozy feeling.

--

"It's your fault."

Jaejoong talked to the tattoo on his arm within the privacy of his room, his fingers slowly tracing the words. "If I find someone else, it's your fault... You found someone else first..." He said with tears threatening to fall from his eyes…

He loved his soulmate all his life and... in the end it would only come to this. It's a shame...

"It wouldn't be fair to him if I still thought of you always... Good bye, my love."

And he truly meant what he said.

--

The next day, Loveless invited Jaejoong over at his house after class. It was his sister’s birthday and there would be a simple feast to celebrate the event. Being the first time Jae would meet his boyfriend’s family, he was nervous but also, ecstatic.

They arrived in front of the house. It was a simple, two-storey house that overall gave an amiable, well-off impression. They entered through the gate and suddenly, this huge dog started howling and slowly going near them with its tail wagging happily.

The taller man chuckled upon seeing his dog that went up at him. "How have you been?!" He patted the fur briskly.

Jaejoong smiled at the sweet sight of his boyfriend being loving with animals.

"I missed you, Typhoon!!"

Instantly, all of Jaejoong’s senses went on high alert. "Wait what." He swiftly pulled on his boyfriend’s arm. "Say that again?"

"What?" The taller man asked.

"Your dog's name, what was it?"

"It's Typhoon. I got him about... "

"Seven years ago." Jae said at once which puzzled the other man.

"Can I check your back?"

"Wha-" The taller man wasn’t able to refuse since Jae had already pulled his shirt up on his own. "What are you doing?"

Jae heard the confused query but it seemed so far away as all his focus went onto the other's exposed back.

‘It can’t be’, Jae thought,

which were the exact words reflected across the shoulder blades of the other man, and it made the hair on his arms and neck stand up.

Then the letters started fading, and something else was scrambling. ‘impossible’, it said.

"When is your birthday, Yunho?"

"February 6. Why?"

"Do you like the color green?"

"Obsessed with green when I was young."

“And your favorite food is…”

"Duck stew," they said at the same time.

Time seemed to stop for Jaejoong and the man’s shirt slipped from his hold. Suddenly, tears were dripping down his eyes... An overwhelming feeling washed over his whole being. It's like he's been waiting for this moment all his life.

The taller man turned to look at him. An expression of worry formed on his face. "What, why are you crying?

"Your sister... Is Jihye?" Jae asked while tears ran down his face, recalling that his soulmate once fought with his little sister but made up by buying her a teddy bear.

"That's her name... What's wrong? Is something hurting?"

Jaejoong started bawling and he couldn’t stop it. A barrage of memories rushed through his mind along with immense feelings he had for the person who marked his arm and ultimately, his heart. The countless cakes he bought... the wishes of happiness... the things he said sincerely that he hoped would come across... and the unwavering devotion he had all came crashing down on him like a huge wave that swept everything.

He sobbed almost hysterically before remembering the writings he tried to cover on his arm. All along, the thoughts he hated to see was meant for him. Love and Loveless were the same person. "Ahahahaha!" He laughed even while tears still dripped down his eyes. How incredibly ridiculous is that!

The taller man became even more worried by the sight. "Have you gone mad?"

Jaejoong didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "I... I... " So he kept switching between the two emotions and wiped his cheeks. "I've always loved you."

Yunho stared at him for a moment before laughing in amusement. "Is that a confession?" He smiled gently at Jaejoong who looked silly sobbing and laughing at the same time. Reaching for Jae’s trembling hand, he then decided to share a confession of his own.

"Honestly, from the first time I saw you too… I think I already loved you."