A/N: i do my best trying to spot mistakes before posting but it's very common that one or two slip through. i'd like to apologize for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors that this chapter might contain.

*Jinsol's POV*

  The first thing I'm met with when I step into the party is the frustratingly loud music. The speakers are blaring some ty song that is undoubtedly played on the radio way too often. It's so loud that I can feel it in my chest, my heart pounding to the beat. It's distracting enough that I don't hear Kevin shout over the music until he repeats it a second time.

  "Do you two want something to drink?" he asks, glancing at me before moving his gaze onto Joonyoung.

  "Yeah," I reply.

  "Sure," Joonyoung says with a nod. He quickly adds, "No alcohol though."

  Kevin winks at him. "Gotcha," he says then disappears into the crowd of people in search of drinks.

  We stand near the entrance until some upperclassmen (who are already completely wasted) stumble toward us. It's impossible to understand a single word they're saying because of their slurring but we politely nod anyway. It's only when one of them reaches out to grab onto my wrist that Joonyoung slaps his hand away, practically growling, "Don't touch her."

  He slings an arm over my shoulder, ushering me away from them while they simply grunt in response. When he finds a corner in a room far away from those idiots suitable for the three of us, he removes his arm from its place around me. I glance at him, catching the frown on his face.

  "Hey, are you okay?" I ask, leaning closer so he can hear me over all the noise.

  He nods his head slowly. "Yeah, I'm fine," he answers, "Just a bit pissed that morons still think they have the right to touch a complete stranger without their consent."

  I pat his shoulder. "Joonyoung, it's alright. He didn't even get to touch me."

  A heavy sigh escapes him as he says, "I know. I'm sorry for being so upset. It's just I was taught to respect people's boundaries and—"

  "—it's a bit frustrating to see people blatantly ignore other people's space?" I finish.

  He cracks a smile. "Yeah," he agrees.

  We lean against the wall in utter silence, watching people attempt to have a conversation over the clamor or downing beer after beer. I successfully tune everything and everyone out for a while, focusing on a random wall or the back of someone's head. That is, until a couple in front of me become a little wild, grinding against each other to the rhythm of the current song blasting through the speakers. I physically turn my head so that they're out of my field of view, uncomfortability creeping up on me.

  I'm able to let out the breath I've been holding when Kevin approaches us, drinks in hand. "I've been looking for you guys, why'd you move spots?" he asks, quirking an eyebrow.

  "Some imbecile thought it'd be a good idea to try to put his hands on Jinsol," Joonyoung answers, his frown returning.

  "Oh ," Kevin exclaims. He turns toward me with a concerned look, "You're okay, right?"

  I nod my head. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine," I respond. "Joonyoung swatted his hand away before he could even come into contact with me."

  Kevin takes place between Joonyoung and I, pressing his back into the wall as he hands me a red Solo cup with a beverage that I'm unsure of apart from the fact that it definitely doesn't contain alcohol. He hands Joonyoung the other cup with a smile, all the while saying, "You're a hero, you know that?"

  Joonyoung laughs, reaching for the cup. "Who's hero exactly?"

  "Jinsol's," Kevin doesn't hesitate to say. Then, "Mine."

  Joonyoung freezes at that single word, hand glued to the plastic cup. He looks up, meeting Kevin's intense eyes. I quietly watch them, the hint of a smile on my lips because it's like they've forgotten I'm here. They stay like that for a couple of seconds before Joonyoung drops his eyes. He takes the cup from Kevin, their fingers brushing together, awkwardly laughing and saying, "Gee, thanks, Kev."

  "Anytime," Kevin says, taking a long sip from his drink in an attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks.

  The air has become noticeably heavier when Kevin nudges me, blurting out, "Hey, isn't that Jungeun?"

  I'm snapped out of whatever thought occupied me, frantically scanning the room for her. I finally spot her, standing at the other side of the room. She looks beautiful—although, when does she not?—as she quietly drinks from a red cup identical to mine that also matches the dress she's wearing. It hugs her body in a way that isn't at all eye-catching, but rather subtle. 

  The smile on my face slides off at the sight of a tall, handsome guy tugging her closer to him. She doesn't push him away, instead wrapping her arm around him. The soda I'm drinking suddenly tastes terrible and everything becomes too loud. I clutch my cup tighter, asking, "Who is that guy she's with?"

  Kevin looks at me from the corner of his eye, "I'm not sure."

  "Same here," Joonyoung says, "But I've seen them together a few times."

  I tear my eyes away from Jungeun and the mystery guy, opting to stare at the liquid in my cup rather than acknowledge the sympathetic looks Kevin and Joonyoung are both giving me. It's easier to ignore them but it's harder to ignore Jungeun's presence. After a few minutes, I find myself looking up to find her. This time she's leaning into him, looking up at him with a bright smile and I pretend that the churning in my stomach is caused by whatever I'm consuming rather than the sight of her in someone else's hold.

  Jesus Christ, deciding to come to this party was a mistake.

*~*~*

  Kevin and Joonyoung pulled me into another room so I'd stopped sulking over Jungeun. It worked for quite some time until Jungeun and that guy walked into the current room that we're in. It's louder than the previous room, the sound of talking and roaring music filling every inch of the area. Still, I can almost hear the giggle that appears to tumble Jungeun's mouth at whatever Mystery Guy says. She looks like the alcohol that must've been in her cup has started to take a toll on her and I convince myself that's why she laughed, instead of acknowledging the fact that he might be funny.

  It helps me cope until they start dancing. They sway to the rhythm, bodies nearly pressed together. She seems tipsy but aware of her surroundings, while he seems a bit more intoxicated from the way he almost tips over when he moves too wildly. As time passes, I become more and more uncomfortable watching them dance, yet I can't seem to tear my eyes away. 

  I don't like the way he touches her. Like she's some book he borrowed. His hands have moved from their place at her waist, now sloppily trailing her body. He isn't at all gentle, caressing her body with hungry hands and rough fingers.

  He touches every inch of her skin without a second thought, not caring whether he wrinkles a page or bends a corner.

  I tilt my head back, taking in the last few drops from the can of beer that now occupies my hand. I look back at the duo, feeling a slight buzz throughout my body that eases the tension in my muscles. His hand drops from her back to her thigh, his thumb brushing against the soft skin and I swear I catch the flicker of a frown on her lips. I blink, thinking it might just be my eyes, but when I look, she's smiling. It's probably the alcohol.

*~*~*

  "Jinsol, you have to go into the closet with Juyeon," some guy I've seen around once or twice pipes up.

  I glance around, trying to pinpoint who Juyeon is. I look away when I feel someone take my hand in theirs, gently tugging me to my feet. In a matter of seconds, I'm being dragged into a closet, the door slamming shut behind us. The guy who must be Juyeon lets go of my hand, pressing himself against the opposite wall. It's dark in this small, crowded space but bits of light spill through the shutters of the door and though I'm not able to make out much of his face, I can tell he's handsome.

  "Do you wanna talk to pass the next seven minutes?" he asks.

  "Wait, you're not going to ask if I want to kiss you?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows even though he probably can't see.

  He lets out a laugh. "If you wanted to kiss me, you'd be doing it already."

  He isn't wrong.

  "I guess you're right," I mumble.

  "You're Kevin and Joonyoung's friend, right?" he asks, straightening up a bit.

  "Yeah, you know them?"

  He nods, "Yeah, I'm Joonyoung's roommate. He's mentioned you."

  "Oh." 

  "I'm going to assume he's never mentioned me, huh?" he asks and I make out the outline of a smile on his face.

  I chuckling, answering with, "You're not wrong. I mean, he's mentioned a roommate but never dropped a name."

  A sigh then, "I'm not surprised. Joonyoung's never been one to mention a friend by name to other people, that is unless it's Kevin."

  Hearing Kevin's name catches my attention and I catch myself asking, "What do you mean?"

  "Well, I'm sure you've noticed how close the two are. Kevin's different, " he says. He shrugs, continuing with, "It's not hard to notice there's something between them. I mean, anyone with two eyes can see Kevin is pretty much in love with Joonyoung—except Joonyoung."

  My eyes slowly widen with each word he says until they're almost popping out of the sockets. "You know about that?" I ask in a hushed voice, worried someone might hear.

  "Kevin told me a while ago but I noticed before that," he replies. "It's surprising how much pain he puts himself through just to see a smile on Joonyoung's face. He'll always be looking for him in a room full of hundreds of other people."

  I can't stop the sigh that leaves me. "Sometimes it's like that," I mutter under my breath.

  This has Juyeon leaning forward, asking, "Have feelings for someone?"

  I shrug, tilting my head back to look at the ceiling, responding with, "I guess you could say that."

  He leans back, crossing his arms, silently watching me. "Let me guess, you're here at this party for a specific person and it didn't go as planned. You drank a bit to get them off your mind but they're still there," he says, finally breaking the silence that's filled the small closet we're stuck in.

  I'm still reeling from how quickly he managed to read me when I say, "Yeah."

  "Love's like that."

  "Like what?"

  "It makes you do crazy things. You put yourself through unimaginable pain in hopes that next time will be different. It breaks you to pieces but will always provide you with hope. It's annoying, it makes you lose sleep at night but you'll never give up because deep down we all want to be loved back."

  I don't say anything so he asks, "Did they ask you to come here?"

  "Yeah."

  "Then I bet that they're dancing with someone, wishing it was you. I bet that they're wishing it was your arms holding them and not someone else's," he says in a matter-of-fact tone. "I can almost guarantee you that they're looking around a room, trying to spot you." 

  I ignore the way my heart races at the thought of Jungeun looking for me, mumbling, "I doubt that."

  An annoyingly loud voice comes from the other side, announcing our time is up. Juyeon pushes himself off the wall, giving me one last look, "I hope it goes well." Then he's gone, walking out of the closet, telling everyone to stop clapping because nothing happened between us.

  I can almost guarantee you that they're looking around a room, trying to spot you.

  I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish it was true.

*~*~*

  I'm pushing out the back door, desperate to get away from the noise and the people. I forgot how emotionally draining parties can be. Kevin and Joonyoung disappeared to God-knows-where and when I tried looking for Jungeun, she was nowhere in sight. And so I'm alone at a party, a little buzzed, wishing I was a whole lot more drunk.

  I lean against the wall, relishing the way the cool breeze whips through my hair. The air inside the house feels hot, like warm breath and sweaty, intoxicated college kids. The air out here feels refreshing but brings back a feeling of nostalgia from my "date" with Kevin. It makes me think back to how Jungeun ran away from me and I hate it because everything seems to lead back to her.

  "Jinsol."

  The breath I'm taking gets caught in my throat and after a few agonizingly long seconds, I turn my head toward the direction the voice came from. It isn't too surprising when I see her but that doesn't mean it hurts any less.

  It isn't fair how quickly she can reduce me to putty in her hands just by saying my name. It isn't fair for her to look this good, pressed against a wall in the middle of the night. It isn't fair how I'm in love with her yet she can never love me back. None of this is fair. 

  "Jungeun," I breathe out. "Why aren't you inside?"

  "I wasn't feeling it," she says with a shrug. "Why aren't you inside? You seemed to be having fun."

  It's an innocent question but there's something in her tone that throws me off. She's hinting at something, she knows something. I stare at her, watching as the moonlight illuminates her features. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say she's mad.

  "Are you mad at me?" I ask.

  She snaps her head to look at me, her eyes taking on a dangerous glint. "What makes you say that?" she asks, her soft voice becoming the opposite of her hardened gaze.

  I merely shrug. "You just seem mad..." my voice trails off. "Can't you tell me what I did wrong?"

  "You didn't do anything wrong," she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

  "It sure doesn't feel like it."

  She scoffs. "What do you want me to say?" she questions, edging closer to me.

  I shrink away, creating a safe enough distance between us. "The truth."

  "Jinsol, when have I ever lied to you?"

  "You're lying right now," I answer, "And last time you chose to run away rather than answer my question."

  She visibly flinches at the second part. I have the urge to back off but I press on, gently saying, "Can you be honest with me? Five minutes of us being honest with each other. You can ask whatever you want and vice versa."

  She glares at me but her resolve slowly crumbles. "Fine," she huffs.

  "Why'd you run away from me last time?" I ask.

  "I was scared," she answers, her voice becoming smaller. She straightens up immediately, "Why aren't you inside?"

  "I hate parties," I admit with a sheepish smile. It disappears when I ask, "Why were you scared?"

  She glances at me warily. "I was—I am confused." She takes a deep breath, regaining her composure then asks, "If you hate parties, why did you agree to come?"

  Tell the truth, Jinsol. "I thought I might have a good time," I say. I force myself to add, "And I can't say no to you."

  Her lips part as she stares at me with an expression I can't read. It's almost as if she doesn't seem to realize she's moving closer to me until our shoulders brush together and she's dragged back to our reality. I clear my throat, trying to control the blush creeping up my neck and ask, "What's on your mind right now?"

  She smiles and for the first time tonight, it's directed at me. "A lot," she replies with a laugh. "Why can't you say no to me?"

  The blush I've been fighting spreads across my face and I'm glad that it's dark enough that she might not spot it. My hands are clammy when I answer with, "Because you're Jungeun! You're cool and I don't want to come off as a complete loser by turning down any offers."

  "You're not a loser."

  Suddenly I'm aware of how our sides are pressed together so I blurt out, "Uh, time's running out."  

  She lightly nudges me with her elbow. "Is this your way of telling me to hurry up?" 

  "Maybe," I reply with a grin.

  She rolls her eyes in response. "Alright then, I'm sorry," she apologizes, although she doesn't sound sorry in the slightest. For a moment, she doesn't say anything, just stares at me. What she says next causes me to physically jump.

  "Did you kiss him?"

  "What?!"

  Her eyes take on that glint again and she repeats, "Did you kiss him? Did you kiss Juyeon?"

  Why does she care?

  I suppress the overwhelming urge to ask her why it matters because I don't want to push her away. I'm sick and tired of being pushed away. All I want is to do is pull her in so she can't slip through my grasp. Rather than answer with a question, I find myself saying, "No."

  "No?" she asks, eyes wide in disbelief.

  I nod my head, patiently repeating, "No. I didn't kiss him."

  "Why?"

  Before I can stop it, a giggle escapes my lips. Then I'm doubled over, silently shaking with laughter as Jungeun watches me with a frustrated, almost angry look. Everything about this is funny. She's worried about me kissing some guy when she was being friendly with some other guy. His hands were all over her and she's worried about whether I kissed someone in a cramped closet. I should be upset but I can't be, not when she's questioning me as to why I didn't kiss him right after she stressed over the thought of me actually kissing him.

  I'm wiping tears from my eyes, my words barely coherent because of my laughing, but I find a way to stumble out, "I didn't want to."

  When I straighten up, she's watching me with narrowed eyes. "You didn't want to?" she questions as if she can't understand the fact that I don't want to kiss just anyone, let alone at some ing party I don't want to be at.

  "Yes! Is it hard to understand the fact that maybe I didn't want to kiss him?" I ask, becoming exasperated. I slowly let out a puff of air, "Why is that so hard to believe?"

  She throws her hands up in the air, slumping as she says, "I don't know, okay? It's just...you could've kissed him. You should have."

  My mind is racing with so many thoughts when I let out another laugh, this time it's come off colder. "First, you're worried about me kissing him, and next you're telling me I should have?" I shake my head. "Did you want me to kiss him or not?"

  She's in my face, looking up at me with pointed eyebrows and sharp eyes. "Who said I was worried? You could've kissed him and I wouldn't have cared."

  Liar.

  "If you wouldn't have cared, then why did you bother asking?" I counter, feeling my anger rise at her dishonesty. 

  "You're my friend, aren't I allowed to know whether or not you kissed someone?" she asks, stepping dangerously closer.

  "Yes, but you're not allowed to be unreasonably upset at me if I did choose to kiss someone," I shoot back, my voice louder than I intended.

  She has the audacity to say, "I'm not upset."

  "If you're not upset then why are we arguing?" I nearly shout, fed up with her bull.

  She blinks, taking a step back and I feel my anger lessen. It's silent when I mutter, "It's none of your business who I kiss."

  "Right, okay," she mumbles, eyes dropping to the ground.

  My stomach sinks to my feet when she moves away from my touch. "Jungeun..."

  She walks around me, avoiding my eyes as she says, "I'm sorry for asking. I'm going to go back."

  And then she's walking away from me, slipping through my fingers when I had her in my hold. I don't know what to do, whether or not I should prevent her from going in. Her hand is on the doorknob but I'm determined to keep her from going. From my place against the wall, I call out, "I didn't want to kiss anyone that wasn't you."

  That's all it takes for her to stop.

  Her grip on the knob goes slack, her hand falling to her side like dead weight. She turns to me with a blank expression, lips slightly parted like before. My heart is beating out of my chest and I'm worried I made the wrong decision. Maybe I should've let her go back inside. Maybe I should've said something else. Maybe I—

  slamming onto mine silences all thoughts.

  She's gripping at my shirt, pulling me flush against her. I bring my shaking hands to her waist, unsure of what to do with them and what I'm allowed to touch. Her lips are soft and the kiss is unbelievably gentle, yet somewhat desperate at the same time. is warm and welcoming, and I find myself imprinting the feeling into my brain, burning away the memories of all the boys I've ever kissed.

  As she deepens the kiss, I suddenly realize why I never felt anything whenever I kissed a guy. I start to feel the butterflies everyone talks about but I never experienced until now. I've kissed countless boys but none of them have made me felt like this, like Jungeun does. She presses me firmly against the wall, pinning me in place and that's when everything finally pieces together. 

  She cups my jaw and I make a noise at the back of throat because , I've wanted this for so long and it's finally happening. Jungeun is kissing me and I'm kissing her back and nothing has ever felt more right. My lungs are begging for oxygen but all I can process is how quickly Jungeun is overriding my senses. 

  It's when I accidentally bite her bottom lip and she whimpers that I realize just how far I've fallen. I'm tugging her impossibly closer, scared of this ending too quickly, because she's kissing me like she's wanted this for as long as I have. She's kissing me like she's long forgotten about the mystery guy at the party. She's doing this even though she knows we could get caught any second.

  I don't realize what I'm doing until I've pulled away, resting my forehead against hers. I love you. "I like you," I whisper for her ears only.

  Her lips are crashing onto mine again, kissing me with so much passion I'm dizzy, before she murmurs against my lips,

  "I like you too."

A/N

  and it is has happened! i wanted to make this chapter longer but i just couldn't do it, so i hope the kiss doesn't seem too rushed. school starts up on tuesday and i'm not sure how easily i'm going to adapt this year, which might prevent me from writing a chapter anytime soon. however, i'm going to try to write whenever i have the time. the next chapter might come later than expected but i hope you're all fine with that. let me know what you think of this chapter, your comments are greatly appreciated! :)

  twitter: @allhailhyejoo