Jaehyun spent the rest of the night huddled next to the heater, porridge in one hand and his phone in the other. Shortly after Taeyong’s abrupt departure, he had noticed his phone vibrating on the counter.

If Jaehyun were honest, he had already half guessed who the bombardment of messages came from. Ashley was both a family friend and a college acquaintance. She, too, read law but rumour had it that she merely got in because of her family legacy and their massive contribution to the school board. Renovations, charitable donations, construction of the new law faculty buildings, you name it.

Jaehyun and Ashley were never really close but Ashley never seemed to register that. Ever since their awkward introduction at a family gathering about a decade ago, Ashley had stuck to him like flies to food scraps, merciless and relentless.

His parents merely exacerbated the situation. American culture, progressive as it was, never caught up with his family and their close friends who were mostly expats from various parts of Asia. His mother was still keen on him getting married before thirty, with a nice woman who would (in her words) ‘bring her a grandson to carry on the Jung family name’. If there was one part of Asian culture that his father had accepted wholeheartedly, it was this.

So for years, the two families had tried to set up dates for Ashley and Jaehyun, ushering them to sit next to each other at dinners and throwing embarrassing suggestions such as ‘Why don’t you ask Ashley if she’d want to join you at the basketball match on Tuesday?’ or ‘Ashley, isn’t there a module you don’t understand? Why don’t you ask for Jaehyun’s help?’ Jaehyun was sick of it. No thanks, he had thought, but never had the heart to reject.

On top of that, his mother had a knack for guilt-tripping him, insisting how lonely she felt with Jaehyun always at school or work and his father absent, and how lovely it would be if ‘someone like Ashley’ could be around to keep her company. His father was harsher, barking out orders, forcing Jaehyun to make time for Ashley because ‘Ashley is a nice girl and her father would be valuable to our business’. So I’m just a figurine in your game of chess, Jaehyun had chuckled bitterly.

Perhaps it was because of the notion that he was merely part of his father’s business deal, part of his mother’s desire to be ‘less lonely’, that Jaehyun was staunchly against the idea of dating Ashley or any girl that his family would term as ‘decent’. He never fell for the ones caked in makeup, balanced on high heels or sported designer handbags. The girls he did develop feelings for were usually the modest ones.

Jaehyun still remembered the first crush he had when he was 15. She was the personification of a sunny day, the epitome of kindness. He remembered the day when he held her hand and led her to his house, swelling with pride as he visualized how happy his parents would be for him, the fact that their son was grown up now and had someone he liked. That was the first time his fantasies were shattered. That afternoon, his parents had feigned a kind of awkward generosity, but after his then girlfriend left, they chided him for dating ‘a girl from the poor part of town’ and that ‘people like them were better left as acquaintances’. His father had made sure the lesson was imprinted in Jaehyun’s mind as much as on his body as he slapped him on the cheek that night. Jaehyun remembered the stinging sensation, tears rolling down uncontrollably, exacerbating the throbbing pain. ‘But father, I just… I just really like her.’ Jaehyun had protested. ‘Maybe if you got to know her better you’d see how down-to-earth and how much prettier she is than Ashley.’ He was met by another slap. ‘We didn’t raise you to be this selfish, ungrateful -’ Jaehyun had willed himself to forget the profanities, the hurtful names his dad hurled at him.‘It’s your duty to help with the family business, son. Ashley will be the first step. Besides, she’s a nice girl. So pretty, so educated and so well-mannered.’ This was from his mother.

The deal with Jaehyun was that the more people pestered him to do a certain thing or behave in a certain way, the more he did not want to behave as told. It wasn’t him being childish or rebellious. He had just had enough of having his life being dictated to ‘study that subject because it’ll bring you heaps of money’ or ‘stop dating that girl because you’re too good for her’.

The years following Jaehyun’s high school graduation, he had worked multiple jobs during his legal studies and amassed enough to get by. There were nights when he would cry his eyes out, stressed out by both his studies and the fact that he was running short on cash. But he never once told his parents that he had stopped using the debit card under the Jung household’s name. He would make do with whatever he earned and paint a life of his own.

Jaehyun was also lucky and immensely thankful that he managed to land a job in a prestigious law firm straight after graduation. Despite the inhumanly working hours, he had a solid income rolling in, more than enough for his basic needs and extra to spend on luxuries.

-

Concentrating on his cracked phone screen that was still blinking furiously, Jaehyun punched in a reply.

‘Ash, don’t do this. There was never “we”, it was always just our families. I didn’t want any of this.’

Jaehyun knew he was being cruel and he almost pitied the recipient, but with Ashley’s persistence and fierce spirit, he knew his reply could far from dampen the fighter in her. It had always been that way for as long as the two had known each other. Jaehyun would get pissed, then soften up and Ashley would gladly pretend nothing ever happened.

His screen lit up again.

‘But Jae, “we” went to the movies, “we” hugged. There was ALWAYS “we”.’

Lies, all lies. They had gone to the movies because his mother insisted that ‘it’d be a lovely idea to bring Ashley to go see that new comedy, don’t you think, Jae?’ And Jaehyun was too polite to say no.

They had hugged because she rammed herself into Jaehyun at the airport when he was about to head into the departures gate and Jaehyun was too shocked to pry himself away.

There was no ‘we’, there never was.

Jaehyun sighed and gulped down a spoonful of warm porridge. It was bland yet soothing, a delight to his chapped lips and dry tongue. His mind momentarily lingered on Taeyong, the way he hesitantly told him stories from his childhood and stayed after hours to keep him company. Sure, ‘be a friend’ was probably in his job prescription, but to this extent? Jaehyun wasn’t so sure.

-

Taeyong lounged lazily in bed after returning from J