Jaehyun had lived his life by the book for as long as he could remember. He was the top of his class from elementary school to high school, graduated with first honours in law school and was recruited by the most prestigious law firm upon leaving college. He was a good kid, he’d like to think at least. When he was young, his father ran a tight ship: breakfast would be served at 8am, no earlier no later; then Jaehyun would go back to his room to study and wait for the plethora of tutors to arrive – algebra, history, chemistry, English, physics… you name it. His piano teacher would visit every other day and his father would sit opposite the grand piano as Jaehyun took his lessons, making sure his playing was impeccable. Lights out were at 9pm and there were to be strictly no exceptions. It had been this way until Jaehyun finally graduated from high school and managed to escape from his suffocating upbringing. It was ironic that his time at law school was the freest he had felt in his life. While Jaehyun’s friends whined about the workload and sleep deprivation, Jaehyun reveled in this fresh beginning. It was new to him to be able to plan his own schedule, to meet friends whenever he wanted to and sleep at ungodly hours (or most days, not sleep at all). College showed him how enjoyable life could be and for the first time, he entertained the possibility of perhaps not following the path his family had outlined for him.

‘Come back to the States with me.’ The words fell out before Jaehyun could make sense of them himself. The thought had been running through his mind since the phone call with his father but he didn’t think he would actually say it out loud. But now he had.

Once upon a time, when Jaehyun was still a toddler, he had a plushie, a furry grey bunny that had been worn down from all the hugs and smooches he had planted on it before bed. Jaehyun remembered returning home from kindergarten to find that his plushie wasn’t in its usual spot one day. For days it was lost and his father had asked him to move on. ‘Boys don’t play with stuffed toys,’ he had said, handing Jaehyun a superhero figurine. But baby Jaehyun never stopped looking for it, and one day, as luck would have it, he found the bunny, entangled in a heap of old laundry in the corner of the basement laundry room. Lost and found. There was no happier sensation. Jaehyun knew that feeling well: he had lost Taeyong, or so he thought, several times this week. There was the time at Namsan Tower, the time when Taeyong thought he caught Jaehyun betraying his trust by the club, the time Taeyong came and left after their whirlwind-like intimate episode. It was an escape mechanism of Taeyong’s that Jaehyun knew first-hand. He had lost Taeyong one too many times, and now that he had finally found him, the one he loved so very much, lying soundly next to him, he was not about to let the older boy go. Not now, not ever. Come back to the States with me, please Taeyong, Jaehyun prayed.

‘Very funny,’ Taeyong answered and although Jaehyun couldn’t see Taeyong’s face, he could imagine the older’s snark smile in retort.

‘No, I’m serious,’ Jaehyun lifted his head from Taeyong’s shoulders and pushed himself back until he could see Taeyong clearly, ‘Come back to the States with me.’

‘We’ll talk about it in half a year. You just got here, still plenty of time,’ Taeyong answered nonchalantly, like an adult pacifying a whining child carelessly.

The only way Jaehyun could think of that could make Taeyong realise how serious he was, was to break the news. ‘I’m leaving Seoul. I’m leaving, next week.’

Taeyong froze. The smile that had been plastered so beautifully on his face the past hour vanished. ‘It’s not funny Jaehyun. Don’t joke about things like that.’ He was in denial.

He had already said it. There was no turning back now. ‘I’m not kidding. The LA office wants me back to wrap up a project I started earlier this year.’ Same lie, same excuse, but it felt a lot more difficult repeating it to Taeyong now than it had been with Ten. But how was Jaehyun supposed to tell Taeyong that it was all because of his father’s homophobia? A white lie never hurt anybody.

‘B- But your secondment, it’s not supposed to end in another six months…’ Taeyong was flustered, clinging on to what little hope there was left.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter