I wanted to think that mother and Minseok’s loud voices coming from downstairs was a one time thing.

But I knew that was a horrible lie.

Ever since Minseok finished his sixth year of Medical school, going through his last seventh year; my Mom begun to be extremely protective. Not in the pleasing sense of the word, but the annoying kind of protection that you just want to stop; that kind that breathes down your neck and irritates the out of you.

Apparently, Minseok had had enough of her constant nagging to have a personal apartment to himself and his soulmate; an apartment closer to his university than our humble two-stories home. Minseok, unlike my Mom obviously, didn’t think it was a great idea to leave everyone behind and find a newer job for a ridiculous reason like ‘focusing on your studies in a more secluded environment’ which I agreed to as well; but it didn’t seem like my mother cared that much to what we thought.

Which was why Minseok had enough.

I was lying on my own bed, thinking about my own problems. My legs were crossed in distress on my mattress, even when I was lying down; and my hands were sprung around as if I was in a cheap, romantic novel. I didn’t care though, I couldn’t even care, with the hectic state my mind was at.

I couldn’t leave Baekhyun like that, I shouldn’t have left him like that. But he was the one who actually left, wasn’t he? Still, a part of me yelled at me for leaving him go away, for not chasing after him like a real soulmate should and actually hug the living daylights out of him even if I wasn’t a ‘hugger’. The thought of having Baekhyun in my arms – or being in his – spread a weird sort of tingles down my spine, my legs; and my arms. I felt, all of a sudden, like I was being submerged into deep, warm water. I shuddered.

Just a thought of him near me made me ache all over.

The door to my room opened before I could dwell on the matter of my soulmate and my feelings towards him, and I simply darted my pupils to the swinging object without shifting an inch from my position. I already knew who was coming in, Seulgi, and I was right, as she came inside with a big frown shaping her delicate face features. She was holding a whimpering Sejong in her arms, which was a first; and causing me to spring down in a sitting position.

“Here, hold him for me,” Seulgi told me with a softer tone of voice than her usual voice, something that always happened – and I always noticed – whenever she was in distress and didn’t know what to do. I accepted the chubby Sejong she laid on my arms with an exaggerated huff, something I always did whenever I had the pleasure of holding the boy. “Minseok’s loud voice scared him to death, I just had to take him away.”

“Mom actually didn’t notice him crying?” I murmured, rotating the small child in my lap so that he’d face me, my hands going to cup his plump cheeks and wiping the soft traces of tears he had going on. He let me do what I wanted while reaching for my wrists. I resisted the urge to coo at the delicate touch of his baby hands.

“She was too busy yelling at Minseok to notice anything,” Seulgi snorted, dropping billy first on my bed, right beside Sejong and I, stuffing her face in my blanket. The next time she spoke, her voice came out muffled. “The poor thing was crying really loudly. Once I picked him up and came to your room, he stopped.”

“Poor baby,” I mumbled distractedly, playing with my little brother’s soft hair that recently started to grow thicker than before, and he released a final sniffle before getting distracted by my fingers.

“Poor Seulgi,” My sister’s voice was hardly distinguishable with how she was forcefully pushing her face on my mattress. I allowed my lips to curl in a half smile when she talked about herself in third person. “Who has a math exam just tomorrow and is forced to hear this massive shouting at nine PM.”

“You should have studied before idiotically deciding to hang out in the mall with your friends.” I poked her buttcheek with my toes, and she tried swatting them away with a scowl of annoyance. I usually didn’t care what she did with her life as long as she didn’t interfere with mine, but when she comes to me, all vulnerable and soft-spoken, my older sister vibe come out of me unconsciously.

Suddenly while I was creasing Sejong’s hair, she sprang up in her place and gave me a huge, fake grin while clasping her hands around her lap like an obedient little girl. I squinted my eyes at her instantly, knowing she was up to something right away.

“So, Sehun told me you found your soulmate.”

“That’s a big fat lie, I didn’t tell Sehun about his identity.” I froze once I realized what I just said, knowing I had fallen for her trap. I knew Sehun hadn’t told her anything, because he doesn’t know anything. I knew it was her sneaky way to have me spill the beans about my secret soulmate like how she liked to call him, since I never share anything about him to anyone, even my own family.

Her eyes twinkled instantly, knowing that I had blurted out something I shouldn’t have said, and knowing that she had me in her grip now. She was always so excited to talk about my soulmate. At first, I thought her childish fetich to know about him was one of those puberty phases, where girls and boys grow mutual  interests about the opposite , but I figured out later on – she wasn’t the one to tell me that, obviously – that she wanted to be let in, in my life, I mean. To her (and probably every one of my family) I was a box of secrets that were insignificant to me, which was why I never bothered with sharing. To them, it was like Christmas was coming soon whenever I shared anything about myself, especially Seulgi, since we were the only girls (aside mother) who were in this household, and sisters were supposed to be closer to one another, weren’t they? That’s what she thought.

She felt like soulmates were sacred, and she wasn’t the only one who thought that, which was why she was always so curious about him. The bigger the secret I tell her of is, the stronger our relationship gets, yes? That’s what she thought, at least.

“It means you know of his identity, don’t you?” She wiggled around on my bed with the biggest smile I saw her wear on her face. I crawled away from her, horrified, and Sejong released a delighted squeal at the sudden movement.

“Does it matter?” I tried to say anything in hope to detour the subject away, but she didn’t seem like she caught on to that hint, and rolled her eyes.

“Of course it matters, you idiot,” She huffed and I squinted my eyes at the insult. She didn’t notice my look, or decided not to care. “Knowing who your other half is? The one you’ll love for eternity? It ing matters.”

“I really don’t care,” which was a lie, or would have been a lie if I hadn’t really found Baekhyun, but now that I’ve found him, and knew who he was; I felt acid burn my tongue at that sentence I let out. I gulped that feeling away, or tried to, and winced when the disappointment only increased. I had been careless before, and I realized now that it was stupid; because Baekhyun was a delight, and I regretted not knowing him before.

I, the girl who was terrified of people being a disappointment to her, was regretting not embracing this whole soulmate matter earlier; so that I could have met Baekhyun earlier, and he wouldn’t have been so disappointed in me.

“Is there something wrong?” Seulgi was in my personal bubble in seconds, looking down at my face with worry she tried to mask with indifference – because to her, showing your care for your siblings was uncool. “You look like you have swallowed something sour.”

What a good analysis.

“Can I.. entrust you with a secret?” I found myself saying, softly, like a whimpering, gentle cat; and my own eyes widened at myself. What was I saying? Why did it seem like Baekhyun and his soulmate connection to me made me do things way out of my lane and personality?

“Yeah, sure.” Seulgi sounded way too giddy and happy to be entrusted to something, although she tried to hide away her joy. I gulped a little, parting my lips and confessing my thoughts and feelings.

“I did find him, actually,” Seulgi let out a squeal and I really, really wanted to push her away from my eardrums. “But I kinda made him mad right when I did because.. well, you know how I am.. horrible with..my.. feelings?” Urgh, I was such a ing idiot. What the hell was I saying? Surprisingly – or not really – Seulgi confirmed my words more than happily.

“You do with showing your feelings. And really? Upsetting your soulmate just when you found him? That’s a whole new level of ed—“

The door of my room was clicked open again, cutting Seulgi’s not-so-appreciated words. She and I looked at the newcomer, only to find Sehun closing the door behind him, looking pissed off. He came all the way towards us and flipped down beside Seulgi. I knew that something must’ve had happened downstairs to make him this disoriented, hearing the calmness and silence spreading from down within. Minseok and Mom weren’t fighting anymore, and it seemed Sehun was the cause of that. Knowing him, he wouldn’t tell us that or mention anything about it. He’d swallow it down; just like how he swallowed the death of his soulmate.

Until it broke him into peices.

“Ew; you stink.” Sehun pushed Seulgi’s thigh away from his face, even though he was the one to lie down extra close to her (because my bed was small) thankfully for him, Seulgi didn’t push him using her knee, even when she was strong enough to send him tumbling down. However, it didn’t mean she couldn’t flick him in his forehead.

“Ow.” He let out with a blank face at her gesture, and she huffed, while I rolled my eyes.

We stayed silent for a few seconds, soaking up to the sudden silence that came from downstairs, which only meant Minseok and Mom weren’t fighting anymore. I stared at Sehun wondrously, my eyes showing the feelings of surprise I had for the boy. He rarely indulged Seulgi and I with his presence, since he considered us annoying and embarrassing. He rarely visited my room after the death of his soulmate, or Seulgi’s for that matter; preferring to distance himself from everyone. To see him in my room only meant one thing, he was too bothered by the fight of Minseok and Mom. He was like that, Sehun; whether he wanted to admit it or not. He was soft and sensitive. He hid in my rooms all the time when he was either sad, or troubled. I used to talk to him to distract him of what he thought about, and he used to do the same to me.

I guess there are still some characteristics in him that are too strong to suppress.

“Sehun,” Seulgi called to the boy once the silence was too bothersome to endure, and Sehun lazily lifted his eyes to her. “Dani found her soulmate, and she made him angry right away. Talk about a new level of idiocy.”

He froze, and I froze, while she grinned like an idiot. I tried to nudge her with my toes, a gesture she squirmed away from with a high pitched squeal, startling Sejong slightly. A dark energy seemed to come out of Sehun’s body, and we both turned to him with blank faces, wondering what was that about.

There were flames coming out of his eyes.

“You found him? Who is he? Do I know him? Is he friends with Joonmyeon? Is he someone I’d kill?”

Wow, is he being protective? I gaped at him silently.

“If there is someone to kill, it is definitely Dani.” Seulgi snorted in an entirely unattractive way, and I sent her a silent glare. Was this the trust she thought of? That Sehun wasn’t crossed off from the list? Damn her, I knew I shouldn’t have told her anything.

“Who is he?” Sehun all but ignored her, directing his attention to me with such tenderness I forgot Sehun was capable of showing sometimes, to me nonetheless, and I continued to gape at him like a foreign ape. I realized that he looked slightly hurt too, that I didn’t tell him, and also pained, because I get to meet and find my soulmate; while he couldn’t.

“Em, you don’t know him.” I tried to say slowly, as if I’m in the presence of a rapid animal, and payed extra attention to Sejong’s cute smiles rather than Sehun’s hard, squinted eyes.

“You can try me.” Sehun said strongly, and Seulgi – thankfully – interrupted before I could say something stupid.

“That’s besides the point, Sehun,” Then, she whipped her head towards me as if she didn’t just brush Sehun aside like a measly fly. The boy didn’t even look pleasant enough to act around him so carelessly, and I gave Seulgi a look of newfound respect. “What she did to him was stupid. I don’t understand why you are even sitting here with us, and not exchanging saliva with him right now.”

Did she just…? In front of Sehun..?

“Well?” She and I continued to look at each other, her eyes held expectations and awe, while mine held puzzlement and bewilderment. Wha