5. Silent tears are more hurtful than a loud cry because it means you're still concealing some of your emotions rather than letting it all go.

Gikwang knew how much it would affect Yoona if he were to tell her everything about the cases. But he wasn't someone who would protect someone from harm if it allowed them to grow. As long as her life wasn't in danger, he was fine with it. He knew that Yoona was someone who spent a lot of time thinking rather than acting recklessly. She was the type who concealed everything in her mind and heart, but after spending time reflecting, that was how she came back out stronger than she was, ready to accept new challenges, That was the Yoona he knew. And he can 100% say that she was still the same. 

He entered Yoona's apartment and Yoona had already prepared black tea. "Sorry to disturb you."

"Not at all. I am happy that you are willing to expose everything to me. Thank you." They sat at the couch and he noticed the eye bags under her pale skin. He wondered what must have happened to her. She noticed his stare and he saw the hint of hesitation in her eyes. Faint but it was there. She remembered something. 

"Mr. Detective... I... After meeting you the other day... I remembered something..." She said and cleared . He noticed the faint fear in her eyes but her face remained normal. Simply her eyes showed off faint emotions. "I... saw my mother. Clearly... and a shadow. When you mentioned earlier that you have something to tell me... I knew it would be about my mother." She explained and forced a smile. "She died... protecting me."

"Ms. Im." Gikwang called and she lifted her eyes to him. "There is no use to try to blame yourself. Could you change anything from the past? Would she be happy if she knew you would blame yourself? Auntie loves you. And if anything was to happen to you, she would have gone crazy." He said and she nodded. He was right. Despite reading so many books about psychology, when herself was put in this difficult position, she can't remember anything she learned. Emotions took over her. But yet, he took a hold of herself with the detective's words. Thoughts had to be clear. Or else judgments are blinded by emotions. Judgments needed to be based on proofs, it needed to be objective. 

"Thank you." She said and cleare dher throat. She seemed less sad now and he knew she was ready to hear it all.

"Like you've guessed already, your mother didn't actually die in an accident. And I am afraid that the culprit is the serial murderer of the current case that I'm holding onto." He explained and she listened carefully. "There is also a possibility that someone within the police force is helping the murderer, this is simply an assumption but not impossible." He said. "You are the only person who would be able to help us. You're the only witness to ever had the chance to meet him. And the only person wo might remember."

"You have a plan to make me remember?" She asked and he nodded.

"I have spoken with your doctor and another specialist through a video call on the way here. It is not impossible and it might work. So far, all your doctors have done were minimally affect the reaction of your brain through pictures, having people you were with be with you. But the reason for your brain to brough up a self-defense mechanism, preventing you from walking didn't come because of a simple hit of a car. It is from your brain. You were running way from the shadow with your mother and it was also him who hurted her. An unpleasant memory, which of course everyone would want to forget and wished it never happened. This caused your brain to develop a defense against that memory, eventually also affecting your legs because in that memory you were running away from him." 

As he spoke, his voice resonated in her. He was right. She had read so much on situations like these yet, never considered herself as one of them. Isn't this the reaosn why psychologist skilled or not nor psychiatrist cannot heal themselves? 

"You will bring me back to the crime scene." She asked and he nodded. The brain was such a complex organ, and sometimes our memories adapt itself to suit the way we want things to be. From our senses, we perceive information differently to others. This method trigger the closest memory to an event in someone because you are re-living the situation itself. "How will you do that?"

"I happen to know the reason you went there that night."

She looked at him wondering what he meant by that. In fact, she was already doubting that she might actually know him before.

———

When Dongwoon came back from work, he noticed Joowan coming out of Yoona's apartment. "Hyung." He called and wondered why he was leaving during dinner time. Yoona was very particular with the time they had dinner. She also wouldn't agree to have her brother leave while they were eating. 

"Good timing Dongwoon-ah. Have you had dinner yet? Yoona's out with the detetctive." 

"Detective?"

"Remember Gikwang? Seems like he is back and is investigating the case. Yoona is with him.”

———

The ride was silent. It was a little awkward for Gikwang who didn't know where to start. Was it because it was a bad timing to even get into a conversation? He remembered how she seemed very surprised when he told her earlier that he might know the reason why she was outside the hotpoint of the hotpoint of the Yeon District. He remembered it like it was yesterday. It was because of a promise they've made to each other. Whoever was the first to confess, needed to have the letter they burried together, years ago, to be read. He forgot about it then until now. 

He stopped the car and offered that they walk around until maybe she might remember anything. "Mr. Detective. What drove you to want to become a detective?" She suddenly asked. A question he once asked her. He remembered how she used to tell him that she wanted to become a detective and that if the two of them do it together, they would be invincible. He laughed at the memories of it.

"I was told once by a girl that if we two become detectives, we would be invincible. Since young I didn't have any other interests than wanting to solve crimes." He explained and Yoona smiled at the words. 

"Is she your girlfriend? That was pretty cute of her." She commented and he agreed. 

"Right?" He said. "I don't know if she is still my girlfriend. She never gave me an answer." He told her and he felt that she was asking herself question, also wondering if she should ask them. "She didn't make it to give me an answer. Hope she would one day though." He finished and she nodded.

"Is she that worth it?" She asked and he didn't answer at first before he replied a yes. They continued their casual walk around the place, a quiet neighbourhood which its citizens didn't seem to be night owls. The streets were almost empty. 

"Ever fell in love?" He dared to ask about the past few years he weren't there. "When you find someone that simply makes you comfortable and happy to be around with, everything is worth it. Especially when you realized that person had already owned your heart, no matte who you date and who you meet, the heart just couldn't accept them." He smiled to himself. "Sorry, I went overboard talking about all these stuff." He said and she shook her head. 

"No. I haven't been in love, at least, not in my memories. But the way you described it is very true and down to earth." She said and turned around to face him. "It is very touching how you described it. I hope you would get an answer soon." She said and she turned back to face in front of her. 

"How about you Ms. Im. Any plans in the near future?" He asked and she nodded. 

"I also want to become a detective." She replied and excitingly told him the reason behind her statement. "I have nothing else but interest in people's minds. I spent a lot of time looking at people, coming up with a profile. I just... feel like since young I have been doing that although I couldn't be so sure of that. I want to be a detetcive who uses psychology and criminal profiling to solve crimes."

"Interesting."

"But my dreams would only be achieved if I get better."

"And you will. Ms. Im, everything is in your mind, if you know you will, then you will." He said and she nodded. 

"Seems like you also read a lot about psychology Mr. Detective."

"I didn't read. She did." He replied. "I simply listened to what she wanted to say."

"She is right though. Everything comes from the mind. And as for memories, you just need to allow them to come back..." She said outloud but it was more for her that she said it out loud. They were walking up a small hill which allowed them to see everyhting in the neighbourhood when Yoona straighten up her back. "C... could you contine this way?" She asked and Gikwang didn't ask any questions and listened. He pushed her down where she directed him and continued straight until he was told otherwise. He didn't know if it was working but part of him knew it was going somewhere. His intuition was telling him so. She had been silent for the rest of the walk. She didn't say anything else but simply directed them through the neighbourhood. 

After about 30 to 45 minutes of contant walking in silence, they arrived at the tree where Gikwang clearly remembered, where they burried 2 letters under. A big tree in the back of the neighbourhood, noticeable from the hill afar. She was still silent and he decided to stop there. He walked up to the front, crouching down, before seeing tears falling down her eyes. Gikwang didn't know what to do but he also knew he might have triggered some memories in her. He didn't know which but he did. Now he stood there with mixed feelings. What should he do?

He, without realizing, passed his hand behind her head and pulled her to him, patting her head. "It's fine. Everything will be." He mumbled loud enough for her to hear it. Yoona continued to let tears fall down and thus, this concluded their day that night. She never said anything, Gikwang didn't forced her either. This incident simply proved him how psychology was indeed very useful in investigation. And as for Yoona, he wished he could just go up to her and comfort her. But again, it wasn't the time yet. There was something else more urgent that awaited him.

———

He chewed down his gum and watched the detective and the lady leave the scene. He made a bubble out of the gum and snapped it. He was wearing a black cap, black gloves, and a black mask. He also wore black glasses which hid any facial features or hint of who he might be. "Interesting. I almost forgot about her."